THE TIM TEBOW CONCUSSION WATCH, ITERATION 2

by Holly Anderson on Oct 7, 2009 2:18 PM EDT

concussionwatch_2

THREAT CONDITION: McConaughey.
Subject is displaying average intelligence, ability to watch television and read simply written articles in sunlight, is experiencing no headaches, and is walking around everywhere with this shirt off.

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But is he playing bongos and smokin the mary jane? Nekkid?

by Crabapple Buck on Oct 7, 2009 2:25 PM EDT reply actions

Good to see that Busey remains the gold standard for braindeadedness.

by TJ on Oct 7, 2009 2:26 PM EDT reply actions

Has anyone stopped to consider the implications of a tebow sized qb running the offense with the mentality of gary busey? am i the only one who thinks the comedic hilarity and pants shitting scariness would be the perfect combination for an event of this magnitude?

by Jmuthaf'nT on Oct 7, 2009 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

Mittens playing a piano is just above Phil Steele? I have to pay for Phils picks, who does mittens like for this saturday. I have only been average with my betting this year.

by tzubear on Oct 7, 2009 2:28 PM EDT reply actions

uh… keyboard cat is dead. Bill O’reilly told me so, then proclaimed him a fine American.

by wfguiteau on Oct 7, 2009 2:29 PM EDT reply actions

If keyboard cat is the next level on the concussion watch, I’d argue that Tebow is a definite starter this Saturday. Keyboard cat is a level of consciousness that very few ever attain.

by beerbaron on Oct 7, 2009 2:32 PM EDT reply actions

Personally, after seeing the graphic, I found myself wishing he were at threatcon: Roomba.

by I'm A Lasagna Hog on Oct 7, 2009 2:35 PM EDT reply actions

How can you change the scale like that week to week? This dereliction of scientific rigor is appalling.

by Tim James on Oct 7, 2009 2:43 PM EDT reply actions

Who’s between Busey and Zook? Is it R. Kelly?

by Middle America on Oct 7, 2009 2:47 PM EDT reply actions

So Tebow’s feeling all right, all right, all right?

by Biff Hooper on Oct 7, 2009 3:15 PM EDT reply actions

I’m just glad that he has progressed from the Emmitt Smith strata of brain inactivity.

by jacketexan on Oct 7, 2009 3:22 PM EDT reply actions

As legal counsel for Mr Orange K. Cat, I was instructed per him to inform EDSBS, inc. that continued use of his picture in conjunction with [NAME REDACTED] in any comparative manner is grounds for legal redress and monetary settlement.

by yoyofutbawl on Oct 7, 2009 3:56 PM EDT reply actions

Ron Zook my ass.

by Roomba I. Robot on Oct 7, 2009 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

@3: I believe you may be interested in our “Jared Lorenzen” line, sir.

by Fightin' Englishman on Oct 7, 2009 4:14 PM EDT reply actions

It is my understanding that all EDSBS settlements are paid in condoms and axe hair gel.

by beerbaron on Oct 7, 2009 4:25 PM EDT reply actions

Recently heard at my house: Lets get high and watch Roomba chase the dog.

Good times.

by plastic paddy on Oct 7, 2009 4:33 PM EDT reply actions

did everyone catch this?

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=221524&title=gary-busey

by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 7, 2009 5:06 PM EDT reply actions

any objections to me printing this on a shirt for saturday… legal, tasteful, or otherwise?

by MikeVI on Oct 7, 2009 5:09 PM EDT reply actions

…more decent humor from Busey

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=221523&title=gary-busey-long-deserved-tribute

by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 7, 2009 5:09 PM EDT reply actions

Mr Cat will accept these as compensation plus any apparently dead moles, which includes Bobby Bowden, Ty Willingham and Jonathan Crompton.

by yoyofutbawl on Oct 7, 2009 5:18 PM EDT reply actions

Not optimistic if Tebow is out cruising Bucholz High School in his Chevelle and hosting a beer bust out by the light tower.

by Gone Gator on Oct 7, 2009 5:26 PM EDT reply actions

No worries, #20. Tebow drives an old beat up pick-up truck.

by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 7, 2009 5:31 PM EDT reply actions

…and if you google “Tebow drives” you’ve find THIS!! WOO HOO!!!

http://gators.fandome.com/video/108488/Tim-Tebow-Drives-Girl-To-The-Pole/

by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 7, 2009 5:35 PM EDT reply actions

Phil Steele looks a lot like John S. Ragin, the actor who played Dr. Robert Asten, the eternally exasperated boss on Quincy M.E. Are we sure they’re not the same person?

by Burrill on Oct 7, 2009 6:11 PM EDT reply actions

The device remains a legitimate example of comedy genius. @8 is correct though. If you change the scale you remove the scientific value. I’m guessing without science… Tebow plays Saturday.

by Not the Mama on Oct 7, 2009 7:30 PM EDT reply actions

The only way Tebow can be safe, is to wear this complete helmet and ensemble:
http://www.bangitout.com/photos/viewphoto.php?category=13&photoid=3952&title=Dark%20Helmet%20Costume!%20&cattitle=Purim

by Mr. Pelican Pants on Oct 7, 2009 8:35 PM EDT reply actions

what units is this scale in?

by RAW on Oct 7, 2009 9:00 PM EDT reply actions

“Subject is displaying average intelligence, ability to watch television and read simply written articles in sunlight, is experiencing no headaches, and is walking around everywhere with this shirt off.”

When you quote directly from the USC psychology department’s observational notes re: subject Carroll, P, please use proper citations.

by Jack Fact on Oct 7, 2009 9:10 PM EDT reply actions

Dang. The scary thing is, I am wondering where John Chavis fits on this scale. Is there a layer above (or below, depending upon your perspective) Busey? Or does that go on another scale, like the crazy scale, where entry level is the mixed uppedness of the love child of Ann Coulter and Al Franken?

by Southern Papa on Oct 8, 2009 2:51 AM EDT reply actions

I’m pretty sure that the scale increases logrithmically, if I remember right. In other words, each level is ten times crazier than the last. I would also like to pint out that Timmy loves those high school girls, he keeps gettin older, they stay the saaaame age.

by Ethan on Oct 8, 2009 6:50 AM EDT reply actions

Anyone got a picture of Tebow in pink jean shorts? We’d know for certain he’s at the Wooderon level for sure then.

by Irwin Fletcher on Oct 8, 2009 7:31 AM EDT reply actions

@27

The SI unit for craziness has long since been established as the Nutt (plural: Nuttz), named after the discoverer of the fluctuations between lucid and crazy, Houston Nutt.

One Nutt is defined as the amount of crazy relased when one (1) weasel is confined to one(1) sack. The Weasel-Sack Scale follows the SI system of scientific notation for increasing orders of magnitude.

The Weasel-Sack Scale serves as the normalization for all other levels of lucid and crazy, and the rapid fluctuations between. For example, on an average game day, Mike Leach registers 3 Kilo-Nuttz. By contrast, Chris Fowler can be classified on the order of Micro-Nuttz.

The highest recorded measurement on the Weasel-Sack Scale was recorded on October 20, 2007 when Les Miles reached 778Mega-Nuttz by throwing for the endzone, while down by one point to Auburn, but well within field goal range.

by CincySooner on Oct 8, 2009 9:58 AM EDT reply actions