EN ROUTE: FLORIDA AT LSU

Photo documenting, I hope. Please. Vicarious thrills while I toil in Avondale replacing my goddam flooded floor.

We’ll be waiting for you….

@Kevin – is that a threat or invite? Or both?

Godspeed, Orson. Don’t forget to pack the spare liver.

It’s cool that reading the text the video and song were synched perfectly. As I read the last line the video finished playing. I’d like to experience that atmosphere. As a Tech fan I doubt it will ever happen though.

Both…but it would be pretty cool to meet the man responsible for my lack of productivity at work, in person.

Bring it son. This year we scare your boy Ufford while you stand by and laugh.

Just bought the gator meat at Tony’s Seafood. It is so damned hard not to blow a fortune in that place.

For games this big we prefer ordinance to ammunition.

Why settle for a hole when you can just as easily have a crater?

And thanks for all the pretty words in your interview at the greatest Tigah blog ever, lsutigerbait.blogspot.com

Orson, in the words of Lawrence from Office Space:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVkEk-ci8xk#t=1m13s

Orson Swindle vs. Shreveport, LA:

Score:
OS- 253
Shreveport- 0

EDSBS: where it isn’t Friday until someone Shreveport gets a donkey punch.

Nice shout-out from Scott Van Pelt, BTW.

Van Pelt just quoted Mr. Swindle re: game day atmosphere @ LSU on ESPN and ESPN Radio.

He also said this is his favorite CFB blog. It’s really cool to hear someone with that big of a platform giving props to EDSBS.

Another EDSBS-er proud to hear the shout-out from Scott Van Pelt! Huzzahs abound!

Ah, the game of the year, until LSU plays again against he Who Must Not Be Named… Reminds me of when John Vaught used to bring the sophomores in (back when freshmen could not play varsity) and pull out the large syringe of tiger urine.

Would recommend ear plugs, as those unfamiliar with the Four Corner salute usually have the symptoms of tinnitis for weeks afterwards. Tiger fans are already used to it – that’s why we have to talk so loud anyway!

Enjoy – and greetings from Kurdistan!

That last sentence was poetry. And I will steal it.

I’m an SEC wonk, stadium buff, and a total sucker for pageantry.

And I’ve never been to Death Valley. My life is somewhat incomplete.

Go Dawgs, but I can say with no small amount of certainty that 99% of humanity are Fightin’ Tigers tomorrow night.

The tears, they flow.

Go forth, good sir.

And, you know, don’t get killed.

Why on earth would anyone kill Swindle? What would we read Monday-Friday? MESSAGE BOARDS??? Surely ye jest.

I’ve seen the LSU pregame at least half a dozen times as a fan of the visiting team. Good God, the noise and the fear..

did Orson get there early:

“Police in Louisiana are searching for a naked burglar. They say the suspect cooked himself a meal and took two showers before finally leaving. Surveillance cameras at the home caught the whole thing on tape. They say at one point the man did cover himself with a trash bag while lounging on the back porch. Police say it doesn’t appear anything was taken from the home. They think the suspect was either drunk or high on drugs” . . . or a typical LSU fan.

http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/offbeat/search_for_naked_burglar_100809

dirt sandwich @ 18 – only if Orson’s there undetected, that story broke earlier in the week. (It wasn’t me either).

I have been to Death Valley once (October 22, 2005 Auburn-LSU game) and I know what Lot experienced as he and his family escaped with their lives from Sodom and Gomorra as the Lord razed it with fire and brimstone. And just like Lot I did not turn around to gaze upon the destruction or be turned into some kind of deep fried food as I ventured down Nicholson St. by myself on the phone with my friend trying to find out where the hell he was so I could escape that nightmare.

If you don’t come back alive Orson, can I have your stuff?

The noise alone will mess with Tebow’s egg-salad brain, whether he takes a snap or not. He will be writhing on the ground, hands over his earholes, begging the Filipino god of foreskin to make it stop.

The Lord has shown us mercy and we are still here.
Looks like Philip needs to stop being a pussy.

Good luck Orson. Watch out for vampires. Don’t want you to have to update EDSBS chained in the basement of an LSU fan draining you for blood on a regular basis. Though if you do end up in that situation, check a fellow prisoner’s hip for some metal. Helps break the chains.

Pssh, being followed down a street by a crowd of drunk, opposing fans, throwing shit at me, in a town I never spent more than half an hour in before and SOBER, sorry I didn’t buck up and face off with them like you would have brave-man-internet-poster. Don’t think I would have made it down that street in one piece if John Vaughn would have made 2 of those 5 field goals he missed…

Damn, Philip you must be a major asshole if we were chasing you down the street.
What did you do, piss in the gumbo pot?

Some might consider this description and accompanying YouTube over the top. These people do not share
the passion required to be true college football fans. Godspeed, Orson, and, if Florida pulls out a win
tomorrow, may God have mercy on your soul as you try to get to your car.

Scott Van Pelt watches ATHF, which is on Adult Swim for you non-atlanta peoples. Which also deserves props.

@ #6

….my pre-game meal was a little cheaper.

http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn53/zrdan/003.jpg

Saturday Night…as the rain ceases and the last golden rays of the sun set upon the last great coliseum, Death Valley-Tiger Stadium, there is hush and the crowd goes silent. From the depth of the visitor’s locker room, the man child, the baby rhino, Tebow explodes from the gate and head-butts Mike the Tiger’s cage. Initially in awe, the Gator fans erupt in euphoria as Tebow remains upright and does it again. Then the crowd goes silent as the final blow dislodges the lock on the cage. In an instant, Mike is messily masticating on the baby rhino. At this exact moment, a seismograph records a 9.8 in American Samoa sending a tidal wave over Los Angeles and USC. Verne Lundquiste then announces to the masses that this is the glory and pagentry of SEC football. Without missing a beat Danielson launches into an oratory on how this affects the flow of the game. Welcome to to Death Valley, again.

Bring. Kevlar.

Will College Gameday smash the Farve/Sportsnation record with Tebows tomorrow?

@ 26

Damn.

Damnit, that was smooth rick roll type shit right there.

“There are so many things to pack: raingear, the tropical medicine kit, satellite phone, rescue beacons, butter-scented cologne, and the stacks of cash to purchase the weapons we will need and the baksheesh we will have to pay to get through the numerous layers of bribery surrounding even the simplest of actions in Lousiana.”

Audi TT’s are delivered with all of this as standard equipment.

Yeah, that paragraph just about sums it up. Not just the night games at LSU, but rivalry games everywhere.
I love college football more than I love women…there I said it. Man I’m so glad I did that, it was such a relief.
Like coming out of the closet, but your guy friends don’t stop hanging out with you, they like you more.
Now just to find a chick that got moist reading your depiction of TIger stadium and I’m all set.

@The Stos

Fag. I love my Tigers. I love split-tail infinitely more. Git yer priorities straight, Madeline.

Cosmic weirdness, defined: I watched that same video not two days before, but never did I associate it with a trip to Baton Rouge. Such is the genius of Orson.

That said, as Baton Rouge is America’s Mogadishu (minus the moral restraint,) a Black Hawk Down montage seems equally appropriate.

Let the rage begin….RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn, Kevin.
11 hours until game time. I’d say pace yourself, but you Tiger fans have probably been up all night. Enjoy the day/night/game.

An observation…

“KingSalami” board name, the use of “split tail” in a sentence.
We must be dealing with a true cocksmith here.

A people seriously get jacked over a World Series or Super Bowl when there is a event like #1 & #4 playing in Red Stick on a Saturday night? Pales in comparison to this epic sh!t.