TOMMY WEST FIRED HEY HERE’S YOUR NEW COACH
Tommy West fired at Memphis, but never fear Tiger fans, we have your replacement:
National title rings! A perfectly smooth bald head that can be used in a pinch as a whiteboard during meetings to save money on office supplies! 24 or so points of offense guaranteed per game, including the best offense between the twenty yard lines that money can buy! Success is spelled A-D-D-A-Z-I-O, Memphis. Call him soon. Hell, call him now oh please god won’t you. He’s just waiting by the phone for your offer, eating pieces of paper covered in diagrams of dive plays and planned sacks on third and goal.
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1
ALGator says:
Yeah.. that wouldn’t bother me….
November 9th, 2009 at 11:15 am
2
I'm A Lasagna Hog says:
Interestingly enough, the ad below the article featured a picture of a downward-trending bar graph. I’d offer to trade you for Bryan Stinespring, but I know it would not fix what ails us, either.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:17 am
3
zzgator says:
So the Memphis coach got Kiffin’d?
November 9th, 2009 at 11:17 am
4
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
Sorry O, but if they call someone on UF’s staff, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be someone you want to keep.
Now, if they need an excellent DBs coach and absolutely sterling DC background, Willie Martinez is ready. And, as a bonus, he’s an EEO hire!
November 9th, 2009 at 11:18 am
5
Leavitt Town says:
You can’t script redzone sacks any better than Addizio!
November 9th, 2009 at 11:20 am
6
Orson Swindle says:
Stoopnagle, we will get behind a joint Addazio/Martinez package for the benefit of both schools. If VT wants to get Stinespring in on this, not against that either. Only a team like that can get you back to the Magic Jack bowl.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:20 am
7
rjsplow says:
Unfortunately, if/when Addazio moves on, Florida will also lose their O-line coach. Now, after watching Florida’s line, composed of 4 and 5 star recruits, give up the 3rd most sacks in the SEC this season on a mobile, running quarterback that is by his stature extremely difficult to bring down one-on-one, I still find this idea relatively unfortunate seeing as Florida has consistently had one the best O-lines in the country under Addazio. This year being the exception…
November 9th, 2009 at 11:22 am
8
SydneyCarton says:
Fuck that. Greg Davis has been the mastermind behind some of the best offenses of the past decade in Texas, including the Top Scoring Offense in the country this year.
Hire him. Fucking hire him or I’ll kill someone (you). And I don’t even know who the hell (you) is in this instance.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:23 am
9
MrRedDevil says:
I’d even help Adazzio throw all his shit into a Mayflower truck. With a smile!
November 9th, 2009 at 11:33 am
10
SC'Eer says:
Memphis, may I offer a proven winner with a +.700 record and a down-home folksey charm?
Call Bill Stewart at West Virginia. Mention today’s ad special and get an OC thrown in for free.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:36 am
11
Ted Valentine says:
Yeah, its the OC taking those sacks, not a QB that’s a-skeered to throw the ball down the field and unable to make more than one read before the “run it” alarm goes off. Pity any NFL GM that drafts Tebow as anything more than a wildcat novelty toy.
P.S., Since this is the only time we get to talk Memphis football around here, the next coach is Buster Brown, Terry Bowden, rolling west on That Mean Ol’ Highway with hell on both ends and nowhere in between.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:36 am
12
MrRedDevil says:
@Ted Valentine: Yeah, because Tebow had all of those problems his first 3 years.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:39 am
13
Mark H says:
Now honestly, why would Memphis want to mess around with unproven coordinators like Addazio and Davis when there’s a perfect candidate out there who has already won a national title as a head coach? I’m talking about a coach whose offensive coordinating skills are so strong his team can go 9-1 even when it doesn’t have an offense to coordinate! Make the call to Iowa City, Memphis. Ken O’Keefe is your destiny.
November 9th, 2009 at 11:44 am
14
Yeah BoYeeEe says:
Dear Memphis,
I was wrongfully overlooked for the head coaching job at GT. I have a sterling track record for making big offensive plays happen, as you can see from this season. As a bonus I will shore up my defensive staff with my pals Willie Martinez to coach the secondary and Greg Robinson to have the co-defensive coordinator duties.
Waiting to hear from you,
Jon Tenuta
November 9th, 2009 at 11:44 am
15
Mr Dizzle says:
Charlie Weis for Memphis head coach! Imagine all the ribs! NOM NOM NOM NOM
November 9th, 2009 at 11:51 am
16
Boozy McHound says:
@ 11
+72 to you for the DBT reference.
November 9th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
17
Golden Hand says:
Sign Your School is a Coaching Graveyard: You used to have “State” in your name, but you took it out to seem more big-time.
November 9th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
18
WarChiziken says:
Hey, I want the job!!
Here’s my resume:
- Current Head Coach at UCF
- Only undefeated Coach at Notre Dame
- Took GaTech to the SuperBowl and won
- Direct hookup with COTG and BNTG to ensure wins
- Love ribs and barbeque
Signed
George O’Leary
November 9th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
19
VolunteerValtrex says:
Phillip Fulmer to Memphis.
November 9th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
20
Golden Hand says:
Oh, you Vols won’t be laffin’ so hard if Phat Phil DOES get the Memphis job, hires a bunch of good assistants, and whups Kiffykins. Talk about payback.
November 9th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
21
Ambitious Drinker says:
This isn’t intramurals. This is DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL BROTHER! Consequently, it’s clear that your program needs Hawk Love and needs it in the worst way possible (fortunately that’s the only way that shit is available).
November 9th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
22
TomReagan says:
Is Addazio answering Chuck Strong’s phone now?
All kidding aside, I’m hearing that, more and more, it’s looking like Andy McCollum.
November 9th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
23
Arp Brigade First Lieutenant says:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE:
1. Charlie Strong. Memphis is a chocolate city + Strong is from Arkansas = LET’S FUCKING DO THIS.
2. Phil Fulmer. Chances of this happening are just barely greater than a Fulmer-led Memphis beating UT, but the potential for pants-wetting hilarity is what makes this worth hoping for.
3. Willie Martinez. Held Tennessee and Tech combined to 0 points and 55 yards of total offense. On the same day! Seriously, if Monte Kiffin is the Google of Defense, then Martinez is, like, the Lycos. Or something. Anyway, sell high, Willie.
4. Pat Dye, Danny Ford, Bobby Bowden, Galen Hall — take your pick. Memphis is a dirty old town and these are dirty old men. Of course this would end badly — and, in Memphis, that’s the point.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
24
Nblue says:
Fat Phil at Memphis would be AWESOME. Love to see the story lines when he comes into Knoxville and kicks Lame’s ass.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
25
SC'Eer says:
bing, bing bing, winner @23
“Memphis is a dirty old town and these are dirty old men. Of course this would end badly — and, in Memphis, that’s the point.”
That’s my vote for best line of the day, and I’m sticking with it.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
26
aligator says:
please for god sake take adazzio, we can alwasy hire a new offensive coordinator, the guy who was urban’s old one at bowling green is available! charlie strong will not go anywhere unless it is a good program like UGA head coach or clemson or some shizzie …
November 9th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
27
James says:
Please. Be assured that Memphis will go as cheap as they can. They will offer Gus Malzahn and Tim Walton and both will probably say no. They might talk to Strong if they are smart, but they won’t pay near enough. They will probably end up with Steve Roberts or most likely, former Memphis player and current Les Miles right hand man Larry Porter. Before you laugh at them taking a position coach, he can recruit and he will be available cheaper than any of the other names on this list.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:00 am
28
Running Joe Rides Again says:
@27 Steve Roberts is likely to become available in the near future considering he’s getting run out of Jonesboro after this debacle of a season. But it does make things a bit better watching the red-headed stepchild of the Tiger High athletics program crash and burn.
November 11th, 2009 at 4:22 am