“Last thing I want to do is come across as some kind of uninformed asshole, right?”

Too late Dollar Bill Doug. For any year.

I like how you think a Georgia fan is more dangerous than a scorned Swedish model wielding a golf club.

I’ll take the barking man holding a can of beer, thanks.

That Delta inflight instruction chick is smokin-hot.

No line on the GT/Clemson game? Smart move.

Either team would be a Risk Level 6, money wise.

A primary concern is that our DL is the walking dead at this point. Wommack will have to do a lot ( to help save his job) if he wants to contain Spiller.

Hopefully at least 2002 “dollar bill” doug didn’t insist on using that stupid nickname that he doesn’t deserve, and has no flow to boot.

OLS, I enjoy hearing that from anyone, but I enjoy it that much more hearing it from you.

@4 What would 2002 DBD know about the ACCCG? First one was in 2005. Oh, and Orson’s Love Slave needs to stop lobbying for a Hatorade bath; if your player’s don’t surprise you with it, you didn’t deserve it.

I lol’d at Risk Level 5.

I actually like the picks, particularly the Hawaii one. Plus, if Hawaii wins, they get a bowl game against their old coach and, bonus, it should shut Notre Dame out of the bowls whether they like it or not. I know emotion only goes so far when you’re overmatched, but one team is playing for a lot, and the other team is on a trip to Hawaii!

Somehow, after “Hi, everybody”, in my mind I read the entire piece in a really nasal, hi-pitched, geeky voice. Everything that I read by Doug will henceforth sound this way in my head.

A guy earns a billion dollars and look what he does! Once we find out the size of the check TW has to write to get out of this one, the risk level may be adjusted to a strong 5.

Tech is favored by 1 over Clempson in the Cripple Fight. As with South Park, it’s probably best to just stay away from that one.

@ Eer

I always pay attention to the Delta pre-flight video. Safety first.

Looks like you have a gaggle of haters who were dumb enough to take your gambling advice. (Dumb enough to take anyone’s gambling advice, really – once you start relying on anything other than your own research and intuition, you are fucked.)

I only go with the picks that somebody who claims to be famous shouts out of my local sports radio station.

I mean, if you’re making that much money on the spread, why not spread the love around right? Right?

OLS:

Christ almighty man, grow the fuck up. I bet you look forward to this column just so you can hate. What are you, the New York Times Blog Review?

ohiodawg -

We are about to find out the strength of the pre-nup that Tiger and Elin had and whether the court will deem it enough. Pre-nups always sound great, but I seem to always hear about them beiing broken in court. So I’m always wondering if they protect anyone besides the attorneys that put them together.

wait, you mean Dollar Bill Doug’s idiom was to make correct picks? I thought was a pilot for a new Dr. Drew show.

For the record, there are a number of Georgia fans I would like to punch in the face, and I could probably get away with it, and possibly even be cheered on by other Georgia fans in doing so. Even Georgia fans get annoyed by other Georgia fans. It’s just that bad.

Ohio State has covered a record 9 times this year. That alone makes this a crazy year.

@12 (Dumb enough to take anyone’s gambling advice, really – once you start relying on anything other than your own research and intuition, you are fucked.)

FTFY

There is no way in hell the Delta video was filmed on a real plane. Unless the video actors averaged 4 foot 6 in height, there was far too much headroom, legroom, seat width and aisle for any plane in their inventory.

Besides, the staff was friendly, the stewardesses hot and the drinks were served in 16 oz cups.

Riiiiiiiight. My BS filter was pegged within the first ten seconds.

Sullivan013

Re Risk Level 1:

I much prefer the Air New Zealand “Bare Essentials of Safety” video. For reasons that will be somewhat obvious. Kia ora, motherfuckers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-Mq9HAE62Y

I don’t think any ACCCG will top 2006. Pouring rain, clearly intoxicated Paul Maguire tearing around the field on a camera tower, Chan Gailey reaching equilibrium thanks to Wake Forest. Total scoring consisted of five field goals for a 9-6 thriller.

@3 – She’s the reason I fly Delta.

@21 Theenks fuh thet, mite.

golden Hand- Ok Padre.

If you think gambling is bad, your not doing it right. So keep trying.

The Delta gal’s cheekbones and lips don’t quite seem natural and kinda freak me out.

On the other hand, try telling me you don’t get even a little excited when she wags her finger at you…

maybe Tiger’s just fooling around because he is looking forward to making up with his wife… while she is laying on top of several thousand hundred dollar bills he has just tossed out

me, I think that may be the saddest case of “after a while it will get boring” I have ever heard

anyway…. Dollar Bill Doug…. how’s that single life working for ya? met any hotties over there in B’ham? lotta crazy nurses over there I hear

OH…and the female pilot at the end of the video was thermonuclear

I’ve had my share of gambling wins and losses, and I’ve learned one thing (well, more than one, but you get the point). When you see a spread like (-47), there’s someone who knows a lot more about this game than you do. More times than not, I’ve gone against the urge to take those points and won.

Also, I’m not in the habit of betting on teams that have lost to the likes of Louisiana Tech and Idaho, in any year. So no, I won’t be taking points with Hawaii either.

Thanks for reminding me of 2006. I thought I’d drunk the memory of that game into oblivion.

Never take a -40+!

Even your flight attendants wagging their fingers at me suggestively won’t get me to fly on your shitty airline, Delta!

@25. Gambling is fine, if you own the casino, or have a crack team of MIT card-counters on your side, but betting on sports is mostly just a matter of lighting money on fire. Too random, and what ain’t random is taken up by the point spread. Anybody who says he makes money after the spread and the vig is what we call a future bankrupt. Only college football game I ever bet on was Tech-Georgia in 2000, because that wasn’t exactly gambling (UGA was a 1-point favorite, because Dawg punters are stewwwwpid).

I can’t decide if the Delta chicks hot or just really fuckin weird looking.

@21 As soon as I saw the safety flight video, I knew someone was going to post the Air NZ video. It’s too bad there’s only one decently attractive girl in the video, and she’s about a 7. With the accent, she gets an 8. ;)

Hell, all oddsmakers are 58% anyway. Better odds than that are those that the stewardess in that video has enough silicone in her face to seal a lot of windows. Seriously, she looks like Shake from ATHF when he got plastic surgery.

@25 – Part of the “research and intuition” I mentioned involves having the intuition to know if you suck at gambling so you can stop.

I like the Hawaii pick, mostly because they need the win to be bowl eligible. And any MSU or NW fan from 2004 can tell you that when Hawaii needs a win to be bowl eligible in the islands, they will get it, one way or another.

Why did you post the safety video? I watched that entire thing thinking “any minute now there’ll be a punch line”, but there’s no punch line! There’s no punch line!

@34: She’s both, dude. Weirdly hot. Not like your buddy’s mom in seventh grade, but alien weird. Make sme think of Donald Fagen’s “Tomorrow’s Girls”: They’re mixing with the population / A virus wearing pumps and pearls / Lord help the lonely guys / Hooked by those hungry eyes

A.) The new zeland girl is hawt as shite, and the accent makes her not an 11, but a 12. The CG bodies are
are creepy as fuck though.

B.) I’d be worried about this game if I were Wisconsin, because sometimes teams that don’t look all that imposing can jump right up and bite you in the rear end. Take Georgia’s upcoming game against Georgia Tech, for instance. Now, I know we’re 10-1 and they’ve been struggling to a 7-4 record, but I’m worried about those guys — I’m sure they want revenge for us breaking their win streak last year, and that Chan Gailey guy is someone I’m nervous about, him coming from the NFL and all.

you are a terrible person for this

I really enjoyed the SECCG pick

Point spreads are for suckers. I only pick winners not this cover bullshit.

1. I second the remark that 2006 ACC championship game was the worst game Ive ever been to. It was indeed cold, wet, and dismal.

2. @41 – Its not CG, its paint.

3. I concur with most, slightly intrigued but utterly confused by Delta safety lady.

I’d fuck any one of those kiwi broads.

That is all.

Couple name for Tim Tebow/Britney Spears?

Titney? Brim?

@45 the blond one from the beginning looks like a man. otherwise thumbs up.

Also, the blond in this one gives me approximately 600 bonerz:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnhVcD74i14&feature=response_watch

@21 – Apparently I have lower standards than the model-nailing studs hereabouts because I’d move to New Zealand solely on the basis of the parting shot of the brunette.

The Delta stewardess is weird looking. If I was talking to her, I would have to constantly remind myself not to stare at her cheeks. I’m surprised she is the woman they chose as the face of the airline for that video.