Albert doesn’t seem to be taking his job very seriously there…he seems to be laughing. Then again, Gators aren’t scared of a a little water.

Can I derail this thread in advance before it gets ridiculous by confessing that I would wreck Ari Fleischer given half a chance? Let’s find out. (Not Brando, though. I hear he’s a crier.)

I immediately think successful sports P.R. when the name Ari Fleischer is mentioned.

Up next, Wlford Brimley as the new voice of Hello Kitty and later, Les Miles endorses Omega watches.

Brimley would be such a better BCS spokesperson. Podium. Bowl of oatmeal. Mustache. Diabeetus. It would be so much cheaper than whatever shitshow is going to get trotted out here.

I’ll throw in an offering of Bobby Johnson as your new spokesman for Red Bull. And Ketel One for that matter.

I wouldn’t worry until such times as you see John Yoo going into the NCAA headquarters… because that’s when you need to start worry about what the by-laws actually say.

Holly @ 2 – if they hire the egregious Michelle Malkin to help him with the online communication strategy, I’ll drive. (I’m not proud.)

How about Xenophobia, the fear of something different. As in Les Miles fear of following conventional thought and calling a timeout before wasting 16 seconds.

Just to be clear, in case there is doubt: I would favor “Torturing Skip Bayless” as a new national core value. It would look fabulous on a South Carolina jersey.

Xenakis, the Greek composer? From a description</a? of his 1977 piece, Jonchaies:
 
"It calls for one hundred and nine musicians, with four flutes, oboes and bassoons, six clarinets and six horns, four trumpets and four trombones with a tuba, along with seventy strings massed against the wind and percussion. Although the strings are thus perfectly audible, Xenakis allows them no rein for sensuality or sentimentality, and forbids all vibrato; in fact, many of the parts are headed with a global warning against vibrato."

Sounds a little like Tressel.

how about eXtreme Unction:

O-Coordinator Gary Crowton may need to receive the sacrament of eXtreme Unction after Saturday’s debacle and before being thrown under the bus by a PCP-crazed coach Miles.

Sounds like a job for Baghdad Bob.

@3
Don’t forget that Lipitor is going with the Weis/Mangino duo and Trojan is signing on Shawn Kemp and Travis Henry to rep their product.

As for the Ari hirer, can they trade him for Ari Gold so he can at least tell Boise State to “hug it out bitch” when they’re stuck in the Emerald Bowl getting beat by Cal.

Xenon Headlights.
I get it Audi. Your cars are very pretty and their mere headlights alone will win me the neighborhood Christmas Lights competition. Now please stop advertising during every commercial break of every football game the rest of the year. It won’t make me buy two of your cars for my wife and I for the simple reason that I hate the assholes who put lights all over their house thinking it makes them more festive. Fuck those people.

XXX

The letters on the side of the clay jug I must drink out of to survive Notre Dame fandom.

“Ex” Suggestion Dept

How about this epic poem for the letter “X”:

Cheesburger Charlie thought he had the schematic advantige with his “x’s” and “o’s”,
and it was only time until he recruited his All-World “billies” and “joes”,
but, alas, that was not to be,
ended up making the Non-Fighting Irish a bunch of losers,
and making many ND fans worse boozers.

(taking bow)

rats…cannot spell “advantage”…

On a Roll Dept:

How about this for the Letter “S”:

“S” is for Stupidy

((((Stealing from the genius “Most intersting man in the world” ad campaign….))))

Lester “the Molester” Miles is the " Most Stupidy Man in the World".
(insert a bunch of Les is stupid copy here, which is too easy to do,
like shooting fish in a barrel) :-)

O

It’s very clear that our social circles must not intersect as strappado means something entirely different (and more pleasant) to me.

"There continue to be elements that support a playoff system. These are violent people. They governed Iraq with violence."

X-ray. As in the x-ray that shows you what to expect from Les’ brains.

oooh, oooh, oooh:

1. Xs and Os (fleeing Les Miles brain like rats from a sinking ship)
2. “X” – The United States Steel Corporation (Exhibit A: Ducks and Masoli strong in under immense
       pressure).
3. X Factor! (Oh, a smorgasboard of choices on the table currently in college football)
4. X Files – (“I want to believe” – Oh, the sheer number of delusional candidates here…)
5. X-Men – (The Heisman front runners….)

“X,” as in crossing teams off the “possible Rose Bowl teams” list. Arizona is still 0 for history in that department. When Wazzu looks down their nose at you in any football-related capacity, it’s been a tough life.

The real question here is, what are Urban and Albert doing on the steps of Sproul Hall in Berkeley?

Can I be the one to torture Skip Bayless? Has somebody else already called it? If so, I’ll settle for just being the guy to break the glass bottle up his ass.