Little Women Dept:

1) Yes, Swindle, Jim Harbaugh is scared of NO MAN, including Pete Carroll, but he is terrified OF TWO WOMEN, his ex-wife and current squeeze!

2) Notre Dame will now put Urban Meyer on top of their list, followed by Bellichick from the New England – who has proven Charlie Cheeseburber-like fourth down play calling, and Jim Harbaugh.

+100 cocktails for suggesting Arsene Wenger should coach Notre Dame.

He does have quite a knack for scouting young African talent.

Don’t forget Notre Dame’s earlier consideration of Neville Smythe-Dorleac, Yasuo Oshima, and Franklin Benedict.

Not to mention “…No more beer on the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro”. Ray Rotto, count me a new fan.

Winger would start a lineup with 11 non-English players. Oh wait, maybe 11 non-American players?

I meant Wenger, of course. Not the 80s hair band.

I have no idea what they would do as coach of ND.

Well, Pete, you were a brutal tyrant during your reign of terror over the Pac-10, so when the mob finally gets a hold of you, it’s probably going to be ugly.

Even if USC loses the next two games and their bowl game by 60 points each, I don’t think I’ll ever tire of the look of confused defeat on Pete Carroll’s face. But of course, if that happened, the Trojans would probably finish at #6 anyways.

Monroe was arrested on Interstate-35 (“I-35”) hours after the game – not 35 hours after the game.

People have finally figured out—mostly—that the emperor has no clothes in South Bend. So somebody has to step up and take on the burden of the unearned rankings and bowl bids, the delusional expectations, and the burning hatred from everyone else that goes with it all, now that Notre Dame has started to lay them down.

Who better than the University of Spoiled Children? The only thing they need to work on is caring enough to let the wounded sense of entitlement truly work its magic. (Too much California mellow can take the edge off everyone else’s delicious schadenfreude.) Oh, and getting an exclusive TV deal with a worshipful major network.

Slight correction… last year’s UF team was never 9-0….

/giggity..

God Bless The Stanford Band. Hopefully it’s up on youtube.

Their most classic bit was when they formed male & female sex symbols, with the male chasing the female all over the field while playing “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”.

35 hours after the game would be….. like…. right about now?

I hate FLs official line (and Gainesville Sun’s football writers) of “It am what it am, just enjoy it.” F- that, I’m not only thinking about why they are not scoring a thousand on teams, but if they don’t open their eyes they will get exposed against AL. Its one thing if a fresh, free thinking offense that executes well still loses against a better team, but if this staid offensive bulls-it causes the loss than Gator Nation deserves to be as pissed as they will be. The Collective WE needs Tebow’s legacy to notch the season after the PROMISE just as much as he does.

Re Jon Gruden staying at ESPN: You forgot to mention the even more ‘especially delusional faction’ of U of Louisville fans who’ve been all agog over reputed Gruden sightings for a couple of months.

‘Old Testament creature meats’ + NUMBERS of cocktails, but watch for JUDGES on I-35.

#6

i think it’s pretty obvious that if 80s hair band winger was the new ND coach, the first thing they’d do is make the band learn something other than bon jovi’s greatest hits, b/c that’s pretty much all they play

speaking of ND, i got an email from an old domer classmate yesterday that said Kelly is already signed and they’re just working out the assistant coach’s salaries, so let’s run with that story, baseless internet rumor mongerers of the world

Are Notre Dame fans actually aware that eighteen year old top athletes no longer get an erection at the thought of playing for Notre Dame anymore? Lou Holth was the boner killer, and Charlie Weis is just flaccid.

D J Monroe is a kick returner, not a kicker; indeed, he is a good one, having returned two this year for TDs.

Shackleton is awe inspiring, and he even has coaching experience: he had his crew play soccer on the ice while awaiting the eventual melting of the ice.

Finally, I believe in historical revisionism as much as the next guy, but even the mighty Gators of last year never saw 9-0.

It’s good that the UF players are secluding themselves. The pressure is likely getting to them anyway.

I think we’d all be happy to see the offense quit making the negative plays that kill red zone attempts. Expectations might actually be higher for the defense when you hold 2008 Oklahoma to 14 points and return the entire unit. However, it’s clear they are a bend-but-don’t-break defense, focusing on game management and causing turnovers.

So they’re doing just fine, and without Tebow’s pick-sixes off his back foot, they’d be averaging under 10 points a game. If you can’t win with that, you’re not much of a champion.

Florida fans can rest easy. Your offense will show up huge this week vs. FIU. Just like Charleston Southern. Who the hell is scheduling there anyway?

Cowherd Rumor Mill Dept:

1. 15 – Okie-man, This just in from Cowherd, your Oklahoma coach – Stoops has expressed interest in the Notre Dame job! If it is from Cowherd, like the National Enquirer, it must be true.

Gator fans as sadistic? Completely true. My basement was clogged with dead hookers during the [NAME REDACTED] years.

…when you just play 8 SEC teams, you deserve a FIU week

There’s a guy with head coaching experience – an offensive guru stuck in a “high academic” school that may be interested in the ND job.

You know Cutcliffe was ND’s offensive coordinator Charlie’s first year until he had a heart attack. The people in South Bend really liked him and took care of him and his family during that time – it wouldn’t surprise me to hear ol Dave’s name bantered about.

I still think it all sets up well for Tubberville. We need you in South Bend, Tommy.

Only a coach out of the SEC can have any sort of appreciation for the unrealistic expectations ND fans have.

….as far as the ND coaching job, I just heard from a friend in ATL that Paul Johnson is headed South Bend.

Personal highlight of Trattou’s INT and return? Being bludgeoned/dry-humped by his dad (who is bigger than he is) in what are supposed to be the mid-to-high level USC donor stands during same. Thanks, fellow Carolina fan for the sellout. One-hundred afterbirth cocktails to you, and I look forward to paying you back by selling my seats to The Fatties/the cast of The View all of next season. Huzzah!

Come on MPG, don’t feed the troll. Crabapple has his chest puffed out this morning with tOSU in the Rose Bowl.

BTW, what’s the number on teams to go undefeated in SEC play?

To illustrate Orson’s point further, the Florida defense is the #1 scoring defense in the country. They’re
averaging 10.5 points a game. That’s a “holy crap! 10.5?” You take 10.5 points off the Florida scoring
average of 33.9, and you get 23.4, which would rank them at #89 (tied with North Carolina). If you needed
some numbers to back up the point (as if that telling video wasn’t enough) that the Florida defense is
propping up the team in more ways than usual, there it is…

cfbtats, the bestest. Thank you for your wonderful site – clean, simple, functional, powerful, complete and ad-noise free.

19 – Addazzio will do everything in his power to not break thirty.

Ancient Chinese Secret @ 7 Well, Pete, you were a brutal tyrant during your reign of terror over the Pac-10, so when the mob finally gets a hold of you, it’s probably going to be ugly.

Payback’s a bitch, but anyone who would have skipped the past few seasons for fear of getting battered later shouldn’t be allowed to watch college football.

Blog Goliard @ 9 You wrote: Oh, and getting an exclusive TV deal with a worshipful major network.

Have you not been watching the ESPN family of networks since 2004?

@22… fair enough, but what about the scheduling of Charleston Southern and Troy?

Playing in the SEC East isn’t grounds for the #1 team in the country to schedule 3 tomato cans out-of-conference.

@19:

I’m sorry, you’re right. We should schedule such powerhouses as Navy, Toledo, and New Mexico State instead.

Addazio is simply putting you all to sleep. He’s sand bagging like crazy so Saban has no film of his offensive genius and then in Atlanta he’s gonna go all June Jones-Mike Leach-90’s Spurrier on the Tide.

That or he just blows, is in way over his head and needs to go back to coaching the hogmollies and leave the scoring to guys with a clue.

As for ND, 16 year olds being recruited don’t know who Rocket Ismael is and to them Lou Holtz is just the old guy with the lisp. Its like trying to tell a high schooler that Whitney Houston used to be the hot shit; to them she’s just the psycho on Bravo that smokes crack.

Hey, don’t knock Charleston Southern. They put up the most yards against Florida until the Arkansas game. Yeah they were using base looks and Florida scored so quickly they had almost 40 minutes on offense, but I still think it’s funny!

“Jim Harbaugh fears no man” unless that man is in the adjacent stall

Harbaugh to Carroll: “Gotterdammerung’s a bitch.”

After playing Against Harbaugh for 3 years in 1 AA, it’s nice to see him get some success with his offense in the big leagues. Dude beat Yale by 40 points (the USC of 1AA non scholarship), when everybody thought Yale was legit.

@22,

Myth-making at its best. Carry on…

Or not.

@32 That’s some epic sandbagging if it were true. I unfortunately think the truth is more likely your 2nd statement.

@22 – so, who besides LSU did Florida actually play this year? Are we supposed to believe Miss State, South Carolina, Georgia and Tennessee are actually good teams? Maybe in years past, but not this year.

And Pete Carroll is finally eating some humble pie. Where was all the dancing on the sidelines from the Trojan players? Where was the star linebacker dry-humping Erin Andrews? Where’s all the “just having fun” mentality? Kinda sucks when you’re just like everyone else…

Your undefeated, #1 ranked team is working on its third national championship in four years and, worst case scenario, will end this year in a BCS game and you’re complaining that they’re only crushing opposing teams as opposed to crushing them, setting them on fire and raping their cheerleaders. Oh, yeah. Those ND fans are completely fucking delusional.

Let me guess, your friend is a UGA fan? Who thinks Georgia’s gonna put it all together the Saturday after Thanksgiving and show the world how to expose the Nerdbone once and for all? Mmm hmmm.

USC Trojans, welcome to beautiful El Paso, Texas and the Sun Bowl!

Hey Orson, we’re 10-0. FYI.

Go Gators!

Texas El Incomplete Paso Dept:

Yeah baby! Great bowl. Plus, you get free Vitalis grooming products! Can’t beat that.

I used to be an outside observer of Florida fans and would laugh at how the girls in the stands would think the season was over if they failed to get a first down on a drive. But all the negative plays this year on offense are enough to make anyone complain. Also, when a squad shows literally no improvement over 10 games, that is something to whine about.

The championship runs put things into perspective for most of us, but Meyer’s making millions of dollars as a mastermind on offense; he’d better figure out how to punch it in inside the 20.

@20:

Which blog did Cowherd steal that from?

You know why Harbaugh went for two — they wouldn’t let him go for three!

@41

“El Paso, we’re right next to Juarez”

Best Sun Bowl tagline they can produce. The Trojans will kill the Miners home town and then cross the border to pillage in Mexico the way they never could before.

Ya know since they’ve been hindered by all those Rose Bowl trips.

Do you think this is what fans and the team meant when they said they wished they could go to another Bowl besides the Rose?

USC Trojans & 5 Minute Taxi Rides to Mexico… that’s a combination that could not possibly, in any way, end poorly for all those involved.

@38-

Assuming the Gators go undefeated through the SECCG, its a top-20 Strength of Schedule easy. Currently, UF’s SOS is second only to Alabama’s SOS as far as the unbeatens are concerned. They’ll try harder the rest of the season to impress you.

Last comment was directed not to myself at 38 but to PSUfanNYC @ 39 dammit.

@wfguiteau

What are you doing hanging around eighteen year old star athletes’ erections?

A Watcher reference?!?! My day is complete.

…but could he take Galactus?

I’m sure the Trojans will give Sanchez call to figure out how to ball in Jaurez.

@47: +1 million cocktails to you

@50- But what if they don’t? What if they get killed by Bama? Is there enough in the rest of their body of work to demand a BCS bowl bid? Because in that scenario, their second best win all year would be Arkansas…at home…by three points.

CincySooner – yes, no sooner fan likes the Trojans after the pasting they got a few years ago, now it is vicarious payback time, sorta.
I’m not sure the Trojans will end up in El Paso as it may be a higher ranked bowl game than they will earn after they lose to the b’Ruins and Mildcats to completely finish off this horrendous season.
Re-grouping is such a bitch!
But with new coaches, injuries galore, and underwhelming “talent”, the time has come to reload, and in the coaching ranks, to unload.
On another note, Mr. Kelly to ND – book it!

@58… easy there tiger. Didn’t mean any harm by it. I was just making the observation that the Hollywood lifestyle combined with easy access to Juarez may not be the best thing for the program.

You don’t have to tell us Sooner fans what it’s like to rebuild. We’re living that nightmare week-to-week now.

@31
 ’Zactly. OkState, TittyU, and Beees! is shaping up so well for UGA.

Really O???

Have you really gotten so full of yourself that you’ve started making fun of the Wounded Warrior Project.

Shame