CURIOUS INDEX, 10/21/09
by Orson on Oct 21, 2009 9:19 AM EDT
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Bacon's revenge, my ass.
We spent all but six hours or so of yesterday dead to the world, and the hours spent awake weren't much more lucid. Going light today, but we will be posting, mostly in our pajamas and attempting to kill ourselves with a vitamin C overdose. If you substitute the word "rum" there, you have Howard Schnellenberger's offseason schedule, so this should be fun. That's my teammate. That's my quarterback. Tressel didn't gush TO tears while he made the statement--Jim Tressel only cries over special reruns of Full House--but he did offer an emphatic defense of Terrelle Pryor in his press conference yesterday, unsurprising because Pryor a.) is his best option at qb, and b.) because Jim Tressel likes change about as much as Pol Pot loved people with glasses. One of the most fundamental keys to "Tresselball" -- a conservative, rely-on-your-defense approach -- is that turnovers lose games. Yet Tressel continues to stand behind a quarterback who can't seem to avoid them. "No one has a disdain for turnovers any more than Terrelle," said Tressel. And yet he continues to make them at an astonishing rate, meaning he should just embrace his inner reckless genius and become what he truly is: a turnover-happy qb with moments of occasional brilliance who takes a different path to the same result, that result being games you win by about four points every time. In Tresselball, you do that when you begin running the clock out with a two point lead in the second quarter, and in Pryorball you do that when you scramble for a game-winning TD after throwing a pick six and fumbling to keep the other team in the game. In theory, it should happen. When the buddy comedy of Stick 'n Potts faces off against Texas A&M this weekend, they really could score a hundred, right? At this point Aggies players are just laying down to spite Coach Bologna Sandwich, a vortex of anti-charisma driving the football program deeper and deeper into the pit of eternal football misery. Allowing a hundred would be instant firing on principle, perhaps even done theatrically on the sideline by the AD, WWE-style. Old People, Making you Look Weak Again. Head injuries will not keep an elderly Hawkeye fan from watching what she has to see happen. Kudos, ma'am, though there is a fair argument to be made about the lack of compelling viewing options elsewhere in Iowa. They'll make it work. Freek on the lack of home orange for Tennessee in the matchup with Alabama this weekend.
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What’s with Kiffin’s hand and arm in that picture? I think he has DJ Paul’s polio arm, and then his fingers look like nubs. It’s like a hobbit arm
by Greg on Oct 21, 2009 9:27 AM EDT reply actions
You got swine flu in Vegas? I thought you could only get that from raw dogging it with any of the Big 10’s delectable 300 lbs+ co-ed selection.
by Yeah BoYeeeEEE on Oct 21, 2009 9:44 AM EDT reply actions
Maybe the players could pull a Bruce Pearl and paint themselves orange.
Make it work, people!
by hobeg8r on Oct 21, 2009 9:47 AM EDT reply actions
Looks like Hello Kiffin has been shopping at Nick Saban’s Gray Suit Warehouse with his brand new contract extension $$$$$.
by yoyofutbawl on Oct 21, 2009 9:49 AM EDT reply actions
Speaking of Bama, this is strange. The OBC at it again.
by hobeg8r on Oct 21, 2009 9:58 AM EDT reply actions
“Jim Tressel likes change about as much as Pol Pot loved people with glasses. "
That is pure genius, and I would say that analogy will be used by at least 10 readers at cocktail parties/coke orgies this weekend.
“Did you guys go look at drapery swatches at Bed Bath and Beyond”
“Yeah, I like going to BB&B as much as Pol Pot Loved people with glasses”
By the way, Mike Sherman had a triple Charisma Bypass procedure in 1995.
by Kerwin4two on Oct 21, 2009 10:07 AM EDT reply actions
Looking at the gassy corpse that is Aggie football, I wonder if there are any more videos posted by that autistic sham-wow looking guy that guaranteed a national championship for said aggies this year.
by ben hill gryphon on Oct 21, 2009 10:16 AM EDT reply actions
Since the Bucks have no viable option at QB other than Pryor, he will remain QB unless injured. Playcalling has not been good either, so it isn’t just Pryor. There is plenty of blame to go around. If they play 4 or 5 wide with a no huddle, they should open a few things up. At least that is what has worked in the last few weeks.
aTm has really screwed the pooch in their last two coach hirings. RC Slocum is probably laughing his ass off right now. The next coaching hire to continue their spiral toward the bottom should be Bob Davie.
by Crabapple Buck on Oct 21, 2009 10:21 AM EDT reply actions
- - if they have been using a piece of tape, seems clear cut according to rule that those are illegal kicks. Doesnt sound like thy tried to hide that they were doing it though, so that is just bad refs. Not surprising for SEC officials this year.
by gtne91 on Oct 21, 2009 10:25 AM EDT reply actions
Sweet. Then instead of losing 20-6 and getting freight-trained by Mark Ingram, we only lost 12-6 and got freight-trained by Mark Ingram.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Oct 21, 2009 10:32 AM EDT reply actions
Of all the various things one could contract while in Las Vegas, swine flu might be the most benign. There’s kakidrosis, dyschezia and God help you if you develop copremesis. You might as well eat a bullet and get it over with quickly in that case.
by Harris on Oct 21, 2009 11:00 AM EDT reply actions
Never did I think I would see Jim Tressel and a Cambodian communist leader used in the same sentence, but their it is. You done went and did it.
by Kevin@LSU on Oct 21, 2009 11:09 AM EDT reply actions
More fun from Kiffykins…
"Coach Kiffin told me he respected my decision to go with Tech," said McCoy, who said he still gets hand-written letters from Kiffin every week. "But he told me it broke his heart when he heard I committed and said he wanted me to come up on Oct. 31. He said he was hired on my birthday, Dec. 1, and that made it destiny for me to come to Tennessee."
by wreck17 on Oct 21, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions
Hey OBC, why don’t you complain about the shitty QBs and offenses since you’ve been at SC instead of a piece of tape? Can’t believe we wanted him as our head coach; thank God he gave us the heisman and called us a bunch of back woods rednecks. Suck on it OBC. As Charles Barkley so eloquently put it after an olympic basbetball game, “why can’t they just take their ass kicking and go home?”.
Speaking of Lance Thompson, has anyone noticed that he is nothing more that Monte Kiffin’s bitch? Seems a much more inexpensive GA could signal in plays instead of a over paid assistant coach.
Wow I’m mad today.
by The Snake will Drive Again on Oct 21, 2009 11:24 AM EDT reply actions
Dude, cheaters never win – using the tape is very Belichikian.
by Ramblin Dreck on Oct 21, 2009 11:34 AM EDT reply actions
baseball comment alert between the 2009 MLB postseason umps and the 2009 SEC refs, I’d say we are about two years away from Skynet officiating all of sport. The funny thing is, the more people lose their minds (justifiably) over these terrible calls, the more the refs try to compensate and end up making more terrbile calls.
by haveagreatday on Oct 21, 2009 11:40 AM EDT reply actions
Belichick has three Super Bowl rings and he’s going to the Hall of Fame, so clearly, cheaters win at least sometimes.
by Harris on Oct 21, 2009 11:56 AM EDT reply actions
God I fucking detest Lane Kiffin, and his stunts and gags and publicity ploys. May he rot in a thousand hells, surrounded by bloated, fetid putrescence.
Then again, he does live in Knoxville…
by der schatten on Oct 21, 2009 12:02 PM EDT reply actions
If we really do see a change from Tresselball to Pryorball, it would help make the Big 10 one eleventh more exciting.
by AS on Oct 21, 2009 12:41 PM EDT reply actions
I absolutely love this one with Kiffen… that really made me laugh out loud at my desk today… thanks for that quippy post!! Any way you would be intersted in trading webstie links?
by Julia Cheyanne Hurley on Oct 21, 2009 1:09 PM EDT reply actions
Round 2: Saban said today in his teleconference that he got the idea from watching film of South Carolina doing the same thing last season.
by Marijuana Simpson on Oct 21, 2009 1:55 PM EDT reply actions
I expect Mark Ingram to emerge from a pile with his shoelaces tied together.
Welcome to Kiffin-ball.
by sevenDs on Oct 21, 2009 2:38 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t blame Saban for turning Kiffin down on the jerseys- god what if they lost?
The pressure is once again off the Vols as they become the only football team
to ever face two #1 teams on the road in the same year. UAT will have to win
by 21 to even feel good about themselves.
der schatten, why all the love? Are you a Georgia fan? A Hilltopper? Otherwise,
what have my mighty Vols done to you other than present like a randy female
baboon?
Meanwhile, we’ll go back to trying to make bowl game and convincing your recruits
to come to our school….
by Three Days of Orange on Oct 22, 2009 11:57 PM EDT reply actions
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