JAMES COLEY, TWITTER BRAVEHEART

James Coley is the recruiting coordinator and tight ends coach at Florida State. In his spare time he flexes at walls, eyeballs chain link fences and accuses them of inconsistency, and walks into nurseries to yell at infants and remind them that life is hard and those who survive it even harder. WHY ARE YOU CRYING BABY BABIES NEED TO DRINK SORROW NOT MILK BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU STRONG.

The all-caps mania is less an exaggeration and more direct mimicry, as the following sample of Coley's work on Twitter will illustrate.

Picture 33

Killing "misquitos" with an axe, brah: the intensity just wafts off that like a chili fart, or like the smoke off Christian Ponder's freshly incinerated shoulder, coach. We're with you. We're getting out blunderbusses to shoot cockroaches. We're petting dogs with giant cartoonish hands on sticks. We're taking this double decker of ambition under the bridge of championshipness whether the bridge likes it or not. WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIINES!!!

It's all quite entertaining, if in need of occasional rebuttal and clarification. For instance: statement one...

Picture 34

...and the necessary clarification and correction:

We're here to help.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Join Every Day Should Be Saturday

You must be a member of Every Day Should Be Saturday to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Every Day Should Be Saturday. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker