HE SUFFERED, DIED, AND WAS BURIED IN THE TURF

Lapsed and practicing Catholic alike, take heed: this is quite funny (if only for point-by-point textual accuracy.)

For our sake Tim was suplexed under Taylor Wyndham,
he suffered, died, and was buried in the turf...

If being raised Catholic taught us nothing, it was a fine respect for rote memorization, the absurdities of bureaucracy, and the need to run away from friendly older men.

One parallel we're thinking of in model, but certainly not degree: Brook Berringer. The only real comparison for a team attempting back-to-back national titles with a backup is Nebraska, a team so dominant the only real parallel here is in the switching to a backup qb because of an injury to a starter. DO YOU HEAR ME NEBRASKAVOLK: YOUR TEAM WAS THE BEST EVER AND CRUSHED ALL IT SAW. Settle down.

We're not comparing the two in quality, but in terms of situation. Nebraska lost Frazier for seven games in the 1994 season to blood clots, and Berringer came in as a junior and performed brilliantly, going 7-0 before yielding the job to turbohuman Frazier for the title game against Miami.

Even after his demotion, Berringer returned off the bench to help lead Nebraska back to a 24-17 victory over Miami, and played extensively the next year as Frazier's backup.

For instance, in scoring the final TD over Florida. We don't remember this thanks to adaptive strategies adopted by humans to avoid memory of severe trauma. (Bourbon.)

The quality differs: John Brantley is a redshirt sophomore, and far greener than Berringer was. One thing Brantley does offer that Tebow does not have is the patented Brantley Strategic Delivery System™, something more like the "system" you use to deliver high-powered explosives to a target, and less like the Gordon Schlomo Real Estate "system." Brantley has a booming arm, and while the offense would not create the same difficulties in numbers in the box that Tebow does. He would, however, mitigate the effects of "The Monte Kiffin" Inside/Out strategy a bit, and give a new wrinkle for opposing defenses to deal with in the meantime.

In summary: having Tebow > not having Tebow, but if he has to sit out a substantial amount of time due to the concussion, it might not be the worst thing in the world. Florida's defense and special teams are good enough to play a bit of Beamerball for a while if they have to, even if it's going to cost us some furniture when the offense plays punting placeholder in those hypothetical games. (We're eyeing you, IKEA chair. You only cost 20 bucks anyway, and Ukrainian factory workers are grinding out fifty of you an hour. Don't think you're special.)

Subbing a qb out in a title pursuit is rare, but it has happened before, and when it did the results weren't actually all that terrifying.

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