THE U WILL BE GOOD BUT NOT AS GOOD AS STORIES ABOUT COCAINE AND GUNS

by Orson on Nov 20, 2009 2:12 PM EST

We've been shy on liveblogs this year because of travel schedules, life in general, and the big Yahoo liveblog running on the Thursday night game. When they do happen, we tend to announce them about three seconds ahead of time, and recruit our comment militia on an ad hoc basis on an even shorter notice. So, they've been infrequent, and for that we apologize.

If you would like to know when the next scheduled one is, we can oblige. It will be for the greatest event of the bowl game lull: the debut of Rakontur's "The U," the documentary about the rise of the University of Miami's football program in the 1980s. Saturday, December 12, 2009 at 9 p.m. on ESPN.

Our expectations cannot possibly be met, since the Rakontur crew also put together Cocaine Cowboys, the epic coke documentary that taught us that success does not begin until you have enough money to support the care and upkeep of two full grown mountain lions wandering our mansion (purchased in cash.) It should still be impressive enough on its own, especially since Schnelly is involved.

Also, if this one fails to live up to our fantasies of the U's blood-orgy beginnings, we still have the trailer for Dawg Fight, their upcoming documentary on the Perrine Backyard Boxing Scene. Given their already stellar track record, Rakontur is the clear leader to win the rights to our unpublished but insane screenplay for an unfilmable epic about the rise of the Wu-Tang Clan. We finished the scene where Gordon Ramsay steals Raekwon's coq au vin recipe last night, thus forcing Raekwon to turn to a life of hard crime and rap hustle on the streets instead of pursuing his dream of attending Le Cordon Bleu. Powerful, powerful stuff.

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Comments

FREE RIVI!!!!!

by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 20, 2009 2:22 PM EST reply actions

Whatever cash you need to make the Wu-Tang biopic happen, I’m all in. I’ll sell organs on ebay if necessary.

by Big Jon on Nov 20, 2009 2:34 PM EST reply actions

I had never heard of “Cocaine Cowboys”, but after reading the first line of the third paragraph, it has been sent to the top of my Netflix Queue

Also, I feel that the football documentary would be a thousand times better if it was done on a “non-censoring” network, like HBO, Showtime, etc…

by haybeav on Nov 20, 2009 2:44 PM EST reply actions

“The Rise of the U” – with special commentary by one of Miami’s greatest boosters – Luther Campbell!

by Roaminggator on Nov 20, 2009 2:54 PM EST reply actions

Feh. If the movie is anything like the trailer, it’ll be 90 minutes of washed-up Hurricanes sucking themselves off for 90 minutes.

by Harris on Nov 20, 2009 3:01 PM EST reply actions

Uncle Luke, race riots, AND Jimmy Johnson?

My schedule for December 12th just cleared up in a hurry.

Actually like any good Miami alum Ive seen Cocaine Cowboys several times over and have been looking forward to this since it was announced last year. But now that they locked up the honorable Mr. Campbell to do the theme song my excitement has kicked into overdrive.

by NOLAcane on Nov 20, 2009 3:13 PM EST reply actions

Looking forward to it. Lots of parallels between Miami and Cincinnati. The football programs, not the cities. There are no parallels between Miami and Cincinnati, the most conservative town in the most conservative part of a conservative country.

by ohiodawg on Nov 20, 2009 3:42 PM EST reply actions

The only thing Nebraska fans and Notre Dame fans have in common is a hatred of Miami born in the early 80s. I will watch, but I will hide all sharp objects before they cover the 1984 Orange Bowl.

by Land of Os(borne) on Nov 20, 2009 3:45 PM EST reply actions

Don’t bother waiting for netflix. It’s on youtube chopped into 10 minute sections, but very easy to follow from one piece to the next. The quality is fine, its a documentary. I’m watching right now, and it’s awesome so far.

I remember when I went to South Beach with my buddy and on the way back to the airport in the cab driver was like, yea boys this whole town was built on Cubans and drug money. We were like, oooooohkay there crazy cab driver please don’t cut us, but he’s obviously correct.

by Brian on Nov 20, 2009 3:46 PM EST reply actions

— Don’t put Cocaine Cowboys in your Netflix queue. Immediately stop what you’re doing, get in your car, drive to your nearest Best Buy, and BUY THE DAMN THING! Beg, borrow, or steal to get that movie.

by DarthGator on Nov 20, 2009 3:49 PM EST reply actions

Why do I love this blog so much? Because I just read an awesome article from Maxim magazine about the Godmother and Cocaine Cowboys. Thank you, EDSBS, you manage to expand my mind while I procrastinate at work.

by Wes Tex on Nov 20, 2009 3:59 PM EST reply actions

I just read an interview with Billy Corbin on the Rakontur website. While I am confident this documentary or whatever it is will be entertaining, just as Cocaine Cowboys was, he cannot be this head up his ass to be disappointed that the University of Miami wants nothing to do with this thing.

Miami’s administration has done everything in its power to put this period behind them. Yeah, Miami is just dying to wheel Randy Shannon out to discuss this period.

Come on, dude.

by Coop on Nov 20, 2009 4:20 PM EST reply actions