HOW FARES THE ACC? NO, REALLY. SOMEONE TELL US

Ayi Papi, Bunda is back!

2 out of 3 ain’t bad… (links that actually go to something worth clicking on)

Any ACC teams seeking a head footbaw coach at the end of this season should direct inquiries to Mr. Robert E. Davie, Jr. Mr. Davie is “tanned”, rested, and ready to provide solutions for all of your punting needs. For only a few corn dogs a year, disorganization, Neanderthal offense, and a defense that is depended upon to save your team’s ass every single week can be yours!

Just good to see my beloved Tigers even made the list, something about the ghosts of Tommy-Bowden-Bitch-Mentality hanging over Death Valley

This article needs a working Andressa Soares link. I’m also afraid to read the forthcoming Big 12 article.

You could’ve saved yourself a LOT of time with this post.

1.) Va Tech – eh, very good defense. Good for 9 wins and a bowl loss.

2-12.) Massive suckitude/flaws.

Oh, and does anyone know Ms. Soares’ Ass’ zip code? I’d like to mail it a letter.

@7

Each cheek has its own zip code. Which one did you want to mail your letter to?

Loved that Dab-O-Meter but could not recognize who is at the far left middle. Also would put Ken Hatfield above Bowden. At least he won an ACC Championship. Well, with Danny’s players.

Does anyone else remember the buzz about FSU coming into the ACC and the concern that they would be too dominant of a team?

Tony- then how’s this for an SEC SOTU: 1: Bama, 2: Gators, 3-12: deeply flawed teams.

Anyway, as for UVa: I wish Paul Tudor Jones could see what he hath wrought. By not ponying up to fire Groh (and make a run at Gill after Auburn showed their true, ahem, colors), he gave us a loss to the Ren Faire set (W&M) and an even more lost recruiting year than usual.

You’ve simply provided a straightforward (albeit technically insightful) analysis of the football in the conference. There’s so much more to it than that. For me it’s more about the pageantry, the cheerleaders, majorettes, marching bands, and delicious food.

You guys with your X’s and O’s and statistics. You take all the fun out of it.

Meant to type Strong, but it came out Gill. Though I guess it’s more realistic as Gill.

It strikes me that Jon Tenuta probably should’ve stayed at Georgia Tech and both that team and Notre Dame might be better off this year. (Although Tech seemed to do okay last year on the stat sheets, anyway.)

That woman has back for days. Put a week on it. The bunda is a nice respite from reading about the depressing City of God conditions that are the ACC.

It does provoke a question: which program is Little Ze?

GamecockTony – “9 wins” is one shy of accurate because we’re only 1/3 schools (USCwest + Texas) to win 10+ games over the last five seasons. The unexplainable bowl losses, however, are pretty spot on.

Hopefully Al can continue to work his magic and keep his job for another year.

@ now a hoo

Dude, you are getting Mike London. Everyone knows this, assuming the Carolina victory was an anomaly.

But, this is Groh, so he will find a way to stick around.

BWAHHHHAAAHHH… Oh my a Gamecock talking about flawed teams.. BWAHHHAHAAHHH. Go back to your house and count all your trophies. All ONE CONF CHAMPIONSHIP EVER!

Gamecock fans know a quality shanty town.

Also, Charlie Strong at UVa? That is like Chrismas, 4th of July, and my birthday with Erin Andrews stripping for my amusement, all rolled into one.

I would pay hundreds of dollars to see an interview with the UVa President/Chancellor/whatever he is and Charlie Strong.

Oh and Mr South Cackalacky… you’ll still lose to Clemson.

Why not point at the Big East? If you’re looking for a real sucky conference, look there. The ACC blows the BE out of the water.

Damn you, Swindle!! That video must be punishment for 62-24. But, I can’t stay too mad after the Andressa Soares link. That big ol booty made me forget what I was mad about.

@14

We wanted to keep Tenuta, but he wanted the head coaching job and he wasn’t even interviewed for the position. Then he moved on to Notre Dame. It would be nice to have someone blitzing ten on first and ten just for the hell of it, but the secondary was a blaring problem for Tech even in the waning years of the Tenuta Years.

@6

I don’t know if I’d be talking too much shit about Miami and Tech if I were a South Carolina fan. You lost to Georgia, a thing Tech won’t do, and you have two wins against Florida Atlantic and SC State. Miami at least had the courtesy to go 3-1 against four top 25 opponents to start their season.

“All you need to know about the ACC may be encapsulated in this factoid: The number one team for passing efficiency is Georgia Tech, meaning the conference remains a series of toddler offenses on tricycles jousting with with long plastic straws until someone gets poked in the eye and goes home.”

Teams with a better pass efficiency than GT:
Notre Dame
South Florida
Florida
That is all.

There are 116 toddler/tricycle combos in FBS, according to your definition. And GT is #1 in yards per pass attempt. And 2nd isnt even close.

And, regarding #19, insert the word, “voluntarily,” before stripping given the unfortunate event a couple of months ago. Still, she is fine.

Heh… I went to the SC State vs. South Carolina game a few weeks ago wearing a VT shirt and hat. One kid tried to make a smart remark but I cut him off and pointed out that only one of us was supporting a team that’s thrashed Clemson every time we played in the past decade and the current century.

And the Big East is definitely what’s held up as the example in every “But What the About…” argument that MWAC supporters trot out. Though there is beautiful symmetry in the most successful ACC teams in the post-expansion era being the former Big East schools.

Gamecock Tony-

“I don’t care if Clemson beat us, we’re in the SEC”.

“I don’t care if I have a little pecker, all my friends are hung like mules”.

Notice the similarity?

After taking on the most ridiculously difficult opening 4 games and looking good for most of them, they have fulfilled their quota of success. Miami will now lose a ridiculously winnable game (I shall vainly hope it’s next week against Clemson) and fall out of contention for national glory and the ACC championship, because Loki is the patron god of the ACC, and that’s all there is to it.

@22
One of those Top 25 teams was Florida State…

“Virginia Tech would be its Athens: a proud, functional state……..[that] has long, punchless stretches on offense.”

Hilarious.

#15, FSU is clearly Little Ze. The bully that used to terrorize the rest of the favala has been rendered unarmed and can be shot down by a mob of children.

@24

I hereby award you the “Taking Pains to Take Offense Award” for 2009 sponsored by the Home Depot. With clusters.

Yeah, the SEC is pure fucking aces this year. At least last year you could convince the nation that UGA and Ole Miss were decent and you really weren’t just a 2 team conference. Now your Gators are struggling to put up THIR-FUCKING-TEEN points on a LSU team that almost lost to MISSISSIPPI STATE!

At least you have a quarter billion this year from ESPN to help you rebuild all the glass houses breaking in SEC land.

“Pillow of vodka?” More like fucking Victory Gin for this god-awful conference.

Oh and Jacket and Coke: Isn’t there a Halo ODST online match that you’re neglecting?
I love that this logic prevails: I am a South Carolina fan, therefore I know nothing about college football.
Wouldn’t the correct logic be that since my team is flawed, I could more easily spot other flawed teams? Guess they don’t teach things like logic at GTech.

@26 Don’t know why anyone felt the need to be inhospitable in the first place, but the Carolina fan should have just replied with the Gamecocks’ HTH record against VPI. The last Hokie win was in 1974. We stopped the on and off series when both teams joined conferences in 1992, but y’all haven’t beaten any good SEC teams since then either.

I would jump at the chance to sub VT for several opponents on our schedule. You’re Ole Miss with a lesser quarterback and a better o-line.

Wow, I can’t wait to see the Big10 version. Is it going to be like Eastern Europe under Communist rule? Or European monarchies in their twilight?

looks up UNC’s ranking

lé sigh. At least we aren’t the most disappointing team in the conference yet. That belongs to the loser of next weeks UNC/FSU game.

I could make excuses about the UVA and GT debacles, but I’ll just be in the corner hanging my head in shame.

“This team would be slow in the Big Ten.”

Really? Trotting out this old warhorse again? When did Holtz and May start writing?

@9 fuck ken hatfield, dude let rice football stagnate for a decade

Who the fuck knew Mike Archer was still around? No seriously. We were joking about that in the stands last Saturday night as LSU/UF got unwatchable (from an LSU perspective). Someone mentioned bringing back Curley Hallman shudder, but I couldn’t stand to have a guy that got fired from a HIGH SCHOOL coaching gig. So I mentioned Mike Archer, because LSU needs more mustache.

Seriously…who knew Mike Archer was still around?

@32,

I wasnt offended – I just know that the best humor comes from an element of truth. That joke would have been funny (because true) any of the last 7-8 years. I have also noticed that football fans, and even more so football commentators, dont deal well with change. Thus the joke is not funny this year, because it is no longer true. And Orson apparently hadnt noticed.

Hey, wait a minute! NC State has a better than average..um…Mike Archer is a good..uh….Tom O’Brien is a Marine and stuff…..errr…

F it, I got nothin’- back to sifting through a rubble pile looking for a defense that is harder than this vat of curdled buttermilk….

@21 -

Tell the truth….You’re really John Swafford in disguise.

The “Groah must go” chants at Virginia might change to “Groah must stay” if he keeps winning. He obviously is now placing more time and interest in his team than his bridge game.

What kind of douche wears their “teams” shirt, cap, whatever to another college stadium? I never understood that. What does it mean: I don’t pull for either team but I love college football and my favorite team is ______? Why not just wear a regular shirt?

edbo @ 27:

Another way of helping him find his place in college football would be this:

Opponent Record
South Carolina 65-37-4
Wake Forest 56-17-1
NC State 49-27-1
Furman 41-10-4
Virginia 36- 8-1
Duke 35-16-1
North Carolina 34-18-1

@35

I’d love to get more SEC teams on our schedule and I think South Carolina would be a good fit. Unfortunately our AD has had a predilection for scheduling teams out of the MAC for a number of years and given the long lead on a lot of those scheduling situations it is difficult to make a clean break and getting things to align for a home and home with any other major conference opponents is apparently quite difficult, at least based on what the AD has stated at various points when asked about why teams like Kent State keep popping up from time to time.

In the “VT no longer loses to VMI regularly” era we’ve played a few SEC teams with mixed results. Bowl win against Alabama in the Music City bowl in the late 90s, loss in the 2009 Kick Off Classic to same, epic depantsing of LSU in 2002 in Blacksburg and then an even more epic depantsing of VT in Baton Rouge in 2007, flawless first half against Georgia in the Peach-fil-A bowl in 2005 followed by an epic snatching of defeat from the Jaws of Victory in that same game when Sean Glennon started spraying passes to everyone in a Georgia Uniform on our about our own 20. 16-13 loss to 13-0 Auburn in 2004’s Sugar, etc.

And I suppose the answer to #43 is, “I love college football and my favorite team is Virginia Tech?” Don’t see what the big deal is there. Lots of Hokies here in Columbia where I live, nice to run into them around town.

Hey #6…your name is GAMECOCK Tony. I think you need to go sit in the corner and be quiet. Enjoy your top 25 glory for the next 36 hours and good luck against Clemson, you’ll need it.