CURIOUS INDEX, 12/28/2009

Billy Donovan thinks Urban Meyer is a flip-flopper.

The one thing at the press conference I found hardest to believe was that he hasn’t talked to Billy Donovan yet. Yesterday had Donovan’s fingerprints all over it.

Also, someone mail Mark May some Jack Bauer-approved electrodes. Lou Holtz clearly knows the whole story and isn’t talking.

“Yesterday in practice, I just got done running like a quarterback draw and I was finishing starting a turn, and usually messing with Coach Meyer like I usually do, and he just looked at me and said the same thing he said to Ryan, just “I love you.” Then I knew that something was up, that something wasn’t exactly right there. Not because he said that, because we say that to each other, but because of the moment and everything. So I knew something was going to happen." —Timmy Tebow

He didn’t say I love you in the right way. I can only imagine how much grab ass they play during Florida practices.

@Kevin

Love to see the hatefest resume. For about 18 hours Urban was in the victim seat and then he just threw himself right back into the bad guy booth with the flip flopping. Oh Urbs you almost seemed human, he must just have been low on oil and now he’s back into robot mode.

Hatefest is right. That guy at Team Speed Kills is such a colossal prick. Meyer is going to die of a brain tumor like Terry Hoeppner, and his wife is clueless/a liar?

I hope South Carolina never wins another game just so that asshole has to suffer in perpetuity.

I thought even during the “dead period” they get 1 phone call a week to recruits still. My guess if DaCoachO called Elam at 11:50 Saturday, talked well into Sunday, then called him again later Sunday since it’s a new week.

etsuVOL: THAT’S how you read the rules, son.

Not to get off topic but they’re installing a metal roof on our building here in BR and today they decided to work right above my office. My head is pounding like a cyst on the brain from the noise.

(Les Miles has a cyst on his brain too, but I think they gave him a lobotomy instead of removing the cyst.)

I don’t imagine I’m the only one, so let me go ahead and let it be known that macaques = monkeys.

Later today Foley will call a press conference in which he will announce that, after watching a season’s worth of game film, he has had a change of heart and will name an inanimate carbon rod as the team’s interim coach. Staying true to form, Adazzio’s response will be conservative yet at the same time incompetent.

I am still in full dread of letting Adazzio run the program indefinitely. (Which is the college football equivalent to letting Stevie Wonder drive a Bugatti Veyron.)
Lets just hope the good Doctors at the College of Engineering get their hands on the Urban 1.0 and performs some major upgrades quickly so we have Urban 1.1 back soon. AK-47 toting alligators be damned.

dammit, i knew urban shouldn’t have relied on dr. steve brule for that second opinion.

bonobos > macaques

I personally am going to watch the Shreveport Latrine Bowl with a sense of revelry as Georgia fans realize they’ve gone from celebrating the vanquishing of a rival they had previously owned for almost a decade to playing in the shitty part of Louisiana against a 6-6 Big XII team in a bowl game.

GOOOOOOO DAWGS arp arp uncontrolled sobbing

I know that nepotism is a bad word in CFB (See: FSU) but I think Nathan (Meyer) might do a better job than Steve.

@11 – to quote funny Eddie Murphy “that shit ain’t funny motherfucker. Stevie Wonder is a musical genius.” And speaking of genius, I think we all know where this is going, MILES TO FLORIDA! WOOHOO!

ps. Is anybody else still totally shocked that this is happening? It’s like Atilla just got down off his horse in mid-stride and said, “good luck fellas.”

@justin: The George Allen incident a few years ago taught me the meaning of the word.

Again, Google to the rescue.
bonobos = the home of better fitting men’s clothes – men’s pants, shorts, swimsuits
-and / or-
bonobos = more monkeys.
I will have to look into this George Allen incident of a few years ago that #17 speaks of.

“…like a pack of macaques playing with a box full of lit fireworks”

How on Earth do you come up with these lines? Bravo, sir.

As an “arp, arp” fan, I will enjoy watching the Dawgs play whenever, wherever, especially as it is on the heels of the Gator head exploding into a miasma of emotions. I always the knew football gods would eventually drop the other shoe in regards to UF. Just never gave them full credit for their creativity.

Rich Brooks doesn’t need your fucking frame, sir.

Even if Rich Brooks decides to hang up his whistle, please tell me the Rich Brooks stories will continue. I beg of you sir…God knows I don’t ask for much. This character has come to life in my house. I use the line “in need of a clean white shirt and a dirty brown woman to somba the night away” at least 3 times a week. And my beautiful wife, an avid reader of your work, laughs every time. It’s gold Orson, gold. Keep up the great work and Merry New Year!

@20,

Before you get too giddy about our “emotions” re: our coaching situation, remember that even [name redacted] has a winning record against the ’dawgs. Have fun in Shreveport.

Yeah, but the redacted era of UF football was still highly enjoyable to UGA fans, just watching the UF fans be miserable.

Why thank you loads, Chaz.

We did.

Yes, Chas @ 23. Zook had a winning record against the Dawgs. But the Gators do not.

There’s the dithering I was looking for! Now Florida football can be placed on hold for a year while everyone waits to see what Meyer will do. What a great position for the “interim” coach to be in next year! No way this doesn’t work out super awesome!

The way I see it, Urbz needs someone to man the helm for a year, and Bobby Bowden wanted one more year of coaching…

@5 ESMjr. —

Wow. “Prick” and “asshole” are not frequently adjective people attach to me — at least not in public — but from your reading of my post I can understand why you might think that. I hope you’ll read this comment so that I can clear a few things up.

My intent was never to make anyone think Meyer was going to die or to compare his medical prognosis to Terry Hoeppner. The post actually says we should all hope Meyer doesn’t die — and I haven’t heard anything that would lead me to believe that there’s any real danger of that. I was only trying to point to an example of where it has happened before, because much of the commentary (including some of my own) has suggested that this is unprecedented when it actually isn’t.

I also didn’t say that Meyer’s wife was clueless or a liar. I simply pointed out that some people might assume that after she was adamant in a message to one reporter that there was no way Meyer was going to return — and he did a few hours later.

While I am a South Carolina fan, the blog is not written from a South Carolina perspective per se. It is an SEC blog, written from an SEC perspective and on which one of the co-bloggers is a Florida fan. As a matter of routine, I don’t ever apologize for what I’ve written — but I do apologize if anything I did caused it to be misunderstood.

I wish the best for Meyer and Florida. The SEC is better off with both of them. As a gesture of good will, if one is still possible, feel free to e-mail me at the address you can find on the Web site down at the bottom of the page by my user name. (I don’t know what policy Orson has on e-mails in comments, or I’d put it here.) Again, apologies if I didn’t make myself clear.

Oh, and Orson, my favorite part of this post is the last bit where you mock “those who assume human behavior falls into some kind of pattern”, when that’s not been the case at all. Assumptions about human behavior do not apply to Meyer.

@26 – Maybe you haven’t heard – the Gators are working on it. The series record will fall soon enough.

@29:

There’s no problem with my reading comprehension. Your use of weasel words to distance yourself from speculation (and subconscious hopes, perhaps?) that Meyer is going to die, and comments impugning the character of his wife, weren’t lost on me. It is after all standard practice when you want to say something but don’t have the guts to do so to couch the comments in what "some people say" or "some might think."

I’m familiar with your work over at TSK, and while I admire its thoroughness and generally well-crafted nature, your disdain for the Gators in general and Meyer in particular are evident in what you write on a daily basis. Your grudging acknowledgement of their indisputable on-the-field success, which you’ve pointed to before as evidence of your objectivity, does not change that.

Look, I’ve got no problem with hating another team, or thinking another team’s coach is a douche. But at least be honest about your biases, likes, and dislikes—it doesn’t invalidate your opinion, and in fact makes for better reading in most cases. Trying to hide what’s painfully obvious to any reader who’s paying attention (and the mouth-breathers that make up a goodly portion of the commentariat in the sports blogosphere don’t generally fall into that category, lucky for you) is frankly pathetic.

And while your refusal to offer an apology for anything you write is your business (and I’m certainly not looking for one), at least spare me and everyone else in the future the insult of a non-apology passive-aggressive "I apologize if anyone [overly sensitive crybabies] misunderstood/was offended by my [completely innocent] actions." It’s worse than saying nothing.

Prick.

@ 32: What did cocknfire say that impugned Mrs. Meyer’s character? And as for speculating about Meyer’s death, I believe the source for that would be Urban’s father.

Full disclosure: I think the vast majority of Florida fans who post on blogs and message boards are insufferable, hypersensitive (and not in a good way) pricks.

@32

I don’t want to turn someone else’s comment thread into a flame war, so I’ll just offer a more clear apology and leave it at that.

I apologize for daring to in any way criticize the great Florida Gators and their maganimous leader of men, Urban Meyer. I hope that you will forgive me if I don’t say that Meyer and the current Gators are the greatest assembly of humanity ever to grace the face of the Earth. I’m sorry that I’m not objective in the manner you believe is objectivity, which essentially leads to “GATORZ RUL!!! ALL ELZ DRUL!!!”

Finally, I apologize for taking you calling me a “prick” as an insult. Based on your comments here, I should clearly take your assuming that to be my character as a compliment.

Well, I said I didn’t want an apology, but I must say I’m pleasantly surprised you’ve come around to my way of thinking.

I look forward to reading your future efforts, which I expect will be more in line with your second paragraph. Minus the spelling errors, of course.

Oh, and one nit to pick: I didn’t say “some people might think” you’re a prick, or that your example is similar to another situation when someone acted like a prick to get my point across. I just said you’re a prick. See how that works?