MIKE LEACH, R KELLY, A MIDGET, AND A FAT GIRLFRIEND

by Orson on Dec 29, 2009 11:11 AM EST

...then a fat girlfriend steps into the kitchen,
Says "Coach Leach where's my man, I'm askin' you cause he gone missin'!"
He says "Talk to the guaaaaaard!"
She says "Why's there a guaaa-aaaaaarrrrd?"
Guard says "Cause I'm a guaaa-aaaaaard!"
She says "Why you rushin', you know he got a concussion,"
And then Coach Leach says "I'm tryin' to get fired bitch, so keep up your fussin'
I got to let this boy out
So he can talk to his daddy
So they'll think that I'm batty
Get a new job thanks to this kid bein' bratty."

So Leach says, "Man show this girl that he's fakin'"
The guard says "Coach, you sure you want to mess up your life?"
As he ate a plate of bacon,*
Leach says "YES."
The lady says "NOOOOO"
The guard says "None of this shit makes sense, but here I go."

He walks to the cabinet, he's close to the cabinet, now he's opening the cabinet.
Now pause the movie cos what i'm about to say to ya'll is so damn twisted,
Not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man... is a CRAIG JAMES'S SON!

AND A MIDGET

A MIDGET

a midget...

*Patented R. Kelly dramatic note of no actual consequence or relation to the story.

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Comments

Come at the Craig, you best not miss.

by Holly on Dec 29, 2009 11:19 AM EST reply actions

Quit now. Pack it in. Box it up and retire. Un-top-able

by InTheBleachers on Dec 29, 2009 11:22 AM EST reply actions

Its everything I ever hoped that it would be

by Jerkwheat on Dec 29, 2009 11:24 AM EST reply actions

OH MY GOD A RUBBER!

RUBBER!

rubber…

by Seven Years in Gainesville on Dec 29, 2009 11:27 AM EST reply actions

This post is why you have to wait till Jan 1 to make “best of the year” lists.

The absolute culmination of EDSBS. It’s like L.A. Confidential. There are all these different threads (Marky M, LSU Freek, the ongoing Ballad of Mike Leach) and suddenly in one grand moment it’s all tied together and your mind is blown.

by Gator Bone on Dec 29, 2009 11:32 AM EST reply actions