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Around SBN: The Gift Of The 2003 Tigers

OHIO STATE COMES AT YOU WITH A GANG OF CHILDREN

"We don't need no kicker 'cause we goin' for two." Oh, now we know you're just making shit up, especially with number three receiver Duron Carter out for the Rose Bowl thanks to academics (along with defensive end Rob Rose.)

The intimidating thing in the clip are the ferocious-looking children hanging out with the MC here. Laugh, but you really could beat up far fewer nine-year olds thank you think. Our personal bet was always somewhere around nine of them if they were coordinated, ten if they weren't, and fifteen if they were disabled in any way. You have to plan for these things, because knowing is half the battle, and who are you to say categorically that you won't be forced to fight an army of disabled nine-year olds for your life one day?*

*Syracuse football joke goes here.

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Big Ten tutors suck ass.

by Kevin@LSU on Dec 15, 2009 5:02 PM EST reply actions  

How did they get these white kids for the video?

Also, I must get them props “addicted to quack” was clever.

Kevin@LSU is right, if Cris Carter’s son can’t stay eligible with smoke, mirrors and a co-ed doing his homework is there any hope for anyone else?

by InTheBleachers on Dec 15, 2009 5:16 PM EST reply actions  

  1. I believe in the credits it stated Children : some stolen some owned.

by DanF on Dec 15, 2009 5:19 PM EST reply actions  

Are they playing dominoes?

by DougoUConnPlaysFootball? on Dec 15, 2009 5:28 PM EST reply actions  

Ahhh, yes. The vaunted ‘big 10 akademiks’ we hear so much about.

by bitterhorn on Dec 15, 2009 5:46 PM EST reply actions  

Plodding, predictable, and lacking creativity. I guess fitting, right?

by Brad on Dec 15, 2009 5:51 PM EST reply actions  

Those youngsters are the little known white corner boys from Season 4 of the Wire. Unfortunately, their scenes ended up on the cutting room floor. Pandemic!

by Raleigh Urbain on Dec 15, 2009 5:54 PM EST reply actions  

Sheer, utter embarrassment. Didn’t even make it far enough into the video to see if they played spades.

by Beeps on Dec 15, 2009 5:56 PM EST reply actions  

Nice video…but noone can everbeat “THE SLEEPEY FUCKING RAPPERS and PAJAMA PARTY”
 sing it with me " I AM, A BUCKEYE FAN"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0Cwn9hY108

by Bobafet7 on Dec 15, 2009 6:24 PM EST reply actions  

Truthfully stating that the “Pac ain’t no joke” might lead one to believe that these gentlemen aren’t experiencing a total failure of their logic centers. Implying that Ohio State has the wherewithal to score a touchdown destroys that belief with the ferocity of a Monty Python foot stomp. LeGarrette is charging up his Falcon Punch as we speak.

by Mike Bellotti's Mustache on Dec 15, 2009 6:32 PM EST reply actions  

Kirk Herbstreit prays for the safe return of his blonde haired blue eyed sons.

by Brian on Dec 15, 2009 6:55 PM EST reply actions  

Oh dear. Every time I think it’s safe to leave the rock I’ve been hiding under since 41-14, something like this happens.

Thanks to Final Cut and Garageband, the true cream can now always rise to the top.

by F O U R on Dec 15, 2009 9:26 PM EST reply actions  

There is no way this was filmed in the "heart of Oregon’.

1) Oregon has no heart, but instead 3 extras kidneys needed to support its micro-brew industry.

2) The only snow in Oregon is on the mountains, which are conspicuously absent from this video. (The only possible explanation being that it was filmed somewhere in eastern Oregon, and anyone here will tell you that part of the state is a lawless shit-farm controlled by local nomads and the KKK. True story: Idaho once tried to annex the region, but found it so barren and useless they retreated back across state lines.)

3) Ohio state fans are about as common here as Unicorns.

by Halfback Pass on Dec 15, 2009 11:48 PM EST reply actions  

This is still no competition compared to the “I love my Ducks” video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hrjpe1VCNg

Rhyming Masoli and Ravioli NEVER gets old. It’s metaphorical genius.

by Brother Seamus on Dec 16, 2009 1:30 AM EST reply actions  

Okay, so I’m a fucktard for saying this, but:

There’s two “O’s” in “Ohio.”

I can haz hip-hop fail?

by AZDuck on Dec 16, 2009 5:20 AM EST reply actions  

Ohio Law: Hats must be worn at any angle other than that intended, beginning at birth.

by Pondo Sinatra on Dec 16, 2009 6:17 AM EST reply actions  

@2: addicted to quack is the name of an Oregon sportsblog. These guys poached it off the interwebs.
Big 11 academikz: it’s not plagerism, it’s ‘sampling’

@orson: do you think FL will be able to fit an army of disabled children on the schedule next year?
Charleston Southern and FIU were fine with St. Tim on campus, but next year…

by Scodderfan on Dec 16, 2009 7:58 AM EST reply actions  

Why why why do athletes use Twitter?! It’s never a good situation nor is starting a question by repeating the same word three times but whatever.

http://theangryt.com/?p=3410

by JimmyMcNulty on Dec 16, 2009 9:20 AM EST reply actions  

@14 – Masoli and canoli would’ve been more impressive. Canoli’s are under-appreciated and classy, like Ducks foosball. Ravioli’s are more for the Jersey Shore sect, like, I dunno, The U.

by F O U R on Dec 16, 2009 9:37 AM EST reply actions  

Ahem. Arp and what not, but say good man, who DID let the dogs out? Arp, etc.

This has nothing on Bubba Sparxxx.

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Dec 16, 2009 9:44 AM EST reply actions  

Hopefully they make enough from this song to buy the second kid a jacket.

Snow on the ground and he has on a short sleeve.

by wreck17 on Dec 16, 2009 9:48 AM EST reply actions  

as a buckeye fan, i am embarrassed. this is almost as bad as redneck buckeye. heck, i’ll even admit, the “i smell roses” oregon rap was much, much better than that.

by davereg412 on Dec 16, 2009 10:00 AM EST reply actions  

Dear people: Stop letting Ohio State fans near your children. It never turns out well.

http://michiganzone.blogspot.com/2006/05/to-catch-buckeye.html

The fastest way to Colombus is through the Pedoph Isles.

by Spyder Mayhem on Dec 16, 2009 11:01 AM EST reply actions  

har har har spyder mayhem - like ohio is the only state in the country that has sick, perverted idiots. that smack is so freaking weak - it would be like me telling you how to correctly spell Columbus*

by davereg412 on Dec 16, 2009 11:59 AM EST reply actions  

Why oh why do OSU fans keep making ridiculous videos every year. . .

I have spent hours searching for the aptly named “Gator Stompin” video from the OSU-UF BCS game in 2006 with no luck. If anybody can find this please please repost!!!

by Darby on Dec 16, 2009 4:48 PM EST reply actions  

Making fun of this is really too easy…its like calling Mangino fat…i just hope the kids are not too traumatised….from having to act like they like tOSU….

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Dec 16, 2009 10:29 PM EST reply actions  

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