I'LL SEE YOU AT SBARRO...
by Orson on Dec 4, 2009 2:40 PM EST
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PrintAn empty office in Lawrence, KS.
Worker 1: Is there anything else we need to clean up in here?
Worker 2: I'm not touching that pile of towels.
AD Lew Perkins: I suggest you flip a coin gentleman. This office has to be clean for our new coach Ron Prince tomorrow, and I want it spotless. He's a bit of a germaphobe, which explains why he shaves his head and avoids all contact with dirt.
Worker 1: No way. I'll quit first. Hey, what the hell happened to that wall over there?
AD Lew Perkins: Oh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Listen, just make sure you do something about the towels, mop the floor in the bathroom, and--
Worker 2: Are you sure he's gone? I mean, he was so...mean sometimes. I don't think someone like that ever really goes away, right?
Worker 1: Yeah? Where does someone like that go when they get fired? This was his life, man.
AD Lew Perkins: Guys, I know this is difficult, but if you could--
A MASSIVE RUMBLING AND SHAKING OF BASS...
Worker 1: Whaa---
AD Lew Perkins: Shit.
Marky M: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Lew: Dammit, we just had that fixed, Mark.
Singers, from nowhere in particular:
cinna-BON-BON-BON-BON-bon-BON-bon-BON-bon-BON
Tell me what you gonna do
When they're ain't no cinnabon
Cause t's gonna come to you
When hunger it comes to youuu
Cinna-BON-bon-BON-bon-BON
Let's all bring it in for Marky...
Mangino, the pink slip's got him, and he's gonna miss everybody
I only roll with T-Rees, he say "You got to practice every da-he-aaayyy"
Feelin' sadness like your momma
When she all up in that drama
Bout you baby brother gettin run ovah in the Rover
Now don't get flattened like him when we play the 4-3 Over
What's a pimp like M to do
Just wander 'round the mall
My track suit, my flak suit
On this battlefield we ball
My words you say they too rough
Get you hurt like rusty handcuffs
How you gonna get better, get the hoes and the cheddar
If the M leave you soft as marshmallow fluff
See he workin' on a plan to heaven
Got it goin' like 24/7
Put you ass int he right place
By taunting you about your dead mom to your fa-hee-aaaaace
HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
CHICK FIL A, CHICK FIL A, CHICK FIL A
EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY
CHICK FIL A, CHICK FIL A, CHICK FIL A
EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY
Just follow me COLD STOOOOOOONE...
They beat it with metal paddles
Like that ass when Marky's in the cut
Got your girlfriend screaming what
The M lead you into battle
Make opponents ride side saddle
He cut and and beat it and easily defeat it
Your bio, he reads it, switch it up and repeat it
Back to your face for motivation
Slappin' up a coach humiliation
is the starter
for bein' harder
Marky M too real for your shit
Like beats done by Bambataa
Like them thangs on Ali Larter
Like a night trip to Guadalajara
This verse in Spanish, you no comprendo
Marky M take the buyout like a sack a seedy endo
This bitch shit, you take it
The M, he cannot fake it
I poke the chests and take the test
Got eight million bitches show me they breasts
Like a sky full of titties lightin' the night
They orbit this sun cause they respect the light
They respect the gravity, the mass is undoubted
Respect the shine, cause the jewelry is flouted
Big boy stunnin, this cost me some scratch
Cause disco balls this big need the diamonds to match
Fuck the KU rapping, this Mangino street-hoppin
So get up out your seat hit the mall we tag poppin'
Lookin' so fresh posted at the Baby Gap
Cause my seeds need fly like their daddy needs to tap
That ass, girl, don't need to be shy
When you see me leavin' Lawrence ain't no need to cry
Ain't no need for fightin' fussin and trippn'
Tracksuit and slippers, but never see me slippin'
Ain't seen them in years, but lawya I got knees.
Not gonna die on 'em, bitch, now let's light them trees
See these feets, can't see 'em either but they know what's free
That's me motherfucker, hit the chorus and see--
HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
CHICK FIL A, CHICK FIL A, CHICK FIL A
EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY
CHICK FIL A, CHICK FIL A, CHICK FIL A
EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY
Haters, where can you find me?
YOU'LL SEE HIM AT SBARRO
CAUSE HE GONE GET HUNGRAAAAAAAYY...
YOU'LL SEE HIM AT SBARRO
CAUSE HE-GONE-GET HUN-GRAAAAAAAYYYY...
YOU'LL SEE HIM AT SBARRO
CAUSE HE GONE GET HUNGRAAAAAAAYY...
YOU'LL SEE HIM AT SBARRO
CAUSE HE-GONE-GET HUN-GRAAAAAAAYYYY...
Better bring him a nutty buddy...
Better bring him a nutty buddy...
[REPEAT REFRAIN AND FADE]
Mourn ya till we join ya, Marky M.
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Comments
For the rest of the fucking day, I’m going to have Mike Doughty’s voice in my head singing “cinna-BON-BON-BON-BON-bon-BON-bon-BON-bon-BON.”
by DevilGrad on Dec 4, 2009 2:49 PM EST reply actions
What no “Man I miss my uncle Charles” in reference to Weis?
Great work though, I remember being a kid and singing “Meet me at McDonald’s and you won’t be hungry”
Love it
by InTheBleachers on Dec 4, 2009 2:52 PM EST reply actions
we have got to increase the budget at ESBS to get these things orchestrated and put on video
somebody make it rain around here!!
by WarChiziken on Dec 4, 2009 2:56 PM EST reply actions
the most fucking brilliant thing i have ever seen on the internet!
by beckett929 on Dec 4, 2009 2:56 PM EST reply actions
OH…. and Ms HRA… you are the TNT, gotta love the Hamburglar cradling a chicken leg (hot wing?)
man I love your brain
by WarChiziken on Dec 4, 2009 2:58 PM EST reply actions
Admit it, the song choice was 100% so you could use the “Just follow me COLD STOOOOOOONE…” line.
by Scott on Dec 4, 2009 3:35 PM EST reply actions
“No (Jean) Shorts, No Losses” would have also been a solid choice.
by Scott on Dec 4, 2009 3:36 PM EST reply actions
The mass is, indeed, undoubted.
Here’s hoping that Marky M’s double-wide Escalade next takes him to an institution of higher learning located in the Krystal belt. Playboy gonna snarfle on Breakfast Scramblers.
by Trapper on Dec 4, 2009 3:39 PM EST reply actions
This year, we eat a bucket of fried chicken, biscuits, 4 sides, and a Diet Coke for you. Next year Marky M, life goes on.
by Brian O'Blivion on Dec 4, 2009 3:40 PM EST reply actions
“Like a sky full of titties lightin’ the night
They orbit this sun cause they respect the light”
Oh, bravo, Orson. Bravo.
by Ed Orgeron's Speech Therapist on Dec 4, 2009 3:51 PM EST reply actions
“what the hell happened to that wall over there?”
Oh, YEEEEAAHH!!!
by tzubear on Dec 4, 2009 3:57 PM EST reply actions
Rock Chalk Marky M ain’t balked…
See ya at Marshall, big guy.
by der schatten on Dec 4, 2009 4:08 PM EST reply actions
So…Strong to Louisville is a go? Anyone hear anything about this?
/threadjack
by JoeDawg on Dec 4, 2009 4:21 PM EST reply actions
There are no words to explain exactly how awesome this is….well, none that I could come up with- knowing y’all’s brilliance, you probably could.
by MikeLew on Dec 4, 2009 4:28 PM EST reply actions
I offer this piece of related material:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h9NiEQCQsI
by Kelly on Dec 4, 2009 4:37 PM EST reply actions
I for one will miss Rapping Mangino, and never forget the central thesis of his CV: “Get laid, get paid, make shade.”
by robert on Dec 4, 2009 4:46 PM EST reply actions
I wish a bassy, Kool-Aid Man-esque voice would yell “YEAAAAAHHHHH” every time I entered a room
Oh yeah, and this is awesome, youre awesome, etc. etc.
by NU Wildcat Offense on Dec 4, 2009 5:03 PM EST reply actions
He was my favorite coach, for two reasons. He fatter than me, and yall make great rhymes and photos of him.
by Big Nate on Dec 4, 2009 5:24 PM EST reply actions
In other news, Holly, I don’t know if you ever plan to do another corrections post, but the BEST.CORRECTION.EVAH was in the Washington Post yesterday.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/02/AR2009120201455.html
by Brian O'Blivion on Dec 4, 2009 5:49 PM EST reply actions
I love this line:
This verse in Spanish, you no comprendo
Only there was only one word in Spanish. CLASSIC Marky M
by tailgate shogun on Dec 4, 2009 6:32 PM EST reply actions
ALSO:
As Marky M is now unemployed, shouldn’t the Bone Thugs N Harmony song be “First of Tha Month”?
by tailgate shogun on Dec 4, 2009 6:34 PM EST reply actions
Mangino is one of those customers I’m sure Cinnabon workers hate, since his approach means they’re suddenly going to have to make a lot more cinnamon rolls to replace the ones he eats/absorbs
by Matt on Dec 4, 2009 7:40 PM EST reply actions
Top drawer! Right up there with “Giggity Hosanna on High” for the best of the year.
by JD on Dec 4, 2009 9:25 PM EST reply actions
I was wondering when Marky M would make his curtain call.
1,000 Cocktails to you, sir
by idahobuckeye on Dec 6, 2009 1:46 AM EST reply actions
I always figured Marky M as a Bojangles kinda guy, not Chick Fil A. Not enough grease at the latter.
by yoyofutbawl on Dec 6, 2009 2:53 PM EST reply actions
great work- the m is on to a better place where you can get sliders every day and beat missouri every year…poke that!
by linedrive on Dec 6, 2009 2:54 PM EST reply actions
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