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CURIOUS INDEX, 11/9/09

HURRRNNNNGGGHHHHH. It the international noise of idiocy, and it's the noise you hear when you see USC ranked above Oregon (by a galling six spots in the coaches poll) after Oregon trashed USC last week in Eugene. The AP has the same error by three spots, but is operating on a bit more advanced credit than the Coaches Poll, the source of the easiest pointing and laughing this season in terms of random clueless voting due to old coaches phoning in their picks based on an outmoded understanding of the national picture. (Usually, by our counts, seeing the game as being stuck somewhere around 2004, following the universal trend of people being five years behind.)

fail2

Ho-hum. You know the Spurrier Bowl has lost its luster when even the Sun is looking forward to the SEC Championship game and ignoring the Old Master angle.

Oh, drat. The curse of having two huge cocks. Zach Collaros threw for 480 yards against UConn, meaning Cincy now has two quarterbacks who can turn the Cincy offense into a chump-slapping hellbeast bent on destruction. Hey, Norway found oil, Peter North just grew a second huge cock, and Christine Hendricks just won Powerball.

TAH-NOO-TAH BLITZ! RIGHT PAST FULLBACK! Indefensible is the right word, but mostly on the defensive side of the ball, where Jon Tenuta's defense made no adjustments to a Navy team all too happy to throw wrinkle after wrinkle at the Irish defense. Originally Tenuta seemed like the Hulk to us, but after watching fullbacks run undefended through the ND secondary, we revise: he's Drunk Hulk.

No, that's the way my biceps always look. Florida DE Justin Trattou is playing out the remainder of the season with a completely torn biceps tendon in his left arm. It looks great, however, because all the chicks dig it and see how in touch he is with his feminine side and the notion that beauty, darling, has to hurt. Surgery isn't necessary, so he's just gonna ride this one out because, you know, it doesn't really hurt and it's all for the team and whatnot. /trattouwinces //trattoucheckstoseeifgirlislooking

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Don’t worry Golden Domers, Tenuta was just doing his best Greg Robinson impression this season.

They both are hoping to land the linebacker coaching gig at UCSB next season. You know, because Cali is nice and all.

by Yeah BoYeeEe on Nov 9, 2009 8:24 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Speaking of Brandon Spikes’ horrific behavior in attempting to OMFG RIP OUT WASHAUN EALEYS EYES!

Here’s a pic which looks to prove Clemson DE Andre Branch doing the same thing to an FSU offensive lineman.

http://vmedia.rivals.com/uploads/1061/870123.jpg

Not that I care about the well being of FSU players, but one of the big talking points about Spikes was “it happens all the time and no one ever sees it.”

Here’s more proof of another player doing it, and i’m betting the media could care less.

by UFmegood on Nov 9, 2009 9:15 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Well, not as popular a snub by the drunken coaches filling out ballots, but 6-2 USF is ranked #24 while 7-2 West Virginia is ranked #23.

It was 1 week ago that USF beat WVU 30-19. USF had a by week and WVU beats soon to be 4-8 Louisville.

I think you should have to at least watch football to vote.

by Leavitt Town on Nov 9, 2009 9:21 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

@2 Meh, I’m gonna need to see video. By the still photo, Obama was checkin’ out that teenager’s ass, when the video showed he was just watching his footing on the stairs. That looks like a simple facemask grab, not a “shove in your whole hand and sweep back and forth” Spikes-type move.

We’ve really had an education on which ex-jock commenters were dirty players, though. That one ex-lineman who’s on CSS was a dirty sumbitch, based on his reaction/reminiscences, while Craig James must never have cheated at all.
My limited experience as a player is that dirty stuff happens in pileups, but it’s generally of the stomach-punch, nut-squeeze variety. Attempted eye gouging is not so common.

by Golden Hand on Nov 9, 2009 9:25 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

But if he bent his neck back any further, it could’ve snapped and paralyzed the lineman! FOUL PLAY IS AFOOT!

All i’m saying is that if talk radio/1st and 10/Mike and Mike/whatever sensationalized sports media outlet is going to talk about the Spikes incident for a full week, some assclown second string DE from Clemson should get the same treatment.

by UFmegood on Nov 9, 2009 9:31 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Speaking of being five years out of touch, it’s fun to read the Domer blogs, where they go on and on about how tough it is to lose to Navy, or get motivated to play Navy, compared to real games like Michigan. Navy would probably beat Michigan this year, and they have a better win-loss record, bowl record and every other kind of record than Notre Dame over the past five years.

by Golden Hand on Nov 9, 2009 9:37 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a better half of football than Zach Collaros in the first half of the UConn game. Unbelievable. I’m a believer that a starter doesn’t lose his job due to injury, particularly one of Tony Pike’s caliber, but this kid is doing everything right for the time being.

by Ohiodawg on Nov 9, 2009 9:39 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

  1. - Totally agree. Personally, I think ESPN just wants a ranked “showdown” to hype for Friday night.

by paco on Nov 9, 2009 9:46 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

“while Craig James must never have cheated at all.”

Other than cashing his Pony Express paychecks.

by gtne91 on Nov 9, 2009 10:02 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

@2

Oh MAaaAHH GAAaaAAWD!

Its egregious, Rick Trickett is about to call John Swofford and demand a suspension. Dabo Swinney is going to bench the kid for a quarter and then the kid will “man up” and suspend himself for the whole game.

This is an outrage!

by Yeah BoYeeEe on Nov 9, 2009 10:05 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

9

True. The 1983 NFL Strike was called when the NFL Players Union found out how much the players were getting paid at SMU & Clempson and struck for equal compensation.

by yoyofutbawl on Nov 9, 2009 10:09 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

As a neutral observer, the only thing more annoying than people overzealously attacking Spikes is Florida fans overzealously defending him.

by CincyJacket on Nov 9, 2009 10:11 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

BTW…got a high five from Mr. Spikes during the Gator Walk this past Saturday and am happy to report I survived unscathed. However, the high five from Timmy left my hand all tingly…I’ll report back when the tingling stops.

by zzgator on Nov 9, 2009 10:19 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Orson will recall after tOSU struggled in week 1 with Navy, that I predicted Navy would be 10-3 and give Notre Dame all they could handle. Navy lost their QB Ricky Dobbs to injury for a few games, one of which they lost. They got him back for their annual tussle with ND. ND was promised a "decided schematic advantage" by Charlie Weis when he was hired. Navy promised their recruits a 5 year commitment to serve. Navy won 23-21 with not one player that would have been recruited by ND. Navy (7-3) should win their last three games. They have already accepted a bid for the Texas Bowl. ND will steal a bid from a more deserving team, But first they have to go to Pittsburgh and let Wannstache beat them this week. My hope is they drop at least one more to UConn or Stanford for even more hilarity.

Now you know why Tenuta was not missed by GT. He made his bones beating ND, which has been shown to be not that difficult.

by Crabapple Buck on Nov 9, 2009 10:30 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Why is USC over Oregon a travesty, but tOSU over USC not?

And Stanford is not looking like a gimme game for either Notre Dame or USC this year.

by oc phil on Nov 9, 2009 10:43 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Crabbaple-

The “decided schematic advantage” must have something to do with laying out a kitchen. As for Navy, they beat WFU without THROWING A PASS. That’s even more embarrassing.

by yoyofutbawl on Nov 9, 2009 10:44 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

“As a neutral observer, the only thing more annoying than people overzealously attacking Spikes is Florida fans overzealously defending him.”

So Washaun Ealey, a Georgia running back, is a Florida fan? Who knew? From the AP:

“He shouldn’t, I think, get suspended at all. We were just out there playing football.”

Ealey said he had his eyes closed when Spikes stuck his hand in his helmet and he wasn’t hurt.

“He really didn’t gouge my eyes,” Ealey said. “He really didn’t get a chance to get close to my eyes.”

by DHC on Nov 9, 2009 10:46 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Crabapple Buck @ 14 – I’m with OC Phil on this point – if Notre Dame thinks they can get past Stanford without an almighty fight they are dreaming.

Re: Stanford, the worst case scenario for SC this season has come true: Harbaugh now has an actual QB to complement Gerhart, which means that SC won’t just be defending against Schembechler Jr. tactics this weekend. It is not going to be pretty.

by dc trojan on Nov 9, 2009 10:49 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

@14

So what you mean is Notre Dame will go 1-2 or 0-3 in their last 3 games and will land here in Charlotte stealing the ACC or Big East’s bid to the Meineke Car Care Bowl?

Yay, can’t wait for a ND-Rutgers or better yet ND-Wake Forest game to come to my homebase. Great showcase game.

by Yeah BoYeeEe on Nov 9, 2009 10:52 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Random shout out to Arizona State’s incredibly sexy defense against the Trojans. For those stuck in regional broadcast hell, USC only ran three total plays on the ASU side of the 50 all night and those were only because of an interception inside the 30. Their only scores were the long Williams play and a pick-six. Damn fine defense. Unfortunately Sparky is completely inept on offense.

And OC Phil, the tOSU-USC game happened, like, last year, man.

by Big Jon on Nov 9, 2009 10:55 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

@ 15 “Why is USC over Oregon a travesty, but tOSU over USC not?”

Because that was a close and boring game that could have gone either way. Oregon blew out USC. It wasn’t even competitive. Oregon was clearly the better team that night, while USC at Shitty school in Ohio could have gone either way.

by Leavitt Town on Nov 9, 2009 10:56 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

In my heart, I think ND goes 0 for November. Pitt, UConn, Stanford. With ND playing the way they do, and a lame duck coach, I can envision them losing the rest of the way. I thought UConn woould be the weak link, but their comeback at Cincy showed me they won’t roll over.

by Crabapple Buck on Nov 9, 2009 10:56 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

So, the Spurrier Bowl is upon us and it’s a yawner because South Carolina is still…well, South Carolina. Even after years worth of ministrations from MNC-winning coaches.

Could this possibly help put a dent in the insane coacholatry?

Nah. If the Gamecocks had only managed to hire Saban instead of Spurrier, surely they would have had eleventy championships by now…and if Alabama had been stuck with Spurrier, they’d be mediocre. ‘Cause as everyone knows, the right schemes will allow inferior talent to win more often than not—not that the players’ talent matters all that much anyhow, seeing as the coaching staff controls everything that happens on every play with their special real-life PlayStation controllers.

by Blog Goliard on Nov 9, 2009 11:03 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

P.S. to DHC @ 17: Way to prove the man’s point. (That is what you set out to do, right?)

by Blog Goliard on Nov 9, 2009 11:05 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Unfortunately for Pittsburgh (and UCONN) now that ND is out of a BCS bid, the bowl ND is most likely to steal is the Gator. Their officials have been lusting to get ND into their stadium for years on that Big East/Big 12/ND split offering. And this is the last year of that contract. So even if Pitt and UCONN both blast ND, they will get the Gator and Pitt will get the Mieneke (unless Pitt drops the Backyard Brawl).

by SC'Eer on Nov 9, 2009 11:19 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

19

With Charlie Tuna in Charlotte, Bojangles will reap record earnings.

by yoyofutbawl on Nov 9, 2009 11:28 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Oh good, it wasn’t eye gouging, it was only attempted aggravated eye gouging. lulz

by etsuVol on Nov 9, 2009 11:51 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

@etsuVol…and Peyton committed attempted aggravated sexual assault on that trainer.

See how we can do that?

lulz yoself

by zzgator on Nov 9, 2009 11:59 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

O, kudos on the Peter North reference.

by Croc on Nov 9, 2009 12:01 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

  1. -

If Notre Dame goes 7-5 and, let’s say Pittsburgh goes 10-2, the Gator Bowl cannot take Notre Dame. They have to be within two wins of the #2 Big East team to steal that spot.

by JD on Nov 9, 2009 12:08 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

JD @ 30
What you say is true, at 10-2 Pitt would be safe from a 7-5 ND grab of the Gator. But that would also mean I’ve already conceded the Backyard Brawl to Pitt.

by SC'Eer on Nov 9, 2009 12:40 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

I wonder if the GT vs. ND rivalry will be renewed anytime soon…

by jacketexan on Nov 9, 2009 12:54 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Rationalization is a sure indication that a fan base has thrown in the towel.

To wit: “Yes, they [Navy] ran for 350 yards. But overall yards for them wasn’t much more than they usually gain.”

Things are just not very good in Irishlandia.

by Counter Trap on Nov 9, 2009 1:16 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

  1. -

Or they could lose to WVU and then beat Cincinnati (not out of the question) to finish 10-2. Then there might – MIGHT – be two BCS teams from the Big East and West Virginia or USF would have to be 10-2 to keep a 7-5 Irish team out of Jacksonville.

by JD on Nov 9, 2009 1:25 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Crabapple – to add more intrigue to the ND/UConn matchup, just look-up who recruited and suited UConn’s starting QB his freshman year? That’s right – Zach Frazer was a Notre Dame Freshman. Then Mr. Clausen showed up and Zach moved down to fourth on the depth chart behind Sharpley (ND’s version of Brian Stith – the 8th year senior), Clausen and Demetrius Jones….

You think he won’t be “dialed in” for that game?

by atlantadomer on Nov 9, 2009 1:41 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

@17

“So Washaun Ealey, a Georgia running back, is a Florida fan?”

No, he’s just being a “tough guy.”

“Ealey said he had his eyes closed when Spikes stuck his hand in his helmet and he wasn’t hurt. ‘He really didn’t gouge my eyes,’ Ealey said. ‘He really didn’t get a chance to get close to my eyes.’

So the defense pleads “incompetence”?

by SonOfBuckeye on Nov 9, 2009 3:40 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

@28 zzgator

Were you the one who posted the video of the ohio state player choking a prone minnesota qb whose arms were pinned (for which Tressel awarded a pitiful one-game suspension)? The correct response to that is “Tressel should have booted him for the season,” not “dude wasn’t killed, what’s all the crying about?”

by SonOfBuckeye on Nov 9, 2009 3:42 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

@37 SonOfBuckeye…that was not me.

by zzgator on Nov 9, 2009 4:04 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

@35…and Demetrius Jones is now a linebacker for Cincinnati.

JIMMY would be the third string quarterback at Cincinnati. My how things have changed.

by ohiodawg on Nov 9, 2009 4:28 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

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