KENNY CHESNEY HOLDS OUR NATION BLANDLY HOSTAGE

The song is such an incredible pile of steaming shit, that I PREFER THE COMIN’ TO YO’ CIT-TAY SONG FOR CHRIST’S SAKE.

Actually, it is 6,550,000 results for Kenny Chesney college football sucks. (1.68 million more “sucks” than you reported). Let’s give Chesney the credit he so richly deserves.

Maybe ESPN can get the Wiggles to be the official group of BIG GAMES™. Kenny Chesney and The Wiggles have the same “children under 18 months” and “autistic with a side of tourette’s” demographics fucking nailed.

When you type in “die in a fire Kenny Chesney college football” you get 7,100,000 matches.

oh goody. the music hate is back! it is so bad, that I would even vote Better Than Ezra’s “Hell No!” a better song…(waits for LSU fans to show up, giggles)

DMB RULES!

- Signed “Frat Guy”, 2002

Oh I see, Mr Humes. You just want to ruin the “big games” and the last game of the season for us by rolling out the guy with a big hat and no cattle. You are now off my Christmas card list.

I would like to hear more of the College World Series song….. 10x better than Chesney

Ignored in this post, WHY THE FUCK IS THE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND THE OFFICIAL BAND OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL? What does bland pop music and tuneless singing have to do with football of any kind?

I honestly could not resent them more for putting me in the position of “missing” Big & Rich. Unforgivable.

@9 – obviously going for the “frat-douche” market.

Not only do both Chesney and the 15-year old DMB songs piped in between breaks make me long for the likes of Big & Rich and Green Day’s “Know Your Enemy” — but it makes me actually want to hear Faith Hill singing the Sunday Night Football theme.

THIS IS WHAT IT’S DRIVEN ME TO (even though Hill is a hottie wearing a sweater dress.)

Perhaps you can recommend the approved hipster anthem of the moment as a replacement?

How wrong is it that I assumed “tractor beach” was a real song until “who just loves college football…” I mean, I’m sitting here still, and thinking, yeah, that’s probably on KC’s next album, right next to the song about playing in a high school football game on the beach while drinking margaritas in flip-flops with a girl from Cleveland.

Anyone know DMB’s homebase? It’s Charlottesville, home to the 0-3 University of Virginia Cavaliers.

I rest my case.

Kenny Chesney sucks syphyllitic donkey cock. The only way this this could be worse is if they used Saliva’s “Click Click Douche.” I meant “Boom.”

And I still preferred David Cook’s “Heroes” when they used it at the end of last season; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8chU8u_CGM [/dorky closet American Idol fangurl]

At least with Big & Rich I could always imagine thay were saying TIT-TAY instead of CIT-TAY.

Somewhat bearable that way.

Well, on the bright side today, the UF/UGA game is staying in Jax.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4497934

for every hater theres a lover:
http://blog.cmt.com/2009-08-28/kenny-chesneys-espn-song-scores-big/

no way at all theres any bias in that post. NONE.

The truly sad thing here is that Dave Matthews is getting a bit of a free pass since Chesney sucks so fucking much. DMB deserves as many virtual daggers as we can spare. Agreed on the morbid fact that Big n’ Rich is the best of this woeful trio of crap.

As for an “approved hipster anthem,” I thought the AC/DC medley from the 2008 coverage fit like a glove. If you’re using it as football intro music it should be something you’d want your alma mater’s stadium filled with as your beloved team runs out of the tunnel. It should be angry and violent while mainstream enough to be recognized by parents; easy answers include Guns n’ Roses and Metallica.

I’m pretty fucking far from hip but if it were up to me personally it’d be something from the Parliament Funkadelic catalog. When I’m hungover and drinking a bloody mary at 10 am I want something I can dance to, dammit.

#20, “The mothership has landed!”

there is only one version of Hurt worth watching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57ta7mkgrOU
Kermit knows the pain…

The crappiness of Chesney and DMB obfuscates the atrociousness of Rascall Flatts on the Big 10 Network or Skillet for the Raycom ACC game of the week. Why do we need these stupid songs. All it does is make me want to change the channel.

After a timeout, sometimes I close my eyes and fantasize about hearing Fugazi or good Soundgarden vs. Dave Matthews and Chesney. Unfortunately, evil always wins.

How many results does Google return for everyone’s favorite recruit, “Buttfuck McGee”?

GWAR – Gor Gor… I can see it now, instead of corso rocking the helmet gear, he gets lowered down to stand atop the desk…. GWAR garb on… is he seizeing or stroking out? we just don’t know…(too soon? well, he disrespects the OBC and South Cackalak)

Bette Midler – Wind Beneath My Wings: for the long bomb offensive games (i.e. houston/ttech)

Kenny G also rocks (he can hold a note for 45 mins… FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES)… he has a strong college following…

meatybob @24 – “Two beats off” would be particularly appropriate, perhaps, except it doesn’t quite have the “kill the other tribe JUMP AROUND NOW” vibe that people seem to be looking for. Well, by people I mean actual fans, as opposed to ESPN’s Chesney message of “kill yourself JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE NOW” – I suspect that Bristol is harboring a radical splinter group of the Zero Population Growth movement trying to get more of us to end it all.

Mr. Hume claims he hasn’t heard anything but positive feedback about the song… so here’s his email address in case y’all wanted to register your opinions…

michael.c.humes@espn.com

I want to wrap his puka shell necklace tightly around his fake tanned throat, and softly sing “There Goes My Life” through my nose as I watch his receding chin quiver and the light slowly leave his eyes.

And I agree about Big & Rich…its a helluva lot more fun to greet a football Saturday by singing “Well I comin’ on your tit-tays!”

Iggy and the Stooges: “Search and Destroy”

I wish it were playing every time I entered a room – THEN PEOPLE WOULD RESPECT ME!

They need to sack up. As the CFB Hall of Fame is moving to Atlanta, they need Atlanta artists. So maybe the occasional bit of Lil’ Jon, Luda or OutKast, and a heavy dose of Mastadon.

Kickoff coverage that starts with “Blood and thunder” or “oblivion” would get me pumped up.

That damn song makes Big & Rich seem tolerable. And I didn’t think that was possible.

Football deserves adrenaline music. Country is not adrenaline music. Bad enough occasionally hearing it as background music in a store; whoever had the idea of polluting football games with it deserves to be shot into the black hole at the center of the galaxy.

95% of country music sucks.

95% of all popular music sucks.

The 5% of goodness can be found along all genres, country included [/dwightyoakamed]