EDSBS THE MAGAZINE | VOL. 2 ISSUE 12

ahhh….those essential oils…. how delightful…. I remember them well

punt, Bama, punt….bitches

Mangino’s next gig will be as a mall Santa, and I imagine him saying something similar to the children.

Wow, Georgia’s so pathetically irrelevant that their meltdown against UK doesn’t rate a reference. Nor the poor dog dying, either. Sad, sad.

This is going to be a long week.

Charlie Weis is staying at ND, but as Offensive Coordinator (and chief recruiter). Bill Belichick will become the ND head coach, as long as he doesn’t have to go on the road and beg 17 year olds to go to ND.

The best joke was hidden at the bottom.

Surprised to see no Haka-Tebow reference after his 6 TD performance to appease his volcano Gods

In what universe is Notre Dame an elite coaching destination? Tradition? Show me a school with palm trees and a healthy supply of sluts and I’ll show you a contender.

-Florida
-Texas
-USC (typically)
-LSU
-Miami
…etc

Keep overlooking the Longhorns and feast upon your irrelevant SEC Les Miles story. LSU now has what 3 losses? Or 4? Who fucking cares anymore.

I don’t give a fuck if it is Florida or Alabama come national championship time.

Bring it SEC, bring it to Coach Boom.

Yeah Orson, putting Les Miles on the cover of your fictional college football joke magazine was tantamount to a slap in the Big 12’s collective face.

Just how is showing everyone what Oklahoma State was saved from a slap in the Big 12’s face?

@ 42

Not a slap in the Big 12’s collective face.

Just Colt McCoy and his record setting day (OMG!!! HE BROKE AN IMPORTANT RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

But it wasn’t an SEC story so he doesn’t matter right??

Orson-If you don’t give Colt and his due, you’ll rue the day you overlooked PB and his QB. RUE I SAY!

LAWYA OUT

Should be at @10

Yea!?! Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale….

We think it’s a fact of science and faith that Les Miles > Colt McCoy in t3h LULZ.

Durk our durrr!"

Ahhhh, a mostly wonderful weekend, but a few comments & questions – none of which made the EDSBS cover.

1. Fuck ND. They are yesterday’s newz.

2. Swindle, after lotsa alcohol at Clempsons in private box yesterday with free miller lite & food & likker combined with more at The Tavern at Phipps Poontang Show most of today, watching……

JAYTHEASSHOLECUTLERJUSTSELFDESTRUCT, well, life is simply wonderful. Plus photos with Joe Wilson & Danny at Clempsons. Not to mention laughing at the Ginger Ninja later Sattiday.

3. How the hell can we at Starksville go 55-327 on the ground & lose by 21? The Remnants of The Ghost of Croom requires an excorsism for DanMullen to be set free. The only downer fer me.

4. (See #! above) Will Bellychick hire the Decided Schmatic Advantage back?

Mangino and Weis will both be mall Santa’s.

Don’t let your kids approach with a Slim Jim… or God forbid a fried turkey leg.

Perhaps future editions of the Mag should include this lawyerly (lawyaly?) disclaimer:

“NOTE: EDSBS The Magazine is not an actual magazine and thus is not covering any of the ‘stories’ it teases on it’s cover; therefore, by definition, nor can it be ‘ignoring’ any of the ‘stories’ NOT appearing on the cover. Any attempt to take umbrage at, or discern SEC bias in, the editorial focus of this FICTIONAL, NON-EXISTENT publication will be construed as legal proof of your mental retardation and/or inability to function as an independent adult in society, and shall be punishable by us sending Mark Mangino over to your house to belittle you on Christmas.”

Have a GRAPE day.

What’s funny about Colt McCoy setting a record? Why should it be included?

Wait, I have it:

Colt McCoy Rolls. Texas fans think we give a shit.

Jesus Tittyfucking Football Christ deliver us.

1) Orson doesn’t do the magazine.
2) Because I do the magazine.
3) And how this escapes anyone at this point is beyond me.
4) See comment 19 — McCoy breaking David Greene’s record is mockable how, exactly?
5) For whatever it’s worth, me and the Longhorns go way back, and if there’s a god in heaven they’ll crush Floribama in Pasadena. Nothing would please me more.
BUT:
6) It’s a half-assed photoshop on a Sunday night on the internet, y’all. No one cares as much as you do.

I miss anybody?

Dear Holly,

Forgive them, because they have lost many brain cells from celebrating/recuperating – those who matter recognize and give thanks for your attentions and efforts

As for the Floribama/TX game, well, 4 words…..

ess eee cee defense

Re: Orson’s Love Slave

Lest you forget, ESDBS is authored/supported by folks with ties to Florida, Tennessee and LSU. Any “UT” references here are more likely to be interpreted to mean Kiffikins and the Vols just as any “SC” references might mean South Carolina and not Southern Cal.

Get over it.

THIS MAGAZINE IS BIASED BECAUSE TCU BREAK LOTS OF RECORDS AND THEY WOULD ROLL OVER YOU SO THIS IS BIASED.

Screw this Big 12 non sense…..can we start hating on Auburn this week already?
Come on out Chizik, take your whipping like a man…who’s 40! ROLL TAHHDDUH ROLLLL!!!! You better play ur best game, or Mark Mangino will send you back to da hood and you can get shot with ur homiez…..and your real estate agent….or he may just have the agent call you whilst putting a restraining order upon you…..if he doesnt eat the restraining order just cuz he’s fat….and if you were to ever get into a scrap with Mangino, just stick and move til he keels over from a massive stroke/coronary/heart asplodes, then simply roll him outta the way, Veruca-Salt-Oompa-Loompa style….

Sorry for the slight. Holly. As you correctly point out, the “Filed under: EDSBS THE MAGAZINE by Holly” tag should have tipped me off.

The rest of my post stands as written.

Kiffin lived out my #1 (pre UGA game) fantasy on Saturday night…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WabdOIxVJvI

OMG!!!! Somebody missed Texas beating Kansas!!!!

Alert the media, release the hounds and press the red button.

Me? I’m doing sacrifices to enable Mike Sherman and/or Bo Pelini to do their black magic in some form…just to piss off Orson’s Love Slave.

OLS@9 – We know your horizons don’t extend beyond the Red River, but where do you think Coach Boom learned defense? The ess eee see.

The only thing that I think is missing from the magazine is the secret decoder ring to [insert the name of inept offensive or defensive coordinator] playbook. I think the last message was “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.”

Harris #6,

I will take your word for it. I don’t get the reference. Perhaps you could include a link to enlighten me?

Lighten up people. I was being sacarstic about the SEC bias. I know who writes this here blog and the affiliations they claim.

Nice to know that a drunken Sunday night comment can rile the EDSBS denziens into foaming mouth hatred.

Doug-unwad your panties
Geaux Irish- I hope you remain a notre dame fan forever.
The Tusk- the number 1 ranked D just cant compete with SEC speed.

Durk our durrr!!

@ tzubear: The joke is that there is a sexual maneuver that 26% of Jason Whitlock has not performed. I’m just tickled by the thought that Whitless can get laid (shudder) and a quarter of him wasn’t involved. No doubt it was off scarfing pudding.

OLC@32 – the #1-ranked D [i]IS[/i] SEC speed. So’s #2.

http://content.usatoday.com/sportsdata/football/ncaaf/stats/team-total-defense

Harris,

Just looked up who Whitlock is. So now I get it. Thanks.

OLS: No hard feelings. If I’d just been outed as a humorless twit who couldn’t recognize a joke when it was inches from his face, I’d try to pretend like I’d gotten it all along, too.

“Jesus Tittyfucking Football Christ deliver us.”

I have a soul-boner for Holly.

Doug- your panties must really be stuck in a bunch today. What’s the matter little bitty writer? Can’t take
some criticism?

Why don’t you spemd some more time watching football before giving humorless advice with your “picks”

Oh and FUCK YOU Dollar bill Doug or whatever you are calling yourself to diverte attention from your terrible writing.

Hee. “diverte”. En francais!

Compliment received on this end, sir!