The draft follows, along with notes. You’ll hate it, because it’s a poll, and how dare you [holy shit polling complaints are as tiresome compaint goes here.] For the eleven millionth time: due to editing during the draft and saving it, the arrows indicating change in position MAY NOT REFLECT CHANGES FROM LAST WEEK. Don’t let that stop you from complaining about HURR HOW DID YOU MOVE HOUSTON UP 11 TORCHES OUTRAGE GRRRR??!?!??! Never mind the deltas, in other words.

Rank Team Delta
1 Texas 1
2 Florida 1
3 Alabama 2
4 Iowa
5 Cincinnati
6 Boise State
7 TCU 1
8 Oregon 1
9 Georgia Tech 1
10 Penn State 1
11 LSU 1
12 Houston 11
13 Miami (Florida)
14 Southern Cal 5
15 Ohio State 4
16 Utah 1
17 Pittsburgh 3
18 Notre Dame 2
19 Wisconsin
20 Oklahoma State 7
21 Virginia Tech 6
22 Oklahoma
23 California
24 Arizona 3
25 Brigham Young
Last week’s ballot

Dropped Out: South Carolina (#18), West Virginia (#20), Mississippi (#22), Clemson (#24).

Si, Tejas. They looked the best and played a team without Joe Cox playing quarterback, a team that has Zac Robinson, a real live boy unlike Richtetto’s albino puppet son. Upon losing in Jacksonville Cox was kidnapped by a cruel carnivale, and was forced to perform giddy little musical numbers to crowds of drunken peasants who delighted in his almost lifelike actions. Only late at night, sleeping in a small patch of moonlight on his cage floor, would he recall the kindness of his maker and father. In this version of the story, Coxocchio is eaten by a huge whale named Carlos Dunlap, and suffocates in his belly.

So, yeah. The quality opponent makes a difference here, and they could flip-flop just as easily over the next few weeks.

Boise still over Oregon. Were it not for the head-to-head, we’d have Oregon over them after the Dishumilarassment of USC this weekend, but that’s all we have to go on: what actually happened on the field. The rest is just guesswork based on perceived goodness and the assumption that Iowa has a cornfield of cult-children casting powerful runes to protect their every play this season. Hezekiah, a fifth interception! Fetch the young schoolchild! Their innocent blood will guide Stanzi’s hand in victory. Enoch! More nachos!

The rest: Bloody mess. Get to the bottom and do your own 18-25 and find sheer arbitrary shuffling in every direction. HOW COULD YOU because after a certain threshold in the mid-teens they are all the same team: error-prone, saddled with two losses, and deciding internally between a bowl game named after an insurance, financial services, or tech company or one named after a household product or truck stop.