THE PROPER WAY TO TWEET ABOUT YOUR COACH

by Orson on Sep 29, 2009 11:56 AM EDT

Mike Leach has issued an edict that the crew of the Red Raider shall not, under any circumstances at all, tweet. This follows the linebacker and leading tackler Marlon Williams tweeting about Leach not being on time, which is definitely not the way to tweet about you coach. Williams would probably still have a Twitter page if he'd taken the Pete Carroll Tweeting Forever: Living Like a Champion in 140 Characters or Less pamphlet to heart (a publication with 140 character chapters, of course.)

Or he could have done something like this if he was going to tweet about his coach:

Now that Leach and his pirate navy of grad assistants have blockaded his players from Tweeting, we won't find out the fate of Brandon Carter from his Twitter feed, which also disappeared after Carter posted about his dissatisfaction with the beginning of the season. Carter posted he was suspended, a suspension confirmed by Mike Leach in terms so icy a hitman might cringe at them:

Asked how much the offensive line will miss Carter, Leach said, "Not at all."

Don't fall off the side of the boat, Red Raider. Ships don't have brakes, and it's a long way to swim to Aruba if you're tossed off the side "accidentally."

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WRT Carter – that face paint and spiked hair won’t make him any more buoyant, but his future in the WWE is enhanced. The plank, she is short…arrrrrgh!

by Crabapple Buck on Sep 29, 2009 12:21 PM EDT reply actions

This won’t surprise anyone, but Dennis Dodd vomited out an “OMG HE’S LOSING THE TEAM” paint-by-numbers blog post yesterday.

http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/6270202/17404362

by JD on Sep 29, 2009 12:23 PM EDT reply actions

So much material to work with here that you sold yourself short on this one. +1 cocktail only please.

by elcapitan on Sep 29, 2009 12:37 PM EDT reply actions

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot.
Drink up me ’earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me ’earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
Drink up me ’earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we’re really a fright.
Drink up me ’earties, yo ho.

We’re rascals and scoundrels, we’re villians and knaves.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, we’re really bad eggs.
Drink up me ’earties, yo ho.

We’re beggars and blighters and ne’er do-well cads,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.

by Cotton Hill's Shins on Sep 29, 2009 12:48 PM EDT reply actions

Yarr, twas stormier waters on the Gulf than the good Cap’n bargained for! Methinks Cap’n Leach lost his head a li’l when Cap’n Sumlin keel-hauled his Raiders. Tis one of those moments when even the saltiest of dogs ‘as to wond’r where ’is sea legs be. Maybe he thinks tis a good time to plunder new waters, eh?

No matter, tis a good thing those Raiders have a New Mexican wench to plunder next.

by Pirate Jim the Well-Tanned on Sep 29, 2009 1:51 PM EDT reply actions

So basically Mike Leach has a big dick. Got it.

by James C. on Sep 29, 2009 4:16 PM EDT reply actions

There is no place in college football for fat emo kids. I’m glad Mike Leach finally realized this.

by JimHalpert on Sep 29, 2009 5:22 PM EDT reply actions

Asked how much the offensive line will miss Carter, Leach said, "Not at all." Asked how much they will miss the Legion of Doom face paint, Leach said, “It will always be a part of me.”

by Brizzle on Sep 29, 2009 8:58 PM EDT reply actions