EARLY SHIFT OPEN THREAD: GOING BRUTAL
by Orson on Sep 19, 2009 9:13 AM EDT
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PrintFlorida plays Tennessee today. A one and a two and a chick a boom a chick:
Rage out in the thread below for Gameday and the early games. We'll be over here. The guy in the blue war paint holding the club. Drinking our usual cocktail for this very special day. Ethyl alcohol and the blood of a freshly killed buck.
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Let the hating commence…. hate you all. Go to hell.
by Kevin@LSU on Sep 19, 2009 9:29 AM EDT reply actions
Monte to Lane: “Dang, son, did you have to piss them off?”
by Rick on Sep 19, 2009 9:55 AM EDT reply actions
Is it just me or does Kiffy look like he was on an all night bender with Eight Ball the Tiger?
by irishwareagle on Sep 19, 2009 10:09 AM EDT reply actions
That’s right bitches. Bevo drops his hot mess anywhere he likes. Don’t matter who’s watching.
by Orson's Love Slave on Sep 19, 2009 10:27 AM EDT reply actions
I’m full of spite. Probably because I’m at the office today…and hungover. HATE HATE HATE
by Kevin@LSU on Sep 19, 2009 10:29 AM EDT reply actions
As Phil Fulmer bites into his 8th donut of the morning, his phone rings. Seeing that it is Lane Kiffin calling, he hits reject call again and mutters gleefully “stupid little dipshit”
by RayCom Roy on Sep 19, 2009 10:35 AM EDT reply actions
It is 11 years to the day since Tennessee ruined my Bar-Mitzvah in overtime. On this Rosh Hashanah, I will be there at my temple to witness the drubbing and merciless violence that our gentile warriors will unleash. The memory is never washed away or healed, but it feels a little better year after year in St. Urban’s tenure. May Tebow have no mercy on their souls.
Also, better Bert and Ernie musical clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OH0wlkfbc
Favorite Muppets clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGfx3QAV64M
by chaimy4life on Sep 19, 2009 10:35 AM EDT reply actions
Meanwhile, Jim Tressel, who’s been awake since 4:30 this morning, is drink a warm cup of de-caf and eating an english muffin, while skimming the classified for job listings. Just in case.
by Kevin@LSU on Sep 19, 2009 10:40 AM EDT reply actions
I’m ready for a Romp in the Swamp! … Any Volunteers? …Coach Meyer, Tim Tebow and the Gator Defense ….The game is 60 minutes long. From the first snap of the ball till the final whistle, have no mercy on the Volunteers!
As Dr. Lou said: “Tennessee, you will probably be beat in a blowout … but remember, it is not Urban Meyer’s job to hold the score down, it is Lane Kiffen’s job.”
Hoping there is room for 3 didgets on the Gators’ side of the scoreboard this afternoon!
by 86GOPGator on Sep 19, 2009 10:52 AM EDT reply actions
I have a feeling the UL-Lafayette/LSU NIGHT game will shatter every tailgating record for alcohol comsumption, property damage, and ritual human sacrifice
by NOLAcane on Sep 19, 2009 10:59 AM EDT reply actions
So, some chick tried to take a pic with Tebow then right before the picture was taken, she pulled her shirt up and tried to flash her tits. Tebow, of course, drove out of the picture. If I were him I’d be pissed. But of course I am not him, so a.) that would never happen to me and b.) if it did, I would have been like YEAH BABY!!!!!!
by ALGator on Sep 19, 2009 11:04 AM EDT reply actions
@#8: How the hell did Fulmer manage to get 8 donuts away from Weis?
by Ninja Football on Sep 19, 2009 11:14 AM EDT reply actions
As the Volunteers take the field….In the tunnel Lane pulls dad aside and says “your going to be able to stop them, right?”
by Chi Town Tressel on Sep 19, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions
…and the knob-slobbing over Matt Barkley continues.
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 11:17 AM EDT reply actions
I wish I could hand-off the ball to Joe McKnight and take all the credit.
by Kevin@LSU on Sep 19, 2009 11:18 AM EDT reply actions
The apotheosis of Matt Barkley by ESPN just happened. By his senior season they’ll probably crown him with every Heisman Championship retroactively and for the future.
by No. 14 on Sep 19, 2009 11:19 AM EDT reply actions
Come on guys….He did throw that 3yd pass to Mcknight!!
by Chi Town Tressel on Sep 19, 2009 11:20 AM EDT reply actions
Just combined Heisman and the Natl. Championship there, but I imagine ESPN will try to pull that too for Barkley
by No. 14 on Sep 19, 2009 11:20 AM EDT reply actions
Running out to pick up a case of Yuengling before the awesomeness that is CFB begins. Hopefully I won’t have to take credit for any misdemeanors or felonies that occur either before or after Auburn takes on West Fuckin’ Virginia.
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 11:28 AM EDT reply actions
man that brunette over Fowler’s right shoulder is smokin hot! love a chick in a hardhat!
by JDAU on Sep 19, 2009 11:41 AM EDT reply actions
Did anyone watch the entire 2:30 minutes? Five seconds was enough for me.
by chg on Sep 19, 2009 12:02 PM EDT reply actions
If a chick pulls her top off to flash for a photo, and if I am Tim Tebow, I am laying my hands on them to cover them up and heal them. Healing usually takes about 2 hrs in a secluded place, preferably with a couch or bed….
I hope they let Tim Tebow play defense today along side Brandon Spikes.
LaLafaytte vs LSU…..would anyone outside Louisiana be able to figure out what each fan base is saying to the other? The critter population has dropped to almost certain extinction, tinkering on the brink before 8pm tonite.
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Sep 19, 2009 12:09 PM EDT reply actions
Minnesota starts three possession receivers at linebacker. I foresee many opportunities to read the back of Best’s jersey.
by chg on Sep 19, 2009 12:10 PM EDT reply actions
Good Lord, Jahvid Best is playing on fast-forward.
by Orson Swindle on Sep 19, 2009 12:12 PM EDT reply actions
East Carolina all over Botch Freckles…and we have a Ron Cherry sighting everyone!
by NOLAcane on Sep 19, 2009 12:23 PM EDT reply actions
Methinks Tedford woke up confused by the time change and thought it was 2004 again. The Bears haven’t shown any sort of verve or creativity on offense to compare to this in five years. Trick plays, multiple formations, deep throws, and of course Jahvid “Yakety Sax” Best at his Jahvid Bestest…
by Vandy J on Sep 19, 2009 12:25 PM EDT reply actions
Better drum mashing for Bert and Ernie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TDhbJMLvQc&feature=player_embedded
by Geaux Irish on Sep 19, 2009 12:26 PM EDT reply actions
Florida by 20. The line just went to 31. Monte Kiffen isnt letting that happen.
I’m betting 10’s of dollars that Florida wins 34-14. I think Tebow is a gracious host.
by Mr.Pelican Pants on Sep 19, 2009 12:29 PM EDT reply actions
Decker is bleeding out of his mouth after that hit.
by Orson Swindle on Sep 19, 2009 12:44 PM EDT reply actions
what the hell is going on around here? Temple recovers onside kick after field goal.
by joepadoeshotcoeds on Sep 19, 2009 12:46 PM EDT reply actions
Joepa looks like he might stroke out…
by joepadoeshotcoeds on Sep 19, 2009 12:47 PM EDT reply actions
between pam ward, ron cherry, and the DMB all being on ESPN2 at one time im not so sure I want everyday to be saturday
by NOLAcane on Sep 19, 2009 12:48 PM EDT reply actions
As long as Decker isn’t bleeding from his rectum, then I guess that catch was worth it.
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 12:50 PM EDT reply actions
No. Illinois up 14-7 over Purdue… further proof big ten sucks hind tit.
by joepadoeshotcoeds on Sep 19, 2009 12:54 PM EDT reply actions
WTF?! When did the Beach Boys start attending Minnesota’s football games?
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 12:57 PM EDT reply actions
Come to PENN STATE!
BRAAAIIINNNSSS!
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 12:59 PM EDT reply actions
Joepa treats McQueary like a redheaded stepchild
by joepadoeshotcoeds on Sep 19, 2009 1:08 PM EDT reply actions
In memory of Mr. Swayze, today we all need to be nice. Be nice until it’s time to not be nice…which will probably be after the 6th or 7th Maker’s & Coke.
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 1:10 PM EDT reply actions
@ 48
I know in most parts of the South diluting Makers is considered a sin, but some of us have to pace ourselves. Don’t wanna end up calling my friends for bail money before the night games start.
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 1:23 PM EDT reply actions
@ 49
Pacing yourself is for northerners and women (sans Holly of course).
Drink up.
Bevo loves you all.
by Orson's Love Slave on Sep 19, 2009 1:26 PM EDT reply actions
I have no clue which group has more hate equity, Texas or Florida.
by Ruck'em Horns on Sep 19, 2009 1:37 PM EDT reply actions
@ OSL
You’re right, commencing to drink up.
Sobriety? We don’t neeed no steeenking sobriety!
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 1:38 PM EDT reply actions
Sorry, shoulda been OLS in that previous comment
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 1:40 PM EDT reply actions
Aside from Jahvid Best warping space and time, the most entertaining game early has been watching Ron Cherry seize control of the ECU/UNC game like champions do.
by Orson Swindle on Sep 19, 2009 1:47 PM EDT reply actions
Passing buzzed and going straight to drunk. Do not collect $200. Thank you Yuengling and vodka shots. Kiffyn can go to hell.
by RanchyBalls on Sep 19, 2009 1:51 PM EDT reply actions
@ 52
Not just drinking.
Hate, stabby, hate drinking. Drink it angry my friend.
Orson: Cal and Minn getting interesting….as much as the Big 10 can be.
by Orson's Love Slave on Sep 19, 2009 1:59 PM EDT reply actions
Pacing yourself is for northerners and women (sans Holly of course).
Drink up.
Awww! And amen. hic
by Holly on Sep 19, 2009 1:59 PM EDT reply actions
RE: “didgets.”
I love this typo. I’m starting a math-rock band and calling it Didgets.
by Rich on Sep 19, 2009 2:01 PM EDT reply actions
Quote of the day so far…
Rece Davis – “Lou, did you ever burn your last 3 timeouts to run up a score”
Holtz – “Nope”
Mark May “Did anyone burn them running up a score on you?”
Holtz – /whispering “Bobby Bowden”
by Beeps on Sep 19, 2009 2:04 PM EDT reply actions
@ 58
Didn’t Rece also ask Dr. Lou something about taking timeouts so “you could stick it in them”?
Heh heh heh.
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 2:12 PM EDT reply actions
Looked the ball was still on the UNC blocked kick when the refs blew it dead just as an ECU player scooped it up and began running towards an open field. Also, it actually makes me angry that someone as incapable as Pam Ward is employed.
by chg on Sep 19, 2009 2:17 PM EDT reply actions
My God… end around w/ a pitch… then a TD pass… I think I used that last in Tecmo Super Bowl…
by Beeps on Sep 19, 2009 2:20 PM EDT reply actions
Did anybody see the “emotional” piece on the old Colorado QB with cancer? Was it just me, or are they running out of truly touching football stories? The guy knocks up the coach’s daughter, tells coach he will not marry her, dies of stomach cancer, then years later son is recruited by Mad-Hatter Miles to be the walk-on QB at LSU. I will repeat that last part, walk-on QB.
by Ruck'em Horns on Sep 19, 2009 2:21 PM EDT reply actions
Man, Decker looks like he’s got a small hole in his chin!
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 2:26 PM EDT reply actions
Rich Brooks thinks falling behind in the 4th quarter to Louisville is BULLSHIT. 20-17 Cards.
by JD on Sep 19, 2009 2:28 PM EDT reply actions
On a related note, cocktails to DirecTV for replacing ESPN Classic (which shows nothing but poker, boxing, and bowling) with ESPNU in my programming package. Now go steamroll Comcast and get me my Versus back.
by JD on Sep 19, 2009 2:32 PM EDT reply actions
I hate when people say “college football is so much better when Notre Dame is relevant” or “major league baseball is so much better when the Yankees are in contention”. Did anyone say the world is so much better when Hitler was at his prime???
by joepadoeshotcoeds on Sep 19, 2009 2:45 PM EDT reply actions
ACC officials step up with the heardscratching call in the game’s final moments of UNC-ECU to remove all suspense.
by chg on Sep 19, 2009 2:48 PM EDT reply actions
The noble Ron Cherry is (of course) blowing calls in the UNC-ECU game…oh ACC…oh my head…
by TarHeelBorn on Sep 19, 2009 2:48 PM EDT reply actions
No, really, I could give less than two shits if Notre Dame is relevant.
by College Football on Sep 19, 2009 2:49 PM EDT reply actions
Yeah, I’m scratching my heard over that call too.
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 2:52 PM EDT reply actions
College football is better when Notre Dame is relevant because it means more watching them lose to Michigan.
by Beeps on Sep 19, 2009 2:53 PM EDT reply actions
@70: No shit. Casual fans might pay more attention because it’s a team they’ve heard of, but the sport isn’t any better for it. In fact, it’s frequently worse off because the other good teams get ignored in the slobberfest that results.
by SpartanDan on Sep 19, 2009 2:57 PM EDT reply actions
Jahvid Best with five TDs for Cal today. Will ESPN stop playing Matt Barkley’s meat whistle long enough to notice?
by JD on Sep 19, 2009 3:06 PM EDT reply actions
Rich Brooks thinks that Maxwell’s game-saving INT is definitely NOT BULLSHIT!
by A Clean Kick to the Facemask on Sep 19, 2009 3:11 PM EDT reply actions
Eric Decker holds back his hair with scales that Adrian Peterson has shed.
by Beeps on Sep 19, 2009 3:12 PM EDT reply actions
Northern Illinois beats Purdue.
Wendi Nix and her librarian glasses – still doing it for me.
Kentucky holds off Louisville.
by JD on Sep 19, 2009 3:20 PM EDT reply actions
Ky wildsmurfs avoid “Bluegrass miracle Pt II”
by Col. Ingus on Sep 19, 2009 3:21 PM EDT reply actions
@80 – co-sign. Getting pressure on the QB rushing 3 is nothing to sneeze at, esp. when the freed linebacker as a result is getting interceptions.
by Vandy J on Sep 19, 2009 3:24 PM EDT reply actions
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