+1000 creatine cocktails to you. I ask (to no one in particular) what are the odds that Zook can find a third team outfitted in Orange/Blue to mangle?

I heard that Jon Tenuta went to a coaching clinic led by Box ’O Wires this past summer. Learned a lot.

If Coach Mr. Buckets is still available after January 1st, don’t be surprised if he’s on a jet plane headed to Gainesville.

It can’t be any worse than what we saw this year. At least Mr. Buckets doesn’t abandon the run when you are down 2 points with over 30 minutes to play….

I can’t believe Box of Wires found work after his time on Mike Martz’s staff.

@1: Perhaps Boise State is hiring?

@Flatlander

How about an assistant spot at Auburn after he gets canned next year?

Actually I call bullshit on this whole thing. How can you do a story on REDACTED and leave out his Diesel and Buckshot smoothie?!

Kicking the Bucket Dept:

Laugh all you want at Mr. Buckets, but he had a better career than Cheeseburger Charlie.

Notre Dame’s new coach – Bryan Kelley? A small-timer who hit it big recently. He has coached at colleges I have never heard of, except Cincinatti. It is amazing that the best ND could do is get coach from a “little” conference, and could not entice a “name” from one of the majors of college footbaw. ND might beat Navy, whoopty do.

As a USC fan, it will be fun beating up on the new Chubby Guy from ND.

“It’s like sitting but more ambitious.” You had me right then and there. I could only imagine the reamings Orson would have given Callahan if his loyalties were for the Huskers. Jesus Christ, Zook was like Bear Bryant compared to Billy C.

@ Stacy Keibler Luvs Me:

I totally agree. And I don’t appreciate Jeremy Foley hiring a small timer from Utah and Bowling Green. That was total bullshit too.

Easy there big fella. The last time they tried this model, they went with some barely known Armenian guy who they hired out of Northwestern (for God’s sake!), who’d had a few good years prior at a little college in Ohio. It worked out.

At a personal level, I think Kelly’s a preening schmo, and, since he spent time in Clifton, I’m duty-bound to hate his guts, but guy can coach. To me, the open question will be how well he can recruit on a national basis at a school with actual academic standards.

Hadn’t thought of that… [REDACTED] returns to the SEC. Potential comedy gold, there.

/notices box o’ wires is from a Toyota

…kinda rare to see an Asian coach at the upper levels of CFB

/checks Geek-O-Meter, sees it hit 11

@ #1: I don’t think Boise State would be foolish enough to hire him, but the New York Mets might be crazy enough to do it.

Ty’s Fault Dept:

When Kelly starts losing at Notre Dame next season, I guarantee you there will be all sorts of ND yahoos who will blame Ty Willingham for the losses. Then I will not be able to stop laughing.

Kelly is Charlie-light.
a) chubby but not as fat as Charlie
b) good on offense, but not as good as Charlie the schematic advantager
c) poor on defense, but not as bad as Charlie
d) not an ND grad like Charlie, but Irish like the sweepstakes,
blah, blah, blah….

The fact that coach [REDACTED] will be back next year is still stunning to me. Who does he have Polanski pictures of, anyway?

Rumor has it that the new OC will be Three-Day-Old Ham Sandwich.

@1: UVA. He’d be there forever.

@ rusty #14: Francoeur seems like Zook’s kind of QB

Warchizken, I’ll see your 11, and raise you. Its a engine/ecu harness from a post-1996 4 cyl Camry.

I don’t know which is awesomer:

the line “…like a girl scout in a hydraulic press…”

or

the fact that everybody here is so sick that it was unworthy of a comment.

Wonderful stuff, Orson

Re #15: You’re three out of four. I disagree on (b), because Kelly’s offense may actually be better suited for the college game than Weis’s. But there are a few other points you missed that might help Kelly out:

(e) doesn’t bitch about the talent he’s got but simply coaches them up;
(f) could probably turn a poodle into a quarterback;
(g) doesn’t think deep in his heart that he’s too good for the college game; and
(h) has the best set of salesmanship skills seen in the region since Harold Hill passed through “Gary, Indiana”.

Again, as noted above, I don’t like the guy. If he gets into trouble at Notre Dame, it will be because he keeps taking the same sort of character risks that he was able to recruit at his prior stops. But the fucker can coach.

@1

We all know where this epic drama will conclude…lovely Syracuse.

Illinois football: so bad, even TARP money can’t fix it.

Other fans may enjoy the fact that their league isn’t as bad as the Big Ten, but they don’t have the endless humor that comes from having Ron Zook in their conference.

Well played, Orson.

SKLM has apparently not gotten over the collapse of the Humanity late this year. I think deep down he wants to be a Domer – same looking down on everyone (check), unwillingness to recognize reality(check), annoys everyone with every comment (check). We have a winnahhh!

“stacy kiebler loves me”, you are a dumbass, and sound like typical L.A.
OMG, he’s like, from nowhere. No name recognition! LOL.

If anything the fact that he’s won with traditionally weak programs should have you scared shitless.
Now that he has talent and a big name behind him, he’s going to give Pete a run for his money.

Prior to Florida, Urban Meyer HC’d Utah and Bowling Green. So according to your logic, Meyer can’t hang
with the big-time programs.
Retard.

i can see i now: tenuta comes in to replace box o’ (apparently camry) wires and mangino is brought in to replace a kinkajou (strangely, the same thing that happened when he got the job at kansas).

please, if there is a god in heaven, allow this to happen. please.

also, 1000 cocktails for the subtle text message. it’s the little things, ya know…

Boozy McHound (#3) – dude, your school has won TWO national titles in the past four years and recently won like 20 games in a row. Are you really going to bitch about the coaching?

Florida fans in both football and basketball have zero grounds to bitch about coaching, officiating or anything else college-sports related, for a long time.

…since he spent time in Clifton…

check out DevilGrad droppin’ local neighborhood knowlege on us.

@Stacy Keibler

“Notre Dame’s new coach – Bryan Kelley? A small-timer who hit it big recently. He has coached at colleges I have never heard of, except Cincinatti.”

So you’ve never heard of Central Michigan? And you feel qualified to comment on college football even though you’ve never heard of the school that won the MAC this year?

hilarious….more of your great work….keep it up, you may even have a popular(er) website soon…