CURIOUS INDEX, 10/30/09

by Orson on Oct 30, 2009 7:00 AM EDT

And that happened. Butch Davis punted last week with three and change left in the game against Florida State, hoping for a courteous NFL-style three and out before getting a game-winning kick opportunity, because that is how things happen in a very conservative football coach's onboard football simulator. Florida State went off-program, picked up a first down, and UNC never saw the ball again.

With five minutes and change left and trailing 17-14, Davis changed the code against Virginia Tech and went for it on 4th and 7 from the VT 36. Yates, 19 yard completion to Greg Little, and the game-tying field goal. Butch Davis is a machine that learns, and after a forced fumble on Hokie RB Ryan Williams UNC took their leisurely time in running down the clock (SHOOP!) and kicking the winning field goal to beat VT by the default ACC score of 20-17. Williams looked in need of specific electronic diversion on the sidelines after the fumble.

Nothing has changed everything is great business is good life is fine puppies are cute. Florida offensive coordinator Steve Addazio on the offense that has not changed not one bit nope.

"We're calling the same plays," Addazio said. "There are no different plays being called. It's the same pass routes, the same combinations. Where the ball goes is based on what the coverage is. I'd like to tell you there's something different, but it's not.

Smart Football all but agrees while highlighting the protection meltdowns happening to Florida in the red zone, something opponents have exploited with not one but multiple looks. Willie Martinez plans to take advantage of this weakness by hanging back in a loose zone, and staring intently as his safeties chase the opening flyover jets to the horizon and fail to return for three quarters. (They're like spaniels! Adorable, and easily distracted.) The numbers for both Florida and Georgia ain't pretty in any respect, and there's all the proof you could possibly need.

One dollar, please.Georgia and Florida pay one American dollar in stadium rental fees. In addition to that significantly discounted rent (down from $100K at one point,) the City of Jacksonville will pay to have three 50 seat private airplanes fly Georgia directly from Athens to St. Augustine for the game to counter the built-in travel advantage Florida has in the rivalry. Benefits for the Gators include not moving the game from its spot located a convenient bus ride from campus, and an option to use a twelfth man without penalty in every third quarter of every Georgia/Florida game through 2018. Slipped that one in at the last minute, Subsection 18 Clause D, right under the provision of a litter chair to carry Vince Dooley around on gameday like a bronzed idol. Clearly, at one point in the negotiations, someone cracked a tank of ether in the room and things got a bit sideways, because everything from subsection 12 down is quite dodgy even by our standards, frankly.

Out: Nigh-uncoverable USC TE Anthony McCoy, out for the game against Oregon in Autzen. He will have to cheer on the Trojans from the sidelines in vain, and we say in vain because at 127.2 decibels people standing within a feet of him will not be able to hear him. Stadium architects: do whatever they did at Autzen, make it seat 90-100K, and then start adding important elements like huge plumes of flame wherever possible.

I can talk like this all day. Sure, Dan Hawkins is dead, but the question is about whether he is walking dead, zombiefied, or terminally ill in the vocational sense. The Daily Camera has the full video of this week's press conference, and if you recognize the face from your last, desperately optimistic days at a hopelessly doomed job or from the worst self-justifications from a carcass of a relationship, and you would be about right. Watching the full video is excruciating because Hawkins clearly cares, is clearly still working his ass off, and is mired in a heaping pile of FAIL he cannot extricate himself from in time to save himself and his staff. He may be saved still by coaches' last resort, aka "The Inability of the University to Buy Out the Coach Due To Brokeness."

Tweet Comment 30 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Appreciate RTT’s effort on the red zone stats, though their assumption that it’s merely Percy Harvin that is affecting the Gators’ results is an analysis that’s about 2 months old.

by Tim James on Oct 30, 2009 7:21 AM EDT reply actions

Any team forced to wear uniforms as ugly as VT’s last night deserves to lose. They make Clempson’s purple ones look almost palatable. Maybe.

by yoyofutbawl on Oct 30, 2009 8:38 AM EDT reply actions

Florida’s twelfth man wears black and white stripes.

by Crabapple Buck on Oct 30, 2009 9:24 AM EDT reply actions

Purdue blog, Boiled Sports, thanks you for posting about the Purdue chant yesterday….I think???

http://www.boiledsports.com/2009/10/edsbs-proves-sec-is-sometimes-slower.html

by SEC Blogs Is Slow on Oct 30, 2009 9:27 AM EDT reply actions

Florida’s fabulous fullback at quarterback – great when he had his entire wits about him, but post-concussion Tebow seems a half-step slow and a bit more dim-witted on making the quick and correct reads. He needs a few more weeks to fully recover.

by Daniel on Oct 30, 2009 9:31 AM EDT reply actions

You’re a fucking Purdue blog. You should have written about that four days before we did.

by Orson Swindle on Oct 30, 2009 9:47 AM EDT reply actions

Bigger question is what the fuck does a Purdue blog discuss? Because their football for damn sure isnt interesting to warrant an entire blog…

Smaller question, how long til Joe Tiller Jr (because I dont know their coach’s actual name off hand and he sorta resembles a 30yr younger version of Angry Tiller) gets Mustache Wednesday?

by beckett929 on Oct 30, 2009 9:53 AM EDT reply actions

SEC blogging speeeeeed may be the start of a hilarious new Internet running gag.

by Tim James on Oct 30, 2009 9:54 AM EDT reply actions

Orson, I demand to know why you were not more timely with this breaking Purdue-has-a-shitty-chant news. I feel betrayed. Betrayed!

And as for Addazzio, I cannot remember a single jet sweep this season. I’m sure there were a couple, and I’m not saying there should be more, but if Addazzio was calling the same plays as last year then we’d see a handful of sweeps per game. Not to mention the entire option game, which seems to have been abandoned post-concussion for the ever-safer Concrete Cyanide Smash.

I think, what Addazzio meant to say was, “We have the same general philosophy as last year, but we replaced ‘Percy’ in ‘put Percy in a position to score’ with ‘Surgis’.”

by cantcatchuf on Oct 30, 2009 9:57 AM EDT reply actions

The contract stipulations below section 12 did seem a bit strange to the outsider. Ether would explain some of it but what type of contract lawya would need all these coconut husks and crushed honeydew rinds? These were not the hoofprints of your average God-fearing junky. It was too savage. Too aggressive.

/Couldn’t resist.

by cob on Oct 30, 2009 9:59 AM EDT reply actions

Looks what happens, you give Purdue one sliver of some kind of respect and the take it, eat it, and try to shit it all over this place. This is why we can’t have nice things!

by Kevin@LSU on Oct 30, 2009 10:00 AM EDT reply actions

If I had to see that Eastern Bloc-inspired campus and those Eastern Bloc-ish coeds everyday, I’d be bitter, snarky, and resentful too. Have fun with winter, asshole!

by Bobby Decatur on Oct 30, 2009 10:15 AM EDT reply actions

Basically Stevey Addazio is saying that dive, dive, dive, Aaron Hernandez, dive, dive, Sturgis for three is still the game plan?

That works because I heard Willie Martinez gave everyone the greenlight to visit the landing until 3:15 Saturday with the exception of Renny Curran and Boykins.

BTW Geno Atkins, the milk carton called, its looking for you.

by Yeah BoYeeEe on Oct 30, 2009 10:16 AM EDT reply actions

The problem is that there were 50-some minutes of football before things got interesting in Blacksburg. 7-0 at the half. Ouch. Please someone tell me how great the VaTech defense is AGAIN.

[Keith Jackson voice] Strap on your helmets gentlemen, we’ve got some Beamer Ball.

I will always admire the Hawk’s candor. After a horrible 1st half beatdown against UGa a few years back he was approached for the going-into-the-locker interview. When asked what happened he just said: “did you SEE the first half?”

by ohiodawg on Oct 30, 2009 10:17 AM EDT reply actions

- Just went to the Purdue website to verify your architectural description, which seems to be mostly accurate. But scroll through the picture slideshow on the front page, and you will agree that no “Eastern Bloc-sh coed” was ever so overfed.

by cantcatchuf on Oct 30, 2009 10:20 AM EDT reply actions

How is someone “semi-respected?”

by hobeg8r on Oct 30, 2009 10:32 AM EDT reply actions

Hobeg8r @ 16-

I was thinkin that too. Perhaps we should ask the author.

by tzubear on Oct 30, 2009 10:38 AM EDT reply actions

#15

That’s a freaking winner!

Nothing like a subtle yet caustic reference to midwestern co-eds’ size to make the morning go.

by Yeah BoYeeEe on Oct 30, 2009 10:38 AM EDT reply actions

Well played, sirs. "Subtle yet caustic’ a new phrase to live by.

by Bobby Decatur on Oct 30, 2009 10:47 AM EDT reply actions

I read the blog occasionally as I went to Purdue but am not a PU football fan at all. I’m an ND fan due to family members attending there. I didn’t mind Purdue when I got there but by the end, I was beaten down to the point where I actually couldn’t stand the football program at all…partially due to people like the guys that run that Boiled Sports blog. While I think their analysis is pretty solid in basketball and football, they come off as whiny, angry bitches. They spend an incredible amount of time ripping on ND football and IU basketball rather than focusing on their own teams. They just come off as bitter most of the time. I seemed to find that quite a bit when I attended Purdue.

As far as the campus, I liked it. But the girls…a complete and utter abortion. I can’t even think of an appropriate joke to describe the swine there, just brutal.

by SEC Blogs Is Slow on Oct 30, 2009 11:03 AM EDT reply actions

Fret not, Boiled Sports. I am sure the SEC blogs will resume ignoring the Big Televen until the appropriate sacrificial offering is made to them. Perhaps something Hawkeye flavored this year. (Mmm, Tasty!)

You may now resume your regularly sceduled irrelevance.

by Phocion on Oct 30, 2009 11:25 AM EDT reply actions

If the Rose Bowl is the obligatory Southern Cal versus overachieving random Big Ten team (this year’s flavor, Iowa)…what’s the spread and how much does SC win by?

Outside of the loss to Texas, has USC play any close BCS games lately? Seems like a gangbang every year.

by Tang on Oct 30, 2009 12:11 PM EDT reply actions

@20
“But the girls…a complete and utter abortion. I can’t even think of an appropriate joke to describe the swine there, just brutal.”

How’s this:
How do you get a Perdue cheerleader into your hotel room?

Grease her hips and push…

by SC'Eer on Oct 30, 2009 12:12 PM EDT reply actions

“Butch Davis is a machine that learns”

human decisions have been removed from the tarheel offense. butch davis has been learning at a geometric rate and became self aware on October 29, 2009 at 10:24 pm.

by ed on Oct 30, 2009 12:17 PM EDT reply actions

@14, the VT defense is merely good, not great, this year. Linebacker deficiency, as well as lack of at least one NFL-caliber defensive lineman, is hurting too much this year. (Jason Worilds, DE, may be the closest sure-fire draft pick, and even he strikes me as more of an outside linebacker in a 3-4.)

by I'm A Lasagna Hog on Oct 30, 2009 12:29 PM EDT reply actions

- well, you want ugly uniforms, just wait until Oregon shows on Halloween night no less what ugly might mean – maybe bright yellow ones with green socks and helmets, or green uniforms with yellow helmets and socks, or…. Of course, Phil Knight also controls the weather in Eugene, so we might see rain as well.
I hope your sentiments regarding VT’s uniforms are similarly with my Trojans on that discussion.
Good thing we played Oregon State last week, or we’d get all orange ones with black helmets and shoes – yikes!

by TrojanRick on Oct 30, 2009 1:16 PM EDT reply actions

I just saw the Purdue slide show and someone made the decision to include the large coed. Who the hell makes that decision?
“Yeah, we need a large pasty coed on our university website.”

by Anonymous IV on Oct 30, 2009 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

@27 – you gotta give it to the fatty, though, she seems very happy to update her facebook and twitter in the middle of campus… maybe she is really checking out the menu for the student union or the recipe for fried butter…

by Cocky Scar on Oct 30, 2009 3:11 PM EDT reply actions

27 & 28, I think if you take another look, she appears to be in a wheelchair, so it’s the obligatory “all are welcome at Purdue” picture designed to imply that they care.

by dc trojan on Oct 30, 2009 6:32 PM EDT reply actions

@dc trojan – don’t see the wheelchair… Plus everyone deserves to be made fun of… No exceptions… She is fat, pasty, and loving every minute of it… Your move political condom…

by Cocky Scar on Oct 30, 2009 8:39 PM EDT reply actions