YE GODS, MAKE WAY FOR A TRUE WIZARD

An enchanted meadow. In Missouri.

larp

Oh, Knights of Auldwyn! You shall ne'er triumph against our merry troupe, assembled from only the most enchanted wooded glens and dales? Forsooth, relent in thine advance or taste our magick, the strongest in all creation and Boone County!

larp-dymwan-1

Knaves of Auldwyn, more like it! The Tigers Templar hath a boot steak for your dinner, for this be our land you hath traipsed upon!

We shall avenge the disastrous dealings of when last met, and reclaim the Sword of Everlasting Wisdom!

They brandish $55 broadsword purchased at flea market.

Nay! The Sword of Everlasting Wisdom remains ours thanks to our new and powerful wizard!

larp

We see no new wizard among your ranks! And don't be a dick, Steve. You know you can't bring a new member in without advance warning. Total dick move, especially when by rule we're playing a level down thanks to last week and with no real magical capabilities now that our elf broke his leg.

larp-dymwan-1

'Tis not our fault your elf can't hold his mead, and hath taken a grievous fall in the parking lot of yon Outback House of Steak. Indeed, if your elf were so magical he would heal himself, no?

THEY LAUGH A MERRY LAUGH.

larp

So not cool, Steve. There's fucking pins in it. He looks like a busted-ass cyborg.

larp

Anachronism! That's a one hit point foul on Knights of Auldwyn! Note it! Note it!

wizardspoon

My children, please. A great wizard has come to bring harmony to these woods by whipping your asses. I CAST SNUGGIE OF IMMORTAL PROTECTION.

larp-dymwan-1

That's not even a real magical item in our multiverse!

wizardspoon

Oh, I don't think you can get realer than this, bitch. I CAST ASTRAL ERECTION SPELL! BOOSH!

He waves his hands dramatically.

larp-dymwan-1

You mean "astral projection?"

wizardspoon

No.

larp

RETREAAAAAAAAAT!!!!

larp-dymwan-1

Huzzah! The Great Wizard hath made the Tigers Templar victorious again!

(HT: PunkOnDeck and Doc Saturday.)

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