YOU SONS OF BITCHES DON’T NEED TO START SENDING ME CHECKS!

I’M BROKE ANYWAY!

Bob

Chip Kelly, the only beneficiary of third-grade cursive handwriting.

Where can I get EDSBS checks? I don’t think Wachovia has those available…

He’s lucky Chip didn’t send Legarrett down for a little chin tappin.

I think a few members of USC’s offense should take note of this and send their checks back from whence they came after Saturday’s faceplant

Bill Stewart is about to get a flood of invoices…

Tommy Bowden owes me $10,000,000.

I’m trying to imagine how much $$ Jim Tressel owes tOSU fans for all those bowl losses.

A suitcase of Coors Light should do it hobeg8r

I thought this would end with him donating it to the athletic department. I guess that would be silly.

Why would I need to invoice him? I can just print the check you posted above.

Man, us Michigan fans could have cashed in on RR last season, boy did we miss the boat on that one.

(I’d use the money to build a giant statue to Forcier)

I’m looking at you, Ray Goff.

I wonder if we can get an online petition going for the same thing from Chan Gailey…

Franchione should file bankruptcy now. He’s still got people “holding that rope” all over the country.

I’d invoice Ed Orgeron but am afraid I would receive a bundle of bloody badger pelts as payment.

I’m sending an invoice to the estate of one Myles Brand.

Gerry DiNardo still owes me money from ’98

Dear Mr. Charles Weis….

1. - I would like to invoice Saban for that Capitol one bowl debacle.

Tony Seminary = whiny little bitch.

Teams lose from time to time – whether or not you paid good money to follow them. Get used to it or don’t go.

Pussy.

@ 1, LOL

end of line…

1. - For once I would agree with the inevitable response from Saban that he does NOT have time for that shit.

Dear Anthony,

Enclosed is the check you requested. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Love,
Chip

PS. Can I get a quote on some antivirus software? Maybe some mouse pads?

Somewhere, Curly Hallman is sleeping one off on a pile of purple and gold IOUs.

@Geaux: I agree. If you don’t like how they play, then cancel your season tickets and shut the fuck up.

He just bought himself a peck of trouble. Now every meth addict in the Northwest is going to be sending invoices to people.

Jim Tressel doesnt owe us OSU fans anything, we owe him. He has brought class to our program. He wins conference championships, beats Michigan, and plays in BCS bowls. He will win another NCAA title, mark that down. Jim Tressel should get a check from the fans.

Since I live among these people, the only good Duck fan is a speechless Duck fan. Thank you Chip Kelly.

[NAME REDACTED] owes me a check for 2.5 years of my life

I get so tired of these band wagon fans.

I am tempted to send an invoice to Tony requesting the reimbursement for the past 15 minutes of my life wasted due to the frustration cause by his whiny attitude.

Tony, I sincerely hope that was the last Duck game you’ll be attending.

Looks like the Chipster will be a great fit in Eugene, "Got a problem? Throw money at it!" is the official athletic department motto down there.

I want to invoice Bo Pelini and Skers OC Shawn Watson for my trip down to Blacksburg.

Pete Carroll should receive money for cutting Trojan faithful expenses and just going to the Rose Bowl instead of travelling to Phoenix or NOLA or Miami on a regular basis. He even went green by getting to the NCG when it was played in Pasadena. He is looking out for SC in a troubled economic environment.

I could retire from the reparations owed to me for countless trips to Jacksonville in late October.

Awesome. As an alum, I’m proud of Kelly for that move. That Tony dude is also kind of a jackass for sending an invoice. Hilarious though.

Chip is a man’s man, this does not surprise me at all. keep up the good work Chip.

Your buddy,

S

If that’s the case, the Bama Mike’s (DuBose, Price, and Shula) owe me a yacht filled with gold bricks ,angus beef, and dreams.

That Axe hair product ad could only be more annoying if it punched me in the face every time I rolled my mouse over it.

Mike Shula is quivering.

People named their kids after him.

Nick Saban read this story, gave a snort of contempt, reflected for a moment and then got on the phone. His athletic department is now preparing invoices to be sent out to all the Bama faithful.

and I don’t think you want to stiff that guy

Chip Kelly wipes his ass with $439

Tom @ 20 While [Name Redacted] may have taken 2.5 years of your life, what check are you willing to send to Croom for getting rid of him?

Is “priceless” legal tender?

That should read Tom @ 30.

@ 28

Being that he works at a state school, technically, he does get a check from the fans. However, he does owe y’all some money , at least so you can get rid of those Clarret jerseys floating around.

It’s funny that ND, Michigan or Alabama fans would even respond to this. Three of the ALL TIME WINNINGEST College Football Programs can’t handle a little adversity.

Try pulling for South Carolina who has an all time LOSING record.

I just need a bullet to put me out of my misery.

@ 28

45 beat me to it.

Tressel gets a check from the Ohio State faithful who contribute to the booster club every other Friday, I am guessing. Nike money and Big 10 money, alone, do not make the world go round.

I agreed with your thinking until the end, but per usual, an Ohio State representative screws it up in the end.

I thought referees were the only people who got checks in conjunction with Oregon games.

I actually did invoice Da Coach O on Oct. 21, 2007 after the Arkansas game. Three days later, I got a severed goat head in the mail. One week later, the goat body was delivered with a note that said, “DA COACHO DOENLIKEUH YUH ATTATUDE. HE GETTA NUDDA INNUHVOICE, SUMBODY GONNA GET YO HEAD INNDUH MAIL.”

That was my last contact with Da O.

Bobby Petrino, the invoice is in the mail

I am owed serious cash from every South Carolina coach in my lifetime, my father is owed serious cash from every South Carolina coach in his lifetime, same goes for my grandfather. In fact, I believe that the University should fork over 40 acres and mule as reparations for generations of misery experienced by my clan at the hands of our football coaches.

Ed Ogeron? He is easily as responsible for Old Miss being #4 as the current staff. He brought in most of the players who are leading this team. Without him, all we’d be is that team that the other Manning played for.

@ 46:

ND’s 2007 season alone could be worth millions. Compensation is due not only for losses and travel expenses, but for emotional damages, academic damages, and most importantly, liver damages.

52 – I’ll give you everything but the liver damages. If you’re really Irish, that liver should be damaged whether you’re winning, losing, or not playing any football at all!

Hang on a minute. Oregon “doesn’t deal with dot-coms”? What the hell, are they still living in 1997 or something?

Waiting for non-SEC fan to remark about reduced compensation for SEC fans as travel to average road game can be done on single tank of gas.

This is a great story and it shows the true class of our new head coach. Now please do him a favor and block out his signature!

#48….once again, you prove the old adage that “you can’t spell pOUt without OU!”

#38, StuBone, I’m pretty sure those guys left the dreams behind.

I’m sending Frank Spaziani a bill for the pizza I threw up while watching the BC “offense” Saturday.

1. How did you actually string 40 acres and mule, reparations, generations of suffering, South Carolina and
   clan in one sentence? How many tries did that take???

Alabama fans just send their request tied to a brick.

what a bandwagon fan

I sent a request to our AD after last season and got a 6 million dollar check!

not one of you bastards is owed as much money as UVA fans.

top that. i dare you.

Ogeron has as much to do with Ole Miss’s current success as Sadam Hussein does in lowering the crime rate in Iraq.

Both are long gone. Hopefully we learned our lesson with hiring assistant coaches from winning teams.

Chipper:

What is your address? I’d like to send $1,000.00 in appreciation of your performance in Boise. Share some of it with Punchy, too.

I am SO sending a bill to Ohio State for causing me intense emotional pain by getting an unlubricated ass-raping 6 times on national TV. Please send to Pocatello, Idaho. Will use for impoverished Idaho State athletics (I’d send a bill to ISU but chances are they’d have to pay me back with the athletic director’s office and use of Holt Arena for an aircraft hanger at my discretion. I think a 6-31 record is worth it).

Thank you, that is all.

Oh, and part of the proceeds will go to making a bronze statue of Orson Swindle smack dab in Sanford Stadium, arms proudly extended in full-on Gator Chomp Epicness

i sent an invoice to chan gailey after 51-7 (the first one), and i got enrolled in the jelly of the month club.

@ ed #69 -

That’s the gift that keeps on givin’ the whole year.

/cousin eddie

1. (browbeaten) — USC fans should be compensated for each inexplicable loss the last 4 seasons, plus emotional damages estimated at the cost of a trip to the BCS Championship game each of those 4 seasons.

Besides…only reasonable requests get compensated. UVA fans wouldn’t have a case.

I was just as upset about the poor performance in Boise, but you showed no class in writing him a letter with an invoice. Give me a break. Be a real fan and suck it up. Your team wins they are your team, same as if they lose good or bad. Don’t go crying to the coach. He has better things to do than respond to people like you. Just do your “job” as a fan and cheer loudly for your team win or lose. Go Ducks!

Amazing. I only glanced through your replies and every single one that I read was ALL ABOUT ME AND HOW MUCH MONEY I’M OWED.

This article is about a real man. A man we should admire because he took responsibility for his team’s lack of production on the field and owning up to it.

It would have been nice to see such comments as, “Man, I wish I had a coach like that at my school!”, not “I’m owed at least a half a billion because my school’s football team is terrible.”

I am impressed with Coach Kelly and now have a much more favorable view of the University of Oregon. Go Ducks!

I’m totally sending Bill Callahan an e-mail now. If enough Nebraska fans did this, the athletic department could recoup the golden parachute buyout he was paid when he was fired for doing a shitty job.

Whaaaa stop your crying. This guys an idiot for thinking you can come on the blue and beat Boise State any way. Why would you waist your money in the first place. Did you look at BSU’S record on the blue? If you did then you wouldn’t have waisted your money to travel to Boise. I think the coach is setting a bad example for sending this guy a check what a joke. What a disgrace to college football. I say stop crying over loosing and suck it up. I am so sick of people putting Boise State down then when they get the crap beat out of them by little Boise State they all start crying. Well get use to it cause BSU is here to stay and we will keep beating the competition.

I would have definitely cashed that shit!

Detroit Lions…CHECK PLEASE!

Just think of the money you could make as a Detroit Lions fan… HOLY SMOKES!

Send me an invoice … AND your address … BE home and expect PERSONAL delivery

#65: I sat through four years of football at Vanderbilt. I am pretty sure that tops your UVA claim.

so, Kelly bought his reputation back for $439? Heck of a deal.

On the same day Chip Kelly wrote this check (Sept 8), he also responded to an email I had sent him, telling him of my support for him, LGB and the football program after that nightmare game. After all, how could any Duck fan think that they felt worse than CK did that night? It wasn’t OUR first day on the job, and WE didn’t have to suspend LGB the next day – how difficult that must have been for him. This pseudo Duck fan should be ashamed of himself. What a class act CK is! He already had my support, but it’s doubled now.

I too wrote Mr Kelly an email. I wrote to him immediately following the ‘punch’ fiasco and expressed how disgusted I was by Blount’s actions towards the Boise player, his own teammates, and the fans.

I explained that although I am a huge college football fan, I had no connection to Oregon. I am a graduate of NC State and currently live in N.C.

I received a personal response from Mr Kelly the following day (Sunday). He expressed his own feelings of disappointment and explained to me the immediate actions that would be taken. I also received a response from the Athletic Director.

I received another email from Coach Kelly a few days later, when a final decision had been made about Blount’s status w/ the team.

I was surprised and impressed. I second what you wrote… “I am impressed with Coach Kelly and now have a much more favorable view of the University of Oregon. Go Ducks!”

One check? Just one? Try handwriting out 150,000 personal checks for $ 1.15.
That’s how my mama raised me, to be a man of my word — with a special purpose. I wonder if Chip Kelley has a special purpose just like me?

Good for Chip Kelly.

That’s the moral of this story. Not all the whining about however your team is ruining your life.

I put up with the gators thru the 70’s and 80’s. 1979 our only sucess was a tie with Georgia Tech (0-10-1). (don’t you miss the ability to have a tie game) I still loved the Gators and continued to be season ticket holders to this day. College athletics change and you have ups and downs. I think after the last 15 years I’m even. Well maybe one more national championshp will make me even. “It is Great to be a Florida Gator.”

Agreed. This is poor sportsmanship by a fan and only was swayed because the class the coach displayed. Had no check been mailed back this whiny twerp would still be fussing. Some people need to A) grow up, B) learn it’s only a game and C) grow a pair.. sheeesh

I say the man has class…leave him the hell alone. There’s not enough of that in the world today. Go Ducks!

That is a pretty amazing story. Coach sends check to disgruntled fan. I think this story has earned Chip Kelly my respect. I dont know alot about the Oregon but it seems weather they win or lose, Kelly seems like a good coach and I respect the hell outta him.

One word… UCLA. Okay, okay… that’s actually an acronym… but you get my point. If sports fans were due compensation from disappointing performances from their favorite teams… there would be a lot more Bruin fans driving Beamers.

I fully understand the need… and motive… for sending the email to the Oregon coach about that game. Sometimes a loyal fan just needs to be heard.

And what a classy response by Chip. I will try not to snarl at him when we play Oregon later this year. ;)

browbeatenhoo and others….You just think you’ve seen misery. I’ve been a Vandy fan my whole life. I think I can remember 2 winning seasons and only 1 since I was in high school. When a 3 win season in the SEC is something to cheer about, you know it’s bad. Used to, we could usually count on beating KY (not so much anymore) and a couple of non conference teams. Now that MTSU is on the schedule and is beating Vandy, how much more pain can one team bear? Cutler is in Chicago and he was the only bright spot in nearly 30 years. Maybe we can find a high school team to beat. Oh wait, they are all good teams too.

 I applaud the coach of the Ducks for being a stand up guy. He could have ranted and raved and cussed, but he was a class act. So was the guy that sent the invoice. Both classy guys.

Pathetic. You buy a ticket, you are obviously taking on the inherent risk that your team might LOSE. ESPECIALLY if you visit another school. He was owed nothing, and should never have been paid a dime. He’s a bandwagon fan, typical of Duck fans I might add. And a piss-poor one at that.

I’m an Oregon State fan. We had 30 YEARS of bad play, and nobody asked for their money back! Fans just stopped going to the games. The Duck lose away to an extraordinary BSU team, and someone asks that Kelly pay him back??? Well what did he expect?

It’s crap like that why I hate Duck fans and that pathetic team. Chip Kelly should be fired for obliging this pathetic fan.

I can top ALL of you. Live in Michigan and have a city like Detroit, where there COULD actually be a PRO football team sometime, in fact, it might be a good location. What’s there now is not a pro football team, considering that most middle school teams could beat them on a regular basis. Here’s a fun fact for everyone. The Detroit Lions have made it to the playoffs exactly ONE SINGLE TIME since 1958 and have played in ONE SINGLE GAME and lost. Thanks to the Ford family for owning them since then. Winless in 2008 and well on their way to DO IT AGAIN in 2009. Go Lions.
Thanks to the Ford family for their ownership since 1958 and completely stifling the team.

Re-read message #73. Darrell is right on. And I am a Bears fan!

JD (55):

Haven’t you ever been to Eugene? Oregon isn’t living in 1997, Oregon is stuck in 1967 with Flower children, 60 year-old hippies, and tie-dyed shirts, et. al. Fascinating place.

Concerning the Duck fan, I agree with #92. I am a diehard fan of Idaho State and Ohio State. I’m not swayed by 3 straight BCS losses and 6 soul-crushing losses on National Television. I keep coming out to watch Ohio State play on TV every Saturday if I get the chance.

Concerning Idaho State, a 1-AA team in a part of the country that doesn’t give a shit about anything except bitching about taxes and bandwagons as far as sports go:

We’ve gone 6-31 the past 4 years. Average attendance in a stadium that holds 13,000 is hovering around 4-5 thousand (and that’s a good day, we have had days where the attendance is usually 2,000). We haven’t been to the playoffs since the year I was born (1987). I’m usually the only guy who gets face-painted for ISU games in a region of 60,000 people.

I don’t regret it at all. I live and die with this team that can’t even get to .400 some years (on par with Vanderbilt perhaps? What say you, #91?)

That Duck fan can shove it up his ass! :D Seriously, that guy should grow some balls. Maybe Les Miles can help him with that!

That joke of a school in Eugene and its treacherous fans have standards now? The Apocalypse is upon us.

You can pay for school but you can’t buy class.

i think it would have been cooler if he would have gotten the win

What a great lesson for students of PR. Most corporations should be so wise…and honest.

I find it very interesting that the people who criticized “The guy who invoice Chip Kelly” has no idea what the original email said, it was not about the Ducks loosing it was about the bad sportsmanship by one member of the team and it was about what Chip Kelly said at a UO football diner on Aug 28th. “Not guaranteeing a win, but rather, guaranteeing we would be proud of our Oregon Duck football team when we play Boise State”…..did you ever stop to thing that the media never gives all the facts…..get your facts clear before making a judgement call. Oh and by the way Tony Seminary “the guy who invoiced Chip Kelly” is pretty cool like that!!!!

Regarding the comment made about the Detroit Lions:

I live near Los Angeles. I was wondering if its better to have a local pro team like the Lions that is not performing well… or to not have a pro team at all after having one since the 1940s ?

If you don’t want them… for God’s sake send them here. At this point, we’re on the brink of rounding up all the gang bangers and forcing them to duke it out in the old Coliseum. Or maybe pit them against troops of Girl Scouts on steroids.

I thought this was a wonderful article about what must be a man with incredable integrity. Integrity at a level that is seldom seen today. It has proven to me also, that this is a honorable man.
I always find it confusing when somebody writes a feel good story about someone in sports and all of these, so called sports fans, turn it into ‘all about them’ and their pathetic perceptions.

CHIP KELLY-A True Man With Integrity and Honor

Dude, you should be ashamed of yourself for sending Chip that invoice. No soul at all. Chip had a tough
enough time as it is without jerks like you adding to it. Your accolades for him now as are shallow and cold
as your original, heartless, gesture. As an Oregon grad, I’m ashamed you came from my school. Support
a Cal team, where the bottom line is everything.

Chip Kelly demonstrated that he has zero credibility by going back on his word and playing LeGarrette Blount in last night’s game. I am sure the U of O is not too worried about what I think, but as long as Chip Kelly is the coach, I will never attend a Duck game or support them in any way.

Chip Kelly quote:
“That’s not what we’re all about. That’s not what we coach. That’s not what we stand for and it’s unacceptable, I will not include an individual who acts in this manner in my program. His suspension includes bowl games.”

Oregon president Richard Lariviere called Blount’s behavior “reprehensible.”

“We do not and will not tolerate the actions that were taken by our player. The University of Oregon is better than that and Oregon’s loyal fans expect and deserve better.” Lariviere said in a statement