BOBBY BOWDEN RETIRES IN FOUR PARTS
by Orson on Dec 1, 2009 1:08 PM EST
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PrintI.
You can leave. It's possible at any instant. Leaving is about the timing: the act itself is neutral, and harmless. It is the timing. Leave a baby at college and you will be charged with negligence. Leave him or her there 18 years later, and you are doing your job. Step out of a plane at the right moment and you are doing what millions of people every day. Do it at the wrong moment, and you plunge thousands of feet to a spectacular death.
Timing is all. If Bobby Bowden had not been sick during his childhood, he might not have had the formative experience of laying in bed and listening to Alabama football. If he had taken the Marshall job, he would have died in the 1970 plane crash killing Thundering Herd coach Mark Tolley and 37 members of the Marshall football team. If he does not take the Florida State job and stays at West Virginia the threads get even more obscure. Georgia never sees Mark Richt. Major Harris wins the Heisman. Joe Paterno and Bowden share even closer historical quarters due to the now-extinct WVU/Penn State rivalry and the games they would have played in the series. Bowden goes elsewhere with variant results in unseen parallel histories.
Timing is everything.
If he had left years ago, this would be less than a formality or a hostage situation fought with contracts, timed clauses, and the swipes of legal pens. It would have been a man leaving on his own terms. That is timing. It turns lazy drives into fiery car wrecks and chance encounters into families. Respect it, or even fear it, but do not ignore it out of some inflated assumption of your own importance. The sun's coming up tomorrow with or without you, and doesn't care whether it meets your smiling face or bleached, dead bones. Both will do just fine for the sun.
II.
The Punterooskie, probably Bowden's most infamous playcall, was astonishing timing: random, out-of-the-blue timing of the most calculated brilliance, a high school trick play gone haywire for a game-changing score in the 1988 Clemson game. Forget about his coaching acumen, and you forget what got him to the height that age and nepotism dragged him down from in the first place. You forget the veer option notes he gave to Marshall's staff during the rebuilding of the Herd's program, and the viciously timed trick plays, and the simple emphasis on fundamentals making Florida State both nasty and nastily disciplined throughout their 80s/90s heyday.
You forget the Bandit package and his continuing tinkering with the offense earlier in his career; you forget his keen eye for talent. He was no innovator, but he knew talent, and he knew weakness when he saw it. Forget all of this, and you forgot why he leaves a shadow of his former self--i.e., the figure that cast the shadow in the first place. That figure was formidable, and indisputably ballsy when it mattered. Were it not for a few kickers, he might be looking at a few more national titles on the sheet of accomplishments that obscures the diminished figure that will announce his retirement today.
III.
He still fits the mold laid out by Lane Kirkland for Jimmy Carter: "He is your typical smiling, brilliant, back-stabbing, bullshitting southern nut-cutter." No one can schmooze boosters or the media more adroitly; if you doubt it, compare the long criminal record of Florida State's players during their heyday with Miami's less impressive resume, examine their reputations, and then compare. Bowden built an empire around his own cult of personality, the kind of cult that in certain locales gets bronze statues of you erected outside a stadium. The program's identity stemmed from him, and him first. The field bears his name, and he stands in relief pointing the way towards the future outside it.
He fulfilled the other part of the description, too. Merciless beatings of inferior opponents became the norm for Florida State in the 1990s. The preferential treatment he extended to his sons--a tendency ultimately hastening his downfall at Florida State--did not extend to the field, where he defeated his own son with an alpha dog vengeance by a 5-1 margin, including 48-3 and 54-7 annihilations of son Tommy Bowden's Clemson teams.
Bowden also cut immense slack for his players, who played the role of athlete with a dash of presumptive student. Deion Sanders in his final year at Florida State allegedly attended nothing resembling a class. Sebastian Janikowski rewrote the book on booze-fueled collegiate escapades, and Bowden retorted that he was playing "under Warsaw rules." Players frequently skated through discipline cases with little more than extra stadium steps.
At his most charming, this was a mere wink in the direction of Florida State's status as semi-pro team attached to a university, followed by a genial cackle. At his least charming and most ill-advised, it was Bowden writing a letter of support for convicted serial rapist Michael Gibson, a former FSU player who shot, raped, and robbed a Tallahassee woman in 1993. He made mistakes, and often the same ones over and over again, like relying on his demonstrably inept son Jeff Bowden and many old reliables on his coaching staff who, toward the end, were more old than they were reliable. With age, he did something his teams did not do until recently: he lost a step.
IV.
It is so very, very odd to consider Bowden stepping down not because of what it means, but because of its complete lack of meaning for us. When he goes, he won't leave behind a distinct institutional legacy at Florida State like Joe Paterno leaves. There is the stadium, and the individual lives he touched, but ultimately Bobby Bowden leaves as merely a football coach, albeit one of the best football coaches of his time.
He never pretended to be anything else, had no grand ideas outside of that. He never ran for office like Tom Osborne, or showed the vagabond itchiness of Holtz, or struck a fearsome cultural pose like Bear Bryant. He did not change football with the wishbone like Darrell Royal did. He did not glory in the role of being a gridiron Lucifer like a Spurrier, or insist on being called "Professor" like Woody Hayes did at Ohio State in hornrims, short sleeves, and a tie. Even to hated rivals, all of these strike some kind of resonance as being something more than a coach.
Iconography like this doesn't hang on Bobby Bowden. In his prime he was a guy in a windbreaker and various ill-fitting hats, a brilliant coach, and little more past that for college football. Even for Florida fans, who long despised the man and attributed impossible and evil deeds to his every action, this ends with a whimper. Ultimately, it's hard to revel in the demise of a villain if the villain was merely doing his job, albeit doing it very, very well, which is what he was at his best: a manager, an architect, and a builder working tirelessly to perfect the machine. This makes the end even stranger, since the man confused his small, mortal self for the thing he built. He is not the first. He won't be the last.
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All bullshit aside: this deserves recognition. I haven’t read a more cogent analysis of the Bowden situation to date. Well written, sir. You may now return to your normal buffooonery.
by Go Big Rev on Dec 1, 2009 1:25 PM EST reply actions
I despised Bowden in the 80’s and 90’s, especially his “aww shucks” persona. Now I feel kind of sorry for him. Kind of. And only a teensy bit.
by Stockman on Dec 1, 2009 1:42 PM EST reply actions
i wonder if/how perception of Bowden will change 15 years from now… perhaps we will look back later on him in the same retrospective fondness that we do Bo, McKay, ect… and that our opinions now are shaped by precisely that, the here and now
by beckett929 on Dec 1, 2009 1:52 PM EST reply actions
I hope you write my eulogy. Well done. You have demonstrated again why this is the ultimate blog on the interwebs and ebays.
by Crabapple Buck on Dec 1, 2009 1:52 PM EST reply actions
17-18-1 career record versus Florida. Have a nice retirement.
by Brian O'Blivion on Dec 1, 2009 1:52 PM EST reply actions
Three snaps and a nod in your direction, Orson, from the great Northwest.
by Wrath of Caan on Dec 1, 2009 1:54 PM EST reply actions
“The sun’s coming up tomorrow with or without you, and doesn’t care whether it meets your smiling face or bleached, dead bones. Both will do just fine for the sun.”
So true, but it does hurt the ol’ ego a bit. Like Calvin (and Hobbes)shouting at the universe…“I AM SOMEBODY!”, then thinking to himself “said the insignificant speck.”
Great writing—like #2 said—it’s why I visit this site
by A Bullet from Burger on Dec 1, 2009 1:58 PM EST reply actions
Were it not for a few kickers…
I think, to be fair to him, it wasn’t just a few kickers. Remember who the kickers were kicking against. The man played UF and UM every year. He could have followed Spurrier’s cowardly lead and opted out of the UM game, and probably could even have persuaded alums to opt out of the UF game if he’d wanted to. If he had, he’d have a lot more titles. Instead, he had the balls to say ‘sure, UF and UM in the regular season? bring it on, motherfuckers.’ It cost him some games and some titles, but if nothing else I respect him for that.
(Of course, if those kicks had stayed true I’d hate him with the burning passion of a thousand suns. It is easy to be gracious when ‘wide right’ is one of the most joyful, repeated memories of your childhood…)
by tieguy on Dec 1, 2009 2:04 PM EST reply actions
This is the best analysis of Bowden I’ve seen. It is some of your best writing too, up there with your piece on the death of Avery Atkins. Bravo, sir.
by msgfree on Dec 1, 2009 2:12 PM EST reply actions
Timing is everything; Bowden was mired in mediocrity, in the midst of a bunch of 3 and4 loss seasons and losing 6 straight to Florida, when fellow Bear Bryant Disciples Charley Pell and Mickey Andrews lay waste to the UF program, hamstringing it with severe NCAA punishment that was only ever exceeded by SMU. On those ashes, and with the helping hand of refugee Andrews, Bowden’s FSU program as we knew it was built, a southern independent outside of any conference affiliation to turn them in, taking the bounty of Floridian recruits the TV-less Gators couldn’t entice. So many NFL quality players in the program by 1989, it became a runaway train. He was “brilliant” only in his ability to keep his program afloat despite his rather obvious outlaw program.
Praying for midemeanors, playing guys who were sleeping in jail, a program so full of ruffians that not one but two kickers (Janakowski and Bentley) managed to really run afoul of the law, where an All-American QB recruit blows himself up on steroids and then literally blows himself up in his dorm room, where the next QB is found wondering through Tallahassee without any clothes on on a shroom bender from Bonaroo, where the one after that has a serious gambling problem. But totally above-the-NCAA and newspaper scrutiny because Bobby sweet-talks the press. Amazing.
by Gone Gator on Dec 1, 2009 2:12 PM EST reply actions
Well done Spencer Hall. Love him or hate him, dadgummit, anyone who goes 12 straight years at #4 or better is one helluva coach. He inherited a shitty stadium and a crap ass program he built up from scratch along with Hootie Ingram’s help. He’d go on the road to play anyone without a home rematch in his first few seasons, which meant getting pummeled by USC, Nebraska, et al, unmercifully.
Was at the Puntrooskie game, about 15 rows up on the 10 yard line looking right at it and couldn’t figure out what the hell had happened until Butler was at midfield.
Greatest call of all time.
by yoyofutbawl on Dec 1, 2009 2:12 PM EST reply actions
@12 Florida State was playing both Miami and UF well before Bowden got there. So he didn’t exactly say “bring it on”, he just played them like they had been doing. So I guess he gets credit for not dropping them. FSU also CHOSE to play in the ACC, so they had a pretty easy road besides those two games.
by Brian O'Blivion on Dec 1, 2009 2:13 PM EST reply actions
Cocktails to you, Orson, and chilled applesauce to Bobby.
by Cubehead on Dec 1, 2009 2:48 PM EST reply actions
One thread that I still cannot divine my true feelings about: What if Bama had offered in ’86 instead of to Curry?
One thing I do know my feelings about: I believe Bowden was actually a better coach when he ran the offense. After he handed off the playcalling duties, the whole enterprise became rather Snopsian.
Thanks for the writing, Orson—that was distilled brilliance.
by Counter Trap on Dec 1, 2009 2:50 PM EST reply actions
“the long criminal record of Florida State’s players during their heyday "
JANORIS JENKINS – Misdemeanor affray and resisting arrest without violence
MARQUIS HANNAH – Felony burglary of an occupied dwelling & misdemeanor battery
CARL JOHNSON – Misdemeanor violation of a sexual restraining
RILEY COOPER – Misdemeanor resisting an officer and failure to comply
CAM NEWTON – Felony counts of burglary, larceny and obstruction of justice
JACQUES RICKERSON – Misdemeanor possession of marijuana in February 2007.
JACQUES RICKERSON – Felony domestic violence by strangulation
TORREY DAVIS – Misdemeanor knowingly driving with a suspended license
JAMAR HORNSBY – misdemeanor property damage and criminal mischief in April 2007
JAMAR HORNSBY – Felony unauthorized use of a credit card to obtain goods and services
JERMAINE CUNNINGHAM – Misdemeanor battery
TONY JOINER – Felony theft
RONNIE WILSON – Aggravated assault, battery and display of a concealed weapon during commission of a felony. Misdemeanor possession of marijuana.
DUSTIN DOE – Misdemeanor affray and resisting arrest
DORIAN MUNROE – Felony theft
JOHN CURTIS – Misdemeanor violation of probation in May 2007
BRANDON JAMES – Purchasing marijuana — a felony..
AVERY ATKINS – Misdemeanor domestic battery
LOUIS MURPHY – Misdemeanor possession of marijuana
JON DEMPS – Misdemeanor driving with a suspended license
DAWAYNE GRACE – Misdemeanor charges of battery and theft
CARLOS DUNLAP – DUI
by Guava Steve on Dec 1, 2009 3:10 PM EST reply actions
Hello, single issue voter! Congratulations on confusing topics!
by Orson Swindle on Dec 1, 2009 3:13 PM EST reply actions
#12, I would have let it lay but for the “cowardly” adjective –
say what you will about Florida’s excuses for not playing Miami (whether real or imagined), one of Spurrier’s pre-conditions to taking the Florida job was getting Miami back on the schedule (note that the annual series stopped 3 years before he got to Florida), a move which was in the works until the SEC expanded to 12 teams. Throw blame wherever you will, but to lay it on Spurrier is just perpetuating ignorance.
by Ltrain on Dec 1, 2009 3:16 PM EST reply actions
Excellent writing Orson.
I do wonder, though, Chaos Theory being what it is, if Bobby had taken the Marshall job would there have been a small number of changes that built up to them taking a different plane that night (or going a different night, or playing a different team that week). And yes, there’s the “what if he took the Bama job in ’86” thing. If Ronnie Cottrell is any example, Bowden would have been fired in disgrace when the NCAA came down on him, because apparently the rules you can break in Tallahassee you can’t get away with breaking in Tuscaloosa.
@ #12… if FSU hadn’t played Miami and Florida every year, they’d have been Boise State. The ACC was even worse in the 90’s than it is now.
by PeterPumpkinhead on Dec 1, 2009 3:26 PM EST reply actions
I know you are orange and blue, Orson, but you and other gator track-backers can’t see the cheap shots in your “eulogy.” The assumptions that FSU played inferior competition in the 90s, or that the police blotter was any longer than UF’s or Miami’s — way way off. With regard to the latter, you seem to revel in the old Cane stories anyway with your endless promotion of “The U” (December 9th everybody!). There is some merit and objectivity in your post, but this mostly comes off as written by somebody who had the 90s ruined for them by Bobby Bowden.
by vmijohn on Dec 1, 2009 3:31 PM EST reply actions
Not objective in anyway, and never have been. We won’t miss the man for an instant, but he is important, and that should be noted. “The U” debuts on December 12th, by the way.
by Orson Swindle on Dec 1, 2009 3:41 PM EST reply actions
The assumptions that FSU played inferior competition in the 90s — way way off.
Outside of the games against Miami and Florida, who were outside their conference, it was. The ACC was flat out terrible in the 90’s. FSU joined in 1992, and from 1992-2000 in their heyday the ACC never had another team even finish in the top 5 in the final AP poll. Only 3 other teams even finished in the top 10 during that span. It was FSU and a bunch of basketball schools, until they expanded to bring in the Big East teams.
by Brian O'Blivion on Dec 1, 2009 4:05 PM EST reply actions
Only Shakespeare or Kipling could have done it better, Orson.
The tragedy of King Lear with Jimbo Fisher as both Cordelia and the Fool,….or Gunga Bobby.
“The weight of this sad time we must obey;
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.
The oldest hath borne most: we that are young
Shall never see so much, nor live so long.”
or——————-
“So I’ll meet ‘im later on
At the place where ’e is gone —
Where it’s always double drill and no canteen;
’E’ll be squattin’ on the coals
Callin’ plays for poor damned souls,
An’ I’ll get a swing pass in hell from Gunga Bobby!
Yes, Bobby! Bobby! Bobby!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Bobby!
Though I’ve belted you and flayed you,
By the livin’ Gawd that made you,
You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Bobby!
Bayette, Bobby. I’ll forever curse you and Dieon for the uncalled interference in the 1989 Sugar Bowl, but you still earned a place at the top of the pile of ‘quality coaches’.
Sullivan013
by sullivan013 on Dec 1, 2009 4:11 PM EST reply actions
Thank you, Orson, for the brilliantly written piece. Love him or hate him, Bobby Bowden was important to college football and that should be noted. He was even more important to your UF Gators as the “worthy adversary” against which you could truly measure your own prowess. I was saddened to watch the decline of his program over the last half-decade.
by SC_Eer on Dec 1, 2009 4:19 PM EST reply actions
Excellent post.
I was forced to watch Bowden and FSU because of a father’s ill-advise adoration dating back to bobby’s WVU days. I even wore a shirt reading “Future Nole” only later to become a die-hard Gator because grades and test scores separate the youthful folly of football allegiance from academic prowess. That said, I will miss the man.
Of course as a UF student during Bowden’s heyday (1997-2000), I will also always maintain that Bowden shakes babies and slaps old women when the cameras are off. Nevertheless, may the man retire in peace with his family of broken coaches.
Too vitriolic? If so while I am at it, I would like to congratulate Miami on successfully beating both participants in the palindrome bowl. May your success come full of misaligned ingratitude for us letting you score 1971.
by Mockingbird on Dec 1, 2009 4:22 PM EST reply actions
I think the most remarkable thing about this post is the observation that FSU Football and Bobby Bowden were one and the same, and as Bowden went so too did the program. An Ozymandias for our time…
by wfguiteau on Dec 1, 2009 4:40 PM EST reply actions
@25-
You kid, right? Florida football was far from ruined in the 90’s by Bowden or anyone else for that matter. Most Gator fans look upon the 90s in a rather favorable light.
And rudimentary reading comprehension skills allows anyone, Gator faithful included, to determine that there are some well positioned jabs in this send-off to a long-time foe. Internet gold star for you today, good sir, for pointing them out to the rest of us less sophisticated readers such as yourself.
by Irwin Fletcher on Dec 1, 2009 4:44 PM EST reply actions
Orson, truly great. Like they’ve said, truly one of your best.
You encapsulated the past several years absolutely perfectly in your countdown two years ago with Shelley:
…And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
by theAg20 on Dec 1, 2009 4:44 PM EST reply actions
Pretty good article. I do find it amusing to read how we supposedly beat down inferior competition in the 90s, as if that’s all we played. I used to regularly show my gator friends in the 90s how our strength of schedule outranked theirs almost every year. This was usually in response to them saying we played an easy schedule. We regularly had the top ranked schedule in the nation, in the 90s.
Also, the SEC was not what it is today back then. Florida was about the only consistently good team and they rolled through the SEC almost every year and then we would beat them. For our first 6 years or so in the ACC, UF’s SEC record was nearly identical to our ACC record. There were usually at least 2 or 3 schools in the ACC that fielded decent teams (top 15 or so) and we also played quality competition out of conference.
Regarding the legal issues, UF has no room to talk there. Their list of legal issues is at least as long as ours, if not longer. It is also still being added to. Dunlap anyone?
by James on Dec 1, 2009 5:02 PM EST reply actions
speaking of things going downhill,
the killers’ christmas song was playing on tv as I read that.
they turned sucky so fast it’s mindblowing.
And if he had come to Alabama in 1986, we probably would have forced him out around the same time we forced Stallings out. (’96)
Just my opinion.
by Kecalf Bailey on Dec 1, 2009 5:05 PM EST reply actions
Excellent piece, thousands of cocktails, etc. etc. I had a sideline pass (as well as a nice seat in the OSU section) for the 1997 Sugar Bowl, and I’m not sure who was scarier, the FSU players or the OSU fans. BTW, Emory Bellard invented the wishbone, or at least brought it to the college game.
by starkvegas on Dec 1, 2009 5:11 PM EST reply actions
Damn fine work, Orson, and I thank you for it.
by NativeSon on Dec 1, 2009 5:13 PM EST reply actions
Love my footbaw with Ozymandias, Phlebas, Fuck Lions, Sootcase Midgets and Wilford Brimley Bukkake parties. Great work as usual, Orson.
by sonofsamford on Dec 1, 2009 5:25 PM EST reply actions
A barrel of rum to you fine sir. Well written…
by Hash Slinger on Dec 1, 2009 6:31 PM EST reply actions
#37,
Your point is fine until your second paragraph when you get wildly offtrack. Yes, FSU’s strength of schedule was regularly quite high, but it was almost completely due to out of conference scheduling, namely, UM, UF, and frequently a very strong third team (Notre Dame, for example).
To say the SEC was weak in the 90’s because Florida won it more often than not is ludicrous. Alabama won a NC in ‘92, Auburn went undefeated in ’94, Florida won it in ’96, and UTenn won in ’98. That’s 4 different national championship caliber teams from one conference in a seven year span. All of these teams spent more time in the top 10 during the 90’s than the entire ACC spent in the top 20 (I’m not going to dig up the numbers, but you get the point). Don’t forget the additional conference championship game.
Again, I’m not challenging the fact that FSU frequently had a fairly difficult schedule. It was, however, not because of the ACC.
by Ltrain on Dec 1, 2009 7:31 PM EST reply actions
Well done. Poignant yet gruff, like pausing for an instant over a dead comrade’s body before rifling through his pockets for much-needed provisions . . .
That being said, none of this changes Urban Meyer -————> Notre Dame.
Urban Meyer is a werewolf!
by Rick "Doc" Walker on Dec 1, 2009 7:58 PM EST reply actions
The only nit I’d pick is on institutional legacy. Nobody matches JoePa on that, so the hat must be tipped there, but to your average non-Floribaman, what was Florida State before Bobby Bowden? What value changing — I might even say creating — the national perception of a school?
by JoshC on Dec 1, 2009 8:54 PM EST reply actions
Great words for a great coach…I hope he goes on ESPN to give it that Loony Toons combo of Foghorn Leghorn Bowden vs Sylvester the cat Holthz feel to it…the possibilities are endless..oh, thanks to Dunlap for much needed running room for Ingram in SECCG…….WOoooooOHooOOOoOo
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Dec 1, 2009 9:36 PM EST reply actions
@JoshC
Not a FSU fan, but if we matched Bowden’s teams vs. JoePa over the shared coaching lifespan, FSU wins 2/3rds of those games. Now probably Joe Pa will be remembered in a more favorable light, but in terms of one program dominating 20 years of football, FSU was a beast.
by meatybob on Dec 1, 2009 11:36 PM EST reply actions
And there’s no Pulitzer for blogs? I’ll be damned. You will not read a better dead-tree retrospective than this, nor more accurate.
by Vandy J on Dec 2, 2009 12:33 AM EST reply actions
@ 47- brilliant vision. i’d pay $$$ to see some “ah say ah say / sthufferin’ sthukotashth”.
by thetennesseethumper on Dec 2, 2009 9:12 AM EST reply actions
Jeez-o-pete but you do write well.
You should think about the long term and get to work on the Great American Novel, like lickity-split.
by Bill Spears on Dec 2, 2009 2:17 PM EST reply actions
That is water under the bridge I am more interested in who Fisher brings in as our new defensive coordinator.
Only a gator would refer to FSU as an outlaw program. The Mayhem under Spurrier alone tops anything FSU
ever did. That is leaving out Pell, Galen Hall and Meyer who broke all records for a two year period.
by DocHoliday on Dec 2, 2009 2:48 PM EST reply actions
It is a sad day when even at a man’s retirement, you can’t help a man go out with dignity. Troubling that you feel the need to kick a man while he is down, due to what the University and the trustees did by kicking him out. I hope for your sake that when you retire, they don’t write a post bringing up all of your faults and showing your bad side. What a negative way to be.
I find it amusing that you would write such a piece in a journalistic bullying, kick someone while they are down, fashion and remain anonymous.
One of these days I would hope that you would learn to tell someone’s story in an objective respectful manner. Maybe it would be different if it was someone who you admired.
by Logan on Dec 25, 2009 9:14 PM EST reply actions
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