COCKTAIL PARTY AUGURY: UGA LINEMAN ARRESTED
Is it a good or a bad sign when a starter is arrested days prior to an important rivalry game? Georgia offensive lineman Vince Vance was arrested early this morning on classic Bulldog charges, and indeed the only ones they seem to rack up under Mark Richt: driving offenses. (Richt: moral, but negligent on paperwork like a daft pastor.) Vance eschewed the normal “driving on a suspended license” and went a step further by driving without any sort of license at all, an offense that in Georgia gets you thrown straight in jail. Vance was also charged with failing to obey signals, the false start of traffic violations.
Positive implications for Georgia: Feeling bold and lawless. Does not need a license or your permission to go where he needs to go, sir. Try to block him: we dare you.
Negative implications: Feeling forgetful. Easy arrest without resisting charge shows lack of mental toughness. Missing signs=blown blitz coverages.
Overall, we’d say it’s a positive for the Bulldogs, since more arrests=angrier team (see: Florida.) Georgia says it has no elaborate motivational schemes for the game like a secret Christian message embedded in a shirt or anything, just better execution and the loving, guiding hand of Joe Cox. The temperature will be 86 degrees in Jacksonville and the game kicks at 3:30 p.m. Joe Cox remains winless in day games unless you count Vanderbilt, and we don’t, because it pokes a hole in our theory that he cannot win games where he is exposed to direct sunlight.










1
Holly says:
Seriously, they’ve played like cold buttered ass since their arrest count dropped. This can only help.
October 28th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
2
Holly says:
Also, you could skirt this by not counting Vandy as a football team.
October 28th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
3
Silver Britches says:
Very overcast at the Vandy game, so your “direct sunlight” corollary still holds water.
October 28th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
4
hobeg8r says:
Could someone please explain to me how a 22-yr. old man only has a learner’s permit.
October 28th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
5
Tim James says:
Vance, 22, has a learner’s permit but violated the conditions of that permit by not having an 18-year-old-or-older licensed driver in the vehicle with him, Williamson said.
HAHAHHahaHAHAA hahaha HAHHA Hhahahaha
October 28th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
6
Sean Glennon's Jersey says:
Is it too early for a “wait ’til next year!”?
October 28th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
7
Tim James says:
Also, that’s straight up bullshit if you can’t drive around Georgia without a license. Did the North impose that nonsense on the great principality? It’s time to rise up, my adjacent state neighbors.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
8
Jack Fact says:
I don’t know what it is about that number, but 72 always drives without a license.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
9
zzgator says:
On a side note…I’d really like to know the story behind that picture.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
10
Statesboro Dawg says:
At any given time, only three players on the team have a vaild license.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
11
Sean Glennon's Jersey says:
Also, in my 15 years of living in Athens (I’m kinda struggling with my classes), I’ve never had a run in AT ALL with campus or ACC police. How on earth these kids are managing to get caught by the cops is beyond me. I’m just picturing them doing 80 down Lumpkin street, firing automatic weapons out the windows, with the trunk popped open and a full on rave complete with disco ball and fog machine happening in there.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
12
A Dawg in Alabama. says:
I’m going to that Tim Brando might need to get on this one. Yeah, I’m calling the state government racist.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
13
Juan Pablo Montaco says:
Cops watch the games. They know the crappy players and arrest them. I hear coach richt is lobbying for a blocking sled to be put into the holding cell.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
14
Will says:
The Vampire theory falls apart with one key statement of fact: The first victory on the Joe Cox ledger was in 2006 versus Colorado, in the middle of the day (in fact a horribly hot day with little cloud cover at all during the game, if I remember correctly). Joe has won 2 games in direct sunlight.
Although, he did seem to play better versus LSU as the sun set over the south-west corner of the stadium a few weeks ago…
October 28th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
15
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
hobeg8r: I don’t know about VV, but I know a lot of folks with high social capital keep their kids on learner’s permits so that their auto insurance doesn’t go through the roof when junior gets a full-blown driver’s license. I think, though, that rich white people typical have their little ones go ahead and get a “real” DL by the time they’re 21, though.
Sean Glennon’s Jersey: Awesome name, BTW. Sharpies are awesome. Also, I’m guessing you aren’t black.
Jack Fact: Yeah. VV is 72. Ha.
ARP. Jorts, etc, etc.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
16
Golden Hand says:
On the one hand, Georgia’s O line has sucked balls this year, so losing one might help, considering they’re about fitty deep in 3-4 star linemen. On the other hand, Vance is second string, so the suckage may be endemic and coach-based.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
17
Doug says:
The Athens/Clarke cops will arrest every goddamn player on our team right down to the fourth-string long-snapper, but not one member of the fuzz ever thought to plant an ounce in Willie Martinez’s car? Those pigs really are out to get us.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
18
Jason says:
@11:
Are you serious? Not once? I got pulled over on Clayton St. once BY A FRIGGEN’ BIKE COP.
October 28th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
19
Tatum says:
Any chance UGA would hire me as a driving coach for approx. $100k per year?
October 28th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
20
Sean Glennon's Jersey says:
@Jason
Apart from the de rigueur speeding tickets, no. Got yelled at by an ACC cop for jumping up and whacking a street sign in downtown one night, but that’s about it.
Then again, my wife worked in campus PD dispatch for a while, so we knew how to avoid catching attention. By the way, judging by the stories I heard coming from that department, UGA police has (or had) a much greater tolerance than you think they do. I’m willing to be that most campus police departments are the same way.
October 28th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
21
T-Lud says:
That Colorado game Cox won in the sun was before he was bitten by Edward Cullen. Plus, Cox didn’t start that game, just cleaned up the mess.
October 28th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
22
meg says:
What the press didn’t say was that Vance was driving Mudcat’s car.
October 28th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
23
Will says:
21:
True, but remember, he did all the heavy lifting for UGA that day. Stafford was crapping the bed, and Cox came through with the TDs to win the game.
October 29th, 2009 at 12:07 am
24
Jdawg says:
Vandy was def not in direct sun. However, it may have been partly cloudy by the second half that would explain the lack of passes going in the direction of AJ Greene
October 29th, 2009 at 12:37 am
25
chuy says:
@ 12
Tim Brando does NOT want to go there, and believe him, you do NOT want him to go there!
October 29th, 2009 at 8:48 am
26
Raider Red says:
He was just texting while driving, no problem with that.
Signed,
Mack Brown
October 29th, 2009 at 9:30 am
27
CMR's Barber says:
Positive Implication: Coach Richt chose not to suspend him immediately, and settled for the patented UF ‘handled internally’. Looks like we might see a goatee this weekend…
October 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am