EDSBSGPS: WHERE WE AT, WEEK 5

Fucking Epcot. My alcohol level will be the same as every Saturday, but no college football.

Driving to KC (since nowhere in this state carries the SEC Network), then, with plenty of ribs and cheap domestic beer, me and the girlie will be viewing:

Bama-Kentucky in the grizzled bastard showdown
Kitties and Puppies in Athens
The Failocalypse in Knoxville

For purely pecuniary reasons, I will keep also eye on the UW-ND and USC-Cal games.

In Athens for LSU @ UGA. I hope it goes to 15 overtimes.

What bar should I go to for watching the other games?

Fundamentals of Emergency Communications from dawn until lunch – laugh if you like, but if the zombies come and you’re not at UF, you’ll wish you had your 440 HT.

Then, for the first time despite five years of season tickets, USC @ Cal.

Other games to be monitored as permitted by the performance of AT&T’s shit-tastic 3G network in the greater Yay Area.

In Berkeley, at Memorial Stadium, hoping that the Bears can vanquish the demons haunting my thoughts after the Autzen debacle. It isn’t November yet, right? We have a chance…

I’ll be drinking Ron Zacapa 23 yr before the game, but must remain lucid…

Tonight – Kragthorpe hosts Wannstache in a “Who Will Get Fired First” battle.

Saturday
USF @ Syracuse
Cincinnati @ Miami University
Alabama @ BULLSHIT
LSU @ ARP ARP
Washington @ 360º Butt

Movies after that. It’s been forever since a watchable movie hit theaters, and now they’re all coming out at once. And yes this includes the Toy Story 3D double feature. Oh yes, I will be watching that. I don’t care if you think any less of me.

In Birmingham.
 Brakes on car broke today.
  Not going much of anywhere.

I’ll be in Athens doing one of two things: a) screaming and running down Sanford Drive wearing naught but a Georgia flag carefully wrapped about my nether regions, or b) barricading myself into the top floor of the new student center annex with a handgun, telling the cops I’m not afraid to die because God doesn’t love me.

…in Lansing with the filthy rich girlfriend and her family getting my Sparty on, then jumping in a party bus with 19 other drunks and heading to Comerica Park to hopefully watch the Tigers clinch the AL Central while watching whatever game I can get on the iPhone.

…perfect week for the Florida bye.

What I would give to go to a real live college football game. Since moving to SoCal, I’ve only been to make it back to Gainesville once in 20+ years. I tried going to a UCLA game once, and my girlfriend and I were told, and I quote “to sit down and stop making so much noise”. And we were rooting for UCLA-Against Miami.

Gotta watch Pittsburgh fail miserably at life. Tomorrow, can’t wait to see the “experts” make excuses for the pantsing “Da U” will receive from a RS Frosh backup QB.

I’m at Iowa’s field of dreams with a pretty good chance for damp conditions in fifty degrees: football weather.
  
The Hawkeyes have sandwiched Ark State between the giddy delight of last weekend’s PSU game and the anticipated for over a year homecoming gave v. Michigan.

Hopefully this game doesn’t bring back memories of UNI.

What’s up with “The Ville” on the Louisville jerseys? Also, good throw from Adam Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago.

In Athens praying that the Bayou Bengals are as inept as the LSU faithful keep assuring me they are. And standing on Sanford Drive waiting for a half-naked bearded dude to run by. What?

Maryland v. Clemson on the sideline pertaining to managerial duties and trying not to laugh when daquan bowers and ricky sapp combine for 10 sacks against us

Watching every game from noon on, after a round of golf. The 7:00 BTN showcase of tOSU @ Indiana, which the Buckeyes will still have home field-like advantage, will hold a majority of my attention.

Home in Dallas lamenting the Bevo bye week. Hoping for a meteor to strike Jerry world taking out the farmers and piggies and staring at the pic of Holly’s BEWWBBBSSSS during the commercials.

Driving to Charleston early Saturday a.m. in order to catch UGA – LSU (Uncle Verne? Uncle Verne? Is that you, Uncle Verne?) on the beach before a client dinner on Saturday night and an all day meeting on Sunday. Looking forward to the spectacle of 22 supreme athletes running aimlessly in very, very fast random patterns across a green rectangle. There will be pick sixes and 99 yard kickoff returns, backwards flips over goalposts, and very little tackling trickery. It will be magnificent, and not in an UT-AU way.

In Athens at the swamp ass of dawn to prepare myself for what will apparently be bloggers gone wild or bloggers gone two steps past throwing the proverbial toaster out the window

In Athens, at a fucking wedding!!! BULLSHIT!!! Will be drinking copious quantities of 40 Creek from an oversized flask and listening to the game via headphones. I’ll swing by Sanford Drive later to meet MaconDawg and watch naked bearded men run by.

okay, mr love slave….we all do it, but we don’t say it out loud

i will be at home admiring Herbie’s wavy locks and Corso’s ability to stay on screen after what appears to be a slightly debilitating stroke. I will be heavily drinking the Malzhan Kool-Aid I have prepared (think purple drank) and awaiting the crushing of another orange soul. I will be practising my Needham Hex, and reciting my pre-game poem:

Our father, whose name was Shug
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom is 100 yds long
Thy will is for us to run
At least three yards and with much dust
Give us this day our first downs
And forgive us our fumbles
As we forgive the other team for their sacks
And lead us not into the temptation to become like ’Bama fans
But deliver us from evil interceptions
For the running game is good,
And Bo brought us power and glory
Ever to conquer never to yield
War Eagle

In Starkvegas, ringing my cowbell hoping to beat the BEEEES

@8:

I like your style, sir, swing by Milledge in the good outcome, not so much in the bad.

#13

I thought the damn exact same thing…+100 cocktails for the nice Bueller referencet

There ain’t that many Fromans running around. His jersey should read A.Froman, and his highlights should have “Because I Got High” in the background….

Finishing off the laying down of my new floor while letting myself be fully distracted by whatever football crosses my wandering fingers.

watching McElroy’s continued heisman campaign then guess i’ll get stuck with a little UGA/LSWHO (4th? umm, ok) and onto cheering for the meteor, i mean AU i guess. all in all, a pretty cromulent saturday.

At the dreaded Lindburgh Taco Mac splitting time between watching Auburn assault on something godawful Orange and
a hopefull repeat of last years BEEEEES trouncing of the cowbell ringers.

I’ll be in Sanford Stadium for the first time this season.

Trying to get from Bham to our friend’s Lake House in Guntersville in time for the UA-KY matinee, then siezing the remote and commandeering the television till I pass out in the wee hours..

“Boating over to the Blue Parrot? Nah, y’all go ahead-bring me back something..”

The real question: What will I be wearing? Ill never tell….

Side note: Is Louisville really wearing jerseys that say “The Ville” on them? Cuz that is stupid.

Orson, welcome to Hendersonville. Feel free to stop by and watch football with me prior to going to the Vandy – Ole Miss game. There are several Florida fans in town and Steve Spurrier has family here!

Just checked the tides/weather. Headed offshore at 0DarkThirty for some fishing, hopefully home in time for the 3:30 buffet of games. Will probably wear out the remote, the grill my liver and most of my lower joints.

I will be at the Cal-USC game, to watch the Bears finally beat the Dread Lord Carroll.

Failing that, I will go blind drinking white lightnin’ at the ol’ fraternity house, surrounded by a bunch of snot-nosed kids.

Fairbanks, Alaska, watching VT v. Duke on a shaky Internet feed before dawn as a gentle snow falls.

I’ll be in the Tennessee section cheering on my Auburn Tigers and hopefully watching our defense skin a catfish! WDE!

Alaska Hokie is my hero.

The loose, because I’m not driving to KY to see Bama beat a team that will need KY.

@6: Movies? Zombieland is awesome. I had high expectations based on the trailer and the actual movie was even better.

@10: If you wanted to see a real college game what were you doing going to see UCLA?

I’m saving up my TV time this weekend for USC vs Cal.

In Chicago’s north suburbs, feasting on chicken wings, Bama-UK, hummus, LSU-UGA, and many, many domestic lites.

The only question is do I want to switch to whiskey as I watch the old-school SWC beatdown the Hogs administer to the Ags. You know… beer before liquor.

1. -

We don’t do horror/slasher movies. And as it turns out, we don’t do any movies tomorrow because the times don’t line up with our existing schedule. So you can now add Chizik @ Catfish and OU @ Da U to my agenda. Along with more furniture assembly. Orson was right, you do end up with a shitload of allen wrenches when you shop at IKEA.

Thanks, Fourth. You rock, too.

Athens Ga for UGA v Ellis Shoe. Bourbon, corndogs, rinse, repeat

In Starkvegas, MS, watching the Dan Mullen experiment continue to mature from the “Hey, this guy might work out” stage to the “Holy fuck, how are we going to keep this guy here” stage.

And the tailgating will be so glorious that I might even be able to tolerate a litte Pam Ward play by play on television, as long as I have a brew in my hand (in red solo cup, of course), a plate full of chicken wings, and plenty of coeds hanging around.

Morning, turtledoves. Open thread’s up.

I’ll be in the ATL once again nervously fidgeting my way through Florida’s bye week. Beverages will include Pacifico, Beam and Coke and Miller Lite tall cans when the night games kick off. Schedule should something along the lines of:

Noon Bama-Kentucky
3:30 LSU-Georgia and Washington-Notre Dame
Night Auburn-Tennessee and Oklahoma-Miami