HE SUFFERED, DIED, AND WAS BURIED IN THE TURF

Keep telling yourself that.

Signed,

WVU fans 2007
Oregon fans 2007

Okay, okay, okay, aky, aky, k, I got it. Here’s how it shakes out.

Tebow is held out of the LSU, Arkansas, and Miss. St games. LSU is a gritty victory for our D and John "Scott Mitchell" Brantley. Arkansas and the soulless one are similarly dispatched as Moody has his first real breakout game. Then we crap the bed in the Magnolia State to keep up with traditions (it’s what makes college football, amiright?) and Mullen can get credit for the win without having to beat his favored son directly.

With title hopes dinged but not gone, Tebow makes his triumphant return against the Dawgs. He has a decent game statistically, but the highlight is his second TD run to break Herschel’s record where Tebow and Rennie Curran collide at the 2-yd line (rendering the LHC in Europe superfluous) and Tebow nudges into the end zone.

Both the Orange & Blue and Red & Black stand and applaud and tears come to the eyes of the blind.

"And the lion shall lie down with the lamb…"

Georgia fans immediately swap their GAP wear for some comfortable Jorts and Crocs while Florida fans start humming "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."

The Rapture occurs, leaving only tOSU & FSU on Earth to fight it out in the Fiesta Bowl in a game which goes into infinite overtimes as Tressel continually punts to start each OT possession and FSU misses wide right every time.

All right, maybe a little far-fetched. Tebow has a great game, not merely decent.

Minor difference: that was during the first title run in 1994, not the crushing death-bot of the ’95 team. This may mean Florida is better poised to repeat than Nebraska was. Maybe.

Nebraska actually had to start its third-string QB, Matt Turman, against a Bill Snyder 1.0 K-State team in 94 because Berringer suffered a collapsed lung a week earlier. Does UF even have a third stringer?

If only the BCS were around in 1994……….

Signed Kerry Collins, KiJana Carter, Kyle Brady, Bobby Engram and Jeff Hartings

To be completely honest, Tebow or no Tebow, I will still fear the Gators equally.

Tim Tebow’s right arm is our 3rd string QB

This probably is going to be a big part of why I go to hell, but my first reaction to seeing Tebow on the ground Saturday night was to say to the TV, “Surely if you are the King of the Jews as they say you are you will get up off the field.”

Yeah, terrible I know. Seriously though, I hope he’s okay because, even as a non-Gator fan, I do enjoy watching them play when they are at their best. And so that he’s okay.

“If being raised Catholic taught us nothing, … the need to run away from friendly older men”. Jut a little bit of advice from experience, when running from these friendly old men in ESS EEE CEE parishes it is best to go North/South and not wide. They will stuff you if you go wide!

The only thing missing is the ending Amen.

And the Gator Chomp into the handshake greeting.

Isn’t kind of morbid to compare Tebow dying to a dead college QB? I mean, the situational comparison is good, but man, I think you could have picked a better person to compare him to.

And by the missing Amen at the end, of course you mean “Go Gators.”

North 2, you finally got me at the Fiesta Bowl. I think it’s time to leave work now.

Great vid. What makes that Nebraska team even more amazing is they did this to a Florida team that came back and won the title the next year with basically the same personnel. RIP Brook.

El Kabong!!! @ 10

I see what you’re saying, but he’s actually comparing Brantley to Berringer.

Get a Second Opinion Dept:

The AP is reporting that Urban Meyer thinks Tebow will play in the next game against LSU. Meyer said Monday that Tebow has a headache, but is eating well. He thinks — but doesn’t know — that his star player will be ready to go against the Tigers.

Memo to Mother and Father Tebow: Get a second opinion from doctors not affiliated with the footbaw team…if you know what I mean…regarding Tebow’s health.

ahh the 1990s… i miss those days

“by the power of the Gay-ass spread”….priceless

Guys, appreciate the link. However, posts on our boards age off, so you might want to copy the text and, once that link is no longer valid (probably within about two weeks) replace it with the text.

To DanF: Thank you. I will admit bias, having gone to PSU, but I still believe in my heart of hearts that my team would’ve won that game. Not the ’95 Huskers, mind you, but the ’94 version. Penn State was playing with an offense full of NFL starters, including four that had decade-long pro careers. My only complaint is that you left out Brian Milne and his enduring mustache.

@ SKLM

Correct me if I’m wrong but Tebow got knocked out cold, which means at least it was a grade 2 concussion. Now he has headaches which is another not so good sign, should Meyer be a little conservative with his words in saying Tebow can probably go against LSU.

I know coming from an LSU fan cheapens my concern a bit but seriously; BRAIN INJURY URBAN, BRAIN INJURY! Is Urban that ice cold? Especially if another concussion could end his season If he’s rushed back on the field.

Granted, I don’t know the extent of his injuries.

Head injuries Dept:

#19, K@LSU…according to a GatorSports.com article on concussions:

“The American Academy of Neurology Web site describes a Grade 1 concussion as the athlete having transient confusion with no loss of consciousness. A Grade 2 concussion is when those symptoms, including mental confusion, lasts longer than 15 minutes, and a Grade 3 concussion is when there is any loss of consciousness, even if it is for just seconds”

Of course Meyer is going to state that Tebow has a good shot at playing. There’s no way you tell Les Miles and his staff that they’re facing Brantley this far out. Instead, you keep repeating the same lines for the next 12 days, up until one of them has to button the chinstrap and run onto the field. Plus, you really don’t start getting an idea of how the treatment is progressing until about 72 hours after suffering the concussion.

I think Thom Brennaman said he thought that the medical staff who spent either 5 mins or 20 mins with Tim Tebow , their lifes became better for it.
And Thom thinks that Tebow may be out for 5 weeks of football, or 20 weeks, either way we will all be better for it.

It’s still odd to me that the one way people always make fun of Tebow is to ridicule his faith. Even Florida fans and alumni do it.

so is this like the bargaining stage of your grief?

PS, who thought UF fans could be more insufferable with their allstar in the hospital than they were with him healthy

Gators – the red sox nation of CFB!

NewAZTiger:

Beat me to it. Damn. Good thing for Florida that the injury didn’t happen when there was still time for Kentucky to beat them, huh?

“DanF says:

If only the BCS were around in 1994……….

Signed Kerry Collins, KiJana Carter, Kyle Brady, Bobby Engram and Jeff Hartings"

Then PSUcks would have gotten thrashed. Careful what you wish for.

IMO, Tommie Frazier is STILL the best collage QB ever to play the game.

i kants spels vury gud.

I guess it does not matter since Meyer has already stated that Tebow will be ready for LSU, but Brantley is a talent.

Brantley is already better than the starter at: SCar, Kentucky, Tennessee, Vandy, Miss State, and Auburn. If he was getting starter snaps in practice and during spring ball and August, he would be better than the starters at Alabama, LSU, and Georgia, too. He certainly could not have fared worse at Ole Miss than Snead, thus far, as well.

It must be nice having someone like Brantley behind Tebow. Man, I hate Florida.

Soooooo……We get Shane M. with excellent running backs AND an incredible defense. I think I could live with that. (yes, genuflect, TT get better soon).

Per user name. I am a Georgia fan. I am not nor will I ever be an Urban Meyer Fan. I felt that he relied on Tebow too much when he hurt his shoulder and I hope that he doesn’t play TEBOW during the LSU game. Not because I want Florida to lose but because I would rather Tebow have more time to recover.

The brain is a mysterious thing and unfortunately Concussions don’t help cognative abilities long term. There is too much risk to Tebow’s health long term.

I know Tebow is a competitor and wants to compete but I would rather be 200% sure that he is going to be fine than risk another concussion. (Since like TURF TOE concussions can creep up on you again and again once you get that first one)

I believe in God The Father Almighly, Maker of Heaven And Earth. And in Jesus Christ, His Only Son. Who sed the following:

“JoePa, git you a pair of old boxers and hide dem in a pasture under a rock in June 2009. Call Ernest T. Bass to decipher their decomposition. With a postum as thy witness. Absorb my wrath if they have more than one hole after eight weeks – “Thou shalt suffer degradation from an obscure, far away menace with scant attention to intelligence. They shall be from a land of plenty and maize, which is what Marlon Brando’s chick who accepted his Academy Award fer Patton sez that be whut Injuns call corn. And those beasts shall be clad in the colors of Steelers in the early fall of 2009. Fear this prophecy, that you wil not suffer the January of discontent that involves certain suffering at the hands of The Ginger Ninja.”

I know turf toe doesn’t impress the ladies like a vomit-inducing concussion, but JC has been walking on fucking water. If ND had any semblence of a defense we’d be in the top 5. Orson, you must post three articles detailing the travails of Jimmy’s toe in the next 48 hours, lest you be accused of an SEC bias…

@22
It puzzles me that people of faith aren’t made fun of MORE. Let’s leave Bronze Age superstitions in the Bronze Age.

@29
you’re right, turf toe doesn’t “impress the ladies” like a vomit-inducing concussion. concussions disturb the
ladies. and they ought to disturb everyone. too many players risk their health and long term well-being @ every level of play.

I guess a plaque of Timmy`s CATSCAN will go next to his famous speech plaque now? He had the sitiuational awareness to wink and say ’it`s great to be a gator? … whatever

He should not have have still been in the game, if he is kept in there to run up the score as Urban Meyer seems to like to do, then that is was the end result of a chance he`s willing to deal with. I`m by no means a gator fan and No, I do not like seeing ANYONE getting hurt like that but this is a Coach`s ego problem

The problem with that 1994 PSU team was their defense. I think that the Illinois game really killed their chances of winning a perception war with Nebraska when the UI offense, which was averaging 10 pts per game, miraculously scored in the 30s in a nail biter against PSU that year. But in general, PSU was in shoot out after shoot out. Not to mention that the win over CU probably sealed the deal with us, since they ended up numero tres and blew out ND. And beating Miami in the orange bowl vs. the ducks in the rose probably didn’t hurt.

@22 and 30

You just confirmed what sensible people always suspected religious zealots and militant atheists are really the exact same kind of person, both mindless idiots.

@ 22

I think a large part of it is due to the fact that religion and football don’t really go together. But, an even bigger part of the mockery comes with all the worship this guy gets by the Florida fanbase and certain members of the media. So, that’s why I poke fun at his faith because he seems to be enjoying all of the publicity which kind of goes against the whole religious thing which teaches you to be humble.
 I mean look at his promise speech which was practically carved in stone as if it were a religious doctrine. I get it, you’re pissed that you lost and you’ll try harder. You “kept” your promise but come on, that team was expected to go undefeated so I don’t know if Tebow’s inspiration carried the team as we’re led to believe, or was it raw talent and ice cold coaching from Urban Meyer that did it. Also that stunt in the championship celebration, where he pulled off his sling to say he’s coming back. It’s all an act for him which is fine, if we weren’t bombarded with how much better a person he is than anyone else, on earth.
I respect the guy for his talents and his works of goodwill but damnit, I’m tired of getting Tebow rammed down my throat everyday.

@ 34

I believe the Indiana game was more damaging to Penn State, as the Indiana game came a week before Illinois.

Indiana scored on a last second Hail Mary to make the final score, 34-29, and Nebraska leapfrogged Penn State for the #1 spot.

Personally, I don’t think Penn State’s defense was that bad, because Penn State scored often, and they scored quickly. Penn State’s defense got much less of a breather compared to the defense of, oh I don’t know…

Nebraska.

Personally, I think Penn State would have beaten Nebraska, but I guess we will never know.

What I do know is that FSU would have curbstomped both Nebraska and Michigan in ‘97. By far, Spurrier’s most impressive regular season victory at Florida.

People ridicule Tim’s faith because A) they are non-believers and have knee jerk reactions to denounce religion whenever possible B) Are fans of teams other than Florida, who in the past few(or more) years have been systematically slaughtered year in and year out by OBC or Meyer C) Are jealous that their alma mater doesnt have a quarterback that is even remotely close to the talent level that our 2nd string QB has, D) Are te same type of fan who all of a sudden “hate” a team because they have kicked major ass and been in the spotlight or finally E) are for whatever reason uncomfortable in hearing about someone who actually cares about other people and does good for himself and the lives of others. To all the aforementioned people I give a whole hearted “go fuck yourself”. Our(yes I said our) quarterback is not a criminal, does not suckerpunch people postgame, does not dance in the endzone, and will never register Fulmer Cup points. The guy takes one big hit and listen to all the haters. He will come back better than before, because thats what he does.

People aren’t mocking Tebow’s religion, they’re mocking the way fans of Tebow worship him as if he were a religion.

“Football and religion do not go well together”

The entire Notre Dame fanbase disagrees virulently disagrees with this statement.

Well, Berringer crashed a plane later.

@ 36

You’re exactly right; it was the Indiana game and not the Illinois game. I’m too lazy to look it up, but if I remember correctly, Indiana scored not one but two garbage-time TDs against Penn State’s subs, the second as time ran out. The game was never in doubt, but some voters perceived it as such.

What I’m not too lazy to look up is whether or not Illinois "was averaging 10 pts per game" in 1994. That assertion is, well, bullshit. Illinois averaged 25.7 ppg that season and were averaging 26.1 ppg going in to the Penn State game. Illinois still had some residual John Mackovic mojo in ’94 and was a respectable team.

http://www.fanbase.com/Illinois-Fighting-Illini-Football-1994

Incidentally, how bad was John Mackovic’s move from Illinois to Texas for all three parties involved?

IMO, the ’94 and ’97 Nebraska teams benefit from a halo effect from the ’95 team, who legitimately are on the short list of all-time great teams. The ’94 team won the championship (a) because of the misinterpretation of the PSU – IU outcome and (b) because voters felt sorry for Osborne for never having won the big one. (This seems laughable in retrospect, especially in light of the Lawrence Phillips saga.) The ’97 team got a shared title only because people put way too much stock in the shambolic concept of college football overtime. Michigan was the only truly unbeaten, untied, major-conference team in the country in ’97 and as such should have been the consensus champion.

Yes, I unabashedly worship Tim Tebow. It’s alot easier to believe his religious fervor than to believe the “I found Jesus in prison” routine from guys who didn’t live a great life before they found religion and llfe behind bars.

And yes, I am defensive about both Tebow and Meyer….especially when I hear crap from experts like Nick Celllini who “divined” that the REAL reason Meyer stayed overnight at the hospital was not because of any feeling Urban might have towards Tim but rather based purely on guilt.

1985. Troy Aikman is the starting qb for the Oklahoma Sooners and is driving the team with ease for their second touchdown against the Miami Hurricanes. Drops back to pass and wham, broken leg his season is over. True Freshman Jamelle Holleway, an option qb steps in. OU loses that game to Miami but goes undefeated the rest of the way, and leads the nation in scoring offense and defense, and defeats #1 Penn State in the Orange Bowl to win the national title! I think that’s a pretty good backup qb story!

I hope Tebow doesnt have to give another “The Promise v2.0”….. and then forgets what he was about to promise…
And I think the first thing he said to Corch Irvin Meyers was “Everyone back up, Im fixing to ASCEND!”

@41
Yeah you’re totally right. Nebraska blowing out #3 Tennessee<Michigan squeaking by Wazzu by 5. What was I thinking?

What Penn State fans always miss is that the Indiana loss had nothing to do with their fall from the #1 spot. The reason Nebraska moved past them for the #1 ranking was because they destroyed the #3 ranked Colorado Buffalo team 24-7 as a home underdog and w/ Berringer as the starter (they were up 24-0 late in the 3rd quarter). The next day they leapfrogged Penn State. Coincidentally, that was the Huskers’ 200th consecutive sellout and they just celebrated the 300th consecutive sellout last Saturday.

As a wise man once said: “Brook chose to fly, Brook chose to die”

@42

What were you thinking? That’s a good question. Clearly you weren’t thinking about:
- Colorado vs. Michigan (a 27 – 3 Michigan win)
- Nebraska vs. Mizzou (a very lucky 45 – 38 Nebraska overtime win)
- Nebraska vs. Colorado (a 27 – 24 Nebraska win)

That Washington State team was 10-1 and ranked 8th in AP and 7th in the Coaches’ poll, incidentally. Also, Carr was notorious for conservative game plans and a rather quaint sense of sportsmanship, which held down his victory margins. Osborne, who seems to have become a beloved figure by virtue of not being Barry Switzer, would’ve won every game by 50+ points if he could have (just like his alleged foil, The Bootlegger’s Boy).

Listen, I’m not a Michigan fan. In fact, their fans, who seem to get less joy out of a monster program than any fan-base in America, often bug me. But I find their arguments about 1997 more persuasive than those of Nebraska fans. And that’s my opinion, which is why I began that paragraph with “IMO.”

Ergh, I meant, “@ 45,” but I think that’s obvious.

@48
I know what Wazzu was ranked. Michigan had some close games that year also, and it wasn’t because Lloyd Carr was such a nice guy. They had shit for offense that year and could not have kept up with the Huskers for four quarters, IMO. But, we’ll never know. My point is that Nebraska’s bowl win against a better team was much more impressive.

• A bowl win against a team that won the title the next year, too.

“A bowl win against a team that won the title the next year, too.” No, a bowl win against a program that won the title the next year. Programs and teams are not one and the same. Virtually every program has significant roster turnover from year to year.

I also didn’t mention the other common opponent: Baylor. Nebraska had a very convincing win over them (49 – 21), but Michigan’s win was even more impressive (38 -3).

“They had shit for offense that year and could not have kept up with the Huskers for four quarters, IMO.” One beauty of college football is that the champion is decided on a team’s entire body of work, not on hypotheticals.
- Both teams played good, major conference schedules (i.e., neither was ‘84 BYU).
- Nebraska stumbled against Mizzou; Michigan never stumbled over the course of its schedule.
- Michigan performed better against common opponents.
That’s enough to convince me.