COCKTAIL PARTY AUGURY: UGA LINEMAN ARRESTED

by Orson on Oct 28, 2009 4:43 PM EDT

Is it a good or a bad sign when a starter is arrested days prior to an important rivalry game? Georgia offensive lineman Vince Vance was arrested early this morning on classic Bulldog charges, and indeed the only ones they seem to rack up under Mark Richt: driving offenses. (Richt: moral, but negligent on paperwork like a daft pastor.) Vance eschewed the normal "driving on a suspended license" and went a step further by driving without any sort of license at all, an offense that in Georgia gets you thrown straight in jail. Vance was also charged with failing to obey signals, the false start of traffic violations.

Positive implications for Georgia: Feeling bold and lawless. Does not need a license or your permission to go where he needs to go, sir. Try to block him: we dare you.

Negative implications: Feeling forgetful. Easy arrest without resisting charge shows lack of mental toughness. Missing signs=blown blitz coverages.

Overall, we'd say it's a positive for the Bulldogs, since more arrests=angrier team (see: Florida.) Georgia says it has no elaborate motivational schemes for the game like a secret Christian message embedded in a shirt or anything, just better execution and the loving, guiding hand of Joe Cox. The temperature will be 86 degrees in Jacksonville and the game kicks at 3:30 p.m. Joe Cox remains winless in day games unless you count Vanderbilt, and we don't, because it pokes a hole in our theory that he cannot win games where he is exposed to direct sunlight.

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Seriously, they’ve played like cold buttered ass since their arrest count dropped. This can only help.

by Holly on Oct 28, 2009 4:52 PM EDT reply actions

Also, you could skirt this by not counting Vandy as a football team.

by Holly on Oct 28, 2009 4:55 PM EDT reply actions

Very overcast at the Vandy game, so your “direct sunlight” corollary still holds water.

by Silver Britches on Oct 28, 2009 4:56 PM EDT reply actions

Could someone please explain to me how a 22-yr. old man only has a learner’s permit.

by hobeg8r on Oct 28, 2009 4:59 PM EDT reply actions

Vance, 22, has a learner’s permit but violated the conditions of that permit by not having an 18-year-old-or-older licensed driver in the vehicle with him, Williamson said.

HAHAHHahaHAHAA hahaha HAHHA Hhahahaha

by Tim James on Oct 28, 2009 5:01 PM EDT reply actions

Is it too early for a “wait ’til next year!”?

by Sean Glennon's Jersey on Oct 28, 2009 5:03 PM EDT reply actions

Also, that’s straight up bullshit if you can’t drive around Georgia without a license. Did the North impose that nonsense on the great principality? It’s time to rise up, my adjacent state neighbors.

by Tim James on Oct 28, 2009 5:03 PM EDT reply actions

I don’t know what it is about that number, but 72 always drives without a license.

by Jack Fact on Oct 28, 2009 5:04 PM EDT reply actions

On a side note…I’d really like to know the story behind that picture.

by zzgator on Oct 28, 2009 5:05 PM EDT reply actions

At any given time, only three players on the team have a vaild license.

by Statesboro Dawg on Oct 28, 2009 5:06 PM EDT reply actions

Also, in my 15 years of living in Athens (I’m kinda struggling with my classes), I’ve never had a run in AT ALL with campus or ACC police. How on earth these kids are managing to get caught by the cops is beyond me. I’m just picturing them doing 80 down Lumpkin street, firing automatic weapons out the windows, with the trunk popped open and a full on rave complete with disco ball and fog machine happening in there.

by Sean Glennon's Jersey on Oct 28, 2009 5:07 PM EDT reply actions

I’m going to that Tim Brando might need to get on this one. Yeah, I’m calling the state government racist.

by A Dawg in Alabama. on Oct 28, 2009 5:10 PM EDT reply actions

Cops watch the games. They know the crappy players and arrest them. I hear coach richt is lobbying for a blocking sled to be put into the holding cell.

by Juan Pablo Montaco on Oct 28, 2009 5:13 PM EDT reply actions

The Vampire theory falls apart with one key statement of fact: The first victory on the Joe Cox ledger was in 2006 versus Colorado, in the middle of the day (in fact a horribly hot day with little cloud cover at all during the game, if I remember correctly). Joe has won 2 games in direct sunlight.

Although, he did seem to play better versus LSU as the sun set over the south-west corner of the stadium a few weeks ago…

by Will on Oct 28, 2009 5:23 PM EDT reply actions

hobeg8r: I don’t know about VV, but I know a lot of folks with high social capital keep their kids on learner’s permits so that their auto insurance doesn’t go through the roof when junior gets a full-blown driver’s license. I think, though, that rich white people typical have their little ones go ahead and get a “real” DL by the time they’re 21, though.

Sean Glennon’s Jersey: Awesome name, BTW. Sharpies are awesome. Also, I’m guessing you aren’t black.

Jack Fact: Yeah. VV is 72. Ha.

ARP. Jorts, etc, etc.

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Oct 28, 2009 5:28 PM EDT reply actions

On the one hand, Georgia’s O line has sucked balls this year, so losing one might help, considering they’re about fitty deep in 3-4 star linemen. On the other hand, Vance is second string, so the suckage may be endemic and coach-based.

by Golden Hand on Oct 28, 2009 5:43 PM EDT reply actions

The Athens/Clarke cops will arrest every goddamn player on our team right down to the fourth-string long-snapper, but not one member of the fuzz ever thought to plant an ounce in Willie Martinez’s car? Those pigs really are out to get us.

by Doug on Oct 28, 2009 5:57 PM EDT reply actions

@11:

Are you serious? Not once? I got pulled over on Clayton St. once BY A FRIGGEN’ BIKE COP.

by Jason on Oct 28, 2009 6:22 PM EDT reply actions

Any chance UGA would hire me as a driving coach for approx. $100k per year?

by Tatum on Oct 28, 2009 6:47 PM EDT reply actions

@Jason

Apart from the de rigueur speeding tickets, no. Got yelled at by an ACC cop for jumping up and whacking a street sign in downtown one night, but that’s about it.

Then again, my wife worked in campus PD dispatch for a while, so we knew how to avoid catching attention. By the way, judging by the stories I heard coming from that department, UGA police has (or had) a much greater tolerance than you think they do. I’m willing to be that most campus police departments are the same way.

by Sean Glennon's Jersey on Oct 28, 2009 7:06 PM EDT reply actions

That Colorado game Cox won in the sun was before he was bitten by Edward Cullen. Plus, Cox didn’t start that game, just cleaned up the mess.

by T-Lud on Oct 28, 2009 10:17 PM EDT reply actions

What the press didn’t say was that Vance was driving Mudcat’s car.

by meg on Oct 28, 2009 10:36 PM EDT reply actions

21:

True, but remember, he did all the heavy lifting for UGA that day. Stafford was crapping the bed, and Cox came through with the TDs to win the game.

by Will on Oct 29, 2009 1:07 AM EDT reply actions

Vandy was def not in direct sun. However, it may have been partly cloudy by the second half that would explain the lack of passes going in the direction of AJ Greene

by Jdawg on Oct 29, 2009 1:37 AM EDT reply actions

@ 12

Tim Brando does NOT want to go there, and believe him, you do NOT want him to go there!

by chuy on Oct 29, 2009 9:48 AM EDT reply actions

He was just texting while driving, no problem with that.

Signed,

Mack Brown

by Raider Red on Oct 29, 2009 10:30 AM EDT reply actions

Positive Implication: Coach Richt chose not to suspend him immediately, and settled for the patented UF ‘handled internally’. Looks like we might see a goatee this weekend…

by CMR's Barber on Oct 29, 2009 11:21 AM EDT reply actions