EDSBS LIVE! HALFWAY EDITION

1. Tenuta, supposed fixer of defenses. Though god only knows what sort of terror that could unleash.
2. Michigan. Though mediocrity is a step up for them from last year, it won’t make their fanbase complain any less as they lose at least 3-4 more Big Ten games. ND is probably also a decent choice, with the psyche of the team most likely resting on the results of this weekend’s game against SC. Win, and Charlie’s off the hot seat and Jimmy’s right there with Tebow in the Heisman rankings. Lose and Meyer will have to start taking questions about whether he’d leave for the ND job if it’s offered to him.
3. ND/UW or USC/UW. Two fantastic games with fantastic finishes. Kudos to UW for being relevant again this year.
4. USC, USC, USC. Beat them and the rest of the year is a golden path to the BCS for Notre Dame, especially now that Michael Floyd will be back for our last two toughest games on the road against Pitt and Stanford. Though now that I’ve said that, we’ll undoubtedly beat all three of those teams and lose agonizingly to BC and UConn.

1) Bobby Petrino punches no man. He only stares at them with his lifeless eyes until they explode. But I’ll probably want to see him punch the DC, Willy Robinson, in the face repeatedly after we get Tebow’d on Saturday.

2) Can I still say Ole Miss just for my own amusement? I’m hopeful that the 2nd half flop will somehow be Boise dropping a pair of WAC games. But that probably won’t happen.

3) FSU/Miami is still the most fun I’ve had watching a game that I had no vested interest in this year. On a personal level, I certainly had a lot of enjoyment in whipping the Aggies and jumping out 34-3 on Auburn. (the 21pt Auburn run that followed, not so much).

4) The worst remaining game should be this weekend in the Swamp. But after the beating is taken, I feel good about things and the Hogs should be in a good place to go on a run like what the aforementioned Rebels did at the end of last year. I don’t see an automatic “L” left on the schedule, although LSU should be looking for revenge after losing the last two years. If the D continues to improve like it did vs Auburn, then I can see a 4-2 or 5-1 finish and a nice little bowl game. I’m happy with that for this year.

1. Brad Scott, because TRAITOR

2. Auburn…

3. I’ll second Houston/Tech, but Georgia/LSU was worth it for the fourth quarter alone.

4. We still have Florida, Bama, and Tennessee…but in all reality, a 5-6 Clemson will probably fuck us out of bowl eligibility.

1. Martinez, of course, but for the lack of effort as much as the poor tackling and then I guess a nut-shot to Richt for inconsistent recruiting.

2. The entire ACC, but to narrow the field, Miami.

3. Georgia/LSU. I was put in suspended animation after Green’s TD in the 4th. What a great win! what????

4. Auburn because it’s the oldest rivalry and I’ll be there

Hey, you misspelled Illinoise.

1)Nobody, Gary Patterson just glares at them. They’ll get it. Actually if anything pop some champagne for getting rid of Mike Schultz (now the fantastic OC for Illinoise)!

2) Auburn, as good as the first five were, Bama, LSU, and maybe even Ole Miss are gonna lay beatdowns.

3) Virginia Tech/ Miami- just for the sheer dominance and the crap weather. 2nd- Bama vs. ANY, for the same reason.

4) BYU in two weeks in Mormontown. The demographic makeup of the TCU football team happens to be the exact opposite of Provo. However, seeing the Seminoles go up there and destroy them, plus last years rape in Fort Worth, and Max Hall is playing like the player I saw last year (a pick machine) and they lost Austin Collie. The only other factor would be weather, but seeing the Frogs win in fucking Siberian Winter against Air Force quells these fears. A win in Provo likely leads to BCS game, avoiding a fucking collapse at Wyoming or something, and if anything gives TCU fans more pleasure than BEATING Boise last year, its keeping them out of potential BCS games.

1. Steve Addazio had better get it in gear before Alabama in the SECCG. I don’t know the name of GT’s defensive coordinator, but he either sucks or has nothing to work with. I liked how the secondary was so bad against FSU he dialed up an all-out blitz, which was picked up by the offensive line. Great work, buddy.

2. I still can’t understand why people consider USC to be the #4 team in the nation. They’ve got to drop at least one more.

3. I had the most fun watching WVU-Colorado because of the live blog.

4. Nothing for UF until Alabama. I envision Tebow getting stuffed on 4th and 2 like against Ole Miss last year with some bad playcalling. For GT who the fuck knows, way too inconsistent to follow closely without mental anguish.

1. Dave Wommack, because it’s looking like that’s the Anglicized version of “Willie Martinez.”

2. Oregon. A loss against USC on Halloween, and then Blount getting a TV show where he goes around the world to fight people, like Russell Crowe.

3. FSU-GT was pretty fun, in the contrasting styles of how the offenses moved the ball against non-existent defenses. For FSU, the methodical march into the end zone, while GT just said screw it and got there in two plays. And because they occasionally showed highlights of the UGA-Tennessee game during it.

4. Logically, it would be Virginia Tech this weekend, but we all want to just beat UGA again. Because DawgNation gets really entertaining when that happens.

Can it be another team’s assistant? I think Meyer still owes Stan Drayton a cockpunch.

1. A grad assisstant who was in my class and now works for ND. Just kidding, he’s a good guy, but it would be funny to see him get clocked by Charles anyways. Real answer: Rick Minter, in back payment for 2005/2006, particularly for giving up 21 first quarter points at the Coliseum.

2. Oregon. The Quack Attack may well beat USC, but somehow, some way, they will lose enough conference games to hand the Pac-10 title to SC on a silver platter. To the Holiday Bowl with you, Ducks.

3. The Nebraska/Mizzou FAILfest in a monsoon was pretty funny.

4a. USC. At the very least, Charlie must look like he is prepared to coach a football game against Pete Carroll on Saturday.

4b. Boston College. Conveniently placed in the “Ultimate Letdown Game” spot on the schedule, and currently holding a zillion-game winning streak against the Irish. I don’t care how putrid their offense has been, I absolutely guarantee they will look good and play hard in South Bend.

1. Narduzzi. Sticking to the base 4-3 all day, every day (or rotating a DL out instead of one of the sad-sack linebackers not named Greg Jones when going to the nickel) against a spread offense? This is what is known as a “tactical error”.

Of course, this will never happen. Dantonio isn’t capable of enough emotion to punch anyone.

2. Notre Dame would, if they were playing anyone at all the remainder of the season. I’m going to go with Auburn, mostly because the better candidates have already slipped and are in free-fall (Georgia, every ACC team not named Virginia Tech, Cal).

3. For sheer entertainment value? Kansas-Iowa State (it was on the TV next to the MSU game at the bar). How often do you see a score of 12-6 on three TDs and three missed PATs? Houston-Tech is up there as well, but I like my random games with a side of hilarity.

4. Probably at Minnesota. We should beat Northwestern, WMU, and Purdue; we shouldn’t beat Iowa or Penn State. Minnesota’s the toughest to call, and may well be the difference between a Motor City rematch with CMU and a bowl game that doesn’t suck.

A weighty (ha!) literary reference one post after 1000 words of sex joke? A banner day in EDSBS-land.

1. Addazio, because “quarkback up the middle for 3-4 yards,” while technically effective, makes for a 3 hour heart attack once a week. Although, instead of Urban, I think Charlie Strong should get to throw the punch.

2. Notre Dame has “30 point safe-dropping from USC followed by losses BC, UConn, and—fuck it—the Wannstache” written al over it.

3. Miami – FSU had the double bonus of an entertaining game combined with good ol’ FSU FAIL, so that one’s up there. But for pure finger-pointing hilarity, USF-FSU is hard to top.

4. The SCAR game is the obvious choice, and saying SEC Championship would be inviting bad karma, but sersiously—hanging a 50 spot on even a 5-6 FSU team in Tebow’s last home game would make the season. You might ask, why treat FSU this way? Because fuck ‘em, that’s why.

1. Shawn Watson. NO MORE ZONE READS WHEN MISSOURI HAS 8-9 GUYS IN THE BOX, YOU ASSHOLE.

2. Iowa. Perhaps the voters forget that Kirk Ferentz is still running the show? It’s only a matter of time before the wheels come flying off.

3. Toledo-Colorado. If you could bottle the essence of Dan Hawkins failing, it would cure cancer.

4. Oklahoma, November 7 in Lincoln.

I’ll Play Dept:

1. Punch Old Man Monte Kiffin with a wet noodle ’till he is toothless. If it was not for Monte, his “born on third base, thinks he hit a triple” son Lane would not have been at USC and forced out the legendary Norm Chow, who is not wasting his talents with the gutless wonders ->ucla bruins.

2. Oregon is about to take a dive, especially after USC hammers ’em.

3. USC-tOSU was the game of the year for USC fans. Barks became the man, quality road win, blah, blah, blah. (Plus, it was fun seeing a few tOSU’ers eat a good meal of crow served cold).

4. Fear no remainder game…(USC already had its trap game)

1. Line up Martinez and Fabris, then give them the ultimate stooges slap/poke. Martinez for obvious reasons; Fabris because he won’t stop kicking directional kicks when they don’t work, sends LG out when everyone knows he will FC and for the piss poor play of the Defensive Ends.

2. GT because I hate them and want it to happen in the worst way. CPJ is also a fucking dick that needs to be knocked down a peg or two.

3. Georgia @ Arkansas becuase it was exciting and led me to believe our offense might be able to mask our defensive inpetitude. Boy was I fucking stupid.

4. The Florida game will be painful but could end up surprisingly pleasing if the unthinkable happens, and Tech because Georgia has to win that one to at least take Steak Shapiro’s mouth of CPJ’s cock for a fleeting moment. I know Georgia should lose both and likely will, but if I had to pick one I’d take Tech. At least I expect to lose to Florida. Life sucks.

1) Tressel never even curses, much less punch someone. He would look over his glasses though and they would slink away in shame. Candidates for the look would be his offensive coaches.

2) Boise State. Our good friend in the colf cart, Mr. Dennis Erickson, spent one year at Idaho. He evidently recruited some decent players to Pocatello as they ae 5-1 so far. Boise plays them late in the season. Hopefully there will be an upset and the earth can continue on its axis.

3) I thought UM and ND was pretty entertaining. Not much defense, but ND lost and that always makes for a good game.

4) tOSU has smooth sailing for a few weeks against Purdue and New Mexico State (with Dwayne Walker in the role of corch) before Minnesota, @ Penn State, Iowa and @ Michigan. I am not worried about Minny or Michigan, those won’t be close. PSU and Iowa will get exposed by Ohio State as pretenders.The national press will say that 9-1 PSU and 10-0 Iowa were terrible because Ohio State killed them, so they can justify punishing tOSU for the 2007 & 8 title games.

1. Gary Crowton. Vanilla playcalling with this talent should warrant regularly-scheduled pummeling. But Les won’t do it, because he’s too busy eating his taffy.

2. LSU. Too many games left to play against teams that will score more points than them, given the Crowton Factor.

3. (tie) The last 5 minutes of LSU-UGA. (tie) Chad Jones’ punt return, which looked like Cannon’s in ’59, and took just as long.

4. The 2009 Independence Bowl. This could be the only game that LSU will score more than 30 points in.

1) Dan Mullen. In the balls. Not that I’m even mad at him for leaving. It would just be so awesome if Urbs decided to set the tone at the Cowbell Corral during the pregame handshake. Then he should POINT. Emphatically. To his defense, and do the mindmeld motion where he takes his index and middle finger and points at his own eyes before pointing to Brandon Spikes’ eyes. Spikes would then nod wordlessly, helmet up and go rock some shit. Best way to start a game ever.

2) Ole Miss is already in free fall.

3) Pass

4) The Gators whole season (i.e. beating Bama in the ATL) now rides on the ability of some other receiver to be able to achieve separation from SEC defenders. Everyone is going to be watching Cooper’s hands now.
For the upcoming game though….this just in from the Orlando Sentinel:

Meyer senses a potential resurgence if the offensive line and wide receivers elevate their play. The defense of the Razorbacks (3-2, 1-2 SEC) is the worst in the league at 398.6 yards per game. “I think we’re pretty close,” Meyer said. “I like where we’re at.”

Paging Crazy Old Testament God. You have a call holding Line 1 from The Swamp.

1. Addazio, and in saying so I’ve become the fan I most loathe; the kind that finds fault in an undefeated and #1 ranked team. In my defense, he’s bald, and those people can’t be trusted.

2. Miami. The first 3-1 start was a cocaine binge, albeit a spectacular one. USF and at least one ACC mid-level team will be the dead hookers you wake up with the next day.

3. FSU-Jacksonville State: the day I knew, with equal parts relish and remorse, that St. Bobby was done.

4. Vandy, always Vandy. They sit there near the end of the schedule like a burning bag or dog excrement on the doormat every year, just hoping that THIS is the year the Gators finally step in it.

1. Stoops definitely owes one to each of his coordinators, but as I blame the offense for our losses, give it to Wilson. I’m not sure assault will help instead of exacerbate the problem of Wilson rolling into a ball when faced with adversity, but it will make the fan faithful happy.

2. LSU. That’s a good defense but a really, really, really bad offense. Someone else, probably several someone elses, will make them pay.

3. I actually really enjoyed the Florida-Tennessee slapfight. Watching Crompton against a defense is kind of like Hitchcockian suspense: you know there’s a ticking bomb and you’re just waiting for it to go off. Couple that with Hardesty playing his heart out, and that was good football.

4. No doubt, this week’s game against Texas is what will set the bar for OU. Win, or lose admirably, and we’re going to hang around to wreak havoc to the Big 12’s aspirations of putting a team in the title game. Lose badly, and we’re scraping together the pieces for that precious Alamo Bowl berth.

1. Skladany – Defensive Coordinator for Houston. If only because there is a difference between tackling and snuggling under the covers on a cool night!
2. LSU – “It’s ok sweetheart, you don’t have to throw down field if you don’t want to!”
3. I was at the Cougar/tech game and it gave me the hives! I mean that in a good way.
4. Coogs play CUSA the rest of the season, what do I do now? Pick the Tulsa game? Have you ever been to Tulsa?

Oh, flaunt karma if you will Orson, you devil!

1. The easy answer is Willie Martinez, but I’ll go with the “special” (and I mean that in a retarded kind of way) team part of John Fabris.

2. Is there any other answer to this other than a 5-1 South Carolina? Really, Orson, too easy.

3. Georgia Tech-Miami was a lot of fun to watch. Not because Tech lost, but… well, yeah, because Tech lost.

4. What game is next? Vandy? Yeah, I’ll take Vandy since they will undoubtedly be transformed into world-beaters by the vaunted Georgia defense; then Georgia Tech.

Fuck you, Orson. Fuck. You.

1. Predictably cruel to only give two options here, Orson. Eat a dick.
2. LSU. After realizing just how unfathomably bad Georgia is, and what was required to beat them, the Tiggers could drop 3 of 4 to the combo of Auburn, Bama, Ole Miss and Arkansas without the slightest register of suprise.
3. UW-USC. Win forever. Unless you don’t.
4. There is only one path to redemption.

/claws out own eyes through Halloween mask and feels liberated having done so.

1) The humanitarian does not punch his archangels. If there is a disagreement they go bodysurfing together and the zen of mother ocean makes everything alright.

2) That would be Notre Dame. They crawl back into the rankings just in time for their lowly pass defense to encounter the return of RoJo. Little Jimmy’s Heisman campaign goes down in flames when he faces a real defense. On the other hand if the domer’s keep it close maybe Charlie will get another 10 year contract extension.

3) Game of the year was beating tOSU in the shoe, though the big win at Cal was sweet as well.

4) The key game looks to be @ Oregon. After the debacle in Boise it looked like Cal was going to be the biggest threat. Now the Ducks are looking scary again

1) It looks like Steve Addazio turns out to be a play calling bore. Closer to Jim Tressel than I care admit. He deserves a punch to the face.

2) Iowa is bound to regress to the mean like always.

3) Georgia at Tennessee. Complete and absolute shock does wonderful things for hangovers. Also, imagining Monte Kiffin tying Crompton up and leaving him in a broom closet in the basement of the stadium is an awesome visual. I bet Monte is a mean motherfucker.

4) South Carolina looks the be the toughest match up left in the Gators regular season.

4) Key game for Weis probably isn’t USC (win or avoid blow out), but Pitt 11/14.

Should Weis enter with 2 losses that’s likely his 1st game back with both elite WRs.

Tate gets extra yards when he 360’s but not so with Floyd. But Floyd’s yards are still #10 to Tate’s #4 at the mid-point despite missing half his time.

Huge game.

I don’t really want Dave Wommack (GT’s defensive coordinator) to get punched, but I’d like him to be shaken about the shoulders some, at the least. Kind of a “think, man, think!” type of thing.

1) Dave Womack (GT D-coordinator) – Georgia Tech has only forced one punt in the last nine quarters. Going back to the 3rd quarter of the Clemson game they’ve only forced five punts in the last eighteen quarters.

2) Georgia Tech because the level of defensive fail is going to overpower the offensive prowess eventually and Al Groh is 6-0 in October between last year and this year

3) It depends on the type of enjoyment being derived, schadenfreude-wise would have to be the triumph of the Crompton

4) The crux? Someone discovering the lost art of the defense. Otherwise, Virginia (Poly)tech this weekend. Either we compete for a Coastal title after a win or flame-out to an 8 or 9 win season (dependent on whether the Ginger Ninja plays in the sun on Nov 28)

“Notre Dame would, if they were playing anyone at all the remainder of the season”

Sorry Spartan Dan but the Spartans were in the easy part of ND’s schedule. The rest includes includes 1 loss USC & Pitt and 2 loss Stanford (beat USC) Navy (almost beat tOSU), BC & Conn.

Im not a fan, but as I live in Louisville, I would like to see Kragthorpe punch, then fire, his OC. Once he wakes up, I would like Jurich to point out that firing himself qualifies as quitting and the school owes him no buyout. Also, no takebacks.

1) Tressel should punch Ohio State’s OC, Jim Tressel. Stop hitting yourself, Jim, and hire a real OC.

2) Iowa- bound to lose on 11-14 at the Shoe, they’ll drop another one before then, only to be relegated to the Cap One or Outback Bowl and then be subjected to a Cromptoning or similiar violation. Not a horrible season for Iowa, but a good fall from where they are now.

3) Likely UM-ND, exciting game that ended with an ND loss. Win-win. ND-Washington was a good one too, props to ND for some fun games to watch.

4) At Penn State, for sure. Iowa game notwithstanding, this will be a battle. Take the under though, if you’re betting.

1) Punch Jim McElwain. A) Being in the red zone 5 FREAKIN TIMES and B) kicking field goals. Worst game I have seen offensively in awhile passing the ball.
And punch the QB coach, cause they havent taught McElroy to quit staring at Julio prior to the snap, during the snap, and after the snap, til he throws the ball to Julio whilst he has 5 guys covering him, one on his back, and another riding his shoulders and two more wrapped around each leg, and the other hanging from his free arm, only THEN he decides to throw it to Julio horizontally, not at the moon where Julio could go get it.
2) Auburn-Hands down……they were who we thought they were. A high school coach offensive coordinator coaching a QB Auburn stole from Troy. FROM .TROY. Not from the Men of Troy. TROY-As in TROY,ALABAMA. Enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling you had for 5 games, TigerPlainsmenEagles, its gonna be a longer stretch coming up here in a few weeks, and that depth chart thingy may be the thing that flings you off the cliff, on fire into a Faces Of Death croc farm.
3) Boise St. vs Fresno St—— This is how you play backyard football, people. Defense just gets in the way…..great drinking game-drink once for every play over 10 yrds, drink twice if they score….(5 mins into the 4th quarter I passed out)
4) South Carolina should be a good one, UT should be good since we have waxed that ass the past 3 yrs, even with BAD teams. They have a decent defense, so do we. LSU will get pounded in Bryant Denny if they dont find a QB fast and some sort of passing game to keep the blitz off of Shepard.They won’t run the ball on us.
 I was hoping for a better Auburn team, but looks like they will be all gimped up when we go to whoop em again.
I like our chances in the SECCG with Tebow playing the role of “game manager JPW” for Florida this year for a change. If he tries to run and pound the rock on us, he will get pounded back, and he could get hurt. This is his warning.

1. Mike Markuson. He’s the O-Line coach and running game coordinator, and both have been pretty terrible this year.

2. LSU. They will lose several more games this season.

3. FSU/Miami was fun mainly because it was the only game during the first weekend that was worth a shit. Also, watching Notre Dame lose any close game warms my heart.

4. @ Auburn on Halloween. Fingers crossed on Nutt dressing up as The Joker.

First time I make it all season and there’s no chat link. FML.

Chat: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/FlashChat/Chat.aspx?HostUserURL=EDSBSLive

1. I’d give Charlie a handjob if I could find the darn thing.
2. A few previous top 10 teams that will not finish there: LSU, Ole Miss, Georgia. Lets add another yet to be: South Carolina
3. FSU / Miami for its surprising entertainment value sans hype.
4. What will the poll voters do to prevent Boise or TCU from climbing to #2 as all around them fall?

1. We haven’t lost yet, so Leavitt does not need to deck anyone. Even the things that have gone wrong (only reliable kicker falling off a Busch Gardens ride, Grothe tearing his ACL) have been bad luck and not something that anyone should be blamed for. But we know it won’t take much to set him off. Anyway, in absence of an assistant coach, I’d like Leavitt to deck Greg Schiano at their next pregame handshake. We all know he wants to do it.

2. Iowa, LSU, and Notre Dame are all good choices. I vote for Notre Dame because it will be fun to see Tom Hammond and Pat Haden make excuses when it happens.

3. Washington/USC made me happy. Georgia Tech/Clemson was curiously exciting. Houston/Texas Tech was a fun game. USF grinding FSU into hamburger was also fun.

4. Every game left on USF’s schedule except for Louisville is huge. I doubt this will happen but if they get through Cincinnati/@ Pittsburgh/West Virginia unscathed in the next three weeks, they can get our hopes up to a level so high that yet another bewildering loss to Rutgers will lead to mass suicide in Tampa. Also the Miami game is important for many reasons.

4.

1. Nick Saban punches Gus Malzahn…I know you meant assistant for your own team, but…oh well. I actually can’t see Saban punching him though, maybe he could beat him in an arm wrestling match (I bet he has that “old man strength” – you know what I mean, I’m 28 and I bet my 80 year old grandfather could still wrestle me down), or just give him a good indian burn.

2. Ohio State – they will drop one or two more. They were lucky to get away from Wisconsin being outgained 368-184. No worries though they’ll be right back up there in the top 8 or so for the 2010 preseason poll.

3. Bama vs. Va Tech – still the most exciting, mostly due to season opener jitters.

4a. Tennessee could be a trap game if Crompton somehow maintains his “confidence” through the bye week. Somehow I doubt it though, I think a UGA secondary which has already helped 3 QB’s set career records this year played a big role.

4b. LSU is the real major threat standing between us and the SECCG

1. Pete Alamar is the standard among Cal fans, but really this year Bob Gregory needs some sense beaten into him. Our coverage schemes are lousy and our previously-beastly pass rush has been magically neutered. A lot of stuff that’s happened to Cal over the last two or three games has been kind of understandable if you ditch the preseason rationalizations, but the downturn of the defense has been mystifying beyond the fact that we lost 3 senior linebackers.

2. If everyone hasn’t forgotten Stanford already from their “4-1? No shit?” run to open the season, they’ll have forgotten them by the end of the season when they end outside of bowl eligibility.

3. I’ll go with Bama/VTech just ’cause I like that kind of heavyweight battle to the death.

4. I don’t even know what happens if we lose this weekend to UCLA. If we win, on the other hand, shit that’ll be the first one Tedford’s gotten in LA in 8 tries so that’s kind of progress.

1. Our QB coach at Starksville. Whomever the hell he is. Tyson Lee is a walking TO machine (10 – 6 INT, 4 fumbles – in the last 3 games).
2. USChikin. History repeats itself. They still have Bama, UPig on the road, Gaterz, plus Beeg Orange & the upstate SC team they always manage to choke to. And Candyassbilt, who has beat them the last 2 years. That’s 3 sure, maybe 4-5 losses.
3. MSU/LSU. We lost, had 4 TOs but it was a hell of a game. Two years ago it was 45-zip.
4. If we go 4-8, 5-7 and beat Ole Mistake, that’s progress and I’ll take it. We have two outstanding RS FR QBs next year, and no way they can be as bad as what we have now (see #1 above).

1. Martinez on a Triscuit and Fabris on a Captain’s Wafer.

2. UVA.

3. Arkansas over Auburn. Because it gives me hope that we might win two between now and Tech.

4. Most Painful: Tech. Always is. #2 should be UF, but the past nineteen years have a comforting numbing effect…so it has to be Vandy this week. A loss there, and it’s Ray Goof 1995 all over again…WE NEED MORE BACKUP THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD

1. If Paul Johnson punched Dave Wommack, it would look like the scene from that old Tales From the Crypt move where Billy Zane punches through some cop’s head then rips it off. Thats right, fist through head ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T5t1CAEOvY , 5:30). So, I’d prefer if a little girl slapped Wommack around insted, like when the little girl slaps her German dad around in Saving Private Ryan right after Vin Diesel dies. Just something sad and embarrassing to make him really evaluate what is going on here.
 
2. Miami. They are primed for embarrassing losses to Clemson, Duke, and UVA. Probably not, but I’d like to watch that.

3. GT/FSU. Nothing beats front row seats when the FSU dance team is shaking their fun stuff in your face. Mmm, black spandex shorts and white cutoff tops, it’s really all a man needs. And watching Josh Nesbitt orchestrate touchdowns in record time AND SNATCH THAT BALL BACK. THAT BALL IS HIS MOTHERF***ER. HE WILL F***ING KILL YOUR ASS IF YOU TAKE THAT BALL AGAIN.

4. GT has to beat the goddamned Hokies, and then not have a boner of a game for the rest of the schedule.

@31

really? Troy? Chris Todd played at Troy? And you call yourself a football fan! He played at Texas Tech. Todd actually started over Harrell until he got hurt.

@28: Okay, USC I’ll give you. But 5-1 or otherwise, the Wannstache is still the coach at Pitt. Stanford hasn’t played USC yet (beating UCLA is an altogether less impressive accomplishment). Navy? When your schedule to date includes Rice, WKU, LaTech, and Air Force you damn well better not have more than two losses. Ditto UConn, whose wins to date are Baylor, Ohio, and Rhode Island. BC’s gone for negative yards in the first half TWICE this year already, an accomplishment I would have thought impossible.

1) Shawn Watson-Run the fucking ball with a fullback in front blocking, not out of the shotgun, PLEASE! It worked before, it will work again. Bo and Carl Pelini should do some old-school WWF tag team shit.
2) Colorado is probably in Illinoise territory, but I hope they play teams close ala against Tejas, just to get crushed in the 4th quarter.
3) Nebraska-Mizzou. I was pissed for 3 full quarters, but the D and Ndamukong Suh looked pretty fuckin great. Plus, fuck Mizzou.
4) KU in Lawrence is big for the division, but I’d also like to see Bradford on his ass looking up at Mr. Suh several times when he comes to Lincoln.

1. Whoever is in charge of the Georgia Tech defense. That guy’s a serious scrub, and likely to blow our chances at a conf title game birth.

2. Miami, I hope, followed by Virginia Tech.

3. You are totally right, it was the Houston, TTU game. That thing was awesome, so sad those dudes lost to friggen UTEP. Does utep still have the alabama/strip club guy?

4. It looks like we’ve got an awesome shot at doing great things if we can escape VT. Its a home/night game so we’ve got a chance, if you Defense doesn’t play like they did against fsu, cuz tyrod tailor is effing money.

1) After dumping the already lifeless body of OC Rich Olsen in Tempe Town Lake, Dennis Erickson needs to bitchslap himself – - after all, he decided to handle playcalling duties this season, and obviously that has worked out grrrreeeeaaaat gag! Of course, having a corpse at QB doesn’t help much.

2) Miami. Please.

3) Tie between LSU/UGA and USC/UW – - the slew of penalty flags in UGA’s loss reminds us that the PAC-10 hasn’t quite cornered the market on crappy officiating!

4) Um, now that the Sun Devils somehow defeated the lifeforce that is Wazzu…oh hell, any remaining game could be a loss! Actually, ASU’s defense should be able to keep them in most of the remaining games (save for the Quack Attack), but the offensive offense will continue to be the anchor.

@42
The correct verbage should have been " a QB Auburn STOLE from Troy" since he was leaving TT instead of waiting in line behind soon to be undrafted free agent Graham Harrell to go to Troy, then switched commitments once The Tony Franklin System™ was on its way to Auburn.
“Todd had known Tony Franklin since his high school days when Franklin taught his coaches how to maximize the spread offense. After one year at Hutchinson, Todd decided he was going to transfer to Troy, where Franklin’s offenses were putting up huge numbers and driving big boy opponents like Florida State and LSU absolutely crazy.”

You guys are all charlatans (at least re: #3)

1. FL’s Steve Addazio, along with the attendant “Wake the F—- Up!”

2. No-tra Dame. For being… wait for it… Notre Dame!

3. I thought OU-Tha U was a fun game to watch. Seeing the definitive nail shoved up the coffin’s sphincter of Oklahomo’s season was fun to watch. And it was pretty competitive the whole game. Guns were slung, staches were present (anyone catch the TV shot were the guy with the 1ft fake stache spreading it with one hand so he could chug a beer with the other, completely oblivious to the national camera in this face)?

4. The Nazi Germany- Soviet Russia style showdown against ’Bama in the SCCG. Alabama looks like the best team in the country, anyone else would be a pushover after that.

1) Who ever is in charge of teaching our defense the fundamentals of tackling. It may also warrant a swift kick to the nuts.

2) A pity that Ole Miss already jumped off the cliff. But i was immediately puzzled by their top 10 ranking for beating TexTech…. cmon pollsters…they are STILL ole miss…and Nutt is at the helm.

3) ND/UW – a nail biter to be sure…but any fan of ND knows what a wonderful relief it is to see a real kicker on the field again for the domers.

4) This weekend, USC @ ND. itll be a severely hyped up game [for whatever reason]… underdog touting, transitive property claiming, a look back into history [70’s Ara era] upset pulling, “Please God/Jesus/Mary…anyone else up there with the power to pull a miracle string…” praying spectacle to generate ratings from irish fans that are gluttons for punishment at the hands of unrealistic expectations. If we get throttled again, the sails will go limp and i fear the injury excuses will start flying, etc. Hope, attention, and support for the irish team will fall right off the wagon into the mudslinging pits and the team will follow suit resulting in losses to BC, probably Pitt…maybe Stanford. who knows.

A win, though, would probably cause an axle to break on the band wagon with so many people jumping on it against better judgment of this still being a team that is learning to put it all together. they arent elite. they are just Very good on their best of days…and ok on their worst…but a win this weekend would do wonders for the rest of the season in regards to confidence and monkeys being removed from backs

1) The offensive coaches will have a battle royal to see which one of them gets to sit down with Coach Tressel for a cup of De-Caf and calmly talk about where their offense can improve!!
2) Iowa is going to take a few hits and Auburn is going continue to bleed massive blood from the cut Arkansas gave them
3) Hey it is college football…they are all fun to watch…even an offense that can only generate 186yds 4 first downs and still manage to win by 18!!
4) Only Iowa and Penn State left in the road for us neither of which worry me too much…Cant see us gaining any national respect by beating those two teams…so our next road block for pure humiliation will be who we play in a BCS bowl…(is it groundhogs day? I feel like I have already seen this season…)

1. Willie Martinez.
2. Willie Martinez.
3. Willie Martinez.
4. Willie Martinez.

(5. Jon Fabris.)

Oh – am I in the wrong place? Is this not the four(ish) people who make me fly into a murderous rage thread?

1. I’d like to see Hawk attempt to hit OC Eric Kiesau. Of course he would miss and end up knocking himself out cold.
2. Georgia Tech/FSU was delightful. Option football run well is fascinating. The copious cocktails flowing by the fourth quarter didn’t hurt either.
3. VA Tech will build the hype – helped by the devastating performances put up by ‘bama — find a way to fail. Will it be losing the ACC title game to Wake or losing to Al Groh’s Cavaliers?
4. The CU program looks like a small pasture after a visit by Ralphie: trampled and covered in dung. The only good thing that could come out of this season would be beating the Bugeaters in the final game.

@43 I lost track of USC’s annual PAC10 flub, buy yes 2009=Washington, 2008=Oregon State, 2007=Stanford. But no matter how you slice it 6 teams averaging around .725 isn’t an easy finish. Not counting USC, the average Sagarin predictor for the other 5 ranges from 19-49 (avg. 33). Of course USC is the only shot at a marquee win unless Pitt wins out.

@53
Keep dreamin. You better hope Eric Bienemy, Greg Biekert, Chad Jones, and Darian Hagan have more eligibility left. You could even break Carruth out of prison, but you’ll still LOSE.

1. Tressel wouldn’t punch offensive coordinator Jim Bollman, he’d just secretly have asst coach Darrell Hazell do it for him.
2. I’ll go with Michigan with the safe pick. Though their bubble has already been burst despite Tate Almighty’s refusal to go down without a dramatic comeback. LSU is bound to fall as well.
3. Still waiting.
4. With the 3 toughest conference games coming at the end of the season, this isn’t applicable to OSU. I guess you could say the USC game but an early loss to a higher ranked team doesn’t make or break the season. We are where we expected to be.

Need to edit my no. 1.

Bollman would give Tressel three options to choose from:

1. A punch in the face
2. A kick in the balls
3. A run up the middle for no gain

Needless to say, Bollman’s face and balls are still in tact.

As a depressed Dawg…

1. Willie and Bobo – thanks for the UGA bonus of getting two…actually I would like to hit Willie with a truck and beat Bobo until he understands that 2nd and 12 does not mean run the ball that hasn’t moved on the ground in the past two weeks.

4. Here lies the problem…do you fear the mighty and take the blistering hits….again (UF and Auburn)…or do you fear losing to the mediocre proving just how far you have fallen. Of course we are going to loose to UF….EVERYONE is going to lose to UF….now losing to KY…that would suck…

I hate you Willie…