Nick Saban does not have time for this shit thread

Ah, ND coaching search. Down the rabbit hole we go.

Somewhere on that board, there is a poster claiming that Urban is coming to ND because his friend at Florida saw Shelley buying a coat at the mall. If that’s true, I might advise her that while denim does a decent job of keeping out the winds howling across the barren wastelands of Michiana, camouflage would be more in keeping with the fashion scene of South Bend.

There is no way we’ll catch all the excellence rolling around on Irish boards today. Depending on the hustle of all you angels. Make us proud.

1. Urban Meyer to ND
2. Nick Saban to Michigan
3. Willie Martinez to Alabama
4. Ted Roof to Florida
5. Charlie Strong to Auburn as DC
6. ???
7. Profit!

It’s not a question of whether Meyer stays or goes, it’s will the spread offense work in the Catholic Church?

Saban will keep crushing Vol hopes on and off the field.

Urban’s not THAT catholic, is he?

Les Miles to Notre Dame…maybe…no….Ok…damn.

FOX NEWS UPDATE URGENT URGENT URGENT

Vegas odds on Stoops becoming the next ND coach down to 10/1 from 20/1 last weeks. No more bets will be accepted. It’s Stoops!

I like this post from the ND board:

Look at the kind of players he has on his teams. ND
by BAC69 (2009-11-23 14:08:56)
Edited on 2009-11-23 14:10:25
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In reply to: You don’t think he would be high on ND’s list? posted by emd811

won’t tolerate many of these people. People have posted numerous times on this board about his players firing guns, holding up stores, etc. If they aren’t in jail, he will play them; at ND they wouldn’t be at ND. We suspend a guy because he had some sort of driving offense while he was on Christmas break—not ever at school. Weis lost two top level tight ends to transfers because they broke the University rules. He was an assistant coach at ND so he understands the situation; hence he won’t come, even if asked. Do you seriously think Meyer would be a good fit at ND?

Ed was inconsolable.

This has already been a banner week for coaches lying their asses off. Just saying.

I don’t think the lunatic fringe is ever as apparent as it is when the coaching carousel cranks up.

Seriously though. Meyer’s not going anywhere.

Hey Notre Dame, how about helping out an old altar boy here? Take Brian Kelly and his whole staff out of Cincinatti. It would be greatly appreciated.

Yes. We posted that picture because we’re implying Saban to Notre Dame. Bingo. Code, cracked.

I really think that Brian Kelly would be a better fit for Notre Dame……please?

Let’s see…Gator team trying to repeat as National Champs…media stirring up speculation about the ehad coach leaving for a place where he used to be an assistant coach.

I like how this turned out last time, so…carry on.

ALPAHBEETIKAL??/?///?

Charlie Weis is ‘too big to fail’

Christ. If ND backs up a Brinks truck, I mean, literally backs up a truck full of $100 bills and starts shoveling money at Meyer with a forklift, he is not taking this job. Fuck, he didn’t want the job five years ago and that was before he won two MNCs at Florida. Brian Kelly? Sure. Gary Patterson? Long shot, but maybe. Bob Stoops? Now you’re just being an asshole. Urban Meyer? Shouldn’t you be writing a manifesto connecting Obama’s father, the Tri-Partite Commission, the UN, Atlantis and Kentucky Fried Chicken’s 11 herbs and spices to Sept. 11? Dumb fucking asshole.

ALPABEETIKAL///

Srry, thut prev komint unpublicked

DaCoachO is born to go to ND.

Come on guys, don’t you all pay attention. Obviously ND’s coaching ranks will look like this next year:
HC: Urban
OC: Brian Kelly
DC: Bob Stoops
Pregame Pep talk giver: Lou Holtz
Halftime Pep talk giver: Knute Rockne

It’s clearly true, my old roomate’s, ex-girlfriend’s brother had a class with a guy who’s dad met a guy at a party who’s daughter worked in the AD’s office who confirmed it.

Why hasn’t Schnelly gotten a mention yet?

Did Not Know That Dept:

Wow, Lou Saban has man-boobs.

Who’d of thunk it.

What would be mucho funny would be for Brian Kelly to turn down the job after getting a close look at ND’s situation, facilities, etc., figuring he has a better chance at a MNC at Cincinnati. MUCHO funny.

I understand George O’Leary is tanned, rested and ready. And he can wear Weis’ hand-me-downs.

@20 I cant imagine Patterson going to Notre Dame, he has a lifetime job here and the pick of the litter in terms of UT and OU rejects. Plus, TCU picks up kids too stupid for UT, and that’s really fucking stupid.

I second the motion that the Irish can get O’Leary back anytime they want him for cheap.

I’m patiently waiting to hear what that ginger fella that spotlights on here sometimes has to say about all this ND talk. What’s his name again? Tommy Flanigan or something?

Tubberville.

Wait 2 yrs then the transition team to get Paul Johnson out of GTech will be ready

ND Stare Down Dept:

How about Kelly vs Peterson in a Staredown* contest. Loser takes ND job.

• Staredown contest, similar to the Cal-Stanford one they do each year during the funny named “Big Game”. That was the funniest thing I saw Saturday. (((( Les Miles blowing it was a close second. what a Joker.)))

The rumor du jour this weekend was ’Kelly’s at Notre Dame He’s in the fucking Grotto." Ok, I made up the Grotto part, but there you have it.

If you’re Kelly, don’t you wait a year to see if Rich Rod is in as far over his head as he appears, then see if you can’t get the (much, much better) Michigan job?

In the meantime, you don’t have to be the 5th coach in something like 8 years at ND, you can coach what should be an even better UC team next year, you’re a hero in Cincinnati (meh) and you shake down the UC administration for a little more coin.

I’m not sure coaches at the top of their game are dying to go to ND. If you’re stretching (e.g. Davie and willingham), I get it. Kelly has other options.

It’s Tommy Kilborne – ND Law student. Talk about art imitating life.

While we are throwing around names: Pete O’Carroll???

Paul Johnson ain’t Catholic, and his main priority seems to be having the best job closest to western North Carolina. I don’t see him going anywhere for a loooong time. Maybe Tennessee after they get tired of Kiffykins, but those people really like throwing the ball.

Comment #18 is your thread winner. I suggested around this time last year that Notre Dame see if they could unload Weis’s buyout on the feds as part of the TARP.

Why not Paul Johnson to ND right now. Since ND won’t come off the academic standards and is handcuffing itself when it comes to recruiting top tier Defensive talent why not get a guy who’s Defensive philosophy is to control the ball for 55 minutes a game.
Also, how much longer must we wait for a new top 25 ballot from Dr. Schnelly, PHD in fine men’s haberdashery?

So you’re tellin’ me there’s a chance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qULSszbA-Ek

OhPleaseOhPleaseOhPleaseOhPlease, Let it be Will Mushchamp!

Can you imagine the image of Touchdown Jesus with the audio of “BOOM Mutherf*cker!” on the pre-game video?

/going to hell, I know*

Sullivan013

*Actually, as an ex-Cav Scout, I’m already on my way to hell. I’m only planning to stop by Fiddler’s Green for a quick one,…

Sullivan013

ND is interested in Saban bc he has a long history of success at schools with strict academic requirements.

George O’Leary is taking classes at NYU-Stoneybrook as we speak to finally get that degree and take his rightful position at the ND head coach.

@Golden Hand – George O’Leary is getting his resume ready as we speak

Rumors are true… ND is NOT interested in Gene Cheezik…

#41: ND is interested in Saban because he has a long history of turning around programs with incompetent ADs.

Yes. #18 does win the thread. I can add to 37 recommending advocating for TARP funds. But in the case of Charlie Weis, the funds will be used to purchase actual tarps, which will then be sewn into clothing for him.

YHIHF (you heard it here first): Randy Edsall, from connecticut.

Paull Johnson is clearly the best thing that could possibly happen to ND right now, but it won’t. So why not go for the next best thing, PJ’s protege, Ken Niumatalolo. You’d also be performing a if-you-can’t-beat-them-hire-them at the same time. Win-win.

Jack Del Rio will hold a press conference any moment now announcing that he is not a candidate for the Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Florida, Alabama or Texas jobs.

Del Rio’s daughter goes to LSU….just saying.

What might have been

http://i.cnn.net/si/si_online/covers/images/2002/0930_large.jpg

Tim Tebow will be the coach of Notre Dame in 2010.

Day 1: conversion to Southern Baptists
Day 2: discussions about life and family
Days 3 to 79: bulk up in weight room
Day 80: practice Tebow Smash

Mix the two front runners and what do you get? Brian Johnson from AC/DC? He’d be a perfect fit for the fighting French.

$5mil/yr for 10yrs? What’s that after the Hoosier state gets their share? Meyer doesn’t have to cut that check on April 15, and he also doesn’t have to worry about snow showers later this week as he prepares for FSU.

1. - I honestly think you are on to something. I really think it’s Tommy Tubberville.

mark it down.

ND missed the boat to sign CPJ away from Tech. He just signed a contract extension last week.

You want someone that’s too big to fail, ND? Then quit fartin’ around and get down with MC Marky M. He’s available, you know.

Also from the hilariously deluded fans on the coaching carousel front: Funniest rumor about Mangino’s replacement at KU: Tony Dungy! After all, our AD sat in his private box at the Super Bowl! It’s fate, I tell you! Fate!

Lol, I’m an ND fan with absolutely NO delusions about Meyer leaving Flordia, but that picture of Saban with the tag-line is just priceless…

I have it from a very reliable source that as soon as the Brinks trucks start throwing stupid money around that Saban will indeed have time for this shit…he only works for stupid money…he is the stupid money king…ask him.