CURIOUS INDEX, 11/3/09

Hulk Ape says good morning.

hulkaperockyeah

It's the pathos on his face that makes it, as if someone had found the correct fixed mix of horror and delight necessary to properly reflect what a football fan at an Iowa football game sees on a weekly basis. (HT: Doc Saturday.) Hawkeye State reminds you that as improbable as Iowa's season has been, the numbers get even longer when you look at the rest of their schedule and the crux of the thing, the Ohio State game.

Forget that, if the Hawkeyes' last win in the Horseshoe were a person, it would now be old enough to vote. Forget that Iowa has won twice in Columbus in the last 50 years. Forget the sound, the fury, the sheer terror of Ohio Stadium as the cold November sun disappears and the grey sky turns black (not that Joe Tiller could) and focus on this fact: Kirk Ferentz has never done this.

Which won't stop Iowa from doing it despite Ricky Stanzi throwing nine interceptions, because they'll block three punts, pick Terrelle Pryor off after a pass ricochets off a tuba player, and generally defy the laws of physics in doing so.

Knees of the ACC won't be sending cards. Mickey Andrews, longtime defensive coordinator for Florida State, will likely leave after this season. Andrews, the sunflower seed-chomping angry frog god on the sidelines for Florida State, has at this point coached two full generations of players in Tallahassee, and takes his one degree of separation from Bear Bryant with him. He's leaving after Florida State's worst defensive year in recent history, but respect the once-sharp sword of an enemy: his defenses at their best were maiming devices designed to cripple quarterbacks and hammer anyone daft enough to touch the ball.

What makes Rick Neuheisel a sympathetic, albeit still beautiful scoundrel? Complaining from parents of players, of course.

"UCLA under Coach Rick (Neuheisel)….is horrible. Wayne Moses the running back coach is horrible. The sets are Pop Warner in movement, motion, and slots. I mean a Pop Warner type offense that Tim Tebow would laugh at.

FUCK YOU BUDDY.

Ninja confirmed. Joe Cox, still the starter at Georgia despite spitting up interceptions like Chris Rix strapped into a paint mixer.

White girls of Nashville, prepare thyselves. Chris Rainey was in a sling on Monday, but the Florida running back could play against Vandy on Saturday.

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