FRESHMEN VAWLS ARRESTED FOR ARMED ROBBERY, PISSANTRY

Here, I’ll kick things off: Urban Meyer called the arrests “harsh”.

Lil’ Wayne does not approve of this message.

Its like Christmas in November!!!

“IF PHIL FULMER WAS STILL HERE THEY’D’VE USED A LOT MORE THAN A PELLET GUN THIS PROGRAM’S GONE SOFT I TELL YOU WHAT.”

They also wouldn’t have used a PRIUS as a getaway car.

If UT paid their players like Alabama this shit wouldn’t happen. ZING!

A PRIUS?? Are you FUCKING KIDDING … no, no, of course you’re not. OK, NOW I want the driver of the car suspended for being a G-DAMN PANTYWAIST.

Damn, why couldn’t they have waited just two more months? Woulda been one helluva kickoff for the 2010 Fulmer Memorial Cup season.

@5

We just loan out textbooks for book learnin’ and…… learnin’

word is the driver was a woman in possession of some chronic

that’s not even a photoshop is it? holly really does have a monogrammed handgun.

Women.

Why rob Pilot stations?

Because that’s where they keep the eighty small.

And the Slim Jims.

It is easy to ID a Prius with a big rainbow sticker on it…..

Gas – we pump it, you rob it.

I was originally inclined to believe this could be Lane Kiffen’s way of trying to get the Fulmer Cup remaned for him, then I realized these kids were in Phil’s last recruiting class.

Go Phil! Your Fulmer Cup legacy is safe (for at least another year.)

They robbed a Pilot store? Isn’t the Pilot chain owned by James Haslam, a prominent UT Booster? Is it possible that he stopped cutting them checks so they decided to take things into their own hands and go get cash themselves?

Yup, Pilot’s tied hard into UT. My dad thinks it’s all part of Lane’s plan since the Lil Wayne buzz is dying off. I think he’s kidding. (I think.)

@15 – they were all freshmen, which means they were Kiffin’s class genius. Don’t you recall the NuKeese / Meyer story?

Anyway, wasn’t it Oregon who said, “we don’t recruit angels”. No shit! I think it was a smart man that once said, you reap what you sow bitches!!

In all seriousness, this is horrible news. I just wonder if kids realize that walking up to someone with a pellet gun and saying ‘gimee what you got’ is going to get you 10 years of hard jail time? I’m no UT fan, but this makes me sick to my stomach for those kids. I always think of Shawshank where Freeman says WTTE one small moment in time changed my life forever. Fuck Kiffin, he’s making 3 bils a year and couldn’t care less. These 3 kids – all tremendously talented with NFL potential – are done.

Bill, another member of the Haslam family is Knoxville’s mayor AND a gubernatorial candidate. hehe, guber. And he’s pretty goofy lookin. Kinda like if Eeyor was a person.

Let me be the first to say:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nu’Kesse could be in Gainesville right now snug under a blanket of fine, scandalous young females instead of in the East Tennessee pokey.

NFLmentality has GOT TO BE Michael Adams.

@19…

What color is the sky in your world? “Kids”? Really?

Jackson (from Barbe in Lake Charles, I think) bailed on LSU the day after signing day with some ruse about his mother having to fly in from California. Not that I hope something bad happens to him for not coming to LSU, but it looks like we dodged a bullet and can maintain our lead as one of the least featured teams on the Fulmer Cup.

@22- no, NFLmentality has got to be Bob Ley. He’s already preparing for a very special Outside the Lines…

“I’m no UT fan, but this makes me sick to my stomach for those kids. "

What? Are you serious? It’s not like these kids were paralyzed in a car wreck. They robbed somebody! Why not feel sorry for the person that was robbed who thought they were about to be shot. This wasn’t a prank.

A pellet gun? Who the hell was he robbing, a squirrel?!

NFLmentality has a point. I don’t know how the laws are applied in Tennessee these days, but one of my law professors next door in Alabama kept telling us: “In this state, you’re better off killing someone than armed robbing them.”

Good thing these weren’t Florida players though. These comment threads would fill up with Dawgs calling for summary executions, and Gators whingeing that it shouldn’t be that big a deal because lots of people rob gas stations…

Why rob the Pilot on Cumberland? It’s in one of the mosthigh-traffic areas of town, what did they think would happen?

Sign with South Carolina and pump gas in four years. Sign with Tennessee and rob gas stations in one…UT: the fast track to success!

Are you sure this isn’t a joke? A Prius? And Marie Montmarquet sounds like a character out of some florid Flaubert action.

Tennessee is PATHETIC at best…..

@ 18
I realize Kiffin’s name is on the papers because he was the coach on Signing Day. But do you think it’s credible that he came in from the NFL with a list of high school kids he had been talking to for a year and watching for two? I find it more likely that Fulmer and his staff had these guys lined up and all Kiffen did was seal the deal when he came in.

/Obligatory it’s all part of the plan comment.

Lost in this is their choice of targets – people with no cash in a car at a gas station. How much were they expecting to make? 20 bucks? And they all risked full scholarships for this?

Recruiting ranks for the 2009 signing class
Jackson – 5 stars
Edwards – 3 stars
Richardson – 4 stars

Sullivan013

Oh my what a feeding frenzy. There’s so much meat on this bone its like a turducken deep fried in bacon grease.

Just my two cents:

1) If Nu’Keese had gone to Florida would he have gotten to use the requisite AK-47?

2) A Prius? It screams hippy and not getting paid like Bama but then again have any of you all seen the waitlist to by Larry David’s car of choice?

It makes me sick to my stomach because it was a stupid decision that will ruin these kids lives.

Do you think they said ‘Hey lets go try and rob this guy of $60 and go to jail for 10 years.’

Lots of laughs on this board, I know, but these are someone’s sons, someone’s brothers and sisters.

I’ve got kids myself. I hope they never make a decision this stupid.

Alshon Jeffery wants Kiffykins to clarify….Are we robbing gas stations or pumping at gas stations?

Remember how Kiffin was bragging about signing NuKeese Richardson out of Florida? How he bragged about it and made such a big deal about everything on signing day?

I don’t think he’s bragging about it this morning.

“I think it’s funny that Nu’Keese had to cheat to make money and still couldn’t do it.” – Urban Meyer

Maybe we’ll only lose by three touchdowns next year.

- W. Martinez

P.S. THE SCHEME IS FINE!!

NFLmentality:

I don’t feel sorry for people who make stupid decisions who are getting a college education for FREE while at the same playing a sport that they love to play.

Tennessee fans on here seem to be depending on the same “pay players” bit

That’s close to 10 years ago, you just had 3 players arrested last night holding a gun in somebody’s face.

Even Paul Dunn III thinks they should have aborted their plans..

Clarification: They didn’t rob the Pilot, they robbed someone AT THE PILOT. Like, in the parking lot. With a pellet gun. Wearing team-issued apparel. I can only hope that they were oiled-up for their mugshots…

Also: You can’t spell Pellet Gun without UT.

@45: LOLZ!

Too bad Bullet Tooth Tony wasn’t the proprietor of that Pilot station…

“So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.

Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you’ve got your parties mangled up. There’s no pussy here, just a dose that’ll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you’ve got Replica written down the side of your gun…

And the fact that I’ve got Desert Eagle point five O…

Written down the side of mine…

Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now… fuck off!"

These young men should be commended for having the initiative to commit this felonious action during the season, thus avoiding the eleventy bajillion Fulmer Cup points their actions would have undoubtedly brought down upon the Tennessee program.

Also, who commits armed robbery of pedestrians these days? Nobody deals in cash. Best case scenario – you end up with maxed out Discover Card and a Starbucks Gift Card with $.87 left on it.

Come on Holly, you’ve never heard of a semi auto pellet gun?

I find the lack of firearms knowledge at this blog extremely disturbing considering that you’ve all spent time in the southeast. I believe a field trip to your local gun range is in order. Bring targets with Steve Addazio bald head right on the bullseye.

I’m not a huge fan of the “its a privilege to get free school” argument. These kids playing D-1 football work hard enough for it to be considered a trade off.

But I am a fan of recognizing a guy (or three) not seeing an opportunity to improve their lot in life. These kids wasted a chance and for that I don’t feel sorry for them so much as I hope the system is fair and they don’t get “Plaxico Burress-ed” by the DA, mayor or whoever else can make the charges more stringent.

Now back to the jokefest:

I’m pretty sure this was all a plant by the SEC. Urban Meyer, Nick Saban and just to make him smile Bobby Johnson framed these guys.

That’s my only logical explaination because no one can be moronic enough to wear Vols issue gear during a robbery.

I can see LSUFreek working his magic on a gem.

So a serious question: does Kiffin kick them off the team? I mean, armed robbery, pellet gun or not, is a faily serious offense.

@ 44: excellent work there

cant hear em creeping up in a fucking PRIUS!! this has made my day… Cheers!

And now we’re all in danger. The beast has awoken…

“COACH ORGERON ANGRY!!! ORGERON SMASH!”

Though I hate losing to the Vols, I’m sure UTooth fans feel much worse today than UGA fans did a month ago.

And they should. This is embarrassing.

The various “why would they do something this stupid, and in so stupid a fashion?” questions around here, while understandable—because really, not a single step in the presumed decision-making process here is in the least bit explicable—do have the simplest answer imaginable.

They are obviously very stupid people. Most criminals are…and that goes quintuple for failed criminals.

How they got into a fine flagship state university despite a complete and utter lack of brain function is one of life’s sweet mysteries I guess…

O, how many Fulmer Cup points would this have been? Can a semi-automatic pellet gun be called “a deadly weapon” as in “assult with a deadly weapon”?

Or, shouldn’t EDSBS start an in-season Fulmer Cup and call it The Sherill Cup?

Comment from the Gatorsports board that I can’t take credit for…

“Nu’Keese should be happy because he’ll have a lot more balls thrown his way now…”

Orson, time for EDSBS to re-name the award previously known as the Fulmer Cup to:

The KIFFIN KUP!!!!

How much does it suck that he must face the media one day after bragging about not having any guys in trouble….

I’m sure UTooth fans feel much worse today than UGA fans did a month ago.

Not remotely. Without those three it would’ve been maybe 45-26, though, if it makes you feel any better.

#56: Rival, I’m glad it happened to UcheaT. I hope this takes Lameass Chickenshit down a few pegs, and I hope he learns how to pronounce the word “schadenfreude”.

Have SEC replay officials looked at the surveillance tape yet to see if the police arrested the right people?

I heard they got the wrong guys. Janzen, Michael, and Nu’Keese were just driving back from a late night Krystal run.

Yeah I don’t get the gnashing of teeth over what crime some kid on your favorite college football team does. The direction of the program in terms of winning games would be more important (all relative of course, it’s just a game).

Somehow, someway Kiffin is going to try and blame this on Urban Meyer…

Oh, and the argument that “this was Fulmer’s last recruiting class…” is ridiculous. Kiffin was the coach when the freshman signed the LOI in February, so they’re Kiffin’s recruits but more importantly they’re Tennessee scholarship athletes.

Florida tried this back this summer when “breaking down” the arrests over Meyer’s tenure, trying to split hairs by pointing out that the majority of infractions were from Zook’s recruits or “Meyer’s first class”. This is just yet another example why it’s a always a very, very bad idea to cast stones at other programs for “discipline issues”.

The win against the worst UGA team in over a decade won’t be remembered long.

This will.

All publicity is good publicity.

throwback unis and entry song at Neyland:

got a gun, fact i got two
that’s ok man, cuz i love god
glorified version of a pellet gun
feels so manly, when armed

PA-PLINK. PA-PLINK.

I take it back. NFLmentality is either goofing on us or is Thich Nhat Hahn.

I’m (way) more liberal than most and I’m finding it impossible to worry about what a bad life decision this was for these clowns.

jeffft85@62:

They should also get themselves an HD monitor and check to see if the officer who intercepted this crime was inbounds.

Not to mention checking the parking lot surface for any telltale divots…

Karma just called. Apologized for being a little bit late.

@70 nice.

Reggie Bush and I think you southerners go about this all wrong. I’m sure this has been asked but are these three guys retarded? I mean have they been tested?

If this is part of the plan then Kiffin needs to give Washington a call and ask Billy Joel Hobert how it’s done. Shotguns and 30k cash in car trunks is how the Pac-10 rolls.

My day was going so terribly bad….until now….:-)

if those people really supported Tennessee football, the players wouldn’t have had to ask for the money.

Straight pellets homey.

@KLB: That’s right! I blame the victims!

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk Vols

Kiffin said Richardson got a text message from Urban while he was meeting with his defense team.

26" rims on the Pruis?

@67 – I can’t decide if the proper sound effect is “PA-PLINK” or “PEW PEW” with shooter fingers.

I can’t take the “karma” retort seriously anymore after seeing it applied to Tim Tebow getting a concussion. The dregs of the Internet have claimed that one for all time now.

@67: I vote for “PEW PEW”.

I’m still holding out hope they got the wrong guys. Have you not seen the movie My Cousin Vinny?

Just wait until Mona Lisa Vito gets called as an expert witness to testify about how the tire tracks at the convenience store could not be those of a Prius.

I just can’t wait until Lil’ Wayne’s new single drops and we get to hear him rapping about “bustin’ a pellet in yo’ ass”.

@83 – the magic grits defense will carry the day.

(I am not getting any work done today)

This comment from Kiffin yesterday just makes it better: "Orgeron deals a lot with team discipline. "We’ve had zero arrests in now 11 months here." Doh!

@46 The " You can’t spell Pellet Gun without UT." is an instant classic!

PEW PEW has more of a laser gun connotation to me. (Now THAT would be awesome.)

Pellet gun & Prius = TRUE NINJA.

Lane Kiffin is working out a plea bargain with the DA to keep Janzen Jackson and let the other guys do time.

Can I get a Thank You Jesus!

That’s not a real gun, is it Clark?

Clark: Are you kidding? This is a Magnum P.I.

Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: It’s a BB gun!

Clark: Don’t tempt me. I could put an eye out with this thing.

Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: You couldn’t even break the skin with that thing. “It could get under the skin and cause a very bad infection.”

stupid nogs, this aint the hood they grew up in, they are lucky that pilot wasn’t packin his own heat like most TN folks do, they would have some pellets in them, NOT, bullets, they could not afford them thats right, hell who bought them the Prius, or was that stolen too

So are we talking “pellet gun” in the classic Daisy .177-cal flathead-lead-projectile sense, as purchased in bulk at Western Auto back in the day (YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT), or do we mean the sort of battery-driven airsoft gun that my mother-in-law chases

Come to think of it, does Sanrio even MAKE an airsoft gun?

Pellet gun & Prius = Access to prison, DENIED

…should finish “mother in law chases squirrels out of the back yard with.”

Sigh.

She’s gangsta, yo. Tampa ain’t playin’.

Maybe Lance Thompson should “build a fence” around Knoxville with barbed wire. RTR!

Tennessee’s must open in the Pistol formation Saturday….

I’m curious — did people actually think Richardson would be any good? His vids didn’t really suggest much… not that great of burst an stature obviously, overhyped big time

“Come to think of it, does Sanrio even MAKE an airsoft gun?”

Congratulations, you win the comment thread.

Oh dear Lord I hope LSUFreek sees that one.

Quoted from Volquest:

“I wonder if Nu’keese will get homesick in prison?”

Also, wtf is the rationale for robbing UT students at the stupid Pilot gas station on Cumberland Ave? Did they honestly expect to get away?

This is almost News of the Weird bad. I’m very disappointed in Kiffin. If we’re going to have Thug players come to our ThugU, I want actual gangstas not fake ones! And make sure they can actually catch the ball, too…

Tennessee is in the SEC right? Sounds like some 1/2 game suspensions are in order.

This is all just a continuation of the conspiracy… anyone know where Mike Slive was that night?

I just talked with the brothers in my office. They tell me that you get no street cred points for using a pellet gun as your piece and a Prius as your get-away sled. However, in the Fulmer (soon to be renamed Kiffin) Cup, you would get two points for each felony charge, and one bonus point for a really shitty escape vehicle that a police officer on horseback could have pulled over.

@68 – proper sound effect is P-F-F-T!! P-F-F-T!!!

honestly, this story just reeks of the smell of weed/brew and echos the sound of gangsta rap…

here’s what ya get for watching too many rap videos and not so many episodes of COPS

on the optimistic side… “hey guys!! we got three new schollies available….anyone interested?”

CLICK CLICK – P-F-F-T!!!

I think it is natural on one hand to think “what the fuck were they thinking???” and “those boys just screwed up their entire lives bigtime!” while on the other hand to absolutely revel in the irony foisted in the face of young kiffy’s self-righteous obnoxiosity. And I keep going back to “what the fuck…”, of course if they’d robbed kiffy, I’d be ok with that…hell, kiffy robbed UT himself…he sure couldn’t go to the cops…

The players should be suspended for two games. The woman driving the Prius should be stoned to death.

@84

That won’t work—under no circumstances will a Prius leave tire tracks of any kind.

When I heard they arrested 3 Tennessee guys for robbery, I instantly thought that it was Lane Kiffin, Coach O and Lance Thompson…for getting paid to impersonate coaches…..
Seriously….a Prius? So they are going “green” while smoking “green”? They would have gotten more street cred on a golf cart…Why didnt they just go to the boosters house who owns this Pilot station and knock on the door, he answers and they say “Hey, we play for UT, we are high as fuck, and we need about $30 bucks for snacks…” What we will see unfold here is that the one with the most talent(Janzen) will more than likely get suspended and be allowed to stay. I am sure Nu’keese will become someones Nu’Bitch while texting Meyer from prison…..The more I think about it, you really dont see that many black guys in rolling in a Prius….that would be something you would never expect, to get jacked by a Prius driver….the hardest part for all of these young men? Having to phone home and tell their parents that they are gay since they roll in a Prius…..
And do you think Lane Kiffin will want to meet the victims at Shoneys to discuss the details, like Fulmer did with that rape victim?

1. wins the thread.

Under normal circumstances, these three young men would have been joined by a fourth, level-headed friend, who would have talked them out of this ridiculous plan and led them back to campus for a midnight snack of cookies and milk.

But they weren’t. And why?

Because that sensible friend was aborted in 1991.

Good stuff on this thread. I thought I came up with the “SEC replay official” idea, but credit jefft85. My joke is : well at least these guys will probably get to keep wearing orange for the next few years.

Small animal drops crunchy pellets. Vols holster bunny guns. Cant robz any who got no money. No money to robz!!!!

No word on whether or not Urban Meyer was frantically trying to call Richardson during the WR’s visit to the Pilot store to disuade him from taking part. Guess we’ll have to wait for an impromptu moment in a Kiffy Kat press conference to find out if that would have been a violation…

I don’t know if we’re all seeing the same banner ads at the top of the page or if those are regional media buys or some weird thing like that, but mine is an ad for a FUCKING TOYOTA PRIUS!
If that was some smartass media buyer being funny, good on him.
If it was a “coincidence,” then it’s proof there’s a God.