MINNESOTA’S KEVIN WHALEY FINISHED THE DRILL

Come take the stick from me, *&^@#*&^@#*&^@#*&^@#
Minnesota linebacker “Hacksaw” Gary Tinsley, you earn the award for “Finishing the Drill, Resisting Arrest Exercise” for the week at the least for your outstanding performance after Saturday’s game with Northwestern. Is Tim Brewster recruiting speed? Hell yes he is:
Scouts take notice: Tinsley ran from the scene “extremely fast” when a uniformed University police officer arrived.
BIG TEN SPEED BABY. Clearly a different caliber of athlete has arrived in the Twin Cities to lead the Gophers to the promised land if even the police note your street speed. Put that in cleats, and it’s tipsy lightning ready to roll. Tinsley was cited for underage drinking, however, even if the police report did provide a glowing review of his afterburning capability. The same report includes details from the arrest of RB Kevin Whaley, who punched a bouncer in November and struggled with police afterwards in a violent fight spilling over into gridlocked traffic and featuring many censored quote balloons appearing in real time above Whaley’s head.
Whaley at one point hit an officer in the top of the head with his elbow, stating *&^@#*&^@#*&^@#*&^@# you bit*^. He repeated those words multiple times.
We want audio, since we’re wondering what 20 letter profanity is sitting there. “Bastardassholefucker,” perhaps? That’s our favorite, but profanity is a very personal choice.









1
zzgator says:
Off field incidents just don’t seem to have the same cache during the season. Always good to see a hockey playing Gopher though.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:02 pm
2
Vol says:
You know, it’s kind of a shame that incidents occurring during the season receive no honors. I guess you’re not hard up enough for material during the season to monitor thuggery.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:03 pm
3
WhiteSpeedReceiver says:
Whaley (allegedly) did that last November. Darren Wolfson’s just maintaining the proud Minneapolis journalism tradition of showing up to the party 6 months late.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:05 pm
4
Ray says:
I’m guessing the 20-letter offensive word was “goldengopherfootball.”
October 1st, 2009 at 2:08 pm
5
Chef Troll says:
There’s stuff to do besides heavy drinking in Minnesota. I think.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:08 pm
6
Thor says:
Chef Troll,
Generally yes, but when the temp dives 20 30 degree’s below zero, the options tend to become staying home and drinking or going out and drinking… or hockey.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:21 pm
7
Dan Brown says:
Let’s have a look. (/dons bifocals)
“*&^@#*&^@#*&^@#*&^@# you bit*^”
Some simple cryptological analysis reveals the above formula. The asterisk equates to the letter c, while the carrot is likely an h. What that leaves is with is
“C&h@#C&h@#C&h@#C&h@# you bitch!”
According to the minutes of ancient and HIGHLY SECRETIVE meetings of the Knights Vas Deferens, the ampersand symbolizes the letterstring “unt”, while @ and # , of course, represent “a” and “t” respectively. Thus, we have our answer!
“CunthatCunthatCunthatCunthat you bitch!”
Great Scot! To the letterbuttonmachine!
/makes millions
October 1st, 2009 at 2:39 pm
8
HoustonHusker says:
that dude be stronger than a fuck lion …
October 1st, 2009 at 2:40 pm
9
beerbaron says:
dickbreathfuckwhores
October 1st, 2009 at 2:47 pm
10
Sean F says:
Minnesota not-so-nice. At least they’ve shown some concern about appearance by picking up points during the football season and not during Fulmer Cup season.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:49 pm
11
Gen. Stoopnagle says:
Did someone say hockey?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5YjPteCPLo
October 1st, 2009 at 3:16 pm
12
Tommy says:
cuntsuckermotherfucker
October 1st, 2009 at 4:21 pm
13
DevilGrad says:
assraperpolanskidick
Orson must *love* what this is doing for his metatags.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:44 pm
14
goblue says:
Minnesota + police =
http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/4/Knives-Vs-Cops-699908.html
October 1st, 2009 at 8:37 pm
15
Craig says:
Finally, some signs that Big Ten football is moving in the right direction.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:51 pm
16
MJRuffalo1 says:
Clearly the Big-10 is now faster than the SEC. Whe you have linebackers dusting cops like this, compared to corner’s in the SEC getting caught by the gainesville police.
Florida needs a speed upgrade.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:51 pm
17
cantcatchuf says:
Cops around here all are former SEC safeties… mostly of the Berry-mold, but angrier.
October 1st, 2009 at 10:46 pm
18
everloyal says:
how many letters in “mother fucker hit my penis” ??
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:04 pm