EDSBSGPS: WHERE WE AT, WEEK 10

On the couch, trying not to die. Help me Nyquil. You’re my only hope.

Same games as Orson, but I’m in Charlotte. Got my velour robe on and I’m eatin’ shrimp and grits.

Just add UNC/Duke to my plate. I gotta rep the alma mater and make sure we keep the bell. #readyfortheensuinghatefest

Watching gameday (laughing at the “THIS IS MANDATORY” sign, weak fan)… Starting the Sakerlina game on tv and then listening to the end on the way to the clemson/fsu game while drankin’ roadies… Playing catch up to reach a higher level of dumbassdrunkenessshittalkingabilities, but pulling for massive amounts of all purpose yards… Ready for my mind to be blown by the weak level of play, but high entertainment value of the limp wristed slap and tickle fight that is the gAyCC

Watchin the Hogs stomp the Cluckers, then RammerJammer, finishing up with Clemson likely shitting the bed at home.

I just had a horrifying thought. Alabama loses to LSU, Florida loses to somebody in the SEC championship game, and we are doomed to a Iowa/Texas national championship game.

Raycom Sports baby, UVA-Miami.

If anyone is on Google Wave, we have one going at https://wave.google.com/wave/#restored:wave:googlewave.com!w%252BUN4TApt-A.1 for all of today’s games.

Rick@5:

Please. Don’t even joke about that possibility.

@5 NOT FUNNY.

Darn straight, that’s a horrifying thought. I’m holding out for Iowa-TCU.

That interception had some swagga to it.

What I’d like to see happen would be for Alabama and Florida to win out, guarunteeing an unbeaten from the SEC; Texas defeated (go hook yourself, Longhorns!) in the most embarrassing fashion possible; Iowa, Cincinnati, BSU, and TCU to go undefeated…

And then to watch the total clusterfuck that would result.

Playoff bound, baby!

Harris, get well soon, sir.

At HQ Control here in the Metroplex.

The main event:

SEC Western Division Championship Game (LSU @ ‘Bama) – Just the thing to counteract the rest of today’s schedule. When Gary Crowton is relieved of his duties at the end of the season, this will be the game that caused said termination.

The undercard is made up of snippets of games here and there, highlighted by:

Morning Session:

Syracuse @ Wannstache – Mediocrity at its finest because of the Orange, although Stull is playing much better.

Afternoon Session:

tOSU @ Joe Pa – Paterno told the students at the Pep Rally last night not to boo when the Buckeyes enter the stadium. I think he forgets that when they are hearing this message they are still (relatively) sober.

Night Session:

Vandy @ Florida – No Spikes? No problem!

UCONN @ Cincy

Fresno State @ Idaho – As I stated last week: Kibbie Dome, bitches.

On The Menu: Grilled Chicken quenched with Stella Artois. Ah, the joys of multi-national beer company ownership.

I’m gonna say it: fuck playoffs.

Everyone thinks a playoff is a great fucking idea, but it will mean the NFLization of college football.

If it really matters to everyone that we know who the national champ is, mandate that no bowl games are allowed to happen after January 1st.

Then have your usual douchebags pick the top 2 after the bowls. They play 2 weeks later. Playoff!

9 years out of 10 this will be satisfactory. 1 year out of 10 there will be 3 worthy teams, giving people something to bitch about, which is major component of the college game.

Oh yeah:

I have no idea what games I’m gonna watch today. Its 7:41 am in Honolulu, and all I know for sure is that Oregon/Stanford is on at 10:30. I have digital cable, ESPN Gameplan and the Oceanic Time Warner Sports Pak. I get ‘em all, I have a remots. And I have alot of alcohol lying around the house. After I’m done watching football, I’m going to the beach.

Fuck you all, if you were smart like me you would have this life.

@AZDuck I hear you big man

DA UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UVA #38

How does your brain feel?

Stanzi out with an injury. Return unknown. NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Northwestern-Iowa.
Then onto Stanford Stadium. GO DUCKS!
Then…Vandy-Florida? Maybe?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

IOWA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

NORTHFUCKINGWESTERN

AT IOWA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCK THEM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

INDIANA IS SMILING NOW

Lou Holtz : Snakes :: Henry Kissinger : Soviets

NW 17, Iowa 10

Will the Big 10 refs put their thumbs on the scale two Saturdays in a row?

I don’t see Iowa wiggling their way out of this one.

Sorry for any anxieties I may have caused for anyone.

I do hope Iowa wins this game, though. Because it would be hilarious.

Okay, I know it’s only Furman, but Auburn has 415 yards at HALFTIME. Bring it, Georgia.

oh em gee 4th and 2

The thing that would suck about Iowa losing is that they’d probably lose to Ohio State next week, and if the Buckeyes beat Penn State the door is wide open for them to once again get the shit kicked out of them in a BCS game and embarrass the Big 10 in front of everyone.

NW-Iowa: an epic battle of two mediocre teams.

JD-

You say that like its a bad thing.

I might add that now we know why Stanzi was allowed to continue playing even though he isn’t very good. It’s because Vndenberg is even worse 9-for-27 for 82 yards and a pick. Yikes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suh1dj2P1rM

@31 Lou Holtz says it was the crosswind. You can’t argue with Lou Holtz.

Wish Navy gives ND a game.

So does Stanzi lose his “Just Tits” rating after his fumble which jump-started Northwestern’s chance to pull off the win? And should Chris Todd’s rating be upgraded? Because those “Sad Droopy Tits” are looking like they got implants today.

The Not-wind: it’s like the Not-light: dark.

3 straight in Kinnick

8 of the past 12.

I hope Iowa is undefeated every year going into the NU game

Verne Lundquist looks more and more like Jabba the Hutt every week.

LSU-Bama startin’ up, wonder if Verne will be mentioning the incarceration status of anyone with any association to either team today?

17.5 = over/under Verne Lundquist sensationalized “mount cody’s” robust figure.

I find myself picking games based on an sec champ vs nonAQ bcscg. Not for playoff system hype, simply for
laughs

GO DUCKS

Note: we started this game like we did against Cal. Gave the Bay Area team awesome field position to start the game, then the defense held them to a field goal. Hopefully we reel off an assload of points now like we did with the Berkeley Bears.

I’m impressed. Michigan got themselves GERG’D even though GERG is not actually the head coach.

So LSU are continuing the Thomas Parsons Project at FB.

BEEEEEEEEEEEES are getting stuck in the ooze of Wake Forest LB Gelo Orange.

LSU up 7-0. Leigh Tiffin will have to kick at least three field goals.

Hey ND D coordinator- I think they are going to run it. Not sure if the tapes of Navy and the first half gave it away. But thats cool stay with the QB the whole time… its working.

@carolina girl

So what you mean is that Navy has some sort of slight lean towards running the football? That’s crazy talk. That’d be like Texas Tech throwing a lot or Florida running the baby rhino in short yardage situations.

Texas Tech throws a lot? Wow I had no idea. Bet Notre Dame doesn’t either.

The Beeees aren’t looking so hot.

They most certainly could use a dose of defense.

BEEEES also having a huge problem with penalties:

roughing the kicker, roughing the passer, chop block, and a 60+ yard WR reverse for a TD wiped out due to holding

ND under Weis summed up in two plays.
   - Clausen scrambles, gets nailed, fumbles at the 2 yd line.
   - Then Navy rushes for 40 yards from their own goal line on a FB dive.
ND Football: This Decade in Schadenfreude

(apologies to Brian Cook)

Minny tore my heart out with a halfhearted comeback against a team we should have beaten, then stopped trying and laid down for a single-score loss. Again.

This team is going to give me a heart attack and/or turn me into (more of) an alcoholic.

BEEEEEEEES seem to love the third quarter heroics, dwyer with a 59 yard td rush up the middle on GT’s first play of the second half to tie the game up

Fuck this. If ND is going down to FUCKING NAVY, then I want a 40-point blowout. Leave no fucking doubt that Cheeseburger Charlie needs to pack his shit and go. He pulled the program out of the abyss, but he is clearly not the man to make them a national power again.

He won a lot of games with Willingham’s players, then lost to Navy twice. That’s pulling a program out of the abyss?

( WANTS HATEMAIL )

“Alabama has gotten the lead back.” -Lundquist

Um, when did bama have the lead before? I guess when you’re tied at 0-0, it’s consider a lead if you’re bama…

This Navy game is fun until I realized this allows the Gator Bowl to take a shitty 7-5/8-4 ND team over whichever 10-2/11-1 team loses the Cincinnati-Pittsburgh game.

WOOO SAFETY. Best possible way to choke the life out of a comeback and a fanbase. Oh I could think about this all day with a shit-eating grin.

Okay, that guy had no pinkie. I cannot be the only one who saw this.

Am I drunk or did that guy have zero pinky fingers on his hand

Was that dude missing a pinky? Nice recover on that one.

no pinkie…..yes i saw it too even though i’m drunk on beer, chili, and the tears of irishmen…

Looks like Saban handed the officials his Mike Slive-issued “No Holding Penalties called on Offensive Line” card…sheeesh.

@63, they get away with it so much…

Meanwhile, Oregon is getting annihilated by freaking STANFORD.

Goddammit, why will USC and Ohio State just not die? At this rate they’re going to be playing in the Rose Bowl again and making us all angry and sad.

Wow, guess Penn State is getting a bitch-slap from Karma for the whole Terrelle t-shirt thing.

Guess what the Redneck Rocker is doing tonight?

ROCKIN!!!

JD, Pete Carroll wins forever, even when he loses…

Somebody at the Richmond-‘Nova game doesn’t realize he’s on an open mic. After Richmond missed the GW FG, somebody says, “What a bum! End this fucking game already.”

Stick a fork in LSU, because they look like they’re done…

Calls like that will not quiet the conspiracy theorists, SEC.

Oregon’s James needs to speak to Phil Knight about the butter Nike’s putting in his gloves.

….why even waste our time with instant replay anymore?

Curious to see whether Les Miles will risk 30 large by throwing out some “We got jobbed by the officials” comments. And after that no-call facemask by Bama, I wouldn’t blame him.

LSU got robbed. Police describe the offender as a middle aged white male wearing white pant and a black and white striped shirt.

Oregon falls? Iowa falls? Notre Dame falls? Oh, how the chaos is beginning to calm in BCS-land.

DUCK IT, SUCKS!

Roll tide roll…..finally got the ball to julio, good things happen….looking forward to seeing Tebow again…..

Yeah, we decided we had had enough of the Boise/Oregon debate. The best way to end
Boise’s chances was to nobly and heroically fall to Stanford, thereby pulling Boise’s SoS
into the gutter (where Oregon’s D also felt like spending the Saturday).Take that, BOISE!!!!

Sigh.

The Cardinal played lights out and kicked Oregon butt from CA to Eugene. Well done, Luck, (hell,
his name shoulda been a clue) played sensationally all afternoon. And Turbo Toby piled it on.
Thus we return to our normal Oregon football fan state of end of season despair, panic and
gloom (shakes fist at cruel, cruel football gods) following season-long euphoria.

Freaking Pac 10 parity. Who said this was a good idea?

what was final penalty totals in the LSU-Bama game. at one point it was 7 LSu to 1 Bama. It isn’t that one team doesn’t desserve their penalties, it is the fact the refs aren’t even looking at the other team.

Notre Dame, Iowa, Oregon, and Penn State all losing is probably the worst possible result for the Orange Bowl

Are there any teams that will be left for them to select that could bring 40k+?

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/1107/ncf_a_clausen12_288.jpg
sums up the ND game.

Roll Tide!!

@79: tell that to the folks in Athens, where UGA was flagged 11 times, today, to TnTech’s 2, IIRC. This conspiracy goes even deeper than we thought.

As a Bama fan I’m officially joining the side of the morally ambiguous. Fuck it, if the bad/missed/blatantly fixed calls benefit MY team, I’m good with it.

Up until the SECCG, when the officials will earn fat 30K bonuses for assuring a Florida win.

Viva la Conspiracy!

End of the 1st Quarter of the Florida Vandy game gives us the 15th gratuitous shot of Brandon Spikes. He seems to have been forced to drop the American Taliban look. People will forgive a little gouging when you look so fresh and so clean, so clean clean.

Praying for Jahvid. All the best, dude!! Make it through!!!!!

Tennessee is face raping Memphis.

Paul Johnson’s balls are bigger than yours.

I’m in Charlotte, and I was on call today so after 3.30 all phone calls were answered with “I am still at work so don’t you DARE tell me anything about the game. How can I help you?”. I just finished the game (back home now) and I just took my first full breath in hours. I’m going to end up with an ulcer by Christmas, minimum.

@86 woah for real no way

Bama’s D looked confused when Lee came in the game. But really, interception or not, does anyone seriously think Cap’n INT brings the tiggers back?

@89
Eat a dick Rick. Last year the Vawls lost to Wyoming…so any blowout is a pleasant surprise to me.

Breaking news:

PAUL JOHNSON HAS BALLS OF STEEL.

That is all.

Meg @ 79 – LSU had 8 for 58 Yards, ’Bama 4 for 22 Yards.

Good Lord, this is indeed a mediocre football Saturday.

Florida returns to a mediocre effort on offense now that they’re back to facing a good defense. Not going to get much better against South Carolina.

I remember counting all the uncalled holdidng penalties that Tennessee got away with during their 6 or 7 year winning streak against the Tide.

It’s easy to focus on a few missed holding calls when your offense can’t move the ball consistently and your D can’t stop the run.

It may have been an INT, but there wasn’t irrefutable evidence.

Either way, LSU had three chances to score in the 4th quarter and got a total of 9 yards.

One more shot wasn’t going to make the difference.

95 – No, no, the quality of the opposing defense has nothing to do with it. Addazzio was just really, really pissed about scoring more than thirty and vowed to not let it happen again.

And GT racks up another transitive win over Florida.

I kid. I kid. Our D wouldn’t stand a chance.

@ 96

That’s not entirely true. At the of the INT, or what I thought shouldn’t been an INT, it was still and one procession game. You know as well as I do that the dynamics of your play calling and your aggression change when you driving a short field to win the game as opposed to being down 2 scores with 3 minutes left.

having just watched the FL/Vandy game, I have the following to report:
1. of the nineteen humans in the house, the only people left awake after the third quarter were the under-9 set, me, and my buddy’s rambling, insanely drunk aunt.
2. this had nothing to do with the beer
3. STEVE ADDAZIO HAS BEEN GIVEN TO US TO MAKE US REALIZE JUST HOW BORING A FOOTBALL GAME CAN BE
4. Florida has officially become the mid-90’s Nebraska team that everyone loves to hate/fear.

that is all.

@95 “now that they’re back to facing a good defense.” – too funny! Sakerlina will come ready to play, but honestly, short of a complete melt down, the Gators can handle that. I do so love these games (rag all ya want fans of other teams, but admit it, the weeks where you can relax a bit more and not push your nervous system to point of stroke is a welcome relief…or, maybe this work week was just too insane for me?) either way, I’m drinkin’ and all is well for Gators and in Titlesville. Gooo Gators!

@ 87:

Yours? yes.

Mine? not so much.

/s/

Ken NEE – uh – MAT – uh – LOH – LOH

You all miss a world-class reverse jinx on Tulsa during the Houston-Tulsa broadcast. The CBS College Sports announcer started going crazy about “Houston’s going to lose! Tulsa wins!” after the Cougars got stopped on the 2-pointer. Whoops.

While I got to watch a defensive battle from the big 12, I missed a real life game of NCAA 10 in Cincy

Kevin@LSU- I wanted to catch the Cincy game as well- no go on Verizon FIOs in Tampa (and wth, I spend way too much on mucho canales de television- sucks)

Weis: “One thing they know about me is that I never change.”

Change in style? Never.
Change in location? About that…

I would like to be the first to fire up the “Urbs to ND” rumors, to start a distraction for the SECCG, since its hiring/firing season in the next few weeks, and Tubbs to Virginia looks like a reality…..and Auburn still sucks….

Weis has decreed he “will never change”.

Charlie, that’s not what the ND trustees wanted to hear.

There’s a 99% chance that ND starts begging Brian Kelly to come save them as soon as the regular season ends.

look, i know it’s hours later, but that guy had no pinkie.

Mike Slive is the Vince McMahon of college football. It’s weird that the cajuns haven’t already arrived at his office with pitchforks (though the smell of fried cornmeal would probably tip him off and allow him to slip out through his escape tunnel).

AZDuck says:
“NW 17, Iowa 10
Will the Big 10 refs put their thumbs on the scale two Saturdays in a row?”

They weren’t able to get the FL v Ark or Tenn v Bama officials on the phone to figure out the best way to do it.

On the good side, now the Big 10 analysts can spend all week debating who shit the bed worse – Iowa v NW or OSU v Purdue.

Poor Oregon. Such potential. Every year such high expectations. They are like the Georgia Bulldogs but with 4 dozen ugly uniform color combinations.

@113:

I’m not as bothered as you’d think. We still control our own destiny for the Rose Bowl.

This year’s team features 3 starting seniors. LaMichael James and Jeremiah Masoli are both underclassmen – Masoli is a Junior, James is a RS freshman.

We have some true freshman WR’s who will hopefully develop by next year, as well as some young talent on the DL and all the injuries in our defensive secondary. Next year is really our year to shine, but the schedule is tougher (@ USC, @ Cal, @ Tenn, @ Oregon State).

The other shitty thing is that I will be in Iraq.