Urban Meyer has been fined $30,000 for his comments about SEC officiating, the logical endpoint of the SEC backing itself so far into a corner re: officiating. As Holly suggests, the proper greeting to this (as it is for so many things) is a thoroughly lazy wanking motion in the direction of the SEC offices, but not so for Meyer. He still has to pay the $30K, but no one has defined form of payment.

We have suggestions.

–7 freshly circumsised and adoptable Filipino baby boys. (No questions asked.)

tim-tebow-urban-meyer
“Yeah, seven. But it’ll cost you. Bob Tebow Ministries doesn’t run on prayer and happy thoughts alone.

–600,000 nickels delivered in cheap garbage bags.

–1749 copies of this (ON SALE) classic by seven-time Pulitzer Prize Winner and astronaut Mike Freeman.

–Check written from his Cayman Islands account. (Takes days to clear, sure to draw IRS audit.)

–Three live Siberian Tigers. Black market prices, and surely available on a moment’s notice in Miami.

–Coupon for five favorable calls made by SEC referees in the game of their choice.

All are roughly equivalent to $30K or so, and should suffice in making Mike Slive feel more Roger Goodell-ish by the moment.