STEFANO FROM MIAMI WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS THE CROWD

hooooly shit! Yo soy de Miami, yo naci en el norte de Miami, y soy gringa, pero- omg…i am still trying to recover. there was talk earlier of a Peabody..Idk, but i expect to see some sort of award after this post. it reflects the comments of my high school crew over at facebook earlier tonight. wow.

I cannot get over the conspicuous gold glitter on the man’s chest, exactly where the woman’s face would be if she were suckling upon his man cans. I’m not accusing anybody of anything; I’M JUST SAYIN’.

I think one of the rules is, any program that has an in-field serving as a red zone gets no respect, no matter their record.

It’s funny cause that’s how they act.

So I guess this means asshole fans and asshole commentators mentioning Asshole U a lot more now. I love it. I love it when players take off their helmets after an average tackle on a player who gained 12 yards. I love it when players celebrate first downs like a come from behind Super Bowl win…woo hoo Miami is back.

The whitey in the GT cap next to the crying baby, how many times was he accused of being a homosexual tonight?

I love being the bad boys again. Keep the racist garbage coming, keep us off the schedule for a few more years, and maybe yall can pretend you arent afraid that you woke the sleeping giant.

Jacory Harris = Not a virgin.

Carry on.

Bad boys? Win a meaningful bowl game again and then talk. You’re 2-0.

Keep us off the schedule too – it’s not a one-way street. Believe me, it would not have been a fun thumping the
past 6-7 years as you have been rebuilding. And no one’s worried about a sleeping giant down there. Guns,
drugs, lack of fans, yes; not sleeping giants.

Jacory seems like a decent kid and is very likable…how would you know about his virginity?

Randy Shannon = not a good coach.

Try and win your half of your ridiculous conference or else maybe think about going into the Sun Belt where
having 143 fans at a game isn’t embarrassing.

A better question is why a program with access to the fertile recruiting grounds of Dade/Broward/Palm Beach ever went dormant in the first place. But hey, credit where it’s due: Jacory Harris is a stone cold killer, and Mark Whipple has thus far put him in a position to succeed. Make no mistake though: The Canes early success this season is a direct result of the exponential improvement of Jacory Harris; and the exponential improvement of Jacory Harris is a direct result of replacing Patrick Nix with Mark Whipple. The only bad thing for U is that with every stellar performance by Miami’s O, Whipple becomes that much more desirable to fill any coaching vacancies that occur as the season goes on. And when that happens, will you find another Whipple or another Nix?

Oh, and Orson, I think you missed Stefano – in between questioning the sexuality of anyone dressed different and looking to start fights with anything that move – drunkenly slurring “We got some Canes over here!” about 40 or 50 times and giving multiple shout outs to the Three Oh Five. Other than that, pretty much spot on.

Orson, I was hoping to be the first to post about the crying little girl. When I saw that last night while watching the game I was shocked but then giggled a bit. It kind of reminded me of how Coach Shannon would have looked in the locker room after the Gators tacked on the extra field goal last year .

There’s just something about the North Avenue Trade School that makes me think the next two weeks for Miami (Vtech and Oklahoma) will be sad panda times for the mojo chicken industry.

NolaCane: Lessee, there’s an accusation of racism, claim of fear/dodging, and reference to “bad boys.” You, sir, have seized the triple crown of Miami fandom.

GTU is a phantom holding call from BEEing 1-2

Coach Johson to O lineman coming off the field, for a national TV audience to hear : “Are you really that stupid?”

 I didn’t think the NATS could ever hire someone as unlikeable as O’Lardy, but maybe they have. Keep it up, you no-lipped, man-boobed POS

Miami has an excellent offensive line, and more than adequate skill players. Georgia Tech has only the latter. Eh, its one game; Tech will probably splatter UNC next week. Miami’s offense looks pretty good, though; I’ll believe they’re not when I see a defensive lineman in the same time zone as Jacory Harris.

The funniest part of the night wasn’t during the game, it was the commercial with Donna Shalala flashing da U sign. GT’s commercial countered with dorks on trikes, not a female to be seen.

VT is winnable and Oklahoma may or may not have Bradford back, also winnable now. I’m afraid Miami might have slipped into some schedule karma if they get past the first 4 games. Any loss after that would be an upset.

BTW, they get tOSU in Columbus next year and in Miami the next.

We’ll see how “back” The U is when they play a team with a real secondary. Jacory Harris is hitting his receivers in stride and all, but those balls (LOL!) hang up in the air for quite some time. A team that can recognize a developing pass play and close on the ball shouldn’t have any trouble defending that.

Levante su mano si eras un ‘fan’ de la universidad de miami, y vivas in coral gables. Nadie? Creo que no.
One day I’d really like to take a survey of fans at a U game to see how many actually have a highschool education.
Orson you are a modern day Upton Sinclair.

I wonder what Stefano’s major is at Mijami?

1) What do you think that dad in the pic will be more embarassed about, the fact that he’s flashing his crying 2-year old daughter all over national TV or the fact that the reason his daughter is crying is because her dad REALLY wanted to dance to the song from Blade and the crying baby was worth it for him?

2) I can’t imagine mixing the tOSU and Miami fan bases. Stefano meets Subcommandante Wayne… And we thought the ‘Worlds Largest Outdoor Taxidermy Convention’ would destroy the universe! Oh well, if nothing els, Jersey sales should skyrocket…

While I do not doubt the stereotypical representation of the Miami fan, I find it hard to believe that someone would choose to live that lifestyle…thug, homophobe, questionably cock-sure, insecurely defensive, outspokenly obnoxious, socially unacceptable. I am no highbrow aesthete, but sweaty, loud and stupid doesn’t seem to be a desireable life choice…and what a reputation for a reputed institute of higher learning…Shalala should be so proud.

Thank goodness the rumors of my imminent hiring at THugE U are quelled, even if temporarily.

Tell me again why this ratbag conference deserves teams in the Top 25 and the big least doesn’t.

#2-

Dang. Just threw up a little in my mouth.

Jacory Harris isn’t a virgin but, he used to pay for strange.

I was just reading your 52 Reasons ESPN Sucks… piece from a couple years back, and, Orson, it’s still fuckin funny. Can we add this fuckin movie about “Da U” to that list?

1. has clearly never attended a football game.

KILLLLLLLL HIMMMMMM.

I am starting to believe that if you are the HC at Miami, that it is almost harder to NOT have a behemoth FB team. All of them are from Miami, all are fast, now with a solid O-line? Just…fuck.

@7 Jacory Harris = Flavor Flav

Wow…that chest hair is really disturbing. Also feeling queasy now that I’ve noticed the glitter – thanks, #2!

And to the Cane fan…not sure what Jacory Harris not being a virgin has to do with anything, but here’s another for you:

Jacory Harris = not a Heisman winner, either.

Here’s to Miami being brought down to earth by VT and/or Oklahoma, sans or avec Bradford. Otherwise their fans will be insufferable.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Chairman of the Board of Trustees, University of Miami, c. 2029.

Do you realize how many bandwagon teams have been tearing it up this year? The Steelers, the Tar Heels (in basketball), the Lakers, the Yankees… the U springing back to life would just be the cherry on top of the shit sundae.

We beat the U pre-Whipple last season though it was with our own John Crompton in Nate Longshore. Not sure what Cal would do against them this year but I like our chances. Being from the left coast I have little to no experience with the U and its fans (the Emerald Bowl was cold and the U fans few and far between). However if life imitates art (and Orson’s art is usually spot on) then I def. want to see Miami and it’s fans against a rival like Florida or FSU. PAC-10 fo life fooooo!!! (crappy rip off of U fan).

Umm… didn’t the girl next to him see Goldfinger???

I need me a “U” belt buckle. That shit is awesome.

Did the moobs get the gold sparkle on them before they got shaved, or after?

@20,

The fan bases did mix(proportional to reality I might add) in Tempe Arizona in 2002. It was 200K buckeye fans and about 10K Miami fans. Miami does not have a fan base, they have a gang.

Swindle, I have been a LONG time reader and fan…but we must all admit: the Grand PooBah of Fan Satires is Tawhmy from Fahkin Quinzee

http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/tag/tommy-from-quinzee

Publix mojo chicken is the shit

“Stefano screams YOUUUUUUUUUUU for three minutes straight, flashes "U" sign.”

“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Son.”

I’m calling it now: Miami beats Oklahoma, Bradford or no. Probably loses to Va Tech though.

Not a Cane fan at all.

It’s almost enough to make Michael Irvin take up crack again.

That was Donna Shalala in the UM commercial? I thought it was that dwarf Gimli from LOTR…

Have Stefano and Tony Stewart ever been seen together? Cause the resemblance is frightening.

@2 et al

I’m still not convinced the person in gold glitter is a female. It is Miami, after all.

@An ‘eer with a Beer
odd you mention that…. I remember thinking, “oh, dear” about the green glitter with braids to the right of orange glitter- brain couldn’t assign a gender role when that hot mess flashed up on the screen…then wondered why brain wanted to do that- don’t really care at all.

@37- Think about it, who has more motivation to go to Arizona in January? People in Florida where it is the same nice weather as AZ, or in Ohio where it is frozen?

Hello there kettle, many thanks for waking up the gator fans who spent far too many hours with jose, jack,, jim, etc this weekend and for the alum who were so upset at what mean old kiffy said.

look, just because you discovered college football during freshman orientation a couple years ago and beat miami for the first time in your lifetime i’m pretty sure you dont have a clue about the typical canes fan. I’m glad the uf fan hibernation ended in 06 because the rest of the world was begining to forget how lovely you all are to outsiders. Luckily we had the short lived surge of usf to compensate, but here you are, you beautiful butterfly.

Last time we were in the swamp (44-16 yup), I was referred to as a black and beans and rice eating, innertube drving, lawn mowing, diswashing, …you get the point. If only my polo had blue instead of green and my khakis were made of denim cut off shorts, I would’ve blended in with all the high class ladies and gents around me. Yes, I’m as white as you.

Your poop is a lovely scent, and its nice for you to be so angry, because that means we’re back but the hostility is a bit unnecessary, you think? I mean you’re number one baby, and we’re just a bunch of thugs not getting arrested 24 times in 4 years with a coach who would sit out a player with swine flu, so he obviously sucks.

But it might be time for a trip to landshark stadium (as sterile as your obgyn’s office) to find out for yourself about the normal canes fan, instead of listening to your on campus corresondant, “joe fratastic”, who thinks watching scarface once a month makes him an expert on miami.

Funny, yes. Accurate, not even close.

Just ask fsu fans, those trailer living, chris rix humping, bowden snorting, you get the point.