A WORD FROM YOUR SPONSORS

Big Ten fans love Rotel and their commercials, in a Patty-Hurst-Stockholm-Syndrome sort of way.

I don’t find that John Hancock commercial the least bit funny.

By the way, that guy’s wife is lying to him. Jen’s parents house was foreclosed on because her mom’s a felon.

“…confirming everything you’ve ever thought about generic Midwestern cuisine (i.e. that cheese is to any dish what explosions are to a Michael Bay movie.) "

That explains a lot.

the craft beer description scares the shit out of me. get out of my fucking head Ad Age!!!!

O., I fear you have expended more energy and time in analyzing said commercials than was put into their writing, casting and production. Well done, as I suppose someone, sometime had to do it. By the way, I concur with your findings…especially the Bergwood/Lyingbastardface/phantom wife troika…there is some real shit going on there…

Rotel… another fine export from the Great State of Texas along with Shiner Bock Beer and Blue Bell Ice Cream. Please baby Jesus, let me move back there one day.

Oh, and I thought FOR SURE that one could at least get the foam finger koozie FOR REAL, DAWG. The other stuff, meh, but the foozie? That can be sold.

I know that the John Hancock commercials are supposed to be illustrating the “uncertainty” of the times, but I can’t shake the impression that the texting keeps going after they pause and stare thoughtfully up into the air:

Things like:

“Maybe taking out that third home equity loan to buy the Bentley wasn’t a good idea.”

or

“How will little Muffy react when I have to break it that we can only afford 3 weeks in Vail this winter instead of the whole month of January?”

I wonder if Billy Mays’ corpse was cold in the ground before an ad executive greenlit that BudLight campaign.

I can’t be the only one sick to death of the Chik-Fil-A cows, even with the fact that they’re using the exact same commercials they were using over five years ago notwithstanding. They must be testing well with focus groups, because they show no sign of going away.

Chik-Fil-A has got the best product – it’s almost universally agreed upon amongst people who’ve had Chik-Fil-A, even deprived Northerners, that Chik-Fil-A sandwiches are the most superior fast food item for their price range. Of course, you wouldn’t know it from the commercials – all the non Chik-Fil-A eater learns from the current crop of commercials is that there’s a fast food chain called Chik-Fil-A that has what was once a mildly interesting marketing campaign.

If a venn diagram exists using the variables “college football viewer,” “craft beer drinker” and " cheese and diced tomatoe zombies," then by golly I’m smack dab in the middle. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

I do love me some Blue Bell Homemade Ice Cream. Reminds me of such a simpler time and place…

The comments to the Ad Age article are delightful. From the earnest criticism to snark (with a little ARE COUNTRY thrown in), the comments are 150% better than average.

Tomatoe zombies. Excellent.

This group is more likely to spend time thinking about beer rather than work. They are more open-minded than most people, seek out interesting and varied experiences and are intellectually curious. Craft-beer drinkers also skew as having a lower sense of responsibility—they don’t stress about missed deadlines and tend to be happy-go-lucky about life.

And apparently, they’re quite fond of general statements about other groups of people – provided they’re the one who is making the statements.
It’s also likely they overpay to live a more urban area, just so they can brag about it to people they’ve just met. I’d also be willing to bet that they’re quick to call most suburbanites fat and racist – simply to gain the nods of approval from their very small group of friends.

One:

And apparently, they’re quite fond of general statements about other groups of people – provided they’re the one who is making the statements.

Two: [MAKES GENERAL STATEMENT ABOUT OTHER GROUP OF PEOPLE]

I’m so glad you called out the twin clawfoot bathtubs for watching the sunset. That is BY FAR the weirdest trope in the ad world right now and I just don’t get it. Are these people really guaranteeing that Cialis will give you 1) an erection not lasting longer than four hours and 2) random bathroom fixtures on top of a mountain? Also, why are you naked on top of a mountain? And how did you get the water up there? And won’t it get cold pretty quickly? So many questions.

Why, I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’ve certainly never seen a group of students here in Eugene put on some Duck football and mercilessly mock Bud Light every time those commercials air. Although, really, we spend more time mocking the genius of “Let’s take the grill which is supposed to make things hot, and put it near the ice chest, which is supposed to keep things cold!” with an added side of “Rest the plastic ice chest lid against the grill.”
(In other news, Fat Tire, Deschutes seasonal Jubelale, and Abita Amber in my fridge. Mmmm.)

Sure, but are any of these ads the first to rated “Viramennally Prefable”??

craft beer drinkers are fags. right, bro?

I dunno but Bergwood went too upscale with the steak tartare bit. Where are they tailgating? The Grove? I liked them better when they were setting cars on fire.

I’ll drink just about any beer.

I guarantee that your queso made with Ro*Tel goes nicely with your Michigan craft beers. Enjoy them with Ann Arbor Tortilla Co. chips while watching Michigan basketball , or perhaps volleyball, on the Big Ten Network. (Watching football makes me lose my appetite lately. Or maybe I drink more beer and don’t waste time on chips and queso.)

I guess I didn’t pick up that Bergwood wanted Ham to show him his “O” face.

I think its great when screen actors show up in commercials like this guy from Office Space, and that serious dude from “The Unit” showing up in the also ubiquitous AllState commercials

I think its great when screen actors show up in commercials like this guy from Office Space, and that serious dude from "The Unit" showing up in the also ubiquitous AllState commercials

You mean President Palmer? Did you know he used to play for the Cleveland Indians?

Sonic Poem

Rejected. Get out of here
With that weak tot
action. You go strong
to your mouth or you don’t go
at all.

(I also miss bald guy and Geena Davis-type.)

@8 – JoeDawg, I can only assume you’ve never had a Bo Jangles Cajun Filet Biscuit. I mean, CFA has one helluva product, but Bo J’s drives the co-eds wild.

@Big Jon: sorry, “24” would have been the more salient reference for most.

I had no idea he was “Hats for Bats” guy! IMDB is such a cool thing.

@15,

Take ’er easy, dude. Have another Michelob Ultra.

The Ro-Tel ads are certainly the most bizarre ad experience of a college football Saturday. The woman just holding a frying pan out there screaming “QUICK MEALS” as if she’d never learned how to operate said pan or boil water.

Bud Light is piss water but it works. Not something I carry in my fridge, but I’m not gonna get snotty about it despite moving to craft beer heaven in the Pac NW.

@18 – Jubelale FTW!

1. Other than the part about angelica huston, I want to be sasquatch, if that’s how he’s livin’.

2. I once did an analysis of ACC raycom commercials, they are just fast food joints, beer, and car insurance ads, much as you have illustrated here.
A) This leads me to believe the average american is getting into car accidents while drunk driving to buy cheeseburgers (hmm prolly not far off).
B) It’s odd because pretty sure none of the products that appear in said commercials (such as sonic and carl’s junior) even exist in Boston or New England (where I live).

3. What is odd is that my town has its own cable network, and that we get the Big Ten Network for free. Who the hell in Central Massachusetts is watching the Big Ten Network? Oh sure we get that and ESPNU but no CBS Sports.

4. Enjoyed the term profligacy to describe the behavior of baby boomers. Man what a bunch of fuckers. While their parents may have been the greatest generation, that group might well be called “Our Nation’s Future Medical Care Burden.” I’m glad they will all retire penniless.

Someone please tell me why the f___ are Bergwood and his bud, ostensibly FSU fans (STATE shirts and numerous Bobby Bowden references) wearing BLUE???

+100 COCKTAILS on the texting Baby Boomers. When the financial world is run by people who communicate like 14-year-old girls, no wonder there are ‘issues’.

On that note, I am now convinced that the Great Recession is being perpetuated by marketing departments across the country because it gives them a bottomless well of “OMG TIMES LIKE THESE WE CAN ONLY GO TO STARBUCKS THREE TIMES A WEEK INSTEAD OF FIVE” commercials to draw upon.

Will Ham show Bergwood his “oh” face in future episodes?

At least this year’s Rotel commercials don’t have some goofy mariachi music. I heard that stupid jingle in my nightmares last year. It was the backing track to Nick Sheridan attempting to play quarterback.

Also, would it be OK if I used all the TAILGATE APPROVED stuff with craft beer? Because earlier this year I supplied beer for a tailgate and brought nothing but craft beer in cans.

You guys should’ve done this last year when Triple Steak Guy and Saved By Zero were in full effect.

Does Sonic sell anything remotely healthy? Not that it matters, but it seems every Sonic concoction is designed with your specific early death in mind…..

As for annoying commercials, thank God RAMBOX is no longer aired.

So basically Bergwood hasn’t seen Vincent’s “O” Face for quite some time…

Out of many things that bother me about “Tailgate Tested, Tailgate Approved” is that the grill/cooler combo has been around a few years…….

Amazon.com product description: “The Fire and Ice Grill 2 Go from Thermos is a go-anywhere, cook-anything grill and cooler combo that puts a whole new spin on eating and drinking outdoors. Sure to be a huge hit at the next cookout, camping trip, or tailgating event, the Grill 2 Go features a propone-fueled grill ingeniously mounted above a 10-gallon insulated cooler that has plenty of room for cold drinks. Simply depress the hydraulically powered foot pedal and the grill automatically rises up to a comfortable 32-inch cooking level.”

Isn’t the point to be so ridiculous no one would ever buy? Ah, irony…….

And being the most high-maintenace tailgating chick around, yes, do the unthinkable and bring wine. My friends are correctly ashamed and I know I’m an embarrassment to the SEC…..

1. - My localized cable company here in South Carolina has also decided to randomly add the Big 10+1 Network. So far the only use of it I have found reason to make was putting on the Michigan-MSU game while working on installing some flooring. Hell, I get more use out of the Versus HD they also added.

yoyofutbawl @ 39: What, you don’t need to carry HAMMERS AND TEWWWWLS AND STUFF in your truck?

Its been 3 years since I got my DVR and they’re still showing these same farging commercials?

Am I the only one who was inspired by this article to go to the fridge and grab LITERALLY the last Fat Tire in it??

Really…we’re talking food/beverage snobbery on the same day this site posted a video explanation of “Doritos Salad”?

I have to say that the more insipid beer commercial series is from Natty Light. They world-series the brosifs who would be watching the Bud Light commercial, and remind them that this behavior is still acceptable even though senior prom was last decade. Don’t get me wrong; I would encourage said behavior as well, but let’s not admit to it with national ad campaigns. Natty Light should be hidden in the recesses of our mind like the beer caves from whence it comes. Instead, we get this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL01ZSr39bU

I have a love/hate relationship with chick-fil-a… I love their entire menu, but hate their commercials and that they are closed when i can’t get my fix on Sundays… Because even though i love Bojangle’s almost as much, you can’t substitute a cajun fillet biscuit combo, seasoned fries, tea when you’re craving a chicken sandwich, slathered in mayo and mustard, accompanied by Polynesian Sauce to dip, and fucking waffle fries, sweet tea… just can’t do it…

I can’t believe in this day of 800 channels on DirecTV any of you actually watch fucking commercials?
Isn’t that why God gave us opposable thumbs?

I’m not going to pretend I read all the post, it started to become work but I agree the Chick-Fil-A commercials are creepy, so it’s better to kill chickens because the cows said so? Wholly Animal Farm Batman, who next? Was this a Clemson fan who thought this ad up?

But how did these comercials not get mentioned, then agian they might have I’m just too lazy to read and see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFyLEtSu0JA

Lose baby! Lose Baby!

Oddly the same chant echoed in the parking lot of a UGA game while someone’s girlfriend squats to piddle in front of another dudes Chevy Z-71.

Carry on then Orson…always remember that there’s room in this world for both the creme brulee and the swiss cake roll.

Also glad “This is Our Country” Chevy ads are pretty much dead.

New Testament God bless you, Orson, for doing this.

The two Sonic guys, though, I always read for a “Brokeback Mountain” kind of situation: You know, they’re married now, and these times flinging tots at each other in the car is all they have anymore…

I’m severely depressed by the lack of Yellawood on the SEC Network this year. I haven’t been ashamed of the South enough.

Also, fuck Miller Lite. No one has a fucking orgasm when your shitty beer is being poured in a glass unless they’re frogging in the bathroom of the randomy spacious yet anonymous bar in all your commercials.

Need… Fat… Tire…

My favorite is still Howie Long calling the guy a pussy for driving a Ford. That’s really going to get me to buy a GM product next time around.

Shiner Bock is sweet nectur of the Beer Gods…

“LOOSE baby”

The message of the Jack Link’s commercial always seemed peculiar to me. “People who eat Jack Link’s jerky are such profound idiots that they get regularly pwned by mythical woodland creatures. Don’t you want to be one of them?”

But the one that really irks me is when they digitally superimpose the Allstate logo between netless goal posts. Now it’s true that you have to give them points for creativity and audacity here: Buying and selling signage rights to thin air! Who would have thought it? But hey, SEC Network people, we’re proud of our stadiums that have no nets. Because there are only three possible reasons for having a net, all of them a sorry reflection on a program:

1) You can’t count on there being any fans in the end zone to throw the ball back.

2) There are fans there, but you’re afraid they’ll steal the ball.

3) There are fans there, but you’re afraid they’ll be so uninterested in the game that somebody will get hit in the head by the ball…and will sue you, ‘cause they’re like that.

I’ll never get the fascination with Fat Tire here….sweet, malty beer sucks. It’s all about the hops. IPA, FTW. Deschutes, Pyramid, Full Sail, Rogue, Bridgeport, McMenamins.

@jacketexan

Totally agree with this. The whole ad campaign is Howie Long making fun of people who work for a living. Brutal.

I enjoy (most)microbrews as much as the next guy but unless I seriously cut down on the amount of beer I drink in any given week I still see myself buying Miller light – at least until Ed McMahon shows up on my doorstep.

I’ve also enjoyed some of the southern comments insinuating Midwesterners have poor diets. Hailing from the North East I can respect that level of hypocrisy.

thanks for letting me see Sasquatch jump in the car with the dude giving him the hobo treatment (car driving off)… that prick deserved having a foul smelling woodland creature smash his windshield and toss that fuckhead friend of his into the ditch

As a Southerner now living in the Midwest, I don’t give a crap about Midwesterners’ (or anyone’s) diets. I do care about the general blandness of their food, though.

And lack of good fried okra.

I would have never thought this blog was so rife with beer snobs.
Yeah I would prefer to drink Samuel Smith’s Imperial Stout, but if I’m gonna drink more than a handful, I go the cheaper route. (Still in school, not wealthy….)
After 2-3 it all tastes the same anyways.

Jimmy Football – please DIAF!!!!

1. – Agreed

Though I would whole heartedly support the country running adds proclaiming "This is our company"

We’re at least 67 responses into this thread and no one has brought up the GEICO pothole commercial? “Ohhhhh noooooo! Yer tirrrrre’s all flat and junk!”

That fucking commercial makes me want to walk out my front door and start killing random people with a hatchet.

67 – For reminding me of that commercial, I should kill you with a hatchet.

Halfway through the section on Bud Light I zoned out and started thinking about the Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout in my fridge. And now I am drinking it.

GOD DAMMIT YOU FUCKING HILLBILLIES STOP BUYING FAT TIRE YOU’RE KILLING NEW BELGIUM ITS THEIR LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR AND ODELLS IS FAR SUPERIOR ANYWAY.

and the next fucker who conflates “Fat Tire” and “craft beer” gets my foot in their ass.

/extremebeersnob

@63

Clearly you have never been to KC. And you bring up fried okra as the contrast to Midwestern food. Seriously, fried okra? Air has more flavor. Try a Runza from Iowa, Kansas, Nebraska. They actually have too much for a mouth to handle, or too much cabbage, one of the two.

However, the south did give us Chick-fil-a, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Best commercial: black taco from taco bell.

I’m turning into a nerd, since I bring my own beer to parties/tailgates now. I cant bear the thought of drinking another miller/bud/coors’ light (well maybe a coors’ light).

Also, Wanted to make a mention on the craft beer talk. I have challenged two of my cousins and uncle to a home brew competition over thanksgiving, and competition slated for xmas/new years-ish once it is ready to go. It seriously doesn’t sound that hard to do, and should be fun.

PS For all the beer snobs. I know this guy who calls himself the supreme chancellor of beer. His company plans craft beer events for restaurants and parties. I told him that it was preposterous and laughable that he was in shape and had no hint of a beer gut and yet his job is drinking beer.

Brief Favorite Craft Beers List:
-—————————-
Sweetwater 420 (ATL)
Lancaster Brewing Company Milk Stout (PA)
Shiner Bock (TX)
Harpoon Brewery UFO Hefeweisen (sp?) (Boston)
Sam Adams Lager

Love the dynamic between the domestic beer drinker’s perceived slight versus the craft brew crowd’s need to mention their current drink of choice. As if anyone gives a fuck. Myself, well I’m a malt liquor man. Nothing quite says “I’m going to try to grab your wife’s sweet ass and steal your car while you watch the game” like the 40 OZ of Nightrain I bring to a tailgate. Hell yeah, motherfucker!

After spending several years in Germany, my taste for domestic beer was forever changed.

Spaten
Paulener
Pilsner Urquel

Absolute favorite while there: Binding Export

Of course, I’ll always honor my first love and cultural origin: Guiness Stout

Sullivan013

Sullivan… +1 for Spaten, although I don’t know if you can consider an import to be “craft” beer.

I was introduced to Spaten a couple of years ago in a family-owned German restaurant. I asked the bar tender what he would recommend and before he could answer this old German guy at the end of the bar grumbled, “Spaten!! Spaten is good beer.”

The man wasn’t lying.

I drink Warsteiner

I mean its WAR and STEIN need i say more

Sullivan013:

I agree wholeheartedly…It took me several years not to grimace after each sip of an American beer after 2 years in Germany. I mean, Heinekin was “Old Milwaukee Light” level over there, for chrissakes…

Ancient Chinese Secret-

Yeah boy, we got us sum toolz. In a freakin toolbox, however. Or in the trunk, which more or less includes:

Schonstedt Metal Locator
FLIR Infrared Camera
Buck Air Sampler
Cordless drill
Lock cutters
Sawzall & 100’ extension cord
A shitload of tools
250W light
Golf clubs

Goddam RAMBOX my big ol hairy butt.

half & half- Guinness and High Life. not as good as one would think.

Fat tire sucks. No two ways about it.

Beer drinkers of both varieties (craft and crap): Why the fuck would anyone drink beer at a tailgate? You folks are morons. You want something that won’t make you feel full and bloated, so you have more room for the jambalaya, grilled meats, christ, even Doritos salad. In addition, it seems highly inefficient to put beer in a flask. You need to rethink your tailgating. Maker’s Mark will bring some clarity to the situation.

Fat Tire used to be really good beer. But as they started to expand their distribution the beer got worse and worse. And not just in the outer reaches — it isn’t very good even in Colorado. If you’re buying New Belgium, go with their seasonals. Those are still pretty solid. And for the person that mentioned O’Dells, 90 Shilling on tap is the stuff.

I will forever find it confusing that I went from Louisiana to a program at NU for the summer, and the first time we went out to eat, there were fried alligator, crawfish and crab cakes, gumbo, po-boys, and red beans and rice with andouille on the menu. What a taste of the Midwest.

Dude, those fucking Sonic commercials are so homoerotic and stupid they make me want to throw my remote thru the screen when they come on and then go firebomb everyone of their restaurants I can find.
And Bud Light, in my opinion, definitely an uncharacteristic swing and a miss on those infomercial-commercials.

@72 Neuheisel, no one gives a fuck that you don’t give a fuck. And on and on. Also, I like how you rip people for posting their favorite drink of choice, and then post your favorite drink of choice.

@72

Shiner Bock and Sam Adams are not really craft beers.

They’re good beers, but craft beer is more like a real microbrew, not a small regional brewery. Hell, I can get Sam Adams in Hawaii at every Aloha Mart on the island – not a craft beer at all. I can’t get Shiner except maybe at the Yard House (a bar in Waikiki with like 6000 beer taps, each with a different brew) like heaven, except the girls are wearing clothes (mostly).

Damn! i missed the gathering of my fellow beer snobs. oh well- fun reading!