CURIOUS INDEX, 10/7/09
by Orson on Oct 7, 2009 10:08 AM EDT
Email
Print |
||
|
It's all about the Spongebob. Somehow this is leading to a BangBros video with some poor Spongebob toy used in an unspeakable manner, but for the moment the Miami Hurricanes have claimed the square-pantsed bon vivant of Bikini Bottom as their own. Do they know about his shadowy, possibly homosexual relationship with Patrick, though? If not, the customary greeting of "I BET YOU'RE A HOMOSEXUAL" offered to all other fans from Miami fans could smoke him out if he's not careful. (HT: The Seventh Floor. Wild-Gator seems a bit redundant. As there's no such thing as a tame alligator, perhaps we'll just call it something like the Midgetwing if Brandon James is in it, or the Vanilla Pillah Killah if white-girl-lovin' Chris Rainey takes the snaps, or the Humbler Fumbler if Emmanuel Moody takes snaps. Terminology aside, one likely snap-eater against LSU will likely be some variation of the Wildcat, a term which Jon Gruden expertly defines as "Hey look it's the wildcat wow it's the wildcat that's the formation where you lineup and call it the wildcat wow." Tebow did practice yesterday, as noted in the post below where he has a giant orange foam helmet. Sack-less. Yeah brah that's what we called you! SACKLESS. Because LSU has zero sacks since their game against Vanderbilt. They did almost pin Joe Cox in the endzone for a safety, but then Cox spun, ninja-kicked Rahim Alem into the bench, and then masked his superhuman powers by channeling Erik Ainge and throwing a hopeless jump ball out of the endzone. Why was this not called a safety? NINJA MIND CONTROL, that's why. Bear Woods, aka Camera Spray. ESPN had what would even be considered an inordinate level of loving camera shots of Troy linebacker Bear Woods, who is a.) a redhead with dreads, b.) is named "Bear Woods, and c.) according to that video, wants to be in the NFL and a preacher much like Reggie White, meaning Bear Woods will be censured by a state legislature in 15 years for talking about the gays, and why Asians are so good at the maths. Troy clobbered MTSU 31-7, btw, a score translating into a 40 point victory over Maryland or [insert ACC team here]. Added without description. Who would argue that these men are not indeed jewels shining among us?
|
||
 |
||
21 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
"All I know is he’s Tim Tebow. My money’s on him." The truth comes out from running backs coach Kenny Carter!
Best quote: Carter said the staff worked with wild cat-like packages before Tebow’s injury. Those wild, cat-like plays.
by Tim James on Oct 7, 2009 10:15 AM EDT reply actions
Of course I want LSU to win Saturday, but a part of me wants it to be a 3-2 game, just to fuck with everybody.
by Kevin@LSU on Oct 7, 2009 10:17 AM EDT reply actions
Where’s the video of LSU fans humiliating the family pets for fun (& the team); it’s mustache Wednesday- aren’t y’all starting up the tailgate?
by TampaGatorGal on Oct 7, 2009 10:34 AM EDT reply actions
I haven’t been by campus yet but I imagine people are starting to place their tent on the outskirts of campus to reserve their spot.
by Kevin@LSU on Oct 7, 2009 10:39 AM EDT reply actions
Maybe LSU winning 3-2, on a last-second field goal aided by a questionable “excessive” celebration call on Florida after scoring the safety after a questionable intentional grounding call on LSU in its own end zone after 57 minutes of scoreless football including Les Miles going 0 for 5 on fourth down attempts. Oh, and having the network accidentally cut away during the game to an unrelated boring show at what appears to be some potentially dramatic moment … Oh and some really, really bad announcers that everyone hates calling the game using awful non-sequitur phrases …
by Wozzo the Wonder Dog on Oct 7, 2009 10:42 AM EDT reply actions
The last article reminds me of a joke I heard once:
“Barry Switzer and John Daly walk into an Indian casino…”
by Billy Sims 'Fro on Oct 7, 2009 11:04 AM EDT reply actions
I’m not sure the Gators should be talking about sacks right now since they haven’t exactly been tearing up the backfield themselves. Plus, with Tebow’s current noggin woes, they better bring some serious gris gris to keep OS’s va fongool to the football gods from striking them down.
by haveagreatday on Oct 7, 2009 11:12 AM EDT reply actions
I wouldn’t worry about Tebow’s noggin. We’re facing John Chavis.
by UFmegood on Oct 7, 2009 11:25 AM EDT reply actions
Looking at Barry & JD reminds me of what we used to say growing up in Mississippi – “Thank God For Arkansas Or We’d Suck Hind Tit In Everything.”
by yoyofutbawl on Oct 7, 2009 11:28 AM EDT reply actions
The guy interviewing Bear Woods went to college with me – the world has now come full circle, in Troy, AL.
by SH on Oct 7, 2009 11:33 AM EDT reply actions
Did Randy Shannon just say that his team is going to be spending their time pulling bong loads?
by blazin on Oct 7, 2009 11:44 AM EDT reply actions
@8
They don’t call it “third down and Chavis” for nothing…the longer the yardage needed, the better the chances for the offense…
by chuy on Oct 7, 2009 12:34 PM EDT reply actions
as i sit here in my house with the other 29 members of my mexican family, watching black people dance at church on my watch that is also a tv (thanks, asians!), i can’t help but think that there’s perhaps never been a more astute observer of the human species than reggie white.
rest in peace, reggie, and keep hittin’ hard for the glory of god!
by ed on Oct 7, 2009 12:48 PM EDT reply actions
soda ALL OVER anything, thanks to “Vanilla Pillah Killah”
by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 7, 2009 1:15 PM EDT reply actions
…of course I meant everything, but was too busy grasping my side, which hurts from laughing, to actually proof-read before I clicked “Submit Comment”
by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 7, 2009 1:17 PM EDT reply actions
Bear (Jonathan Woods) went to Baker County High School in MacClenny, FL; and was a student of my nephew (who teaches there) for 2 years. According to my nephew, he was a straight A and model student. He work ethic, in both athletics and academics was second to none.
From the Troy website:
Was a three-year letter winner for coach Carl West at Baker County HS … Played a variety of positions in addition to quarterback during his prep career, including safety, linebacker, corner and kick returner … Helped team to a 23-9 record over three years … As a senior, rushed for 430 yards while throwing for 800 yards and 11 touchdowns … Recorded 108 tackles as a senior including six sacks and nine tackles for loss from his safety spot … Also recorded six interceptions … As a junior he rushed for 215 yards on just 21 attempts, completed 18-of27 passes for 375 yards and five touchdowns while recording 102 tackles on defense … Was named team MVP, Best Offensive Player, Most Versatile Player, Best Defensive Back and was a five-time player of the week award winner … Was an honorable mention All-State pick as a senior … Was also a four-year letter winner in basketball where he helped his team to back-to-back district titles …
by Mich-Placed Gator on Oct 7, 2009 1:31 PM EDT reply actions
It wasn’t a safety because there was a receiver that basically touched the ball it was so close to him. It can’t intentional grounding if there is a viable receiver in the general vicinity of the pass, and Cox almost completed that throw to what I think was a fullback running to the edge of the field. Granted, I doubt he knew the fellow was there, but regardless, there was a receiver there who could legally catch the pass.
No safety dance for LSU.
by Will on Oct 7, 2009 5:48 PM EDT reply actions
Not that I’m the type to stick up for the Ginger Ninja or anything, but there was an eligible receiver (running back) about a yard under the ball as it flew out of bounds, making that goofy throw-away legal and not a safety. Gary Danielson was too damn stupid to notice, but that’s not Cox’s fault…
by Will Collier on Oct 8, 2009 7:23 AM EDT reply actions
My google image search for “bear woods troy” brought up something that I don’t care to see at work or ever really for that matter. I guess that’s my punishment for taking “safe search” off after doing additional research on friday bunda chicks in the past
by nixforsix on Oct 8, 2009 2:53 PM EDT reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
