Bacon’s revenge, my ass.

We spent all but six hours or so of yesterday dead to the world, and the hours spent awake weren’t much more lucid. Going light today, but we will be posting, mostly in our pajamas and attempting to kill ourselves with a vitamin C overdose. If you substitute the word “rum” there, you have Howard Schnellenberger’s offseason schedule, so this should be fun.

That’s my teammate. That’s my quarterback. Tressel didn’t gush TO tears while he made the statement–Jim Tressel only cries over special reruns of Full House–but he did offer an emphatic defense of Terrelle Pryor in his press conference yesterday, unsurprising because Pryor a.) is his best option at qb, and b.) because Jim Tressel likes change about as much as Pol Pot loved people with glasses.

One of the most fundamental keys to “Tresselball” — a conservative, rely-on-your-defense approach — is that turnovers lose games. Yet Tressel continues to stand behind a quarterback who can’t seem to avoid them.

“No one has a disdain for turnovers any more than Terrelle,” said Tressel.

And yet he continues to make them at an astonishing rate, meaning he should just embrace his inner reckless genius and become what he truly is: a turnover-happy qb with moments of occasional brilliance who takes a different path to the same result, that result being games you win by about four points every time. In Tresselball, you do that when you begin running the clock out with a two point lead in the second quarter, and in Pryorball you do that when you scramble for a game-winning TD after throwing a pick six and fumbling to keep the other team in the game.

In theory, it should happen. When the buddy comedy of Stick ‘n Potts faces off against Texas A&M this weekend, they really could score a hundred, right? At this point Aggies players are just laying down to spite Coach Bologna Sandwich, a vortex of anti-charisma driving the football program deeper and deeper into the pit of eternal football misery. Allowing a hundred would be instant firing on principle, perhaps even done theatrically on the sideline by the AD, WWE-style.

Old People, Making you Look Weak Again. Head injuries will not keep an elderly Hawkeye fan from watching what she has to see happen. Kudos, ma’am, though there is a fair argument to be made about the lack of compelling viewing options elsewhere in Iowa.

They’ll make it work. Freek on the lack of home orange for Tennessee in the matchup with Alabama this weekend.