TUESDAY'S PAUL JOHNSON POP QUIZ

by Orson on Sep 22, 2009 3:23 PM EDT

Okay, huddle up. I want you to listen to me. I hate every single one of you right now.

Pop quiz! Which of the things below were things Paul Johnson actually said about Georgia Tech's performance this past Thursday against Miami:

1. "We’re not really good at anything right now."

2. "It was very poor technique. I don’t know what the guy was doing, really."

3. "It's not legal for me to choke a player to death with his own intestines. I couldn't do it, anyway, considering how gutless we are as a team."

4. "If you can’t go on the snap count — the other team doesn’t have anything to do with that. That’s you."

5. "For a bunch of engineers, we suck at counting to three." *

6. "We had too much in. Anytime you can’t do what you’re supposed to be doing, you’ve got too much in."

7. "I shot every tenth man after practice and donated their bodies to science, but had them rejected by the morgue due to lack of spine."

8. Of coordinator’s Dave Wommack’s assertion that his defenders will switch to a 4-5-2 alignment for Saturday’s game against North Carolina: "We could play a 4-12-9, but it won’t matter what we play if we don’t get our face on somebody and our eyes where they should be."

9. Of coordinator's Dave Wommack's assertion that he deserved to live another five minutes without being thrown into a giant aquarium filled with rats and bees: "When you assume you make an ass out of 'you' and me. You also get thrown into a giant aquarium filled with rats and bees for sassin', too."

If you answered "all of the above," you'd be correct, though Paul Johnson actually only said 1, 2, 4, 6, and 8 in a press conference we'll go ahead and describe as "honest, and profoundly uncomfortable. " We're sorry we disappointed Coach Johnson, and we're sitting five miles away, cannot play football, and had nothing to do with the Miami debacle.

*Reggie Ball Reggie Ball Reggie Ball Reggie Ball Reggie Ball.

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It’s funny because it’s true!

by kb_nd on Sep 22, 2009 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

To anyone that got this pop quiz wrong:

“Are you really that stupid?”

by Tim on Sep 22, 2009 4:12 PM EDT reply actions

CPJ’s candor is amazing. Old school and then some. Good to see somebody not blowing sunshine after a shellacking from the previous week. But will the fanbase tire of this after a while? Could the contrast with Mark Richt be any more stark?

by Farsider on Sep 22, 2009 4:19 PM EDT reply actions

Seriously, how did Corch Johnson get away with screaming that at a player on national TV? Was it because it was a Thursday night? I got the feeling that most coaches would not have received a pass on the issue.

by Wozzo the Wonder Dog on Sep 22, 2009 4:20 PM EDT reply actions

I really really wanted #5 to be correct.

by TJ on Sep 22, 2009 4:20 PM EDT reply actions

Beamer’s still doing OK after smacking that kid in the head during the wfvu 03 game.

by I'm A Lasagna Hog on Sep 22, 2009 4:29 PM EDT reply actions

@4, huh?

Coaches yell worse at their players every game. He didn’t even curse at him. I remember when Mangino cussed that guy out last year everyone laughed at it, nobody wanted to execute him.

by Ish on Sep 22, 2009 4:33 PM EDT reply actions

I’m not sure what Johnson said to a player on national TV and got a pass on, because by about the second quarter when I realized that this game was going to closely resemble the Chan era I drifted off a land of puppies and rainbows to try to prevent the flashbacks from kicking in and murdering one of my housemates for commenting “Wow, Miami’s really doing well”.

by wfguiteau on Sep 22, 2009 4:35 PM EDT reply actions

Wozzo the Wonder Dog,
You think Johnson calling a player stupid is inappropriate language for a coach to be using? Have you ever been within 100 yards of a coach during a practice or game?

by RamblinPeck on Sep 22, 2009 4:41 PM EDT reply actions

I’m not saying that the outcome would have been different but if anyone deserves to be headslapped is the ACC officials who scheduled GaTech for 3 games in 12 days playing a very fast team who didn’t have the same grueling schedule. Yeah, I know, ESPN and $$…but that was ridiculous.

by hobeg8r on Sep 22, 2009 4:51 PM EDT reply actions

“Son, come on over here. I know that football is really, really hard and that you really do try your best, but could you maybe, if you are up for it, try just a little bit more? You’re the smartest, fastest, strongest kid around. I know you can do it. Thanks!”

by cantcatchuf on Sep 22, 2009 4:55 PM EDT reply actions

@10

I’m not totally disagreeing with you, but Tech couldn’t hang 40 on Jacksonville State with their backup quarterback in. That started to set my Gailey Sense tingling for another 7-5 season. There are some troubles on the offense that have been there from the start, and the secondary is resembling cardboard cutout decoys designed to confuse the wide receivers rather than an actual coherent pass coverage unit.

by wfguiteau on Sep 22, 2009 5:44 PM EDT reply actions

I was really pulling for #8 to be real. He might as well have said, “We could arm the entire team down to the water boy like the goddam Hutus and put them on the field to get after some defenseless Tutsi infants and it wouldn’t matter, because our DEFENSE LACKS FUNDAMENTALS.”

by haveagreatday on Sep 22, 2009 6:07 PM EDT reply actions

My heart is now officially torn between Dread Cap’n Leach and Engineer Of Your Doom Paul Johnson.

by AERose on Sep 22, 2009 6:50 PM EDT reply actions

Paul Johnson has no tolerance for b.s. Zero. And UGA fans are really making a fuss out of him yelling at players??? Wet Nurse Richt’s boys are near the bottom of college football for penalties. I’ll give ‘em credit this year for (mostly) staying out of the Fulmer Cup though, but that’s about it.

by Brewer for GT President on Sep 22, 2009 10:01 PM EDT reply actions

@14:

I like to think of them as two sides of the same crazy coin. One runs a crazy spread passing attack and the other runs a crazy spread option attack.

by asim on Sep 23, 2009 1:20 AM EDT reply actions

After reading years of PJ’s pressers after practices I could pretty much guess which ones were real because that’s pretty much what he says after every practice. I have to admit that I thought #5 was a definite maybe.

PJ interviews are awesome after you get to know the guy a little bit.

by NavyHusker on Sep 23, 2009 7:56 AM EDT reply actions

The big knock on Gailey was that he “settled for mediocrity.” I don’t think you’re gonna see anyone say that about Johnson. The big problem Tech has now is that their good offensive linemen are too young, and their experienced offensive linemen just will never be very good, but you never, ever hear Johnson say that, do you? The guy may yell at somebody in the moment, but he never sells them out.

This was the youngest team in the ACC last year, and they still have only three senior starters. But Johnson’s not saying that; he’s saying they played bad, and that they have to play better. Good coaching point for kids who are going to have to play above their heads the way his Navy players did.

Also, the stupid comment was OK. He didn’t yell, “You’re stupid!” which gives the kid no room to improve.

by Golden Hand on Sep 23, 2009 9:55 AM EDT reply actions