EDSBSGPS: WHERE WE AT, WEEK 12

Does Kentucky-UGA really count as StabboVision?

Today, and only because I was coerced, live in Lincoln to watch the Husker-’Cats B12N slapfight (my eyes!)

OSU @ Michigan – live

After that, anything and everything that’s on TV.

Go Blue!

First THE Ohio State University vs. Michigan (from Ann Arbor)

trying not to get killed on the way back from irate Michigan fans storming the AD with pitchforks and torches

then switching between Penn State @ Michigan State and UVA @ Clemson

Tonight, abusing the “Recall” button for:

Kentucky @ U(sic)GA
Cal @ Stanford
Kansas @ Texas (now with 200% more Manginio close-ups)
Oregon @ Arizona

I am skipping golf today to not miss a minute of The Ohio State University vs. the school up north.

After that, every game that is on the DirecTV system will be scanned in a state of euphoria with a Buckeye win. If the unthinkable happens, I’ll be in the garage with the door shut and the engine running.

…headed to the filthy rich girlfriend’s place with the youngest daughter. They will be baking, I’ll be watching Florida on the laptop (ESPN 360) and Ohio State sodomize some rodents on the 52" plasma. Go Gators! go buckeyes

…then it’s whatever is being broadcast on the shittiness that is comcast cable. I ALWAYS miss my DirecTV whenever I’m not in the Gator Shack.

….tonight, it’s that New Moon movie with the kid, then rushing home to catch the last of the evening’s match-ups.

The girlfriend WISELY scheduled pictures for our son today @ 11:40, so I’ll be watching The Game with my good friend, Samuel Adams. After that (and assuming I haven’t decided to go take a nap in the middle of the interstate), it’s PSU/MSU and Cal/Stanford.

GO BLUE!!!!

Ohio State @ M… Go Bucks!!!-the Ohioan in me will still always hate that state up north

Air Force @ BYU Its time for the Falcons to give those Mormons an asskicking.

Northern Colorado @ Air Force – some game played indoors with a large, round orange ball (God please dont make me go to this)

It appears I also get FAU @ Troy on 360! Who doesn’t like some good old fashioned Sun Belt football?

Drinking off a Heine mini-keg, mixed with the occasional 5 hour energy (for pure stamina), followed by the
highest form of Division I football…..UAB at East Carolina. featuring the greatest midfield logo in football
history.

 Possibly followed by the plundering of booty. Arrrghhh

First off, Michigan and OSU while figuring out how far the “We’re Friends, but you’re a Gator and I’m a Dawg” situation extends (I do NOT want to watch FIU in ANY game, especially UF).

Later, Georgia and Kentucky to see who wins the “Beta Beast of the East.”

Hope my Dawgs win, but I’ve already started looking ahead to next week.

GO DAWGS!!

tOSU vs. Michigan and Harvard vs. Yale (jk)
LSU vs. Ole Miss from tailgate at DKR
Kansas at Texas from the nose bleed section.

Seriously, it’s sad to watch Lee Corso try his best to look functional on Gameday. He’s really trying hard to put his thoughts together, but it comes out as a jumbled up mess. Poor guy…

‘LSU @ Mississippi’ ? I see what you did there. Orson and Harris sittin in a tree….

Also, thanks Fowler!!

At least I picked a relatively lame college football saturday to torture myself…

2:30p EST – running through Va-Hi on a 5mi loop
3:15ish – running through Candler Park on a 5mi loop
4:00p – Inman Park and Old 4th Ward – yep, another 5 mile loop
4:45p – Poncey Highlands/Midtown- more running
5:30/6pm – 20 miles later…..dear God please let it stop and let me watch football!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6:30pm- watch the end of KKK vs. LSU
7:30p- start watching Cal v Oregon
8:30p – probably will be asleep or passed out in a recliner with a PBR in my hand

Goddamn, these tOSU uniforms look ridiculous.

I’ll be on the far side of Snellville, awaiting the return of rampaging college kids from Athens tonight/tomorrow. Batten down the hatches, make the beds, stock the kitchen, hide the liquor. And watch LSU- Ole Miss.

watching todd dodge lose his job at unt v army

sorry this is my first time but what is this stabbovision you speak of? does it involve wearing a mascots headpiece?

At HQ Control here in the Metroplex.

The main events:

Capital One Bowl Play-In Game (LSU @ Ole Miss), AKA hopefully Gary Crowton’s third-to last game as OC for LSU.

Pacific-10 Conference Championship, Semifinal Round (’Zona @ Phil Knight Academy of Football Uniform Colour Clashing)

Will be looking in on other games throughout the day.

On The Menu: TBD, but some kind of alcohol is mandatory.

Finally, my condolences and prayers to Chris Spielman and his family on the passing of his wife, Stefanie.

12:30-6:00: THE Texas State University vs. Prison High (Sam Houston State)
6:00-7:00: THE Texas State University postgame
7:00-10:00: Watch the Jayhawks get prison raped, weep profusely

Louisville vs. USF on the Internets, then whatever’s on TV until mid-afternoon when I have to give up football watching to observe my wife’s birthday. Damn her for having a birthday that falls on a Saturday.*

• - Does not really mean this. Is lashing out in anger.

Why did Tressel recruit Pryor if he was only going to use him like some thick-ankled, noodle-armed white dude from Zanesville?

@21 So JoPa couldn’t use him like some thick-ankled, noodle-armed white dude from Zanesville?

21 – He didn’t want to have to play against an unleashed Pryor?

Watched Gameday in Tucson this morning with my coffee. Everyone picked Oregon except the porn star.

Minnesota and Iowa on now. Wife is from Minnesota, but I’m watching the game.

9:00 a.m. through about 2:30 p.m. (Hawaii time) – a pilot friend of mine offered to give me and my wife a plane ride around, and to, Kauai.

2:30 p.m. – 3:30 p.m. (Hawaii time) – back to Honolulu, got the Oregon-Arizona game DVRing in case we miss kickoff. . Hoping that me DVRing the game does not curse the Ducks (last time I did it was Boise State).

Flipping around to Cal – Stanford and any other game that looks appealing.

Drinking beer. Probably Kona Longboard Lagers. How much depends on how the game goes. If very badly, switching to the harder stuff. If well, celebratory dinner tonight somewhere nice.

Harris,
those OSU uni’s are Nike’s new super-de- duper Pro Combat offerings. The next generation in uniform technology. …..and yes, very ridiculous looking (but they have a titanium D-Ring, god damnit)

….Florida will be sporting their version next week, which feature a white throwback looking helmet with blue F, blue jersey and blue pants. The stitching on the shoulders looks like shit, and I’m not very happy that UF had to wear these garbage uniforms during Tebow’s last game in The Swamp.

http://photos.gatorcountry.com/Gator-Football-2009/Photo-Gallery-Nike-Pro-Combat/10390952_DRuxK#719654603_Pjnyz

So clicked on Harvard-Yale (wanna keep an eye on the guys who’ll be ruining the country in 10 or 15 years) and a Harvard RB just got absolutely planted on a counter. You don’t often see a LB get to pick up a ballcarrier and absolutely pile-drive him into the turf. I’ll admit it — I got wood.

@ Mich-Placed Gator: Yeah, I know about all the bells and whistles. They still look ridiculous. Mixing all this high-end technology with throwback uniforms never looks right.

Am I the only one who thinks OSU was better off with Michigan punting from the 35 rather than with an interception downed on the 6?

Aren’t the Buckeye unis the throwback unis?

Those new Nike unis that tOSU’s got on must be woven of 100% Interceptrolon™.

Looks like Wyoming is throwing a whitewash at TCU on offense.

Tate Forcier should win Player of the Game………for the Buckeyes.

Harvard goes into the fourth down 10-0. They score on a 41-yard TD after a bad shotgun snap. On the ensuing drive, Yale calls a fake punt on 4th-and-22 inside their own 25 (WTF?!). They only get 16 and Harvard takes over on the Yale 40. Three plays later, Harvard connects on a 32-yard post pattern for a TD. THEN, Harvard misses the two-point conversion, but Yale is offsides. Harvard kicks, 14-10 with 1:24 to play. Now, Yale has first down at midfield with 1:06 to play with three timeouts left. Harvard INT. Ball game.

Remember all those “A Forcier To Be Reckoned With!” headlines back when they beat Frontbutt in September? Um… yeah, not so much.

Yea, so dissapointed about the Yale game, that coach screwed those dude’s over with that insane 4th down fake punt call, especially since they have a legit pro prospect for a punter.

10 minutes until Air Force kicks the crap out of the mormons. Bought a 12 pack of Olympia for the occasion.

Every Home Porno Begins With Kay.

What did Vern just say McCluster’s daughter was named??? Any one else catch that?

…excellent game / season Tate Farce-n-err. Now go flunk out of school so we can be done with your whiney ass.

@38, Studley,

Joke I heard on Conan the other day. "Dr.’s have developed a drug to increase sexual arousal in women, according to recent reports. The drug is called “Diamonds.”

@39 “Dacula,” I think, but pronounced like “Dracula.”

Glad to see the SEC remains committed to these crack-smokers in the stripes. There’s a lot to be said for consistency.

@42,
Got ya…..I thought Vern put an “I” in there instead of an “A”
As much as McCluster is a game changer, the Need 4 Sneed is going everything in his power to off set it.

Danielson must be going bald. He’s said “hairline” at least 5-7 times in this half alone.

Early games wiped out due to the infamous ‘honey-do’ list.
Drinkin’ George Dickel and watching ClemPson / UVA Interested in seeing how ClemPson tries to boost CJ Spillers’ Heisman run. Having him throw a touchdown pass last week was special.
Cross-checking UConn / ND and LSU / Ole Miss

Later, still drinkin’ Dickel and checking UK / UGA (RIP Uga VII) and K-State / Huskers (The Big 12 North is just kinda sad. K-State wins with a win and doesn’t get bowl eligible with a loss.)

That hold on uconn was bullshit. The fix is in!

Drinking Coke and Kraken Rum.

Watching the increasing futile “Save Al Groh’s Job” game.

I don’t know if it’s God or Satan, but some cruel deity will absolutely not let ND-UConn end. When will the hurting to stop?

Believes he just watched a coach throw a game…….

“Yale was ahead 10-7 Saturday with just 2:25 left when it failed to convert a fake punt on fourth-and-22 from its 26, and wound up losing 14-10.”

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/recap?gameId=293250043

Yea, still in disbelief regarding that Yale-Harvard game.

Yea, same place on the field, that Bellicick was criticized for, but instead of 4th and 2-it was 4th and twenty-fucking-two. I was with some European friends-at their first ever football game, learning the rules as the game went-
and they immediately they recognized it as inconceivably dumb…..

And now, less (drunk typo-) typing, more drinking, back to ‘real’ football….the inconceivably bad defenses of Willie Martinez are on at 7:45

Somewhere, Walter Camp is crying.

Who would win a Gary Crowton-Willie Martinez retarded wooden spoonfight to the death?

Why the fuck does Verne miss the NFL? Was he being facetious?

@ Laugh

Pretty sure that was facetious.

And its not physically possible to run on your field goal team with 1 second left on a running clock. There only hope was a quick snap and throw to the endzone, and even snapping the ball in that situation is hard.

Verne’s incredulous “WHAT ARE THEY DOING?” had me in stitches; I’ve never heard him so intense on something like that.

Laugh @55: I think so.

That was the best non answer by that inbred Miles ever. How did you not have your field goal team ready? So So sweet.

I thought the Yale coach was wrong, but I can understand his thinking. Can anybody explain what the fuck Lesticles was trying to accomplish by NOT lining up for the FG?

Reggie Ball is no longer alone.

I’m seriously convinced Verne wanted to scream “What the fuck was that?!”

Giggity grabbing Tracy Wolfson had me giggling like a school girl. A great game between the two craziest coaches in America.

Lou Holtz is driven to stuttering. Epic.

LSU… thanks for Nick Saban

Crazy Idea of the Day:

ND fires Weis, goes back to the well and rehires George O’Leary.

 O’Leary gets Ralph Friedgen as OC (leaving Maryland to their Coach-in-Waiting)

Keeps Jon Tenuta as DC.

They might start winning games again.

If I’m real lucky, Michigan will now try to hire Les Miles. Then the ineptitude can continue while they pay 2 coaches.

ND, you need to start getting turned down by your top five. John Tenuta need not bother to apply. Your defense couldn’t stop a team of EDSBS posters.

Crazy Idea Deux of the Day:

UVa fires Groh
KU fires Mangino

UVa hires Mangino, who brings on Friedgen as DC and Weis as OC

Curvature of the earth is affected

“Who would win a Gary Crowton-Willie Martinez retarded wooden spoonfight to the death?”

I just plugged this into the Cray and the answer is Al Groh. The world is full of mystery.

Matt @ 62 – Actually, you have to thank the Dolphins for him (and Fat Idiot Huizenga for hiring him away from LSU).

I hate Oregon. HATE. But I must admit Masoli is fucking nasty

TCU would be playing for the title if the SWC still existed.

Bet their cursing that Texas governor that put in Baylor over them when the Big 12 was organized.

The Bears are something like an atrocious 11-85 overall in Big 12 play and 3-57 against South teams from what I could find.

Obviously Joe Cox has taken heart in the opening of his brethren’s movie.

1. -

I bet if TCU had been added to the Big 12, Gary Patterson would not be the coach right now. First of all, Franchione might have stayed, and if Patterson hadn’t been hired away by another school, then once Fran finally did leave they would have probably gone out and found a name coach.

Staying in the WAC made it more acceptable to promote Patterson up from def coordinator. I don’t think that would have flown if they were in the Big 12.

Just thought, BTW, y’all would want a first hand report on the invited-yet-unwanted sheet-wearers today…

They were going to protest from 10:00-11:00…it turned out to be 10:00-10:10. 4 or 5 inbreds in red robes vs. at least a thousand Ole Miss students in “Turn Your Back on Hate” t-shirts and “Unity” stickers. Wish I had been there in time. Instead I was there to witness the SECOND most hated people there, the SEC refs.

^crap, SECOND hand report, via a friend I talked to who witnessed it. First hand implies I witnessed it… Sorry.

Cal-Stanford staredown: cool rivalry-based event or coolest rivalry-based event?

I can hear the laughter echoing out of Coach Paul Johnson’s pants as the night rolls on.

Nesbitt, Dwyer and Co. like what they’re seeing in the Kentucky@Georgia game.

Dear Ginger Ninja:

Usually when your HB lines up three yards behind you, you should not pitch the ball to him. Especially not down by the goal line with the game on the line.

Tsk tsk Ninja…you should KNOW not to throw that one, what, forgot your cup again & took a hit to the businesss? Surely something like that to explain that lack of mental clarity-?

Grab some hedge, Wildcats, because the Jackets won’t be there to do so this year.

Joe Cox – watching him makes me mad and I’m a Bammer.

epic game. fucking EPIC

nice tie Brent

FWIW, going to 2OT in the desert (Oregon @ Arizona)

All those Arizona students who crowded the sidelines with a minute to go = OWNED

Civil War for all the marbles in the Pac-10. This will be good.

I never thought Arizona was in the Ivy league or anything, but you think by now the student body would have learned the basic scientific relationship between Bob Stoops and the losing of football games. Yet with Oregon driving, down 7, with plenty of time left they were ready to stampede like it was a Black Friday doorbuster sale. Sad to watch.

Did anyone else catch Coach Lou use the term “bitch and moan” on Gameday Final to talk about offseason preparation for Notre Dame?

Awesome.

Not only does Mike Stoops lose football games, but his team just blew the opportunity for the ultimate everyone gets a trophy moment: a 6 way tie for first in the Pac-10. Could have happened this year, would have been mildly entertaining. Oh well.

Why, YES, spack I just did! Yummy, soft edges of beer buzz sharpened up and mind snapped to, to hear Lou go on about “that’s what coaches do”, pushin’ ‘em in the winter, sping, off-season, to "…that’s why I can handle hearing them bitch and moan" so that they can have that, blah spit blah happy locker room blah SPIT blah Blah..Dr. Lou, Dr. Lou- you do get so worked up when the subject is Notre Dame, and a coach on the ropes (he looked SO uncomfortable).

Given where TCU was when the Big 12 commenced, there’s no guarantee they’d have progressed in the same manner they have done so in the WAC/MWC. During the time at which the conference was being discussed, Baylor actually had experienced some decent teams (especially in the late 80s), while TCU had been mired in a long period of mediocrity.

Who’s to say that TCU would have come in and immediately gotten blistered by OU, Nebraska, K State, A&M and Texas? And sufficiently degraded by Tech, Okie State, Colorado and Missouri?

They may very well have been better off by landing in a spot with a lower limelight and less vigorous competition, allowing them some space and time to build up into the excellent program they have now. It’s been a hell of a lot tougher for Baylor to sell that story to athletes around the state.

So….I wonder if Rich Brooks thought anything from yesterday was bullshit. scratches chin and looks UK-ward

Sad, there was no possibility for a 6 way tie anymore, regardless of the Zona/Oregon game. Oregon State beating Washington State earlier in the day knocked both Cal and USC out of any title game consideration. (Since even if Oregon lost to Arizona, the winner of Oregon/OSU would have 2 losses)