CURIOUS INDEX, 10/12/2009

by Orson on Oct 12, 2009 9:22 AM EDT

That wasn't all he took.

Florida ended a 32 game LSU win streak on Saturday nights, no mean feat at the Estadio Azteca of the SEC, even if it was an ugly slapfight featuring abysmal qb play at times. Big Ten fans, please: pile on. We won't care, since we're still sweating out the eight types of jambalaya and gallons of Abita Amber consumed during the course of the weekend. What does it smell like in here, you ask? Victory and impending cardiac disease, that's what it smells like here. More on this later, but one request of Florida coaches: you have Aaron Hernandez on the field. He has two very good hands. Perhaps you may want to use those from time to time. Yours, fan who is beginning to suspect Steve Addazio is a severe downgrade from Dan Mullen. These are the kind of things you give opposing fans time to think about while you're stalling the game by getting three false start penalties on one series, LSU. Those things take forever.

(The fellows at the Geaux Show found a pleasant enough way to pass the rainy Saturday morning, speaking of glorious time-killers: a live show from the tailgate. PodKatt's New Iberia-style jambalaya was the spiciest we had all day, a kind of delicious, savory pepper-spray assault on the senses. Fantastic business all around.)

An expert on head injuries, that man. Urban Meyer consulted with someone who knows from brain trauma when deciding whether to play Tim Tebow or not:

Meyer said he also talked with former Ohio State coach Earle Bruce and legendary coach-turned-ESPN-analyst Lou Holtz to get their thoughts on how to best decide whether to play Tim Tebow against the Tigers.

If years of playing football and simply being Lou Holtz didn't do the trick, coaching at Notre Dame and South Carolina had to finish the job of giving Coach Holth a lingering low-grade concussion at all times--and if that didn't do it, listening to Bob Davie speak on a daily basis would have finished the process.

Numbers are fun and sometimes hard to budge into favorable positions. Dawg Sports now supports the deposing of Willie Martinez as defensive coordinator at Georgia after Jonathan Crompton distracted the UGA safeties with sparklers and had a game exactly three thousand times better than any game he has ever played ever against the Bulldogs. To wit:

For those who still need convincing, though, here is the tale of the tape: Georgia allowed 31 points to Auburn in 2005, 38 points to West Virginia in the 2006 Sugar Bowl, 51 points to Tennessee in 2006, 35 points to Tennessee in 2007, 30 points to Florida in 2007, 34 points to Troy in 2007, 41 points to Alabama in 2008, 38 points to LSU in 2008, 49 points to Florida in 2008, 38 points to Kentucky in 2008, 45 points to Georgia Tech in 2008, 37 points to South Carolina in 2009, 41 points to Arkansas in 2009, and 45 points to Tennessee in 2009

This is akin to Gourmet suggesting buttter is bad for you. Which it's not, since we didn't see any unhealthy people in Baton Rouge, or even in Louisiana, for that matter. In fact, their healthy girths suggested the place was the cradle of well-being and health itself, so well-fed and jolly were they!

That thing that works? Let's not do that. Perhaps Gary Crowton can astral plane, since the refusal to do something that worked in other situations possessed Rich Rodriguez, leaving Andy asking: where was Tate Forcier on Michigan's last drive?

And Dick Vitale Wept. Greg Paulus remains the starter at Syracuse despite struggling with any throw not involving a bubble screen against West Virginia. You don't care about Syracuse football, but perhaps you hate Greg Paulus and find his failure fascinating, so there you go.

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There have been numorous reports that I was sleeping in the fetal position next to my bed when I was found on Sunday morning. It was a good weekend for all. Hell, I’m not even that pissed off that we lost.

by Kevin@LSU on Oct 12, 2009 9:27 AM EDT reply actions

^Oh, no you don’t…y’all ain’t stealing the “We may lose the game, but we’ve never lost a party!” thing from us! That’s OUR meme…and that’s all we have (especially if they keep starting Snead)!

~signed, all of Ole Miss

by the ex-croominator on Oct 12, 2009 9:40 AM EDT reply actions

FML.

by Silver Britches on Oct 12, 2009 9:41 AM EDT reply actions

Dear Ole Miss,

Catered food isn’t tailgating. That is all.

~ Signed, all of LSU

by Kevin@LSU on Oct 12, 2009 9:44 AM EDT reply actions

Sounds like Urban Meyer heard the “Doctor is in” and naturally assumed Dr. Lou is an actual doctor. That’s scary on multiple levels.

by formerlyanonymous on Oct 12, 2009 9:46 AM EDT reply actions

Dear Mark Richt.

Patience is a virtue. Willie Martinez deserves many, many more chances. Also, Mike Bobo is doing a heck of a job.

~ Signed, the Georgia Tech fanbase

by Golden Hand on Oct 12, 2009 9:49 AM EDT reply actions

If Willie Martinez is gone at the end of this season, it means I’m wrong, and Mark Richt doesn’t consider UGA football an internship program for his incompetent friends. But if he is indeed gone, the offensive coordinators of the SEC owe it to the guy to at least send him a Pepperidge Farms basket or something as a thank you for all the success and money he’s indirectly helped them make. Rich Rodriguez would need to get in on it, too.

by JoeDawg on Oct 12, 2009 9:53 AM EDT reply actions

Well said, Kevin.

Speaking of food, the jambalaya was the creation of my buddy Big Wee from Mandeville, the big dude you met
at our tailgate. One thing you dont do is take credit for another man’s cooking.

by PodKatt on Oct 12, 2009 9:54 AM EDT reply actions

- well played sir. I think the Bama nation would agree that the LSU faithful have the tailgate engine running like a well oiled machine (as long as said oil is lard mixed with Abita).

I actually stopped watching the UF/LSU game for 20 minutes and when I came back, nothing had changed. This must be what watching most Big 10 games is like.

by The Snake will Drive Again on Oct 12, 2009 9:54 AM EDT reply actions

I’ll take a 10 point loss to quite possibly one of the best CFB teams playing right now if it means we can get rid of that horribly misapplied #4 ranking. Upside? Defense looked so much better than last year (aside from repeated offsides penalties and that blown coverage in the night’s only TD) and as much as I’m skeptical of The Chief’s methods, anything is better than the Bumblefuck Experiment that was the 2008 Defensive plan. Downside? Everything not special teams and defense.

Man…what a day. Soooo much food, soooo much drink, such great company, and only one asshat opposing fan sighting all day. The only thing that would have made it better is a win (or maybe a QB) but hell, I’ll take an overcast day in BR over just about anything else.

I didn’t feel too bad after the game, mostly because I didn’t feel that good going in to it. If I were a Florida fan, I’d have some heartburn over that offense. Not time to panic, but to beat Bama UF is gonna have to put more than 13 on the board, baby rhino or not.

by DrBundy on Oct 12, 2009 9:55 AM EDT reply actions

Dear Candle Enthusiast,

This year’s “Pumpkin Pie” scented candle makes a great fall addition to any room in your home or office, as in the case of mine.

~ Signed Jim Tressel

P.S., Thank you fans. Preparation.

by Kevin@LSU on Oct 12, 2009 9:55 AM EDT reply actions

The truly amazing thing about that UGA-UT game is that bad as the final score was, it still didn’t capture just how dreadful Georgia was on offense and defense. 59-3 would have been a more appropriate score. And I think Bobo is getting way to little credit for what is becoming a clusterfuck of a season. Georgia is thin at receiver, so they constantly run three-wide sets, out of the shotgun. At no point did they try to stretch the field in the passing game, so eventually Tennessee just sat on short routes, breaking up passes or allowing no YAC. This makes four out of six games where the offense had no identity. And all that’s leaving aside the baffling decision to put Logan Gray in for one play at random each week. It’s like they’re setting up a trick play for the last game of the season. I don’t fucking get it.

by Biggus Rickus on Oct 12, 2009 10:08 AM EDT reply actions

From what I can discern, Dr Lou got his undergrad at UPig, a masters at ND and his doctorate at USChikin, a school that went almost 100 years before winning a bowl game and has won 1 conference championship (ACC, late 60s).

And Urban asks him what to do about Tebow? Why not Craig James? Dan Patrick? Gerry Faust? Hell, go the whole nine yards and hold a seance to contact Charlie Pell, since he & Lou had that great knack of getting every school they coached at on probation.

by yoyofutbawl on Oct 12, 2009 10:11 AM EDT reply actions

Dan Mullen’s offenses were pretty abysmal in Years 2 and 4 until they weren’t. With the SEC trending downwards, a murderful defense and a long stretch between now and the next solid threat, I don’t really see that much reason to worry.

by This Guy on Oct 12, 2009 10:14 AM EDT reply actions

I think we all knew LSU was gonna lose. So we went into it with really low expectations.

If they would’ve won, it would’ve been the greatest feeling since winning the BCS game in 2007.

Oh well….

by ottoman.lsu on Oct 12, 2009 10:26 AM EDT reply actions

Nothing about the fighting redacti’s glorious, triumphant, improvement?

Qouteth the rdacted one:

“There’s a lot of really good things that happened out there but we’re still kind of sputtering. A loss is a loss and that’s what you’re judged on. I still think we made progress.”

I don’t know about you, but getting outgained by 100 yards and having a 13 minute defecit in time of possesion is some pretty goddamned good football.

by ALGator on Oct 12, 2009 10:30 AM EDT reply actions

I want to take the blame for the sixty two sacks the Gators got since I was the moron who pointed out that they had not been all that effective in getting to the quarterback so far this season (but they weren’t, dammit!)

ps. We need Billy Cannon to come out of retirement and print some bills so we can hire an OC. The players made plenty of mistakes, but leaving a clearly struggling Jefferson without any change of pace (eg, Shepard) falls on the coaches. And boy, do we miss big Herm.

pps. @10 – the party committee on solidarity commands you to call that TD the result of the cheating Gators and their pass interfering ways.

by haveagreatday on Oct 12, 2009 10:30 AM EDT reply actions

Tight End Aaron Hernandez established a career high with six receptions for 70 yards.

by Mike on Oct 12, 2009 10:32 AM EDT reply actions

Just once in my life I need to make the trip to Baton Rouge to tailgate with some dude known as “Big Wee from Mandeville”. That’s going on my bucket list, along with “see the Georgia secondary cover someone. Anyone.” Sadly, I’m far more likely to share gumbo with Big Wee than to see Bryan Evans not fall for play action on 3rd and 9.

by MaconDawg on Oct 12, 2009 10:37 AM EDT reply actions

@12…..it could also have easily been 59-3 in the Bama/Ole Miss game….

by They Call me....Jevan Snead's Vagina on Oct 12, 2009 10:41 AM EDT reply actions

So is Aaron Hernandez like the Tony Moeaki of the Gators or something?

by tristan on Oct 12, 2009 10:45 AM EDT reply actions

“Meyer said he also talked with former Ohio State coach Earle Bruce and legendary coach-turned-ESPN-analyst Lou Holtz "

Of course he did. Wow, there’s a triumvirate of evil if I ever saw one. To me it basically reads:

“Satan said he also talked with former Aryan coach Adolf Hitler and legendary dictator-turned-soil-fertilizer Saddam Hussein”

by S.D. Jones on Oct 12, 2009 10:47 AM EDT reply actions

Not related but must be shared, puts new meaning into WfV…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POGaokhTz6s

by k00laid on Oct 12, 2009 10:48 AM EDT reply actions

O/S, while I would also like to see Hernandez be more involved, the actual FACTS (yes, I know you don’t like facts) say that Hernandez was more involved in that game than he’s ever been. His first career carry, and career high in receptions and yardage. Which means he got the ball more in this fairly impotent offensive performance than all of last year’s scorched-earth offensive outbursts.

The Baby Rhino after 5 games compared to last year at same time: Completions up 4%, passer rating up 18 points, 1.25 ypa more. oh, and 5-0 instead of 4-1…

No, it’s not fun to watch, but just think how you’d feel digesting all that jambalaya if we’d pulled an “Ole Miss” instead of a Big10-style win.

Oh, and we STILL covered the spread.

by bj on Oct 12, 2009 10:48 AM EDT reply actions

I like the comparison of Death Valley and Estadio Azteca. Except Death Valley just needs to be mile higher
and there needs to be a lot of smog.

by Anonymous IV on Oct 12, 2009 10:54 AM EDT reply actions

@19

Exactly WHAT were you looking for when you found that video?

And a question for Holly: How do you like Coach Stew’s new “sweater vest” look? Dashing, I think!

by An 'eer with a Beer on Oct 12, 2009 11:13 AM EDT reply actions

Came across it on the boards, your guy did it, not me.

http://www.herdfans.com/12thman/index.php?topic=35887.0

Let’s Go Herd!

by k00laid on Oct 12, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

I’m sure with the way Lou Holtz predicts games, the conversation went something like this.

Meyer: Dr. Lou, Dr. Lou? I respect your opinion. Should I play Tim Tebow against LSU tonight?

Dr. Lou: I don’t thsinks sho. You should rest shim, and usesh your backup inshtead.

Meyer: Thanks! Hangs up phone and turns to Tim Tebow Alright, you’re cleared to go tonight.

by Bob Cousy on Oct 12, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

Riley Cooper showed some better hands that Hernandez when he yanked the DB covering him out of the way for a the TD.

Also, suck my fucking cock, T. Kyle King.

by etsuVol on Oct 12, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

Could someone seriously explain why that LSU DB turned his hips around when Riley Cooper grabbed his jersey? Is that a typical move by a WR when he is going to break on a short pass? Was he expecting help from the safety until he saw the ball in the air?

by Tim James on Oct 12, 2009 11:45 AM EDT reply actions

LSU/Florida gameday highlights:
- shaking hands with Orson and hug from Holly (not in that order) outside Tiger Stadium
- jambalaya, boudin, etouffee at Brian’s tailgate near Memorial Tower
~~- getting into Tiger Stadium ticket-less at halftime (via mad dash up stairs to Upper East Side -~~ painful after day of bourbon, jambalaya, boudin and etouffee)

Lowlights: Game

by TCL on Oct 12, 2009 12:04 PM EDT reply actions

Please tell me that someone else saw that gaytastic exchange between Tebow and Meyer at the end of the game. Meyer had a very orgasmic look going as he nuzzled Tebow’s facemask. CBS played it several times and I couldn’t stop laughing. I tried finding it on Youtube, but no luck yet.

by Jason on Oct 12, 2009 12:17 PM EDT reply actions

Jason, I follow Florida and I’m a Tebow-mania apologist but that exchange by Meyer was fucking ridiculous.

Percy Harvin, on the other hand, knows the proper way to run a relationship with Urban.

by Tim James on Oct 12, 2009 12:39 PM EDT reply actions

@ 17, printing bills apparently isn’t the problem, since Gary Crowton got a FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLAR RAISE on FRIDAY. His salary comes out to roughly $2800 per yard gained by the Tigers “offense” this week, in case you were wondering.

It was an interesting psychological experiment though. I literally went through every phase of grief watching Jordan Jefferson on Saturday, on a quarter by quarter basis – shock, pleading/bargaining, anger, depression. Then, with 11 empties at my feet and zeroes on the scoreboard, acceptance.

by 4.0 Point Stance on Oct 12, 2009 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

O/S: Forcier was apparently concussed: http://www.freep.com/article/20091012/SPORTS06/91012032/1319/Rodriguez—Forcier-to-start-Saturday

Oh, but he’ll start next week. Because not all concussions are alike!

by Andy Hutchins on Oct 12, 2009 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

@#32,

Gary Danielson was so jealous of that intimate exchange, he so wishes he could’ve been Urban right at that moment.

by justanotherbuckeye on Oct 12, 2009 12:54 PM EDT reply actions

@34 – that makes me more than a little pissed off. And I NEVER thought it would come to this, but there are times when Jefferson makes me miss Jarret Lee. We averaged 31 points per game and scored at least three touchdowns in every game but Ole Miss last year with Mr. Pick-6 under center. I cannot believe that I am even having these thoughts.

by haveagreatday on Oct 12, 2009 1:03 PM EDT reply actions

Jason @32
Video evidence
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM2hCAQUOiI&feature=youtube_gdata

by Dr. Lou Holth on Oct 12, 2009 1:05 PM EDT reply actions

I think Lee deserved at least a couple of series to show what he can do. If it’s the fourth quarter, and you’ve only scored 3 points all game, what’s the worst that can happen?

The worst that can happen is that Lee throws a pick six to Brandon Spikes. So we’d have lost 17-3 instead of 13-3. I think we can all agree that this is the most likely scenario.

by 4.0 Point Stance on Oct 12, 2009 1:16 PM EDT reply actions

I was laughed at when I said I would like to see Lee in at the beginning of the year. We average 31 points when Lee was our guy.

On the other hand, unlike JJ who likes taking sack, Lee would always manage to freak out when he saw any defender about to hit him which made him throw pick sixes like they were going out of style.

by Kevin@LSU on Oct 12, 2009 1:30 PM EDT reply actions

@4, et al.: For the record, I wasn’t talking about the “tailgating,” which I agree, isn’t. Ole Miss fans don’t even call it that…they call it “Groving.” roll eyes and exaggerated air-quotes

I was talking about our ability to get shit-faced drunk off our asses in order to persevere through every season. When people ask why Ole Miss has a “drinking problem” and a “Culture of Alcohol,” we simply point to that period between August and December. It’s a quiet resignation we succumb to about mid-October. Hell, it’s worked for 40 years…why stop now? No wonder we all graduate as raging alcoholics.

by the ex-croominator on Oct 12, 2009 1:38 PM EDT reply actions

@ the ex-croominator -

And in Baton Rouge, we enroll as raging alcoholics. Well, some of us, anyway.

by DrBundy on Oct 12, 2009 2:03 PM EDT reply actions

@ 41

i’m just picking on y’all

by Kevin@LSU on Oct 12, 2009 2:03 PM EDT reply actions

Dear LSU and Ole Miss,
Y’all actually eat at a tailgate?

Mountianeers everywhere.

by SC'Eer on Oct 12, 2009 2:23 PM EDT reply actions

@SC’Eer

I think I have a pot big enough to deep-fry that couch. You should bring it down next year and we’ll find out together.

by PodKatt on Oct 12, 2009 3:16 PM EDT reply actions

Kevin, I know…it’s what us LSU and Ole Miss fans do. Hell, one of my fondest memories of Ole Miss was marching in the Halloween Homecoming Parade, which actually started at the LSU RV area…the Tiger fans lined up and tossed Mardi Gras beads and doubloons to us (I know, it’s supposed to be the opposite). Damn it we had SCHOOL SPIRIT 15 years ago. Sure we were still snobs that dressed up but we went to the fucking game and cheered. Don’t even get me started on “kids today…”

I do want to go to Baton Rouge someday for the tailgate. I always wanted to know what it would feel like to be in a war zone. ;-)

by the ex-croominator on Oct 12, 2009 3:44 PM EDT reply actions

@ PodKatt
I’d be honored. Sept 25th is it?
SC’Eer

by SC'Eer on Oct 12, 2009 4:44 PM EDT reply actions

@ SC’Eer

Like we’d miss the first leg of the International Trappers and Taxidermists Convention. We’ve got half a season to go, but we are already working on the menu for that one.

by PodKatt on Oct 12, 2009 11:07 PM EDT reply actions