A GENTLEMAN IN EAST LANSING MARKS HIS TERRITORY

by Orson on Dec 10, 2009 2:09 PM EST

A fellow gentleman approves your gusto.

From time to time, a gentleman finds it necessary to mark his territory. Perhaps he decides to do this with the extension of his gloved hand across the shoulder of a comely lass on his flank, or perhaps with the decisive positioning of one's epaulets adjacent in a manner suggesting dominance over another gentleman's lesser attire. Or, mayhaps, one might espy a particularly advantageous spot at the banqueting-table or a choice seat at the opera, so that all below may digest the bounteous sight of a gentleman's fine cufflinks, spotless sleeves, well-cut suit, and rigid, well-buffed top hat soaring above his mustache.

All of this, yes, may be true, but in rare instances that only the keenest of gentlemen should--nay, MUST--revert to the brutal but effective methods of the animal kingdom in order to properly demarcate his lebensraum:

ST. JOHNS – Michigan State redshirt freshman receiver Myles White was charged this morning in St. Johns District Court 65A with urinating in public, a 90-day misdemeanor, and with minor in possession of alcohol, which carries a penalty of $100 plus court costs because it is his first such offense.

We stress that this is a last-ditch effort for the gentleman in distress, and certainly not for a novice without so much as single hair of gray distinction to be found on his dewy pate. Nevertheless, the promise of someone demonstrating such bold decision-making at a young age is to be lauded. With a few years training in Turfman's Academy of Gentlemanly Demeanor and Behavior, much could be made of him.

(HT, stylistically speaking and always: The Foggy Monocle.)

(PS: But was he wearing a tie when he did it?)

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Would it be fair to consider Michigan State as a preseason Fulmer Cup favorite? First dorm fighting, now this.

by Smyth on Dec 10, 2009 2:29 PM EST reply actions

At least he didn’t need to bring nine of his teammates with him.

by Fornelli on Dec 10, 2009 2:32 PM EST reply actions

With a few years training in Turfman’s Academy of Gentlemanly Demeanor and Behavior, much could be made of him

A quick question to all…

with the demise of Schnelly’s Top 25 brought to you by Turfman’s Leisure Scotch, who’d like to see descriptions from Turfman’s Catalogue for Gentlemen grace the page during the off-season?

Citizen’s Unite!!

(Raises Hand)

by CincySooner on Dec 10, 2009 3:04 PM EST reply actions

do we have to wait till post season to begin the Fulmer Cup talley? Those nine Mich St players could help them win going away. This guy, not so much…

by WarChiziken on Dec 10, 2009 3:06 PM EST reply actions

How are they coaching the kids these days? First UT and now MSU players are making the rookie mistake of the ’false start". I thought every redshirt freshman would have been told that criminal behavior is only rewarded with Fulmer Cup points AFTER bowl season.

by SC_Eer on Dec 10, 2009 3:08 PM EST reply actions

CincySooner sez:
with the demise of Schnelly’s Top 25 brought to you by Turfman’s Leisure Scotch, who’d like to see descriptions from Turfman’s Catalogue for Gentlemen grace the page during the off-season?

(Raises Hand Also)

by SC_Eer on Dec 10, 2009 3:10 PM EST reply actions

Gotta love the Spartans.

Driving towards a Big 10 contention, then careening off into a gully of arrests and losses.

Shakespearean.

by Techie on Dec 10, 2009 4:05 PM EST reply actions

- To be fair, they were fully out of Big 10 contention before boarding the struggle bus.

by PeteFromTOC on Dec 10, 2009 4:12 PM EST reply actions

Speaking of The Foggy Monocle, I hope those guys come back, they haven’t posted in a few months.

by T on Dec 10, 2009 4:19 PM EST reply actions

I think the NCAA should investigate teams that are illegally training for Fulmer Cup.

by wvjgrad69 on Dec 10, 2009 4:26 PM EST reply actions

Thanks for reminding me how awesome Foggy Monocle is.

by BIg Jon on Dec 10, 2009 4:37 PM EST reply actions

Anything with Turfman’s and Schnelly would be better than the Digital Viking, to me. So I’ll raise my hand too.

by Brizzle on Dec 10, 2009 4:41 PM EST reply actions

Turfman’s is greatness but I need Digital Viking during the offseason – it gives me ideas of things to eat, drink, read and combust on Saturdays that don’t have any football (on Saturdays with football, I have all 3 categories thoroughly covered).

by Wes Tex on Dec 10, 2009 5:15 PM EST reply actions