MINNESOTA'S KEVIN WHALEY FINISHED THE DRILL
by Orson on Oct 1, 2009 2:18 PM EDT
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Come take the stick from me, *&^@#*&^@#*&^@#*&^@#
Minnesota linebacker "Hacksaw" Gary Tinsley, you earn the award for "Finishing the Drill, Resisting Arrest Exercise" for the week at the least for your outstanding performance after Saturday's game with Northwestern. Is Tim Brewster recruiting speed? Hell yes he is:
Scouts take notice: Tinsley ran from the scene "extremely fast" when a uniformed University police officer arrived.
BIG TEN SPEED BABY. Clearly a different caliber of athlete has arrived in the Twin Cities to lead the Gophers to the promised land if even the police note your street speed. Put that in cleats, and it's tipsy lightning ready to roll. Tinsley was cited for underage drinking, however, even if the police report did provide a glowing review of his afterburning capability. The same report includes details from the arrest of RB Kevin Whaley, who punched a bouncer in November and struggled with police afterwards in a violent fight spilling over into gridlocked traffic and featuring many censored quote balloons appearing in real time above Whaley's head.
Whaley at one point hit an officer in the top of the head with his elbow, stating *&^@#*&^@#*&^@#*&^@# you bit*^. He repeated those words multiple times.
We want audio, since we're wondering what 20 letter profanity is sitting there. "Bastardassholefucker," perhaps? That's our favorite, but profanity is a very personal choice.
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Off field incidents just don’t seem to have the same cache during the season. Always good to see a hockey playing Gopher though.
by zzgator on Oct 1, 2009 3:02 PM EDT reply actions
You know, it’s kind of a shame that incidents occurring during the season receive no honors. I guess you’re not hard up enough for material during the season to monitor thuggery.
by Vol on Oct 1, 2009 3:03 PM EDT reply actions
Whaley (allegedly) did that last November. Darren Wolfson’s just maintaining the proud Minneapolis journalism tradition of showing up to the party 6 months late.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 1, 2009 3:05 PM EDT reply actions
I’m guessing the 20-letter offensive word was “goldengopherfootball.”
by Ray on Oct 1, 2009 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
There’s stuff to do besides heavy drinking in Minnesota. I think.
by Chef Troll on Oct 1, 2009 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
Chef Troll,
Generally yes, but when the temp dives 20 30 degree’s below zero, the options tend to become staying home and drinking or going out and drinking… or hockey.
by Thor on Oct 1, 2009 3:21 PM EDT reply actions
Let’s have a look. (/dons bifocals)
“&^@#&^#*&^#&^@# you bit^”
Some simple cryptological analysis reveals the above formula. The asterisk equates to the letter c, while the carrot is likely an h. What that leaves is with is
“C&h@#C&h@#C&h@#C&h@# you bitch!”
According to the minutes of ancient and HIGHLY SECRETIVE meetings of the Knights Vas Deferens, the ampersand symbolizes the letterstring “unt”, while @ and # , of course, represent “a” and “t” respectively. Thus, we have our answer!
“CunthatCunthatCunthatCunthat you bitch!”
Great Scot! To the letterbuttonmachine!
/makes millions
by Dan Brown on Oct 1, 2009 3:39 PM EDT reply actions
Minnesota not-so-nice. At least they’ve shown some concern about appearance by picking up points during the football season and not during Fulmer Cup season.
by Sean F on Oct 1, 2009 3:49 PM EDT reply actions
assraperpolanskidick
Orson must love what this is doing for his metatags.
by DevilGrad on Oct 1, 2009 6:44 PM EDT reply actions
Minnesota + police =
http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/4/Knives-Vs-Cops-699908.html
by goblue on Oct 1, 2009 9:37 PM EDT reply actions
Finally, some signs that Big Ten football is moving in the right direction.
by Craig on Oct 1, 2009 9:51 PM EDT reply actions
Clearly the Big-10 is now faster than the SEC. Whe you have linebackers dusting cops like this, compared to corner’s in the SEC getting caught by the gainesville police.
Florida needs a speed upgrade.
by MJRuffalo1 on Oct 1, 2009 10:51 PM EDT reply actions
Cops around here all are former SEC safeties… mostly of the Berry-mold, but angrier.
by cantcatchuf on Oct 1, 2009 11:46 PM EDT reply actions
how many letters in “mother fucker hit my penis” ??
by everloyal on Oct 2, 2009 5:04 PM EDT reply actions
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