MACK BROWN SAYS YOU'RE LOBBYING WRONG, OU

Blame our east coast bias. It keeps us from doing so many things endorsed by west coasters: veganism, watching football at 9 in the morning (you fucking savages!) and group sex (okay, no comment.) It sometimes delays picking up on stories from the West Coast, like this superb blurb from John Canzano of the Oregonian where he shares an email he received from Senior Associate Athletics Director Kenny Mossman:
Oklahoma’s three losses …
· By a total of five points.
· All on neutral or road fields.
· All versus ranked opponents.
Oh, you don't know the least bit about pageanting, Kenny Mossman. You play in a conference headed by the queen of pageanting, Mack Brown, whose girls never line up in the inevitable BCS post-season lineup without flawless mascara applied and hairdos blasted into place by a thousand empty cans of White Rain and ESPN appearances. Reminding people of close losses won't be enough, especially when your most worst loss came to a team later blown out at home by Florida State, and your only "quality" win came over "Baylor." If Mack Brown is the master tap-dancer getting twenties thrown in his hat on the subway platform, Oklahoma is the tuneless bucket drummer thwacking away spastically on an empty paint jug.
Pageanting will continue apace, especially if the nightmare Alabama-Florida rematch scenario occurs. It likely won't, but if that somehow happens, the campaigning will redefine whorish.
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Pffft. Canzano is Gordo Reese’s cabana boy.
The bucket drummer analogy does seem to fit our o-line, though.
by Billy Sims 'Fro on Oct 21, 2009 1:41 PM EDT reply actions
I want the SEC to forego their championship game at the end of the regular season. Thus putting Florida and ‘bama in the BCS game! That’s when we see what kind of lobbyist, Mack Brown really is. Can you see that whiny Mack bitch crying on TV. The richest school in America and they still can’t bribe the SEC officials.
Ok, this is just a fantasy of mine, but I’m telling all the arrogant ‘horns I teach alongside that this is actually happening! It’s really fun, in a completely sadistic way of course!
by easthoustonpondwater on Oct 21, 2009 1:54 PM EDT reply actions
Dear Kenny Mossman,
Your 3-loss team is still sitting in the AP Top 25.
Consider yourself rewarded for the difficult schedule.
by SC'Eer on Oct 21, 2009 2:30 PM EDT reply actions
Yea right just like there could have been an OSU Michigan rematch in 2006. It would be funny to see a close game between Bama and the Gators, only to see one of them destroyed by a Boise St. Team 42-7 in the BCS game.
Do you think everyone in the South’s head would explode like when Clayton Bigsby took off his hood?
by Tricky Dick on Oct 21, 2009 3:06 PM EDT reply actions
I think that might be the best possible use of the crying OU fan. Well done.
by westbrooke on Oct 21, 2009 3:11 PM EDT reply actions
Take it from Canzano and the UO – proper begging, er, “marketing” requires the use of large billboards/posters on the sides of buildings in Manhattan, not simply wimpy emails. Weak.
by dgdawg on Oct 21, 2009 4:14 PM EDT reply actions
9:00 AM football kicks ass. As soon as you wake up you are treated to some shitty Big-10 teams play while you get warmed up for the real games to start at 12:30. It makes life so much better.
by MJRuffalo1 on Oct 21, 2009 4:15 PM EDT reply actions
Dear Kenny Mossman,
Your 3-loss team is still sitting in the AP Top 25.
Consider yourself rewarded for the difficult schedule.
Word.
by CincySooner on Oct 21, 2009 4:51 PM EDT reply actions
I agree with #8.
I’ve been on the West Coast on Saturday a few times on business and it’s kinda cool to roll out of bed, order a full stack of pancakes from room service, take a shower at halftime, and pick away at the remaining pancakes while the 9am game winds to a close.
Up next? The heavy-hitting “afternoon” matchup (airing at 12:30pm) that you would have to wait around all-day for on the east coast.
by CincySooner on Oct 21, 2009 4:57 PM EDT reply actions
Didn’t Florida basically play FSU in a rematch for the ‘96 title? It wouldn’t be unprecedented.
by Orchard Park on Oct 21, 2009 5:07 PM EDT reply actions
Since his job title is senior athletic director of communications isn’t it kind of his job to put the best foot forward for OU? I would imagine that’s just about in his job description word for word. If it was a beat writer for the Tulsa World or Daily Oklahoman that would be troubling.
by jason on Oct 21, 2009 5:38 PM EDT reply actions
9:00 AM football? That means you have to get up to tailgate at…hmmm..that means you shouldn’t go to bed, just tailgate all night.
by Chitownhawkeye on Oct 21, 2009 6:38 PM EDT reply actions
I love LSUfreek’s animated pichurs! Here is a token of my esteem, a deal on LSU slippers:
Coupon code for $15 off $75: IP359T57
from fatwallet.com: http://www.fatwallet.com/forums/hot-deals/961111
Ahem, GO GATORS!
by Bart on Oct 21, 2009 6:54 PM EDT reply actions
Canzano is a tool. And, east coast bias or not, you should know better than to read his garbage.
As for 9:00am football. Try 8:00am football in Alaska . . . weeee!!
by Will on Oct 21, 2009 8:01 PM EDT reply actions
Close losses are nice, but shouldn’t a good team … you know, actually win a few of those games? At leas Mack’s case is usually arguable. Anyone voting for a 3-3 team with no good wins should be smacked upside the head.
by SpartanDan on Oct 21, 2009 8:21 PM EDT reply actions
The national media can’t make it any more obvious that they want UT to lose so they can have an SEC rematch or USC/SEC.
by Dixie Normous on Oct 21, 2009 8:41 PM EDT reply actions
It only became the de facto national title game once Arizona St. lost in the Rose Bowl a day earlier.
by CincySooner on Oct 22, 2009 9:12 AM EDT reply actions
The truth is an absolute defense to the charge of pageantry. Mack followed his up by beating the last good Michigan team in one of the better Rose Bowls of all time.
BS and Tedford followed theirs up by getting beat soundly.
by Sugarpants on Oct 24, 2009 12:22 PM EDT reply actions

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