Ray Goff, you are missed. Rivalry week, cont’d. Fifty points in Athens: IT TICKLES. (Audio NSFW, but turn it off because it’s putrescent anyway.)

The flea-flicker is toward the end. Watch it a few hundred times if you like. We have.

The abusive, ineffective drunken stepfather you’ve never had. Also knows as the NCAA, who ended Dez Bryant’s collegiate career for a stupid and relatively minor mistake in lying to NCAA officials about visits he had with Deion Sanders. If it requires work, they demur; if they can get a good hard swing in against a single individual, they will.

The filthy lean-to of mental shelters. When circumstances become complex, you can retire to the mansion of reason and cold logic, which lies over hill and dale and up many hills…or you know, you could just duck under the filthy lean-to of conspiracy. There is no SEC officiating conspiracy, because in order to have a conspiracy you must have coordination and competence. What in the history of collegiate officiating leads you to believe in the presence of either here? Exactly. To conflate either with the BCS and its elaborately rigged system is doubly quackified, since we all know the proper comparison is to America’s relationship with Chiang Kai-Shek in post-war China. (Duh.)

This……may really be the fairest way to do a national championship in the end. It should be a flag you fly and can capture and immediately snag from the opposing team, in the best of all worlds, and the winning coach and current title holder should be forced to wear a Burger King crown while coaching on the sidelines. If this sounds improbable, think of how we currently do things, and then reconsider what you call absurd.

Boubacar, au revoir. Boubacar Cissoko, prize Michigan recruit and outstanding name walking, is off Michigan’s team for missing classes, practices, and otherwise kind of screwing up in the fashion that young men sometimes do. Cissoko had started before giving up long plays against Indiana. Read prior sentence and evaluate Cissoko’s ability to test patience of coaches, as he had already given up long plays against Indiana.