CURIOUS INDEX, 10/22/09
by Orson on Oct 22, 2009 9:39 AM EDT
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ALL HAIL BUCK-RAM. Donald Buckram: 165 yards, 2 TDs including the game-winner versus Tulsa last night, all done with a name so obviously awesome even Andre Ware could pick it out as being pun-worthy. Watching games at UTEP is like watching footage from a remote mining outpost on Jupiter. There's desolate hills, odd radio towers in the background, people heaving mining implements up and down, and that classic sci-fi trope, Mike Price scratching his balls. Grumbling. Who grumbles about being sent home early for a football game? UNC employees, of course. Existential Hotness. It's a full eight screens (online reading), but Joe Posnanski's piece on Joe Paterno is well worth the wait, especially if you want to realize what a complete geek Paterno really is at heart. Geek cred, established: Paterno not only gave a copy of Camus' The Stranger to his wife during their courtship, he asked her to write a paper on it. Geek cred, bolstered: they compared papers for fun. Understatement. It's always fun. The Orlando Sentinel gently suggests Florida misses Dan Mullen in the booth. Answer this: has there ever been an offensive coordinator who was better from the sidelines than one from the booth? Did we ever see Norm Chow looking up from his sixth brilliantly called touchdown of the day when he wasn't glowering menacingly from behind the plate glass of the booth? When we think "brilliant offensive coordinator," we inevitably see someone working silently from the aseptic, quiet environs of the booth, watching dots move around on the field like an indifferent, all-powerful deity. When we think "offensive coordinator on the sidelines," we see Ed Zaunbrecher. Two fun facts! Steve Addazio calls the offense from the field, and is leading an attack tallying 18 points less than last year's epic slaughtering crew. Duck Voodoo returns. This time it's U-Dub, and a horse's ass is involved. We look forward to these in much the same way the San Francisco Chronicle editors used to look forward to letters from the Zodiac Killer: they're compelling, fraught with madness, written in code, and yet we can't look away. |
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I seem to remember Spurrier calling plays from the sideline. In fact, when I think of offensive coordinators not in the booth, I usually think of him.
by JM on Oct 22, 2009 9:45 AM EDT reply actions
I hope gloves were used to re-position the U-Dub hat from its prior perch to the weed whacker.
by DevilGrad on Oct 22, 2009 9:55 AM EDT reply actions
Paul Johnson is OC and does a pretty darn good job.
by Justin on Oct 22, 2009 9:57 AM EDT reply actions
Ohio State calls plays from the sidelines. Oh wait, you asked for success stories. Never mind.
by Crabapple Buck on Oct 22, 2009 10:00 AM EDT reply actions
Another rebuttal to the sideline OC: Mike Bobo called plays from the sideline against Vandy. They put up 34 points, hit the mean on rushing yards against Vandy this season and only turned it over once. Great sideline OC or greatest sideline OC?
That was sarcasm, by the way.
And I think Buck Ram was one of the porn names George considered before settling on Buck Naked.
by Biggus Rickus on Oct 22, 2009 10:04 AM EDT reply actions
College football during the week? Preposterous!!!!
by haybeav on Oct 22, 2009 10:16 AM EDT reply actions
whoa, two Zodiac references for you (and deadspin) this week . . . what’s next, simo-Leviathon references???
by Alex on Oct 22, 2009 10:39 AM EDT reply actions
Rich Rodriguez didn’t so much ‘call plays from the sideline’ at WVU.. he just wore two colored wristbands, one meant “PAT WHITE SCRAMBLE” and the other meant “STEVE SLATON VROOOOMMMM”
by beckett929 on Oct 22, 2009 10:40 AM EDT reply actions
Is anybody that surprised that UNC would allow a Thursday night game on the condition that it be played on the 1 Thursday night when students weren’t on campus? Reason # 1,356 why UNC will never be a big time football school.
by utah on Oct 22, 2009 10:55 AM EDT reply actions
Duck Voodoo is one sick dude. First, he forced a hat to watch The View earlier this year. Now, QVC/HSN.
The horse’s ass is preferrable.
by yoyofutbawl on Oct 22, 2009 11:13 AM EDT reply actions
From the article you link to:
“State law requires the employees to make up the two hours later. Squeezing them in between child care or second jobs will present problems for some of the work-a-day folks.”
This would piss me off, too.
by ESMjr. on Oct 22, 2009 11:25 AM EDT reply actions
ESMjr.: Agreed. At least cut those folks who are being told to go home early a break. Or better yet, comp their time if they go to the game!
utah: Real football schools don’t play on Thursday night, students be damned.
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Oct 22, 2009 11:43 AM EDT reply actions
Tom Osborne did a pretty good job of calling plays on the field. Good call on Spurrier, too.
by Brizzle on Oct 22, 2009 11:47 AM EDT reply actions
UNC is a serious research university where football plays the red headed step child to Basketball and research. To most faculty, basketball is enough of a distraction, and since most of them hate athletes already, they resent the athletic department already. This trickles down. Perhaps the least popular excuse for your PHD advisor is to say something along the lines of I can’t deliver my progress report because I had to quit the lab early because of some football game. Good lord, the fireworks. What’s especially amusing is the faculty meetings after these games, where you always get some crackpot German professor suggesting they should get rid of the Athletic department because that’s what happens in Europe, and then the president or provost has to explain that the program is worth more than the lot of them put together.
by Joe on Oct 22, 2009 12:02 PM EDT reply actions
“UTEP is like watching footage from a remote mining outpost on Jupiter”
where this happens?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qANOF5sIRZU&feature=related
Orson- what type is like watching? Tiltes please.
by tzubear on Oct 22, 2009 12:08 PM EDT reply actions
hmm not sure what happened.
…. what type of sci fi are you watching?……better
by tzubear on Oct 22, 2009 12:09 PM EDT reply actions
@19: I was about to ask about that time dude got whacked off on the rocks while watching Texas slaughter UTEP’s ass.
As an Alabama fan, I demand to know why everything Mike Price does is so pruriently crotch related.
by King Cockfight on Oct 22, 2009 12:33 PM EDT reply actions
The Stranger during courtship? Uh, yeah. Camus is soooo romantic — like when Meursault said, “hey, I already told you I don’t love you,” and Marie was, like, “Pourquoi m’epouser?” and then Meursault was all – Je lui ai expliqué que cela n’avait aucune importance et que si elle le désirait, nous pouvions nous marier. D’ailleurs, c’était elle qui le demandait et moi je me contentais de dire oui.
That is, you’re the one who asked me to marry you, so I said ok, because I figured, well, why not? If you want to, ok. After all, what’s love got to do with it? Oh, and did I mention it’s really, really hot?
by NCT on Oct 22, 2009 3:41 PM EDT reply actions
Holy cripes, man – it’s in your goddmaned site banner! I’m just glad it only took one post for it to be pointed out.
by NYCGatorOX on Oct 22, 2009 3:53 PM EDT reply actions
Don’t f*&ck with DuckVoodoo. He’s all that’s standing between another crazy loss and a
flaming, spinning, whirlwind in the form of LeMichael James going up the sideline on a
last second touchdown with the local callers screaming "LeMichael James is gonna
score! LeMichael James is gonna score!!!! The sacred memory of Kenny Wheaton will
only be further burnished in hallowed yellow and green.
This is Husky Week, also known in Duckland as “Huck the Fuskies!” Week.
There will be no prisoners taken.
Fumblers will have their effigies hung and quartered (photoshopped, of course,
we’re not all as well supplied in horse’s asses as DuckVoodoo).
The season starts now. And ends Saturday night, should the worst happen,
and the cruel fates decide that we need yet another year blowing a golden
f*&^%g opportunity to win it all.
by gamedaytribe on Oct 22, 2009 9:45 PM EDT reply actions
@24
whack off to kenny wheaton one more time, then jump into oncoming traffic you fucking douchebag
Go Huskies, Bark for Sark, praise Jake etc.
by seeyouinhellwillingham on Oct 23, 2009 12:00 AM EDT reply actions
seeyouinhellwillingham:
That was nasty, dude. No call for that.
by gamedaytribe on Oct 23, 2009 11:47 AM EDT reply actions
The Fridge called plays brilliantly from the sidelines while OC at georgia tech. Hell, he made George Godsey a competent QB.
by Uganewt on Oct 23, 2009 4:38 PM EDT reply actions
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