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CURIOUS INDEX, 11/20/09

It's like that now. Because it is Friday, and it is Atlanta, and you need to get the hump out of your back now:

They're not often quotable, but when they are d-linemen are the most quotatious. Gerald McCoy, Oklahoma defensive line behemoth, has the ideal solution for Texas Tech's habit of throwing tortillas on the field during games.

"They throw tortillas?" McCoy said. "They better not throw me one. I'll be hungry. I'll eat it."

Actually, if Red Raider fans want to throw food, McCoy has a menu suggestion.

"They need to throw chicken," he said. "Hey, if they threw fried chicken — shoot, I'll provoke 'em on purpose. Aaahhh! Chomp!"

Figuring out the exact spelling of this and whether it complied with the AP Stylebook had to consume at least three minutes of human existence they will never, ever get back. We would judge, but we have to go blow 45 minutes playing Miami Shark now. That is a glorious waste of time, much like watching OK State's third-string qb Brandon Weeden come off the bench and shred Colorado in the second half of a 31-28 victory in Stillwater. Colorado lead 21-10, but they are Colorado under Dan Hawkins, and thus refunded the lead promptly and efficiently without Mike Gundy having to get all ornery and demanding to see a manager.

Emmanuel Moody out for inconsequential blowout. Moody is out for the FIU game, which would matter if it weren't Florida International, the cheese-eating multilateralists who claim to represent Florida to the world. When Florida invades Cuba without consulting the United States first in 2013, let's see where your "diplomacy" is then, eh? < ----seriously Brandon Spikes and Channing Crowder are going down there with a boat full of beer, flare guns, and toilet paper. Should take four days before they are crowned co-consuls of the island.

Present dick turns out to be past dick. Mark Mangino almost got fired 20 years ago from his job coaching high school ball in Pennsylvania for being a profane, abrasive dick, just as he's being pushed out at Kansas for being a profane, abrasive dick. Rock Chalk Talk thinks it's merely a matter of time for Mangino's departure, while Scipio Tex reminds you that "winning is always a sweet cologne on the nastiest funk. Or, in short: he's fired unless they beat Texas this weekend, and then we'll think about taking you back, Ike. Um, Mark.

The week, summarized in ALL CAPS: Sports Meme Rankings are up at SBNation. Read them. Love them.

Condolences. Stefanie Spielman, RIP. Donate in her memory here.

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Comments

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from a buckeye fan who absolutly loves this blog — that was really cool of you guys to mention and link stefanie’s breast cancer/fund raising page. keep rockin’ y’all —read the blog everyday.

by David on Nov 20, 2009 10:25 AM EST reply actions  

“Let’s hit the parking lot so I can sick your duck.”

Lyrical genius.

by The Ghost of Tyrone Prothro's Leg on Nov 20, 2009 10:25 AM EST reply actions  

Mmmm…. Fried chicken. The breakfast of champions!

by ALGator on Nov 20, 2009 10:26 AM EST reply actions  

Huh, I thought Arizona State had the only crowd that threw tortillas. It started in the mid 1990s after word spread about Ohio State partisans throwing pancakes every time Orlando Pace made a pancake block. At the time, two-time All-American Juan Roque was just as dominant so our student section modified the tradition by throwing torts. Of course it got out of hand within three or four years and the university banned them because we can’t have anything nice ever.

It’s still weird to walk into Sun Devil Stadium on a Saturday night as the security guards yell out “no weapons, no alcohol, no tortillas.” No one’s been doing any pancake blocking at ASU for about a decade now, so it’s probably moot anyway.

by Big Jon on Nov 20, 2009 10:39 AM EST reply actions  

Orson any truth to the Colorado buyout tweet? I looked online I’ve got nothing.

I guess Mangino’s fatness is making him mean. Guy’s probably got the self worth of a Waffle House custodian/busboy/plummer.

As for Whitlock actually being correct about something and doing it sans race card; he’ll be eating an extra fried turkey.

/he’s fat

by InTheBleachers on Nov 20, 2009 10:41 AM EST reply actions  

Um, hate to mention this Orson, but Okie State’s 3-rd string QB is named Weeden, not Medders.

by SC_Eer on Nov 20, 2009 10:59 AM EST reply actions  

Northwestern students used to throw marshmallows during kickoffs. Legendary asshole Gary Barnett banned the practice.

Speaking of great athlete quotes, here’s what Chris Spielman had to say about his efforts to raise awareness for breast cancer research:

“People say ’It’s a great thing that you’re doing,’" Chris Spielman said at the time. "I always say it would be a terrible thing if I didn’t."

Damn shame.

by NU Wildcat Offense on Nov 20, 2009 11:02 AM EST reply actions  

It is a bittersweet year in Buckeye fandom. Stefanie’s passing is too sad for words. Even a thrashing of UM will not dry the tears. Condolences to the Spielman family. Knowing she is no longer suffering is small consolation. I know they will take comfort in the legacy of giving that she leaves in her charity, which will live on in her memory.

by Crabapple Buck on Nov 20, 2009 11:04 AM EST reply actions  

A little Outkast on a Friday morning is better than a Life College graduate and a big glass of milk for getting the hump out of your back.

by A drunkards ramblings on Nov 20, 2009 11:19 AM EST reply actions  

Everything i know about women i learned from slick rick

by Lamarcus on Nov 20, 2009 11:20 AM EST reply actions  

Another Buckeye here. Thanks for your mention of Stefanie Spielman. Very classy. I’ve become a big fan of the site as well – keep up the good work.

by doc on Nov 20, 2009 11:34 AM EST reply actions  

Stache of the Week Dept:

Did Mangino ever get his stachio’ed mug on the Wed slot? After letting himself go, big-time, at least he tries to beauty himself up a bit by adding that little eyebrow stache on his bowling ball head.

Seems to me, guys crying over a few words said by Mangino, is not very manly. Let Mangino be Mangino. What is next? Guys complaining about their drill seargants and crying like female parts? Husbands complaining about the little woman making them go to Junior’s little league game? Mama mia…man up dudes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Stacy Kiebler Luvs Me on Nov 20, 2009 11:44 AM EST reply actions  

Diet Cheese Dept:

….And, no, nobody makes me eat diet cheese!

by Stacy Kiebler Luvs Me on Nov 20, 2009 11:53 AM EST reply actions  

Mother of pearl, just when I thought I couldn’t waste any more billable hours thanks to you Orson, you introduce me to Miami Shark.

by burgler on Nov 20, 2009 12:07 PM EST reply actions  

@SKLM
I hope you’re joking and/or haven’t read some of the shit Marky M is alleged to have said. Mocking a kid for having an alcoholic father and telling another kid he can go back to St. Louis and get shot after the kid’s brother was shot, is a little more than just a few words. Granted, a lot of the stuff is probably a little piss ant-y, but these two things are waaaaayyyy personal and he said it (allegedly) in front of the whole team.

by Brizzle on Nov 20, 2009 12:17 PM EST reply actions  

condolences to the spielman family from a wolverine. we hate those bucks, but we respect them, too. mostly.

by matty blue on Nov 20, 2009 12:18 PM EST reply actions  

@14: Brizzle…shhhhhhh (of course I’m joking) :-)

((((Mangino could make fun of the President’s mother and would keep his job as long as he was winning a lot of games. Now that he is a big loser his recruiting in the toilet because of his negative commentary to African Americans, of course he will be fired.))))

by Stacy Kiebler Luvs Me on Nov 20, 2009 12:30 PM EST reply actions  

Thanks for the link to the Spielman Foundation. In addition to to opportunity to donate, there is a link to offer online condolences. I took the liberty of posting your link to the foundation on a Hawkeye message board.

by kmurp on Nov 20, 2009 12:36 PM EST reply actions  

There’s a world of Karma that is catching up with with Marky M.
It’s no coincidence that these issues surface as Mangino’s winning % plummets.
You can be a dick, but ya better win lots of games…
Nick Saban, are you watching?

by harpo on Nov 20, 2009 12:59 PM EST reply actions  

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