CURIOUS INDEX, 11/4/09

by Orson on Nov 5, 2009 9:29 AM EST Comment 22 comments

SINGLE TEAR LULZ. We hope there's space in the Musee D'Orsay, because we're hanging this there whether they like it or not.

Block C tracks down the geniuses behind this piece of breathtaking artwork, presumably showing Hillary Swank with a wig and the facepaint from an Empire of the Sun video on watching Bobby Bowden walk into the sunset with suitcases full of Florida State's money.

Spikes, full game. Brandon Spikes is out for the entire Vandy game in order not to be a "distraction." In response, Lane Kiffin continues to make us love him just a little bit:

"I did see the rerun," Kiffin said. "It was pretty bad but we'll worry about our team and what we can control. We've got a lot of work to do. Obviously, he'll discipline his team - or not - however he feels."

No, that a royal we. He'll play a vital part and will respond by hiring his close personal friend Chuck Amato, an innovative young coordinator and recruiter who also brings the novelty of being the only three-breasted coach in college football.

OH SCOTT JURGENSEN I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I AM ACTUALLY GONNA MURDER YOU. Urban Meyer, a real stickler, could face some kind of real live disciplinary action from the SEC for his complaints about officiating, though we can't imagine it coming in the form of a suspension. If Charlie Strong is the head coach for a suspension, you will know it by the sight of Steve Addazio being thrown off the side of Vandy's stadium. (Not because we know about any personal beef, but simply on the principle of Addazio's unacceptably low asskicking quotient this year.)

The redemption of the Dennis Dixon curse. If anyone should be allowed to get silly early about a possible national title, it's Oregon, who is certainly owed some back credit by the college football universe for the heinous case of Dennis Dixon and the slight flick Crazy Old Testament God gave his ACL two years ago. Without that Dixon is a clearcut Heisman winner and the Ducks' ambition knows no bounds, so in repayment for that go ahead and look forward to the eventual gutting of whatever Big Ten team you face in the Rose Bowl. (Unless it's Iowa, where you lose despite having 600 yards of offense and allowing less than 250 yards total to the Hawkeyes. You have no choice.)

Ohio State Throwbacks: Ohio State throwbacks are like a degree past throwbacks, since Ohio State's already so blue-ribbon retro in everything they do (down to, you know, what they actually do on the field) that throwback doesn't quite cover what an Ohio State retro jersey truly is. Pleistocene would be a better word, but whatever you call it it will look quite awesome versus Michigan.

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Kiffin makes me laugh. He also taking years of Urban Meyers life.

by Kevin@LSU on Nov 5, 2009 9:36 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

In regards to the pic of Osceola as “Hillary Swank with a wig and the facepaint”

Ouch!

Hilarious.

by tzubear on Nov 5, 2009 9:42 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Oh please, please let Bobby annoint Chuck the Chest as Mickey’s replacement. His years in the triangle weren’t enough. Perhaps he’ll break out special edition garnett shoes with gold laces!

And my oh my oh Kiffykins sure knows how to dig it in.

I’m sure the praise for Spikes’ “self suspension” will pale in comparison to the outrage over the act so I’ll say kudos to the kid if for nothing more than taking some heat off the program.

Last point: How big of a sac does Slive have? Its only Vandy so will he nut up?

by Yeah BoYeeEe on Nov 5, 2009 9:44 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

“Lane Kiffin continues to make us love him just a little bit”

Of course you do. The SEC needs it’s coaches conduct themselves with bitchiness, douchbagery, and general antisocial behavior.

Otherwise the fans will have to generate drama.

by tzubear on Nov 5, 2009 9:49 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

South Carolina…where once great Seminoles come to die.

by slingle on Nov 5, 2009 9:52 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Can we please stop talking about “The Great Gouge of aught nine”? When Ealey spoke, it was over.

(OS, I know you want to stop….I’m talking about the reporters that keep this issue alive…I know some of them visit EDSBS…..)

by Sean Glennon's Jersey on Nov 5, 2009 9:54 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

“…without that Dixon is a clearcut Heisman winner… "

That’s a pretty stupid comment. Remind me of what the TD record Tebow set that year was?

by You should go to Vanderbilt, son, you'll make more money on Nov 5, 2009 10:03 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Dennis Dixon’s ACL shredding and the Ducks loss to ASU just made sense for the Old Testament plague that ravaged our sense of the universe in the 2007 season…

by beckett929 on Nov 5, 2009 10:04 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

The fine people of the Pacific Northwest have not forgotten the end of the 2001 season either, if we want to talk about bad BCS karma.

by Erik on Nov 5, 2009 10:17 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Otherwise the fans will have to generate drama.

I had my hand on that grapefruit at the grocery store first, tzubear.

by Tim James on Nov 5, 2009 10:25 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Well it’s in my basket now Tim James.

by tzubear on Nov 5, 2009 11:00 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Lane Kiffin? Hell, I like him. He can come over to my house anf fuck my sister.

by ALGator on Nov 5, 2009 11:01 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

“Steve Addazio being thrown off the side of Vandy’s stadium…”

The game’s in Gainesville, which will mean a much longer plummet for Addazio. I mean, instead of just picking himself up and dusting himself off, we’re talking watermelon-on-pavement stuff here.

Which might be OK with me.

by ESMjr. on Nov 5, 2009 11:18 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Thank Jebus that tOSU never wore black. If we are going retro, at least our unis will have a look that you wll be able to identify it as Ohio State. Of course, it is against Michigan. So you will be able to distinguish it by the large margin on the scoreboard in favor of the Bucks. I have no idea what the biggest loss* is for UM in Ann Arbor, but I think we may find out on 11/21.

*Biggest in terms of margin. Appalachian State will always be the ‘biggest’ loss, by the smallest school.

by Crabapple Buck on Nov 5, 2009 11:26 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Lane Kiffin might just be the personality the SEC needs en route to becoming the XFL.

In a few years, we’ll have the coaches meet at mid field before the game and give a 5 minute monologue to the fans, hyping everyone up for the game. Maybe the coordinators will sneak up behind the other coach and hit them in the back with a folding chair. Who knows.

by UFmegood on Nov 5, 2009 11:49 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

I would like to see Lane Kiffin have some sort of Howard Dean moment where we all go from nodding and laughing and shaking our fists at him to extreme confusion about how bizarre he is.

by Tim James on Nov 5, 2009 12:00 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

you made me do this, orson.

http://s640.photobucket.com/albums/uu123/iplay4soup/?action=view&current=coachchuck.jpg

by brady quinn, medicine woman on Nov 5, 2009 12:02 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

I thought that it was a foregone conclusion that Chuck Amato would get the DC position when Mickey Andrews retired. I mean, after he got fired from NCSU, FSU brought him in with one of those Associate/Assistant Head Coach titles, didn’t they? And being personal friends with the heir-apparent is a big plus.

I just wish WVU could get Rick Trickett back away from the ’Noles. Not to take anything away from White, Slaton and Schmidtt, the O-lines Trickett built with undersized 2 and 3 star players were, IMHO, the biggest reason for our 11 win seasons.

by SC'Eer on Nov 5, 2009 12:13 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

::air-hump::

(Because I needed something else to look forward to on November 21st.)

by BuckeyeMeg60626 on Nov 5, 2009 1:08 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

I think that Washaun actually asked Mr. Spikes to spare his retinas the abortion that was the “Grambling” look Georgia pulled out of Jim Donnan’s ass for the WLOCP this year. See, Brandon was trying to be a good citizen.

If we’re going XFL, then I’d much rather have Mark Richt leading some sort of WWE pep rally from the midfield stripe than break out the Las Vegas Outlaws unis. “HE HATE ME.”

Fuck Lance.

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Nov 5, 2009 1:44 PM EST reply actions 0 recs