FLORIDA/ALABAMA: LET'S SETTLE IT WITH ROCKET LAUNCHERS

Who cares? Auburn’s going to the Outback Bowl!

http://blog.al.com/goldmine/2009/12/auburn_set_to_play_in_outback.html

“as in some unseen kink of SEC rules requiring the game to be decided by a coach-on-coach rocket launcher duel at the 50 yard line”

Ah yes, good old 17(a)(4)©:

“If 4 overtime periods elapse, after touchdowns both teams must attempt a two point conversion. If 8 overtime periods elapse, the game shall be settled by a duel to the death between the coaches at the 50 yard line, using any heavy ordinance of their choosing.”

What mossy green reptilian balderdash.

Everyone knows Nick Saban’s death ray lasers emanate forth from his eyes. Thus, he needeth not a stinking RPG launcher.

And Julio is Dark Vader [sic] in the flesh.

But we love the little filigree design on the shoulders of those new Nike unis, though. You are the boys from old Florida!

In the south, it used to be “Pistols at dawn, good sir.”

Now its “Guided Explosives right now, bitch.”

times, they are a changin’

yeah, like saban would leave his flank exposed like that. there’s no chance he wouldn’t drop a defensive end into the flat to cover that zone.

/zone blitz reference

Ah, Invasion USA. A classic 80’s schlock fest if there ever was one. Some of Chuck’s best work, no doubt.

I am most certainly counting the days until Rolando McClain rips Meyer’s arm off at the shoulder and beats Tebow with the wet end of it.

Spikes haunts Rolando’s dreams every night. Because he can.

Wow, what a small world. Do you know Jason Brueck, Orson? I’ve gotten drunk with his brother more times than I can count.

I’ll take the Laws’ rocket scene where Clint blows the asshole up in the guard tower at Alcatraz.

Unfortunately, it’s Mangino in the tower and it explodes harmlessly in the folds of his gut.

@ 3 / Grampaw Fug:

For the record, we think that the new Spider-Man unis are ghey. When I saw them in the bookstore after the FIU game I actually asked the clerk “You are kidding, right?” But unfortunately it’s not a joke.

I wish Phil Knight would stop at the borders of Oregon with his asinine uniform tinkering. DO. NOT. WANT.

kids, don’t shoot off RPGs indoors unless you know there are fire-proof window drapes.

Sorry, but I think that scene more accurately portrays the recent meeting between Meyer and Carlos Dunlap…

So Saban is essentially Oddjob or the second Moonraker Elite? If that’s the case, Urbs will go with proximity mines throughout the Georgia Dome, and perhaps the city of Atlanta.

We’re going to need a “Nick Saban is not tall” tag before the week is out.

ClwFlGator @ 10:

By gum, my Gator tovarisch, we can agree on that. Par example, the Bayou Bengals wearing white breeches on a Saturday night is a sin against nature, and that Missouri drab design made me want to vomick. Contra: I admit that many of those who went dancing in new stuff came out victors, albeit a little too “valiant” to suit me.

It’s four minutes to twelve, and there’s a madman at the wheel. Cure: Play action to Upchurch.