CURIOUS INDEX, 10/20/09

BECAUSE NO ONE IN ALABAMA HAS COLOR TEEVEE AND THEY ALL LIVE IN SHANTIES AMIRITE

Here Orson, I’ll complete that scene for you.

Stanzi and Iowa: Lord Bearcat, can you hear me?

Tony Pike and Cincinnati: (slowly coming to) Where are the College Football Heavyweights? Are they safe?

S and I: It seems, that in your rage, you jumped them in the polls to number 2

P and C: Nooooooooooo

(cut to Pike and Stanzi viewing the Rose Bowl)

I’m not quite sure what the hoopla is over the jersey color. LSU requests all the time to wear white away jerseys at home, and occasionally a team will say no. When that happens, we wear our regular home purple jerseys, and play the game as scheduled with little more fanfare than normal (I’m conveniently forgetting that whole “White-Out Vandy” bumblefuck of an idea from way back in the 90’s). Is there a tradition I’m missing? The fact that I’m color blind and rarely pay attention to jersey color may have something to do with my ignorance.

Or is this just a case of a fanbase getting swelled nuts over a snub by Little Nicky? ‘Cause that’s a movement I could get behind.

The only thing that kept the 2007 season from being a full-fledged modern art masterpiece was the disappointingly traditional championship matchup. It was ultimately a football season directed by Spielberg: he didn’t have the balls end it right.

If UF loses, here’s to hoping this season is at least directed by David Fincher or David Lynch—something like Boise-Cincy. If shit’s going to go crazy, let’s go all the way with it this time.

How has Natural Selection not claimed this tOSU “fan” yet?

Between that lisp, the rambling that makes no sense and the terrible attempt at a pep talk, he’s one weak magic trick away from being a young Lou Holtz.

Joseph Smith approves of GameDay’s choice.

The lisp is because he has two teeth on the top and one on the bottom.

I’m only sure of a few things. He is not an alum, and definitely not a season ticket holder. He does, however, pay women to have their pictures taken with him. So he has that going for him, which is nice.

I get the feeling that tOSU will get everything figured out someday. I just hope I am still lucid enough to see it.

Are you saying Lou Holtz pays for strange?

@Holly: We Alabamiaiauuuuuuuuuuuns weren’t given any color TV since they think we only see in black and white (i.e. – They think we’re all racists).

Oh, Buckeye fans, just when I forget how embarrassing you can be you use the youtubes to remind me. Allah bless you crazy fuckers.

That video is a joke right? That guy isn’t serious right? There is a reason I keep a gun under my bed, it’s these types of things that show me that I’ll soon be holed up behind my front door shooting at flaming demons as they descend upon the earth to claim us all. Holy………..those damn Mayans were right!

@DRBundy — Tradition, son: http://is.gd/4ss6d This game was played in home-and-homes for ages, and there’s been talk of bringing it back for years now.

Oh yes, Biggus, if only this was an affliction soley owned by some idiot Buckeye fans. I would gladly shoulder the burden of snuffing the life out of these types of buckeye fans, unfortunately, youtube seems to attract the losers from every fanbase that never could or would say these things in real life to a real person lest they get the beatdown they seem to have sidestepped up to that point.

Lane, for the love of god, don’t worry about your damn uniforms!

s/ Mark Richt

Puppet Golden Tate is living the life of Riley when compared to Hurt Kermit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVYTabWaSHI

*warning: if you don’t want your childhood memories tarnished, don’t click. I’m serious.

COTG will send us the firery kill-rock known as “Iowa/Cincinnati National Title Game” to punish us for the lack of burnt offerings and gluttonous pork consumption. His Will be done…

I am confused: wasn’t Terrelle Pryor last heard saying college football is easy?

This guy thinks teeth are for pussies. And he’s super pissed that he had to take time off from doctor shopping for Oxycontins to set Tressel and Pryor straight.

Honestly, Justin “the redneck rocker” Blythe’s parents have a pretty decent house.

I’d like to see the picture when the guy who owns that chopper found Jason Lee and Joan Cusack’s bastard child sitting on it.

The second string QB for Cincy came in and ran a 75 yard draw for a touchdown in his first series. He followed that up with a very solid performance and extended the lead against a ranked team on the road.

Naturally, Coach Kelly says he’s looking at the second AND third string QBs for next week’s game. When going five deep last year worked so well, there’s not much pressure on the coach to follow the depth chart.

Of course, none of this matters because Pike will start.

Which TP would you rather have under center: Tony Pike or Tyrelle Pryor?

Which TP would you rather have under center:

Lowly recruited Tony Pike or highly recruited Terrelle Pryor?

How many pounds of meth do I have to drop off in various undisclosed ’80s Camaros to get Subcommandante Wayne back?

I think Iowa-UC would be a cool MNC game, and with the way the ‘heavyweights’ are playing, it might be a better game to watch.

Screw the “Team X is unworthy beacuse they don’t have as big fan base as Team Y” Ratings should only be important to the networks, not an argument for how good a game will be.

Well, I just hope Tressel and Pryor see this…There is no doubt in my mind after watching and listening to Redneck Rocker that the two of them will right the ship…the well thought out way he spoke and presented his frustrations is what I can appreciate the most…and to think I thought I couldnt be more embarrased to be a buckeye after saturday…thanks orson..it took me three days to finally get my head 1/8 of the way back up only to have it drop back down after watching this!!

Crabapple: didn’t they figure it out in ’02? I think that was your natty in your lifetime.

Greed-o.

General S- I am much older than you think. I have had 4 in my lifetime so far. I hope we aren’t done.

Note to Lane: Have players stomp dance on midfield Pachyderm before the game. Later you can claim it was a calculated move to impress your dad.

Which TP would you rather have under center: Terrelle Pryor or Tony Pike?

That’s emblematic of what’s going on in some parts of the football world. Highly touted people and programs are flops while unheralded newcomers are kicking ass.

MrRedDevil #18,

I think Oxy is beyond his price range. Now what drug can he afford that would result in lost teeth? Hmmmmmm……..

Every time I hear Golden Tate, it kinda sounds like Golden Taint, and I giggle cause that would be something to see right there.

Just to clear something up here, when USC and UCLA did the jersey thing it was illegal and the punishment was loss of a timeout. Now after the rule change its legal if both teams agree but if they don’t its a 15 yard penalty at the beggining of both halves.

For tradition’s sake, Carroll did it. They lost their timeout. Then Slick Rick took a timeout before play began as well. (Either to even it up so USC wouldn’t have an excuse if they lost, or much more likely because they had conspired together from the beggining to bring back the tradition)

Which gets me to the point of my post. Can anyone imagine Saban being agreeable enough to do something…anything like this for traditions sake or any other reason? How much “good” would have to come from it in order for him to be gregarious enough let loose and go with it? Obviously tradition is not enough…but what if it meant saving the life of an orphan? 100 orphans? 1000? What do you think it would take?

How come it’s always the people with the most miserable lives who feel the need to share them with everyone else via youtube?

I don’t really care about the jersey thing. I like our away jerseys just as much as if not more than our home jerseys.

[BYU] Linebacker Terrance Hooks agreed… “College GameDay doesn’t go to just any school.”

He must have gone an extra long mission that caused him to stop watching Gameday some time around 2004.

That puppet show was a live action Worker and Parasite.

Ah interwebs! I am so glad you allow people with no obvious internal monologue to post videos that completely embarass their respective fanbase. Whether it is Oklahomo guy with his crazy anime obsession or this guy I don’t want associated with my Buckeyes. I have to ponder what goes on in the brain of them to allow them the sheer balls to post a video on the internet of themselves.

Dumb fan: Man that game pissed me off! Hey I am still sober enough I should make a video, that’ll show [insert team] that I mean business and if it were up to me, I would kick all their asses. Besides no one would ever make fun of me, I am smart, well versed, handsome, and plus I look like a bad ass.

Voice of Reason: /Crickets

That bottom tooth is hypnotic.

That gaunt tooth deprived yokel is still living at home! Sitting on the stairs that probably lead to his bedroom! This is a tOSU student/grad? Wow.

What can I say about the Redneck Rocker that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan? He looks bombed out and depleted.

I want to know why he continuously looks to his side throughout the video, as if an angry Pryor is about to leap out from behind the sofa.

His blood pressure can take it anymore….huh

HEY MA! Look at the lil spikey haired girl!

Serious question Swindle—

Are you trying to impress a “thick” girl, or do you really think the girls in those pics were underfed? The girls are healthy; the only person who looked underfed was the star of the video. That said, implants are pretty much always a bad idea.

Subcommandante Wayne is NOT fictional, damnit. A composite character perhaps but true in every detail.

The only place where you will find more spit built up, besides in this Model GED earner’s mouth, may be in the spit valve of the lead trombone player in the, Tournament of Roses Marching Band, on New Years Day, and that is even debatable. Besides, he didn’t say Thee Ohio State…or he may have, only made it through the first minute and a half to two minutes.