EDSBSGPS: WHERE WE AT, WEEK 7

ATL. Pitt-Rutgers raht now. Shootout, Fla, Bama Saturday

Thank you, EDSBS, for referring to the Texas-OU game as the “Red River Shootout”, rather than the current cockamamie PC title bestowed upon it by 23 flavor Dr. Pepper.

Thank you for referring to the Texas-Oklahoma game as the “Red River Shootout”, rather than the current cockamamie PCBS title bestowed upon it by event sponsor Dr. Pepper (now with 23 flavors!).

Silly Con Valley. High risk for grills, booze, and karaoke, alongside Vandy-Georgia, SC-ND, Cal-UCLA, Bama-Spurrier, and other assorted delights. Having donated blood today, I see no way that heavy drinking could end badly.

Red River Shootout. Coffee & fried twinkies. UF/Arkansas, USC/NotreDame with Hefeweizen.

Afternoon undetermined games, but definitely whiskey.

Q: Does one need any sort of credentials at this blogger conference? Vegas isnt’ too far away.

Golf at 8:08, rush home for the noon game between tOSU-Purdue. Of course flipping over to OU-Texas* during breaks. Then rinse and repeat for the rest of the day and night until Reece, Lou and asswipe May sign off.

After attending USF/Cincy last night, Saturday is for recuperation, Florida/Arkansas, Red River Shootout, and USC’s annihilation of ND. And a little Ballcoach/Alabama, for good measure. All accompanied with Busch Light. “Busch Light: Quantity, Not Quality.”

Since USF got their game out of the way last night and I would like to stay married, I’m taking a bye week. But I will still find time for Texas/OU and hopefully a little bit of USC/ND.

TCU-CSU live and intoxicated. Then cuddling up with a bottle of sailor jerry’s for Tech vs. Tech till we lose consciousness. College: “It’s all about being smart while being stupid.”

At Michigan V. Delaware state

After that, it’s whatever we feel like on XM for the duration of an 8 hour drive.

Starting off trying to tailgate at the Head of the Charles crew race in boston (will succeed due to bitter cold and boredom). Then heading off to watch GT VT at the bar.

Fundraiser for pediatric cancer early during the day… then watching Ole Miss under perform against UAB.

Babylon by the L&N (Greater Birmingham)-

Too damn early flag football for the BamaTaxKids (8:00 MFAM)
Barn and Kentucky (Mrs. BamaTaxMan will watch-she attended the Barn)
Kid duty (with as much RRS/USC v Domers as I can sneak in)
Bama – Cocks to close out the evening (Why does Homecoming have to be a damn 645 CST kickoff, oh, right, we sold our soul to the WWL).

At HQ Control here in the Metroplex, secured from any threat of Corso firing some sort of weapon. As always, the viewlist is chock full of the hotness in key precincts.

The main events:

Red River Gunplay (OU @Tex-ass) – I just helped pay for sponsorship of this game by purchasing an iPhone from Ma Bell. At very least for that kind of money, Kindle could tip the Schooner over.

USC @ ND – Did Charlie let the stadium grass grow tall? Only his groundskeeper knows for sure.
 
The undercard is below.

Morning Session:

Iowa @ Wisky

Afternoon Session:

Arky @ Florida

Hawaii @ Idaho – The Kibbie Dome may have its roof blown off by lots of cheering if the Vandals get Bowl Eligible.

Night Session:

KU @ Intramurals

Cocks @ Bama

KY @ AUB

Dawgs @ ASU – The feel-good story of the year would be UDub getting a bowl invitation after the disastrous run they’ve had previously.

On The Menu: Grilled Chicken, washed down with beer from the 5.7 Liter Home Draft. (Yeah, had to try it.)

Day filled with poultry. Wild Turkey early. Pluck the Cocks later. May choke the chicken late to complete the hat trick.Roll Fucking Tide.

*Read in the imposing tones of John Facenda"

In the pre-dawn darkness and Arctic chill of Interior Alaska, one man awakens to face a day fraught with peril.

Braving the frigid iciness of the linoleum floor, Alaska Hokie takes the couch to endure another week of college football. Securing the loose blender in one mighty paw, he fortifies himself before the kickoff of another Red River Shootout.

But looming on the horizon are other, fiercer opponents: USC, Florida, and Alabama. After those giants fall is one final climax: Virginia Tech.

Alaska Hokie, you are an inspiration!

Don’t be afraid to double down on A-2, A-3. A-4, A-5 against a 5 or 6 showing. Whatever you do, you’re playing the dealer to bust anyway, right? The 1st time you do it is a special feeling, believe me. #idontreallyhaveagamblingproblemandyoushouldtrustmeanyway

Cheapest Beer on strip = O’Shea’s

Blowing Rock/Linville, NC

Starksville-MTSU early plus whatever SEC game is on, some OU/Tejas mixed in.

Drive 30 minutes to watch Asleep At The Wheel & The Lea Brothers Band (they’ll play it as long as Jerry Jeff sang it) for 3+ hours, in outside pavilion in 40 degree weather. Plenty alcohol & free food.

Later…See Satan run. See Satan run over Chikin. See Chikin lose.

In Lincoln for Piiiiirates versus Huskers. Pregame tailgate w/ Horns-Sooners and post-game snack of Tide and Gamecocks. Much bourbon in between.

At home recovering from the nastiest case of the flu I’ve ever had.

Nooners: Red River Shootout (Bradford shines and Big Game Bob gets his mojo back)
Crosschecking Clem’s Son / Wake (Yabba-Dabo-Do? not against Jim Grobe he do)
Iowa/Wiscy (more date rape seems inevitable)
Morbid curiosity UGA/Vandy (get back on the horse you hairy dawgs)

Middays: West F’n Virginia/Marshall (thye’re that annoying cousin GrandPap and the great-uncles said we had to let in the game even though Pap swears he’s the son of an Ohio riverboat whore.)
Crosschecking Gators/Hogs (Trap game? I don’t think so.)
USC/ND (If you’re taking the Irish take the points)
Morbid curiosity Groh/Friedgen (who wants their job the most? who cares.)

Early Bird Special: VT/GT (VT on a Beamerball special play)

Mains: Bammer/’Cocks (Bama covers the spread? Mr. McElroy meet Mr. Norwood)
Crosschecking Navy/SMU (Anchors aweigh and make ready for action, my brothers)
UK/Aubarn (the Chiz gets bowl eligible for the first time evah)
Morbid curiosity Kansas/Colorado (CO boosters cough up the cash to clip the Hawk after this one)

In Dallas wondering why the powers that be insist on an 11am kick off. Try to make it to the stadium by
9:30a. F***!
 3:30p USC/ND back at the hotel
Night Game(s) whatever is on at my buddy’s place and watching the sooners hightail it out of town
after the loss. Hook ’Em Horns!

Please God, if you’re real, please help out today. Make it hail or something? Maybe drop a little chunk of Skylab on the Condoms’ sideline? Please?

(SKLM, best of luck to your side. Detente for 24 hours?)

Also, I feel for you TX-Mobilehoma folks. 11:00 am starts only encourages you to drink all through the night. Actually, that doesn’t sound too bad.

‘Lanna, skipping the Ramblin’ Wreck parade once again. Like the Presidential Inauguration, everybody should see it once, but the entertainment value is not really that high (it’s very slow, cuz the Wrecks break down a lot). Plus, they start the damn thing at 8 a.m. on a 50-degree day.

Hope to see Georgia lose to Vandy at noon, then GT-VT tonight. It’s Homecoming at GIT, just because Paul Johnson sneers at your extra motivation (OK, sneer is his default expression, occasionally upgraded to glare. When he’s VERY happy, he smirks).

Help me Merle! I’m breaking out in a Nashville Rash! Right now, sitting in the hotel having an Irish Coffee.

As soon as Ms. Stoopnagle gets put together, we’re walking to Noshville for breakfast; then meeting the cousin and his little ones to walk to the game. If I recall the last Blackout I attended, then we’re all on our merry way to a funeral. Hopefully, this time my side is not the honoree of said event.

Then, unless anyone has a recommendation on a sports bar in Nash-vegas other than Corner Bar on Broadway, we’re going there to watch whatever is on the tv (hopefully SC-ND), drink whatever they have (probably beers of assorted flavors) and eat something. Who knows what?

Probably back to the hotel to polish off these PBRs and mix bourbon/cokes for the rest of the night… unless Georgia loses. In that case, I’ll likely go straight to Robert’s and try to forget this dirty whore college football who hates me and won’t treat me right…. although we all know she only does it because she loves me and I’ll be back by Thursday at the latest.

Home surfing on the couch this weekend. Cursing the damn flu that canceled my trip to Gainesville. (Feel your pain SE’Cer)

Early: Texas – OU ((Senile Corso + Guns) X safe distance away = awesomeness)
Iowa – Wisconsin (When will Iowa shit the bed?)
Georgia – Vandy (Just to see if the smart kids can throw all over the UGa defense too)

Middle: Florida – Arkansas (To watch Addazio continue to turn back the clock with UF’s offense. 1930’s here we come. Don’t be confused by the formations. Its the good ole’ 3 yards and a cloud of dust.)
USC – ND (To see the end of CW’s reign in South Bend)

Ending: GT-VT (Will be one of the best games of the day)
Bama – South Carolina (Huge win for OBC if he can channel the 90’s)

All topped off with a healthy dose of vitamin C and antibiotics. No beer this weekend. Damn damn damn.

my apologies, up front, to holly and all red-blooded American women who like the good old-fashioned hate of a great college football rivalry….

one of the consequences of putting babes on the sidelines and in the locker rooms and on the football shows, aside from the fact that none of them played the game, is that many of them bring a good dose of mommy sensibility to football… a warriors sport.

how else is one to explain the proliferation of "oprah moments’ we are treated to at every turn… to wit…

1. michael vick saying he’s sorry on tv… okay, we forgive you… thanks for crying.
2. the seemingly endless heart-rending stories of hope overcoming adversity… they are good stories, but they are not football (boston college two weeks ago… battling cancer… lance armstrong appearance…. etc… vomit). don’t get me wrong, i want everyone to beat cancer, but on saturday i want blood and guts and the players do to but they are being coached otherwise by the media… IF NOT, how else do you explain…
3. the just-now aired interview of those cute boys sam and colt nearly fellating each other on ESPN talking about how they share strategies and who caught the biggest bass. guys, i’m sure either of you could kick my ass ten times in a row, but in the interview you looked like a bunch of mincing fairies. here’s a suggestion for next time….

“i don’t want to talk to him right now because i want to win the game… bullshit call… win the game…. not practice… not practice… GAME, bitch!”

fire away captain.

should read ‘too’. sorry.

ping pong and hoops on the cotton bowl sidelines? is a deep-tissue massage next? yoga? EST therapy? huga? (vomiting)

From the Friendly confines of Grant Park,

Red River Rivashootoutwha? with a bottle of cheap 5$ tequila and OJ from Kroger
and Iowa-Wisconsin with a bottle of sadness

USC v ND – while making chili, so either will be drinking tequila, or maybe switching to beer, or pouring the tequila in the chili whilst drinking beer….feeling like a WINNER throughout
also sneaking peaks at Arkansas/Fla
more beer then taste test about three bowls of the chili

VT vs Georgia Tech next, with a lunchpail full of BEES and maybe some Terrapin honey infused Gamma Ray beer for symetry….

short bathroom break due to a) tequila, b) chili, c) watching Iowa-Wisc fingerbang each other for 3 hours, d) combination of all three

Main EVENT: Bama vs the shrivled cocks

and I’m also “studying” for a politics and policy midterm on Monday while doing all this so it’s gonna a be a schizo kinda day for me…

Got up early to cheer for my kid in the county X-country championships (go Newport Harbor!). Then I’ll see the start of Usc-ND. Then I’ll be off to watch the kid play soccer and I’ll have to watch the rest of the USC game on the DVR.

Wendy Nix. Wendy Nix. Wendy Nix. Wendy Nix. Wendy Nix. Wendy Nix.

@the Swamp for the trap game, sipping moonshine to hone my simmering Addazio hate. Home in time for the second half of South Carolina’s surrender (and wearing a Spurrier jersey for each occasion.)

BamaGreg wins.

Locale: Raleighwood

AM – watching my wife attempt to unload varies baby/maternity items via Garage Sale. (Not enough coffee and/or drugs to make this tolerable. Why do we have 5 strollers? Seriously. 5.)

Early afternoon – run to likker store and Harris Teeter for sundries.
Catch end of Shootout. Laugh at Big 11 and ACC attempts to set footbaw back 30 years.

PM – strap in for the upset of ND over Southern Cal.
Commence bourbon.

Steaks on grill. Switch to red wine with Mrs. Gamecock.

Late PM – multiple PBR’s – hide under couch peeking out at Satan, er, Sabin’s unleashing of the defensive hounds.

Very Late PM – thumb sucking; crying; is Hawaii at home ( I’m either up or down a couple hundred)?

GT vs VT, live in drunken nerd-vision

Open thread: http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/10/17/early-shift-open-thread/

Of course, my two fave teams are on at the same time. Start time of Red River Shootout allows for early mornin’ drankin’ – yay Mimosas! Then Esseeesee fun with the Pigs and goddamn Gators, very drunk by then. Then will watch the Bees in the hopes that at least one Georgia team can win today, cause I don’t think it’s gonna happen with the red and black (throws back another shot of tequila).